Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: kaydeejaded on November 04, 2002, 02:28:00 PM
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Talk about blocked memories. I totally blanked out the fact that I did a speaking engagement on 3rd phase (my brief time on 3rd phase) and proclaimed my life saving expierence at Straight in front of 100+ campers at my mother's friends RV association. This scares me. I have seen these people hundreds of times and never remembered. They never mentioned it before. Even now the memory is foggy I can recall a room full of people that was darkish. I don't recall how I got there what else I did nothing. How the hell does something like that get forgotten. I know you can lose your memory from being in a cultish enviroment but I remember a lot of shit from there, and never going out in public that memory should have been crystal. How embarassing these people just must think I never mentioned it not that I forgot. How many speaking engagements did we have to do? Did you guys do them? I feel like a freak and a fraud. :sad:
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I used to have to do talks all over Atlanta at high schools.
Lots of girls would come up to the stage afterwards and ask questions.
I thought they just wanted to learn more about the dangers of drugs. Doh! What could I have done on 5th phase anyway?
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Well, I could've lived another year without remembering that! I did a bunch of speaking engagements. I have to agree, I feel like a freak and a fraud. What's worse- they actually got me to do it on TV. Eye on Washington. Some other girl couldn't make it and it fell to me. Talk about cringing in shame. Shit, I hope that archive has been BURNED! I was on 5th phase so many times it totalled over half of my program. I believe a junior staffer always drove me.
You know, sitting here thinking about Straight sure makes my Popeye's fried chicken seem like a banquet!
Trish
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DELETE
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"I feel like a freak and a fraud."
Don't do that to yourself. You have been through an extraordinary experience. For a long time you played the Fool; now, because of that experience, you are holding an incredible piece of information for the human race and for the world. We all are: we KNOW. Respect your self, respect your life.
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How do you get the cool face that appears? Time lost is often forgotten. I hate remembering some things that I have done. The only positive things are the recollections of thoghts derived by dreams in the hope of survival. This is the atmosphere of occasional delusion.
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http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... &forum=1&0 (http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?topic=965&forum=1&0)
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I did one speaking engagement, at the Lions Club. I don't know what they do, but it was a roomful of older men, 50ish, who all looked like drunks. I said crap I didn't mean, too. My mother's husband was with me and he hated my guts. I wasn't interested in being started over, plain and simple.
I did the Straight Talk radio show, too. The topic was PCP. Of course I didn't say that I loved the stuff and really missed it! LOL
You know, I've had a copy of that on cassette tape for nearly 20 years and have never once listened to it.