Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

AARC does not respect clients confidentiality. Dean Vause brings up past clients first and last names in Open Meeting all the time. They have photo's available to the public of all the grads, events and so on.

There may not be any law out there saying that we should respect confidentiality of clients but be open about staffers, but generally there is some sense to that. This is just for the sake of debate - not the bra picture. There is a difference between someone stuck in a graduation picture because they are trapped in AARC, and someone who chooses to become staff or keep living their life in AARC when they have been let out. Even though they are programmed all the same and "victims" in their own way, they are still making a choice, albeit a manipulated one.

Note that Dean Vause has given himself a demotion to just plain "director" in this interview.

No matter what we go through out here, whether we choose to deal with it or pretend it didn't happen, at the end of the day there are still other kids in these programs right now. They are relying on what you are doing out here in order to get out. Obviously you can't get them out on your own, but that's what all these forums are supposed to be here for - to connect with others and be supported.

You have to remember that because of the content of these forums there are very few "happy" things being discussed. You don't hear about the great things going on in some of our lives. You only hear people vent during the rough times, or recalling what happened to them, or bringing up new abuses happening still. The good news is that what you aren't hearing about is that things get better! People overcome tragedy all of the time in this world. It's in our nature to move on and rebuild. It took me many years to get to a place where I could speak freely about AARC and not feel emotional, but it has happened for me, and all that is important now is that I help someone else out of there.

You can PM me to connect with me.

You have raised some VERY good points Mel. I can understand why survivors would speak out against AARC if their families were still believers in the program.

I don't understand why they wouldn't speak out though if their parents were not involved with AARC.

There are very, very few youth who go in without parents or who's parents are kicked out yet they are trapped inside. However, I can tell you things I've observed and reason's I've been given by survivors.

Some people are just more likely to become programmed and not doubt the program, like for instance the people who make nasty posts here all the time defending Dean Vause. That's based on their personality, and also how vulnerable they are at the time they enter the program. If you are vulnerable, have no idea what your beliefs are in life, feel lost or alone, and are eager for people to accept you, then you are more likely to try to do everything you can do to get your group and staff to approve of you. Think about how many vulnerable 13 or 16 year olds you know who just want people to like and accept them.

Now for those who are NOT programmed and don't have family involved, you still have these things:

1) A HUGE mistrust in the system. You don't know who is connected to AARC, and who will tell on you. You've seen all these big fundraising events and so on, and it's hard to know who out there is for AARC and who will actually listen to you.

2) The fear of severing your relationship with your AARC family - in whom has been crucial to your survival. For every 1 person who you feel may have nearly killed you, there are 3 more who you feel you wouldn't have survived it without them. Those people are very important to you. We ALL had to mistreat one another, but we learn to see past that and become attached to each other despite that.

3) You don't want to "fight" or "sit in your shit". These are things we are programmed to believe. If we "fight" we are not being accepting. If we tell someone we were wronged we are blaming others for our problems and being whiners. That is so deeply engraved into AARC clients, and even though you may not follow AARC's ways and want nothing to do with them, it is very hard to shake that awful psychology from your head!

4) You just want to get away from it, and you fear that getting involved with something legally connected to AARC will put you back into the fight with them. That is the same reason why so many survivors read these forums but rarely post on the boards. They don't want to hear a response from the staff and feel like they're in a  Rap again.

5) Having done egressive therapy in Rap's has done psychological damage to you. Recalling the abuses in AARC out loud is similar to giving "incidents" in Rap, and you fear you'll be emotional while giving a statement. You don't want to be in that vulnerable and scary place again.

5) You fear that that authorities will harm you the way that AARC did.

6) You are ashamed of it and you don't want to be seen as abnormal. You don't want sympathy.

This list can go on and on. My sister for one will only speak about it occasionally. She remembers some unusual details and then has completely blocked out the rest.

We are talking about youth who have undergone a traumatic experience and who are taught to be afraid of support. Think of how many incest victims never turn in their abuser. The more personal work I've done to be able to speak about AARC like this, the more I've realized it's a very similar shame to sex abuse victims. And I can say that it is all a bunch of bull. There is no awful fate out there for people who speak up about it.

It's hard to prove psychological torment.

Very true. But it is not as hard to prove physical abuse, sexual abuse, or kidnapping. Especially with witnesses.

Also, someone may very well have a story with AARC that doesn't involve having been physically or sexually abused, and someone who was never restrained, or maybe they were only there for a couple of days so didn't even see any of that. Regardless, someone with that sort of an experience knows that children are there against their will and that unlawful tactics are used to keep them in there. They can give a statement to the police, and it may not be enough for the police to take any form of immediate action. It will however, be another person coming forward who is stating on the record what they are aware of, and the next time that the police get called because a neighbor witnesses a group of newcomers and an oldcomer sitting on someone in the front yard, and when arriving the victim begs the police to save them from AARC (just an example of a typical situation) they will think twice before abandoning the victim.

The fund raising for AARC from the R.C.M.P. scared victims away from reporting their abuse. Graduates need to know now that there is nothing to be afraid of. AARC programs you into thinking that everyone sees you as a lying manipulator, and that nobody will believe you when you tell them what happened to you. If the worse scenario is true and a police officer thinks you are making it all up, so what? Then they'll file it and do nothing with it, and maybe it will sit there forever unnoticed, or maybe someone else will pick it up and look into it. You don't loose anything in the process.

Of course we didn't get keys! We have been "speaking up" directly with this person.

Is Devon the young blonde boy who was a newcomer when I graduated? Special Lady friend... You would have gone through the program with him. He wasn't a drug or alcohol user before AARC but became one and then went back to AARC?

My first reaction based only on what was posted here, is how predictable such an act is. In AARC I watched young victims of exploitation (13-15 year old girls who were recruited and drugged) be told it was their fault or their "disease" that made them sell their bodies, when so obviously it was manipulative and dangerous men doing it to them.

There was a newcomer girl who was raped around age 14 or 15, and who was one of those victims of exploitation. The boy who raped her later become a newcomer himself, and never had to "make amends" for what he'd done. In fact she was punished for bringing it up.

I watched these young girls be humiliated in front of the group, undergo long "blast raps", and be restrained. Then these girls are paraded in front of the parents and media because curing a prostitute, supposedly someone who stooped to a low by choice to feed a drug habit, is the ultimate happy ending. The amount of degradation AARC subjected these girls to over months and years in my opinion is far worse than selling ones body.

So why wouldn't an AARC boy treat a sex worker violently? He's just spent a good year (if not more)being verbally violent towards them. He's maybe thrown chairs at them or chap stick, restrained them and sat on them, or denied them food or toilet paper. He's probably told them how "hurt'n" they are and then told them what they need to do to change their life. Why wouldn't he think he's better than a sex worker? Why wouldn't he think she's a "lowlife druggie"? He's been taught that the only reason someone would do such a thing is because of drugs. Acting out physical violence towards such a woman is just manifesting the thoughts that have been bread into him. I'm sure he's not the only AARC "miracle" out there using and mistreating sex workers. With all of the inescapable talk about it in AARC it becomes common place.

I feel so badly for the family and friends of the victim, and of course for the life lost.

Sadly, the prison where "Andy" is going will probably be a much better place than AARC. We can only hope he is the smaller person in his cell.