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« on: December 09, 2002, 11:22:00 PM »
I am Jeff's drug problem that he never really had, but was tortured into beleiving that he had, and then found out that he didn't have, but because he thought he had me, I really screwed with his mind. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the product of someone you all may know very well. I am the result of Jeff's 4 1/2 year incarceration in KIDS & a direct result of the mind control used to exploit his thought process.
You see, as a problem that doesn't exist, I have to be a very convincing illusion to make my victim think that I am real. I cannot succeed if my victim will not surrender his prior beliefs about himself and his life to me.
Having people scream, yell and reinforce that he is a druggie and a piece of shit (no, that he acts like a piece of shit) over & over, eventually he may cave in. If this doesn't work, we have more extreme measures to insure success, compliments of KIDS.
If one refuses to give in to this theory, then we will refuse him privileges. We will not allow him to talk, or move or tap his feet. In fact, he will be forced to remain still while people continue to speak about NOTHING exept this drug problem. After a few months of not talking and a lot less eating & sleeping his resistance will be compromised. In this weakened state, he becomes vulnerable to thought reform in its most blatant form.
I hear that they have made ground breaking discoveries about the long-term effects of motivating in flourescent lighting. They say that years later, people begin to feel uncontrollably rageful at their captor. Its not because the program did anything wrong, the anger is actually because of this illness that the patient suffered while in treatment.
Actually, it wasn't until recently that I had a realization. You see, Jeff wasn't really mad at Mr. Newton (phd.? - public administration? doctor - nah.). Actually, it was this sickness that he got when he signed out of treatment. (They actually predicted this) When he left, things got very fuzzy and scary. I knew that he was out of the one place that he needed to be in. His drug problem took control and started to fabricate these wild stories of being held captive in a warehouse in Hackensack for almost 5 years against my will. Once I found out that he could get lots of attention from it, I got more graphic with my stories, they included restraints, starvation, sleep deprivation, being screamed at for hours at a time in intake rooms. His drug problem was progressing.
It got so bad, that I started to create dreams that these people who loved and cared about him so much were coming to bring him back to the building and he resisted. In the dreams he kicks, screams, hits, stabs and acts out towards these wonderfully loving good & caring people who only want whats best for him. Who the heck is he to resist these people trying to save his life? Whats so wrong with Jeff that He can't graciously accept their help?
I was talking to Jeff's subconcious mind the other day. Here's what he asked me:
Why do I continue to have bizarre recollections of an irrational world that didnt exist? Were the Newtons correct? Am I just out of my mind like they predicted? Am I just an upset & disgruntled druggie who just wants to complain because I didn't graduate & devote my life to a higher cause? Please help, I'm losing my mind. Save me from my drug problem. Please assure me that it is all a fabrication of my creating.
You see, I lost hope in this terrible place. When the mind loses hope, it must find ways to cope. I cannot tell anymore where I was between 1986 & 1990. Maybee I was abducted by aliens and it just seemed like drug-rehab because if I saw the real deal, it would be too overwhelming. Everything in KIDS was a mere illusion.
Why can't I prove that I was somewhere for almost 5 years of my life? Was I insane then or am I insane now? Is my resentment just ficticious? Am I mad at someone for something that never really happened?
In KIDS I was told that everything that I did centered around feelings. They told me that I could guage how well I was doing with myself by how I looked. If I had bags under my eyes, it was because I was not doing well. It was clearly laid out that I only would get rebelious against the program because I was unhappy with myself. That when I left, I would hate myself so much that I would misplace my self-hate & flip it into anger at the program & the Newtons. Did this happen?
Is it true that anyone who left the program really just hates themselves for leaving and is pretending to hate KIDS to cover up their bad feelings?
If any of this sounds absolutely off the wall and crazy then you must be well. If this sounds even the slightest bit familiar in anyway, then maybee you too may suffer from the same syndrome of your disease getting worse & worse. My drug problem is outside right now doing push ups in the parking lot while I write this. As soon as I disconnect, I cannot predict how far down I'll go this time. I might even go as low as to start to accuse the Newtons of being spiteful or manipulative....No, I can't hold back.... I'm going all the way if I do it again....Screw it!!! I'll call them DISHONEST, LYING& UNTRUTHFUL!
Help me before I really do it....I'm out of control.......
Yours truly,
The drug problem
(According to Virgil)
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