Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I appreciate your thoughts,"Mike", but really, it's no big deal. Life goes on. With or without having children of my own. If this fabled "Amenorrhea" is to blame or not. Not everyone is born to reproduce. It's just the way it is. The way it's always been. There are plenty of children to love in this world around me. And I will, with all of my heart.
 My periods have been right on time for many years now. It guess it just isn't meant to be.
I can handle that.
We're only here on earth for a short visit anyways. At least I think so.. I refuse to stress myself out over ANY thing from the past, much less the present. At least not for too long. I don't think it's "healthy", do you?
Life, is just to short to muddle around and question every little damm thing that has  affected us somehow if we understand where it came from or not.
Instead, I embrace what the good Lord has given me thus far~
To think too long on ones own depressing ideas,  stunts the growth of the child within.
We've come too far for that..I've come too far for that....
Thanks


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Hello "Familiar Face",
I wish to respond to the post above.....
Thank you for your acknowledgment and your comments regarding my posting~

You must first know, I am NOT an advocate of child abuse, or abuse of any kind. It is in my nature to protect those who are suffering. It is a passion that lives deep inside of me, and it will never leave me~

Though, you have made me aware, that I too, lived through a form of abuse. I am becoming more and more aware of the abuse and suffering, of others, particularly, those from the Roloff Homes. I myself do not come from a physically abusive home. I apologize that I am slow to learn in this area. I do, however, come from a mental abusive up bringing. So, at least I can try to comprehend the "mind" part of all of this. Bare with me as I learn more, please.

My way of "thinking", as I posted, "God knows", was an attempt to help bring others peace in their mind, to remind them that they are not alone. Another words, He knows the whole truth(s). He will bring out in the light, which was once in the dark.

I NEVER implied that people are/were lying. I believe everyones story. Why wouldn't I? The Homes were in operation for thirty-something years. Many different people ran the Homes over the span of many years. Some "good", some, "bad", so how could I or you, ever not believe what others proclaim? Most of us only lived there for a few years, or less. It would be nonsense to try to speak on behalf of others who lived at the Homes in different times. And, once again, this is common sense.

Furthermore, I never said it was a "good place", nor a "bad place". It was neither to me. But, that was MY experience, not necessarily yours. And, I respect that~ Also, it would be nice if those who were "abused", could find it in thier hearts, to respect those who do not have the same awfull memories. For, neither the abused nor the non abused, are to blame... We were children, remember that~

You have said good and interesting things in your posting, I am glad that you spoke up. That is what this is all about, after all~

I too admire the teachings of Corrie Ten Boom. I have a wonderful devotional book by her. It is called, "Each New Day",in case you would like to check it out. We can never begin to understand, the sufferings that she had to endure, or all of the souls murdered in the Holocaust. Now that is an issue that really pisses me off.

YES. I do wipe the slate clean every night, and, I always will. There isn't any reason to get so deep in this area. It is a generalization. Haven't you ever heard that saying about the sun going down? ( I can't remember it right now), however what you do before you go to bed each night, is your own business. I will respect that too~

You are right! Every one has the "obligation', to ask forgiveness to those they've/we've  harmed, and closure is VERY important. Everyday~

I stand corrected on the OB/GYN issue. Though, as an adult, when ever I had gained extra weight in the past, this would happen to me, like it did in the Home. I assumed it was "the" cause. I was wrong, and "thank you", for that info. I wonder if "Amenorrhea", has something to do with the fact that my husband and I haven't conceived a baby yet. But, thats another sad issue that perhaps, I'll have to overcome too~

I do wonder if any of the abused people are doing anything about there past abuse now. Who would one go to talk to? Do you have any sugestions???Have any of you pressed charges? I probably would have, (if I personally had a reason to), but, I would have done it a long time ago~ then again, thats just me~

I can assure you, that if I had ever witnessed anything alarming, anything at all,  I would not have kept it to myself. No way man~

Others CAN make peace with their past experiences, and they must, or else, they will fade away for sure, and wake up to be little old men and women with a scrunched up grumpy face. Not good~~

All through the ages, people of "faith", have had to suffer greatly. I don't know why, do you? But, there must be a reason for it. Once we get over "this" thing, there will be another "thing"...Thats LIFE....THATS LIFE..Most of our answers, are right in front of us sometimes, and we don't choose to recognize them~At least, that has been my experience.

By the way, I still love oranges, swings, sunshine, and rock and roll~ and for these simple pleasures that God gave me to "survive with", I do not feel the need to apologize~

Thanks again Familar face. You have so much passion, perhaps you can do a lot of good in the world with it~ You go girl!
Melanie





[ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-26 05:20 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-27 12:20 ]

WOW! Very interesting. Now, for a lighter side.
Memories from children, true or false? Who's to know? God knows. So why all of the bickering? Why sound so revengeful? I hear this from both sides of this topic of "The Rebekah Home For Girls."( I will address the allegations of abuse near the end, but first, please hear me out..
 Yep, I was there too, the entire year of 1981. I hated it at first. What??? No T.V.?? No cool music?? Dresses? Church, every DAY?  Girls my age telling ME what to do??? No skipping class and sneaking around to drink beer? No sleeping in as late as I wanted to??? I don't think so!!!
 My whole life was altered and there wasn't anything I could do about it.  Well, one thing is for sure, I would have hated it till the end had I not accepted the LORD to live inside my heart. It made ALL the difference in the world.
 This decision had nothing to do with The Rebekah Home or the people in it, though many were inspiring. It was a commitment made between The Lord and me. He had been after me, long before my feet hit Rebekah's grounds.
 I saw everything in a different light from that point on. I still do. I believe that GOD took a cooky situation that I got myself into, (or my parents got me into rather), and turned it into something good, as He always does, when we let HIM. Hence, MY SALVATION!!!  Though I am not sin less, by far, I do mean well and I try to keep my head on straight and my heart open.
It IS nessasary to start over fresh every day. It feels good to wipe the slate clean before going to bed at night.
The same is true to let the past stay where it is, in the past. It's a hard thing to do. I know..I KNOW... But, one must, in order to move on... Fanatics usually mean well too, they just do everything, well, fanatically. Maybe "fanatic's" learned their behavior from their parents before them. Who can say? Then who's the abused? Who gets help first? Who is really to blame? Us? Our parents? fanatic's? The goverment? It just goes on and on.....and on, as we get older and older and ...Stop the maddness!

Don't worry or feel weird anymore if you do. Just use your common sense, thats what it's there for. If you don't feel you have much, read the book of Proberbs. Great wisdom. Hear this: "Get busy living or get busy dying"... Remember, God will judge us ALL in the end anyways. To those who feel pain from personal memories from your time at Rebekah, I wish I could comfort you. Let it pass and just say good bye to that time once and for all. Get out and make a difference in this world. The world needs your passion, don't bottle it all up inside.
 Plant a bunch of flowers everywhere. Plant a tree. Plant yourself. With good watering and loving care, you will see beautiful blooms in your life and all around you. If a storm comes, it too shall pass. Just replant. You can do this.
We can do this!
 Some of you sound so threatened by each others remarks. Where is the love??? It is wise to keep an open mind as well as an open heart. IT IS WISE...
I don't have proof of all of the things some say  happened, I must have been blind. I was probably reading my bible somewhere trying to learn Gods word for it became more and more interesting to me. Maybe I was swinging on the swing set near the school eating a million fresh oranges,(I used to love to do that). Maybe I was tanning my ankles on a blanket on the concrete. Or, I might have been attending a little gathering in the cool shade by the cafateria, listening to a nice southern girl play a good guitar~ She always wore purple glasses. We both loved Lynard Skynard. Of course, we couldn't discuss that, we both just knew. I still do.

HOWEVER, this I do know to be true...Because this happened to me.
First of all, I too didn't have a period for the entire year I lived at the Rebekah Home. I think this happened because our life styles had changed so dramatically and our hormones where affected from this. Also, most of the food that was prepared for us to consume, were very healthy and good for us. Though, I do remember a lot of starchy foods as well, which is full of carbs, and explains why so many of us gained tons of weight. Too much weight gain or loss, can affect a womans/girls cycle. I for one was quite happy for not having to deal with having a period for a year. Who wouldn't be?

YES, THERE WAS A LOCK UP ROOM.
 I spent a week in lock up and I had wackings on my be-hind a few times. Of course it hurt. I think that was the point, but I did not bleed or bruise. I pay attention to detail. Knowing this, it is hard for me to imagine true "abuse" exsisting in that Home. I think I would've noticed. Others would have told me. Wouldn't they?
 My stay in the lock up room, took place the first week that I was in the home. I had a hard time stopping curse words, for they just flew out of my mouth like bees, that is, before I found the LORD. (I still have troubles controlling this when I'm angry), but as a child, this was/is disrespectful and I understand now. I remember hearing the larger girls that had to hold me down say,  that I was the worst and the most rebellious kid they had ever delt with at that point. I probably was, because my much loved freedom, was being threatened and compromized. Yet, even though I was very stubborn and rebellious, I know that the lock up room was not nessasary. It was kinda scary. No, it was scary. The tub didn't work, and I wanted to bathe. That was gross in itself. And, I heard later, that roaches lived in the room and came out at night where we'd sleep on the floor with a single mattress. Yuck. Yuck...There were no windows either. And, when I would sing out loud, (cause I do), "worldly" things,  such as singing popular songs, the lights would be turned off. I had no control over the lights at all. I felt punishment from every direction, and nobody even knew who I was! I thought Rebekah, was a cult, for sure....
BUT, you see, the thing is this. It was in there, in that locked up room where I accepted CHRIST to live forever in my heart. There, in the dark, on my knees, alone, weeping. Just THE LORD and me. The HOLY SPIRIT finally won me over. Instant peace over came my entire being. (a few roaches may have wittnessed this too)
  I, unlike some others, really enjoyed the memorizing of scripture. Some of you refer to it as "chanting". Call it what you like, but listen-
 During very difficult and scary times in my life since I've left Rebekah, some of the Psalms that we had to memorize, would come to me and I'd say them out loud, then total peace would fall over me and I wouldn't be afraid anymore. For REAL. I still do this when I feel the need, and it still works. I think that a lot of scripture is meant to be comforting ~ As well as powerful.

Unfortuantly, I am lacking a good prayer life and bible studies. I don't even attend a church right now, and I haven't for a long, long, time..I guess I'm picky. Maybe I'm not as trusting as I should be. Though, I worship the Lord everyday. He is everywhere and in everyone and everything. HE uses us ALL. In children, the elderly, the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak...In believers and in those who don't believe yet....HE wants us all....Thank goodness.
 Luckly, God doesn't hold this against me. But He does leave the door open, I think I'll go in tonight. Thank you all for the inspiration~

May God Bless and Protect ALL of my Rebekah sisters regardless if you call yourself  "survivors", or my sisters in Christ~
 
Hi friends,
 Margot,Kim,Judy,Heidi and many others, where ever you may now be~ SHALOM ~
miss you~  Love, Melanie (king) [ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 21:29 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 21:32 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 21:38 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 21:43 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 21:44 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 21:49 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 21:54 ][ This Message was edited by: Melanie on 2004-04-06 22:09 ]