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Messages - kaydeejaded

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / STRAIGHT books, screenplays, etc.
« on: February 02, 2002, 05:48:00 AM »
I never got into a physical fight until Straight, I was scared to death of the people I met at Straight. They were so much older(I was 14) and bigger (just under 5 feet) than me. They drove me to violence, to where I did not care if I won or not as long as I got a few shots in. I lost the concern that I would get hurt or I would lose. I really can only credit Straight with that.
       In some ways I am grateful I guess because I can pretend not to be afraid when I am, now. I seem to be more confident than I was before, but I am not. I am still scared. I just act like I am not and sometimes convince everyone but me.
        Straight I rail against everyday, hating them being resentful to my parents ect.. But they are the defining influence in my life. Maybe I am pathetic but it is true. They changed my veiw of the world and although they were WRONG in their ways I would be a different person today if I did not spend 13 months with them.
         I did not get out as a gradutate or even a changed sober person. I was messed up but aware of the lies always below the surface of everything, everyone and every story. This is a trait that angers my family even my friends but it is true. I did not make the lies I only decided to see them and accept the fear that comes along with reality. The fear that probably kept the spieces alive for years before man oraganized and dominated this planet.  
        I think that it was the frightened man who made rules to live by. Guidelines to eliminate suprises and keep things under his control. It was the confident who was so sure in the final outcome he saw no reason to control the fates that led him there. I do not need to be told what to do is what I am saying don't tell me shit, I was given the instincts to do what is right for myself. For the holy rollers then if I am wrong in anything that I do then your God is not perfect and in your very thought you are against him for he made me, And homosexuals by the way! While we are are at it! :wink:

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / STRAIGHT books, screenplays, etc.
« on: January 30, 2002, 11:16:00 AM »
I really don't think that there is any video in exsistance that shows the real deal in there. They would not let that be documented. Only video I know of was pre-planned by staff and they shipped the misb's out to safe houses, to protect their image.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!
« on: January 29, 2002, 06:13:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: kaydeejaded on 2004-03-03 08:25 ]

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / STRAIGHT books, screenplays, etc.
« on: January 29, 2002, 05:34:00 PM »
Yeah I do understand your point but the veitnam movies in my opinion aren't for the vets because they do know what happened. The straight stuff will be for those who weren't in Straight so maybe people can realize that this shit happens and not let it happen to their kids. Really people do not beleive they way we were treated, they don't understand it and cannot imagine that it really goes on. I don't really care about them making some money if the ends justifies them means. I hope that it will put some sort of stigma against the places like one big long neverending bad advertisement.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dean
« on: January 28, 2002, 03:27:00 PM »
Dean MILLER LIGHT  Miller Light?????  Really that is his name or it is a joke?

Agreed because I never bought that shit. But what about the fact that we are constantly told that we need to be responsible for our actions and not depend on other people to be held responsible for what we decide to do. We also are hit with old sayings like buyer beware and shit like that. Mom is not at all responsible? Not at all and she sues for loss of compainionship he was not a fucking poodle and if she wanted him home so bad that is where she should have kept him.Wasn't she lonley while he was hiking himself to death or was that a vacation for her. I feel intense animosity towards this poor women that I don't know and don't understand. Imagine that it was a conspiricy right and now thousands on Johnny doesn't want to play football anymore parents ship there kids off in hopes of the big payoff. Sick I know but WHAT IF? Straight was too unbelievable to be true but that shit sure felt real.  Here is one quote, from where I don't know " Just because you are paranoid does not mean they aren't out to get you"

I am glad that the boys death brought about a court ruling against the program he was in but it really bothers me that his mom got to dump him off in a program and now gets a million dollars. She isn't responsible? It was her choice to send him to the program right? If I had been killed in Straight I sure as hell would not want my parents to get a million dollars! What the hell? Am I completely off base here?

Wow thats a session full of rage if I ever heard it. Shit I have not heard that much emotional outpouring since group in "89". That is some welcome back after 4 weeks in Bermuda. Well now anon. there were some people in Straight who were court ordered who stayed and some who went back to jail. I guess it is a matter of opinion and sorry but physical and personality strength. If you could hog the phone and steal everyones cigs in jail I guess you went back if you got beat up and punked in jail I guess you stayed and if ya didn't know its 50 50 because the fear of the unknown and staff tellin ya you'd be killed can be pretty powerful. Either way it is a toss up. Me I'd take County Jail Time hey you have visits a phone cigs and a set time to get out, better then straight inc but that is my opinion. OPINION... something else you can have in jail but not straight :smile: missed ya!

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Another Teen Help Article
« on: January 07, 2002, 01:14:00 AM »
I really love that quote at the end there FaceKhan Love it. :smile:

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / More Dumb Questions
« on: January 05, 2002, 02:47:00 AM »
OK, I promise after this I will not ask any more questions that will get my friendly shut up postings from other memebers, :sad:  one, what is mirror hey I am from N.Y. where/what is the mirror and two, why are some people in blue and other's in black type. That is it. Please don't yell I am a naturally curious person.

The Seed Discussion Forum / found on the web
« on: January 05, 2002, 02:38:00 AM »
Poor thing sounds like Straight. We had watered down gatorade though and I was grateful for the PB&J cause I am a vegitarian. Much better that host home cookin of roast beast. Busted for coke though? I wish really.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Growing Together of Lake Worth, Florida
« on: January 02, 2002, 02:01:00 AM »
I don't really know what to say to this dude. His son is going to hate him he will be lucky if he ever has a civil relationship with him again. My family relationship is still strained even though my life is good now. Trust is gone freedom was lost. When I was in Straight we had a camera crew come and film a video of group and air it on a show called "Youthquake" every misbehavor was removed from group and if you could scream and no one would hear you. Blopa the program your son is in is BASED ON STRAIGHT and unless you are retarted you realize that it will BE LIKE STRAIGHT and regardless if Staight was so humane and wonderful that all this shit is based on it, why is Straight closed???? Your kid just like me will say anything the staff tells him to OR you will not be talking to him. Everyone tells on everyone else there to climb up a level and maybe get out. I feels sorry for your son like getting high is ever going to look or feel worse than being locked up. Makes getting high seem like the best time of your life. You are screwing up. Your son will never trust you again. Not when he is 40 and dropping off the grandkids not when you sit together and laugh never it is always there trust me. I love my parents now 13 years later but I was NOT HELPED BY STRAIGHT I was diagnosed with PTSD and many others have been too. Along with those who have killed themselves and left there familes hating them. Why would you let a stranger have your child sounds like the only person here who has a problem is you. You are being selfish and you will I am sure feel you error in the end. I really hope you don't loose your son for good, he could run away, kill himself, have psych. problems, hate you, or be cured. You gamble on it. Good luck. :cry:

[ This Message was edited by: kaydeejaded on 2002-01-01 23:17 ]

[ This Message was edited by: kaydeejaded on 2002-01-01 23:19 ]

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / WInston Churchill on "Sobriety"
« on: December 01, 2001, 05:58:34 PM »
love ya
One night I said f*ck you mom f*ck you dad and made some attempt at screaming I will see you in hell as I was dragged down and out of the "open meeting" @#%$ it felt good. Where are my Boston People don't they hit this site???? Whats up with you all I have much love for a lot of you!!!!!!!!!!

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / WInston Churchill on "Sobriety"
« on: December 01, 2001, 08:14:09 AM »
My parents really think that they saved me through Straight. They think that the basic ideas were good and well intentioned but maybe the program got out of control. Yeah OK communism was a good idea and it got twisted and went out of control. Any argument in my opinion can be vindicated in that way. I am still so angry that is such a problem for my family and me. I know it is wrong but sometimes I throw it in their face how my life was ruined because of Straight. I read the posts here saying to stop whining ect.. but I'm still so angry. Nothing was the same after. Dumb sidebar:for a part time job application at Marshalls (a clothing store) there was an entire essay dedicated to writing about my ability to follow directions, obey authority, how reliable I was and all about my attitude. Also (of course) the have you done drugs would you lie for a co-worker if they were your friend and stole ect.. I know this is rambling off the subject but really what type of questions are these? Nazi sh*t? Is this what should be on an application to a f**king clothing store? Please if you think I am trippin please tell me ... translation just in case you need it trippin...buggin...crazy.. mistaken. Hey you know NY slang is different I am never sure what you guys say and don't. Really am I wrong or is this more of the same. The land of the Free (to do what let me know) and no I do not want to be in any other country but can we improve this one??? I do not have to sell my soul to Marshalls. In a fit anger I responded to their Nazi screening program test with total honesty.. sorry but I hate authority power=abuse of power. Hell no I would not rat my friend out to your company that's my friend who the f*ck are you? And oh I CAN be reliable and I'm very honest, follow directions that are important and Marshalls get me on a bad day and my attitude sucks. Is the PTSS (post traumatic STRAIGHT syndrome) or just me? Sorry to ramble.........Kady' alt=':'>

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / What does sembler mean
« on: December 01, 2001, 07:30:48 AM »
Seems pretty accurate there anti! Guess the old boy is just trying to live up to the family name. Sembler is now our Italian rep. and the dude is not even Italian. Right? Or is Sembler and Italian name now?

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