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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / How to Live & Let Live
« on: June 05, 2005, 04:39:00 PM »
Once there was a way
to get back homeward

Once there was a way
to get back home

sleep pretty darling
do not cry

and i will sing a lullaby....

please send me a pm. tommyfromhyde are you out there? anyone who lives near the CT or ME school?  THANKS

Let It Bleed / how to pass music around?
« on: May 28, 2005, 10:48:00 AM »
i wish i could download a free program that is for sending mp3s to your friends, and for getting mp3s from my friends. can i already do this by email and i just never tried it?

Let It Bleed / Sippin'? Tippin'?
« on: May 26, 2005, 10:57:00 PM »
last time i had cough syrup, it had me. but i could still get in to this music, i heard one little clip i liked but i have to hear more

the article below was originally in the New York Times, but i found it at this guy's blog: ... media.html

The Strangest Sound in Hip-Hop Goes National

Published: April 17, 2005

EVERY few hours on BET, something strange happens. Some extravagantly painted and spoked cars come weaving down a street, accompanied by a trio of rappers delivering lyrics in a drawl thick enough to distort half the vowels and erase half the consonants. It may seem like a normal enough hip-hop video, but there's a catch. Everything - the beat, the rhymes, the chorus, even the cars - seems to be moving in slow motion.

The video is "Still Tippin'," by Mike Jones with Slim Thug and Paul Wall, and it's the latest hit to come from the hip-hop scene of Houston, which has been producing some of the country's best and weirdest rap music since the late 1980's. An obsessive fan could go broke trying to round up the dozens of hip-hop CD's that the city produces not every year but every month.

These days, though, Houston hip-hop is attracting not only the unhealthily obsessed but the newly curious, too, thanks in large part to the three men in the video, who are all scheduled to make their major-label debuts in the next few months. Mr. Jones - who cheerfully admits, "I'm forever promoting" - rarely spits a rhyme without announcing, "My album, 'Who Is Mike Jones?,' coming soon." And now it's true: he is to release it on Tuesday, through a new partnership between the Warner Brothers imprint Asylum and Swisha House, one of Houston's leading labels; Paul Wall and Slim Thug will follow suit this summer.

Then there's Lil' Flip, whose thug-love song "Sunshine" was one of last year's biggest hits in any genre; he's working on a big-budget album to be released this summer. And the Houston pioneers Scarface, from the Geto Boys, and Bun B, from UGK, both plan to release solo albums this fall. Altogether, Houston seems about to explode. But then again, as the veterans will tell you, chuckling knowingly, it has seemed that way before.

Much of the hip-hop coming out of Houston today can be traced to a tatty little shop on the south side that's announced by an odd sign: "Screwed Up Records & Tapes." Inside, the place has all the charm and elegance of a check-cashing joint, and hardly anything has been changed since 2000, which was the year the store's proprietor, DJ Screw, overdosed on the intoxicant he helped popularize: prescription cough syrup. His cousins maintain the store to honor his memory, and, of course, to pay the rent.

In the early 1990's, DJ Screw made his name as a psychedelic remixer: he loved to slow records down, or "screw" them, and chop them up, manipulating them to repeat his favorite words or phrases. The effect, and perhaps the cause, was intoxicating. He released the results on a series of "screwed and chopped" mixtapes.

As DJ Screw's fame spread, Houston hip-hop was transformed: the city's rappers had to adapt to his syrupy style, and some joined forces with him to form the Screwed Up Click. Perhaps Screw's innovation fit the city's slow, rambling speech patterns. Perhaps it even matched the region's thick, muggy climate. Or perhaps Screw tapes were simply the perfect entertainment for a highway-happy city where you might spend more time driving to the club than being there. The Screw shop still sells CD's and cassettes; where else do you find a tape deck these days, besides the dashboard of a not-exactly-new car? Whatever the reason, Screw stuck. It's been five years since DJ Screw's death, and just about every new album or mixtape from Houston is still available in two versions: regular or slow.

Few tracks sounded better screwed up than those of UGK, a duo from down the road in Port Arthur, Tex., that spent the 1990's releasing great albums that few listeners outside the South had a chance to hear. Pimp C, the group's producer and dandy, has been in jail since 2002, convicted of aggravated assault. But Bun B, the group's dazzling lyricist, recently agreed to meet an out-of-town reporter at one of his favorite restaurants, the Breakfast Klub, in downtown Houston.

Michael Stravato for The New York Times

While putting away a deep-fried pork chop, Bun B explained that DJ Screw's sound helped earn the city national respect. In the early 1990's, he recalled, "every time I would go to New York with something I thought was original, they was like, 'Aw, man, we was doing that in '84.' "

"But when I first brought a screwed-up tape to New York, they couldn't say they'd heard that before," he continued. "That was original to Houston."

DJ Screw's innovation gave Houston not only a sound but an economic model, too. With the rise of mixtape culture, Houston had a sprawling, decentralized distribution system to match its sprawling, decentralized landscape, and the leading mixtape rappers found they didn't really need major-label deals or radio play or even nightclub hits. If they could sell 20,000 mixtapes in Houston and nearby cities, and if they could book a steady string of live appearances, then they could get by. On a recent interview on the underground Houston hip-hop radio show "Damage Control," Lil Keke said he was satisfied with his career so far: "I wasn't living like a rapper," he conceded - no gold-plated Bentley, no new-money palace. "But I was living like a doctor."

The problem with the Houston model is that it isn't scalable. It's one thing to sell 20,000 mixtapes at local shops and flea markets, but if you want to sell, say, 200,000, then you'll probably need national distribution. And at that point, someone might notice that your mixtape is full of freestyles set to other people's beats, full of unauthorized remixes, full of uncleared samples. In short, your mixtape is illegal.

Things are changing. Southern hip-hop was once an exotic alternative to the New York City mainstream, but now rappers from the "Dirty South" routinely outsell their Northern counterparts. And the old-fashioned mixtape model is starting to be affected by the Internet, which makes mixtapes even easier to bootleg, but also makes it easier for outsiders to explore Houston hip-hop. Matt Sonzala, a host of the "Damage Control" radio show, maintains an invaluable blog,, where fans can stay up to date on Houston minutiae. And in "Still Tippin'," Paul Wall acknowledges his online fans and foes: "I got the Internet going nuts."

Few have done more to promote the current Houston boom than Michael "5000" Watts, the D.J. and remixer who runs Swisha House Records with his partner, G Dash. Mr. Watts has screwed and chopped mainstream hip-hop albums for Universal Records, and Swisha House has churned out a ruthless barrage of slick, prominently branded mixtapes. Now, with help from Warner Brothers, the label is turning its local stars into national ones.

First up is Mr. Jones, who had the prescience to turn his rather plain name into a catchphrase, which makes its appearance about halfway through "Still Tippin'," when he slurs, "I'm Mike Jones/Who?/Mike Jones." Speaking of Mr. Jones, Mr. Watts remembers, "He came to me as a businessman, not an artist," and you don't have to know much about either man to realize that this is meant as high praise. As well as advertising himself and his album, Mr. Jones loves to advertise his phone number, which is printed on his promotional T-shirts; you can call him right now at (281) 330-8004.

The "Who Is Mike Jones?" album mainly lives up the hype that its author so skillfully created. (Like most Swisha House releases, this one is to be packaged with a bonus chopped and screwed version.) Mr. Jones has an entertaining, Screw-influenced style, calling out his lyrics in a boyish voice and often repeating his favorite phrases, as if controlled by an invisible D.J. He's best at his simplest, as when he rhymes, "I'm holding wood wheel in the turning lane / My candy paint leaving stains in the turning lane," transforming a Houston commonplace (those folks sure make it easy for a driver to turn left) into an infectious hook.

Houston's increasingly high profile has caused some turmoil. As Lil' Flip was ascending into mainstream hip-hop stardom, he became entangled in a damaging feud with the smooth but ferocious Atlanta rapper T. I. (the two men reportedly had a minor physical altercation in Houston a few weeks ago). Flip found, to his dismay, that much of Houston sided with the visiting team. It seemed some Houstonians were already sick of Lil' Flip, even though most of the country was just getting to know him. And an ex-Swisha House rapper named Chamillionaire made a vituperative mixtape about the flashy, fame-hungry rapper he calls "Dyke Jones."

Besides Mr. Jones, the most likely Houston rapper to succeed is Slim Thug, a charismatic giant who is signed to Star Trak, the Interscope imprint run by the Neptunes. He's the main force behind the success of "Still Tippin' ": that's his slowed-down voice on the chorus, and he rhymes the enthralling first verse. And though the release of Slim Thug's album has been pushed back a few times (an early version was widely bootlegged), he doesn't seem worried. "I never wanted my solo record to be a small record," Slim Thug said in an interview, and judging by the thunderous underground hits scheduled for inclusion, it won't be.

Still, the depressing reality of the Houston boom is that only a few rappers will really benefit from it. Everyone else will be left to carry on more or less as before: a city of rappers struggling to live like doctors.

On a recent night in Houston, while Mr. Jones was working on his new video, a Houston hero named Devin the Dude could be found in a sweetly scented little music studio southwest of the city, working on some new tracks. He has a delicious, light-headed style, gobs of self-deprecating wit and a fistful of big-name fans, including Dr. Dre, the Roots and, somehow, Carson Daly. But Devin the Dude's most recent album sneaked silently into stores last summer, and there's no guarantee that the next one won't do the same.

Most of Devin's new songs address his favorite subject: female genitalia. (Suffice it to say that's not the term he uses.) But one was a motivational song, and his thin, spaced-out voice came out of the speakers crooning the chorus. "You got to be ready when it comes your way," he sang, accompanied by a simple beat and an acoustic guitar. "Know that you're ready / Fa sho that you're ready."

Like every other rapper in Houston, Devin is intensely aware that the city's hip-hop scene is on the verge of something. But he's been around too long to pretend he knows exactly what. Asked if he had high hopes for his new album, he shrugged and flashed a shy smile. Of course he was hoping that the Houston boom earned him lots of new listeners. "But if it doesn't work out for me," he added, "it'll work out for somebody else."

---- ... BSann.html

A Visitor's Guide to the Houston Sound

Published: April 17, 2005
BIG MOE: This outspoken syrup devotee is one of the most engaging members of the Screwed Up Click. His 2002 album "Purple World" (Wreckshop/Priority) is an entertaining introduction to his woozy mix of rapping and crooning.
Audio: 'Still da Barre Baby,' by Big Moe (From the album 'Purple World' ©2002 Wreckshop)

DEVIN THE DUDE: A brilliant oddball with a spaced-out flow. Hear it on last year's "To Tha X-Treme" (Rap-A-Lot), which includes a track based on a Brer Rabbit story.
Audio: 'To the Extreme,' by Devin the Dude (From the album 'To the Extreme' ©2005 Rap-a-Lot)

DJ SCREW: Huge selection at Novices might begin with the impeccably sequenced "Endonesia" or "Leanin on a Switch," a freestyler's delight.

GETO BOYS: The group's leader, Scarface, remains one of hip-hop's best storytellers, as he proved on his most recent solo album, "The Fix" (Def Jam South). And in January the Geto Boys, who put Houston on the map in the 1980's, returned with a strong reunion album, "The Foundation," on the long-running label Rap-A-Lot, which has played a crucial role in the scene's evolution.

LIL' FLIP: Last year, Houston's best-selling star released a shaggy but lovable double album, "U Gotta Feel Me" (Columbia). His new mixtape is "Kings of the South" (Clover Geez, find it at, a collaboration with the tough-talking raconteur Z-Ro, whose new album, "Let the Truth Be Told" (Rap-A-Lot), is due out next month.
Audio: 'Sunshine,' by Lil' Flip (Featuring Lea) (From the album 'U Gotta Feel Me' ©2004 Sony Music Entertainment)

PAUL WALL & CHAMILLIONAIRE: This witty, biracial duo released one of the best recent Houston hip-hop albums, "Get Ya Mind Correct" (Paid in Full). They've since parted ways, but both have major-label debuts due this summer.

SLIM THUG: Originally with Swisha House, he's now signed to Interscope, part of the Neptunes' Star Trak camp. Visit to buy the swaggering mixtapes with which he made his name, as well as "Welcome to Tha Hood," by his fierce protégé, Killa Kyleon.
Audio: 'Still Tippin',' by Chamillionaire, Mike Jones and Slim Thug (From the album 'The Day After Hell Broke Loose' ©2005 Rap-a-Lot/Asylum)

SWISHA HOUSE: This ambitious label, now hooked up with Warner Brothers, is known for its mixtapes. One of the best is "The Day Hell Broke Loose 2" (, a dud-free compilation.

UGK: The duo's 1996 masterpiece, "Ridin' Dirty" (Jive), is full of tough, intricate, impossibly smooth rhymes. And last month Rap-A-Lot released "Sweet James Jones Stories," a surprisingly consistent collection of rhymes from Pimp C, the group's incarcerated half.
Audio: 'Ridin' Dirty,' by UGK (From the album 'Ridin' Dirty' ©1996 Jive)

OTHER MIXTAPES: Bun B contributes tongue-twisting rhymes to "Southern Smoke 17: The Texas Mixtape Massacre" ( And Rapid Ric's new CD, "Whut It Dew 2" (find it at[/color],[/b] includes "Country Boy," a bluesy collaboration between Paul Wall and Killa Kyleon. And don't miss "Drama" (also at the spectacularly cantankerous new mixtape from the eager antihero Trae.

And definitely peep this for some more of the real:

Austin American Statesman Put It Down Hard For Us So Real

And speaking of real, I met a publicist who really seems to understand the southsoreal and is like so behind what we are doing. Nancy Byron has a good grip on this shit, and she's now repping Chamillionaire so she's bout to blow up big time to $10,000 per month proportions and shit, so holler at her now... I'm serious, Chamillion is THE one, I'll get into that later. Interview coming soon. But I'm saying, I kicked it with Nancy, peeped her vision and how she physically stopped me from bunning down Viacom (I know it's bad politics, but shit, I ain't no politician) and I gotta say she's real. Fuck with that.

Straight, Inc.

Monday, May 24, 1982

Mr. Wolf.     Mr. Speaker, I want to bring to the attention of my colleagues the opening of a drug rehabilitation program called Straight, spearheaded by parents and business people in the 10th Congressional District of Virginia which has overwhelming importance to our young people and thus to the entire Nation. The greater Washington area program is modeled after the successful original Straight program in St. Petersburg, Fla., which has helped approximately 2,000 young people become responsible, drug-free citizens again. With the country's growing drug abuse problem, now reaching into the middle and elementary schools to exploit the youngest and most vulnerable individuals in our society, this type of help is vitally needed.

Adolescent drug and alcohol abuse has become America's fastest growing health problem. Drug users are not necessarily children from underprivileged families as commonly believed, but more often from well-to-do and unsuspecting families at higher income levels. It makes sense that these children are better able to obtain large sums of money to support their drug habits, as well as keeping them hidden from their families.

Straight, Inc. is a nonprofit, privately funded, family oriented program which provides rehabilitation services for 12 to 21-year-old drug users from around the country. It focuses on family participation and positive peer pressure to reinstate a positive self-regard and self-respect to the young person.  Straight accepts no money from any level of government. All operational proceeds are from the families it serves and donations from interested groups and individuals within the community.

Although the St. Petersburg program has accepted cases from all over the country including many from the greater Washington area, the facility is rapidly approaching the time when the need for its services will far surpass its capacity.  Moreover, there are literally thousands of other families who could benefit from this program but cannot afford to send their children to Florida. The Northern Virginia Organizing Committee has already received hundreds of calls from area families who need help. I support their work and want to endorse the committee's present campaign to solicit contributions from corporations, businesses, foundations, churches, civic clubs, and individual citizens in order to obtain financial support to bring this highly effective treatment program to this area. The group's first public event to raise funds to support Straight will come June 26-27, during "Straight Weekend for Greater Washington," when  area business will donate percentages of their profits to this worthy cause.

Straight is an excellent example of people, not government, helping other people. This is the spirit that made our country great and will keep it that way for young and old alike. I commend the 83 area families who are working so hard to establish the Straight program in northern Virginia. If you would like further information about "Straight Weekend for Greater Washington" or other aspects of the program, I encourage you to contact the Northern Virginia Organizing Committee at 703-476-3760 as soon as possible.

[this is from The Congressional Record, 1982, page 11567][ This Message was edited by: fka on 2005-05-26 07:34 ]


i think this film should be interesting to people who are making or thinking about making any film on the subject of injustice to children.

see the film at one of these theatres: [NY, LA, Boston]

also check the website for other screenings. i hope this film will eventually be released in many theatres. it is really well done.

7 ... stolen.php

Putting the Film in Context

« About the Film |   | Cast »

The release of the Galen Films documentary Stolen Childhoods comes at a time when the world community is neglecting its commitments to children on a wide range of concerns.

A December 9, 2004 report from the United Nations Children's Fund says that more than 1 billion children - half of all the children in the world - are denied a healthy and protected upbringing.  Many millions, the UNICEF report says, suffer from one or more kinds of extreme deprivation - inadequate shelter, poor sanitation, insufficient health care, little or no education, a lack of food.

This is the current reality, despite a landmark 1989 human rights treaty, the Convention on the Rights of the Child, in which world leaders pledged to improve the lives of children everywhere.

Hunger and malnutrition kill more than 5 million children a year, says a report from the Food and Agricultural Organization (FAO) of the United Nations.  The spread of HIV/AIDS across the globe has created a generation of orphans - 15 million, by one estimate - who lack a protective layer of adult support.  And worldwide, 140 million children, the majority of them girls, have never been to school.

A recent report from Oxfam, the international relief agency, says that in the decade ahead millions more will go without education or die needlessly unless the rich nations of the world increase aid, and cancel poor countries' debt.  Aid budgets of the wealthy countries are now half what they were in 1960, Oxfam says.  Meanwhile, poor countries are struggling to make $100 million a day in debt repayments.

Stolen Childhoods documents how some of these policies play out.  For 246 million children, life is nothing but work.  Wangari Maathai, Kenyan environmentalist and 2004 Nobel Peace Prize winner, says in the film, "Misusing children as workers is a form of murder.  It's a slow death - a sentence of death that you are giving to the child."

As the film suggests, there is a difference between promises made over the years by international organizations and actual performance.  One hundred thirty-five nations have signed International Labour Organization Convention 138, setting minimum age standards for employment.  One hundred fifty nations have signed Convention 182, banning the worst forms of child labor.  However, as the film documents, the abuses continue.

Yet it is not hopeless. Stolen Childhoods finds some progress made by individuals and programs in tackling child labor issues.  Brazil has succeeded in cutting its rate of child labor in half with a range of programs including a highly effective educational subsidy for poor families.

Why is improving the state of children around the world an urgent matter?  In addition to the obvious humanitarian reasons, Senator Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) offers a practical one.  "This is the breeding ground for Osama Bin Laden's army and for future terrorists," he says.  "If we want a secure future for America and the world, it's not going to be enough to go bomb Saddam Hussein, or to get him out of power.  If we don't get these kids into school and get them a decent education, we're going to have more terrorism in the future."

In Stolen Childhoods, Cristovam Buarque, a member of the Brazilian senate and former minister of education, suggests a "Marshall Plan for Children," patterned after the economic recovery program undertaken in the wake of World War II.  "It would be so easy to have a social Marshall Plan, investing not in the economy, but investing in social areas for the children of the world," he says.  "This would be easy.  The money exists.  All that is needed is for the world to want to do it."

Posted by galenfilms at February 10, 2005 09:24 AM

Let It Bleed / Happiness, Un-American Style
« on: May 22, 2005, 09:20:00 AM » ... /index.php

this is part of an interview of Thomas Campbell regarding his new surf movie, Sprout:

RS: Were there lessons you learned traveling and filming with all those people?


                                                        Thomas: I would say, probably the simple ones. How happy people are, in general, in most                                                         other places in the world [outside the U.S.]. Some just have very simple lives, and their main motivation                                                         isn't necessarily predominantly monetary. It's a really harsh contrast... Especially when we'd go off to                                                         foreign places, and, coming back home, I'd be thinking, gosh, people are really not that happy here. People,                                                         in general, are so motivated by what they need to get, and think what they need to get is going to make them                                                         happy. It's like the carrot before the people's, or the horse's, mouth, ya know. I think that's the main                                                         thing that I learned, and I think that, I dunno, maybe it's time to move away. Move to one of those places                                                         and live a mellower life.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / 1984 by George Orwell
« on: May 22, 2005, 12:13:00 AM »
Chapter 1
 Part One

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly through the glass doors of Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him.

The hallway smelt of boiled cabbage and old rag mats. At one end of it a coloured poster, too large for indoor display, had been tacked to the wall. It depicted simply an enormous face, more than a metre wide: the face of a man of about forty-five, with a heavy black moustache and ruggedly handsome features. Winston made for the stairs. It was no use trying the lift. Even at the best of times it was seldom working, and at present the electric current was cut off during daylight hours. It was part of the economy drive in preparation for Hate Week. The flat was seven flights up, and Winston, who was thirty-nine and had a varicose ulcer above his right ankle, went slowly, resting several times on the way. On each landing, opposite the lift-shaft, the poster with the enormous face gazed from the wall. It was one of those pictures which are so contrived that the eyes follow you about when you move. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption beneath it ran.

Inside the flat a fruity voice was reading out a list of figures which had something to do with the production of pig-iron. The voice came from an oblong metal plaque like a dulled mirror which formed part of the surface of the right-hand wall. Winston turned a switch and the voice sank somewhat, though the words were still distinguishable. The instrument (the telescreen, it was called) could be dimmed, but there was no way of shutting it off completely. He moved over to the window: a smallish, frail figure, the meagreness of his body merely emphasized by the blue overalls which were the uniform of the party. His hair was very fair, his face naturally sanguine, his skin roughened by coarse soap and blunt razor blades and the cold of the winter that had just ended.

Outside, even through the shut window-pane, the world looked cold. Down in the street little eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn paper into spirals, and though the sun was shining and the sky a harsh blue, there seemed to be no colour in anything, except the posters that were plastered everywhere. The blackmoustachio'd face gazed down from every commanding corner. There was one on the house-front immediately opposite. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption said, while the dark eyes looked deep into Winston's own. Down at streetlevel another poster, torn at one corner, flapped fitfully in the wind, alternately covering and uncovering the single word INGSOC. In the far distance a helicopter skimmed down between the roofs, hovered for an instant like a bluebottle, and darted away again with a curving flight. It was the police patrol, snooping into people's windows. The patrols did not matter, however. Only the Thought Police mattered.

Behind Winston's back the voice from the telescreen was still babbling away about pig-iron and the overfulfilment of the Ninth Three-Year Plan. The telescreen received and transmitted simultaneously. Any sound that Winston made, above the level of a very low whisper, would be picked up by it, moreover, so long as he remained within the field of vision which the metal plaque commanded, he could be seen as well as heard. There was of course no way of knowing whether you were being watched at any given moment. How often, or on what system, the Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork. It was even conceivable that they watched everybody all the time. But at any rate they could plug in your wire whenever they wanted to. You had to live -- did live, from habit that became instinct -- in the assumption that every sound you made was overheard, and, except in darkness, every movement scrutinized.

Winston kept his back turned to the telescreen. It was safer, though, as he well knew, even a back can be revealing. A kilometre away the Ministry of Truth, his place of work, towered vast and white above the grimy landscape. This, he thought with a sort of vague distaste -- this was London, chief city of Airstrip One, itself the third most populous of the provinces of Oceania. He tried to squeeze out some childhood memory that should tell him whether London had always been quite like this. Were there always these vistas of rotting nineteenth-century houses, their sides shored up with baulks of timber, their windows patched with cardboard and their roofs with corrugated iron, their crazy garden walls sagging in all directions? And the bombed sites where the plaster dust swirled in the air and the willow-herb straggled over the heaps of rubble; and the places where the bombs had cleared a larger patch and there had sprung up sordid colonies of wooden dwellings like chicken-houses? But it was no use, he could not remember: nothing remained of his childhood except a series of bright-lit tableaux occurring against no background and mostly unintelligible.

The Ministry of Truth -- Minitrue, in Newspeak -- was startlingly different from any other object in sight. It was an enormous pyramidal structure of glittering white concrete, soaring up, terrace after terrace, 300 metres into the air. From where Winston stood it was just possible to read, picked out on its white face in elegant lettering, the three slogans of the Party:




The Ministry of Truth contained, it was said, three thousand rooms above ground level, and corresponding ramifications below. Scattered about London there were just three other buildings of similar appearance and size. So completely did they dwarf the surrounding architecture that from the roof of Victory Mansions you could see all four of them simultaneously. They were the homes of the four Ministries between which the entire apparatus of government was divided. The Ministry of Truth, which concerned itself with news, entertainment, education, and the fine arts. The Ministry of Peace, which concerned itself with war. The Ministry of Love, which maintained law and order. And the Ministry of Plenty, which was responsible for economic affairs. Their names, in Newspeak: Minitrue, Minipax, Miniluv, and Miniplenty.

The Ministry of Love was the really frightening one. There were no windows in it at all. Winston had never been inside the Ministry of Love, nor within half a kilometre of it. It was a place impossible to enter except on official business, and then only by penetrating through a maze of barbed-wire entanglements, steel doors, and hidden machine-gun nests. Even the streets leading up to its outer barriers were roamed by gorilla-faced guards in black uniforms, armed with jointed truncheons.

Winston turned round abruptly. He had set his features into the expression of quiet optimism which it was advisable to wear when facing the telescreen. He crossed the room into the tiny kitchen. By leaving the Ministry at this time of day he had sacrificed his lunch in the canteen, and he was aware that there was no food in the kitchen except a hunk of dark-coloured bread which had got to be saved for tomorrow's breakfast. He took down from the shelf a bottle of colourless liquid with a plain white label marked VICTORY GIN. It gave off a sickly, oily smell, as of Chinese ricespirit. Winston poured out nearly a teacupful, nerved himself for a shock, and gulped it down like a dose of medicine.

Instantly his face turned scarlet and the water ran out of his eyes. The stuff was like nitric acid, and moreover, in swallowing it one had the sensation of being hit on the back of the head with a rubber club. The next moment, however, the burning in his belly died down and the world began to look more cheerful. He took a cigarette from a crumpled packet marked VICTORY CIGARETTES and incautiously held it upright, whereupon the tobacco fell out on to the floor. With the next he was more successful. He went back to the living-room and sat down at a small table that stood to the left of the telescreen. From the table drawer he took out a penholder, a bottle of ink, and a thick, quarto-sized blank book with a red back and a marbled cover.

For some reason the telescreen in the living-room was in an unusual position. Instead of being placed, as was normal, in the end wall, where it could command the whole room, it was in the longer wall, opposite the window. To one side of it there was a shallow alcove in which Winston was now sitting, and which, when the flats were built, had probably been intended to hold bookshelves. By sitting in the alcove, and keeping well back, Winston was able to remain outside the range of the telescreen, so far as sight went. He could be heard, of course, but so long as he stayed in his present position he could not be seen. It was partly the unusual geography of the room that had suggested to him the thing that he was now about to do.

But it had also been suggested by the book that he had just taken out of the drawer. It was a peculiarly beautiful book. Its smooth creamy paper, a little yellowed by age, was of a kind that had not been manufactured for at least forty years past. He could guess, however, that the book was much older than that. He had seen it lying in the window of a frowsy little junk-shop in a slummy quarter of the town (just what quarter he did not now remember) and had been stricken immediately by an overwhelming desire to possess it. Party members were supposed not to go into ordinary shops ('dealing on the free market', it was called), but the rule was not strictly kept, because there were various things, such as shoelaces and razor blades, which it was impossible to get hold of in any other way. He had given a quick glance up and down the street and then had slipped inside and bought the book for two dollars fifty. At the time he was not conscious of wanting it for any particular purpose. He had carried it guiltily home in his briefcase. Even with nothing written in it, it was a compromising possession.

The thing that he was about to do was to open a diary. This was not illegal (nothing was illegal, since there were no longer any laws), but if detected it was reasonably certain that it would be punished by death, or at least by twenty-five years in a forced-labour camp. Winston fitted a nib into the penholder and sucked it to get the grease off. The pen was an archaic instrument, seldom used even for signatures, and he had procured one, furtively and with some difficulty, simply because of a feeling that the beautiful creamy paper deserved to be written on with a real nib instead of being scratched with an ink-pencil. Actually he was not used to writing by hand. Apart from very short notes, it was usual to dictate everything into the speakwrite which was of course impossible for his present purpose. He dipped the pen into the ink and then faltered for just a second. A tremor had gone through his bowels. To mark the paper was the decisive act. In small clumsy letters he wrote:

April 4th, 1984.

He sat back. A sense of complete helplessness had descended upon him. To begin with, he did not know with any certainty that this was 1984. It must be round about that date, since he was fairly sure that his age was thirty-nine, and he believed that he had been born in 1944 or 1945; but it was never possible nowadays to pin down any date within a year or two.

For whom, it suddenly occurred to him to wonder, was he writing this diary? For the future, for the unborn. His mind hovered for a moment round the doubtful date on the page, and then fetched up with a bump against the Newspeak word doublethink. For the first time the magnitude of what he had undertaken came home to him. How could you communicate with the future? It was of its nature impossible. Either the future would resemble the present, in which case it would not listen to him: or it would be different from it, and his predicament would be meaningless.

For some time he sat gazing stupidly at the paper. The telescreen had changed over to strident military music. It was curious that he seemed not merely to have lost the power of expressing himself, but even to have forgotten what it was that he had originally intended to say. For weeks past he had been making ready for this moment, and it had never crossed his mind that anything would be needed except courage. The actual writing would be easy. All he had to do was to transfer to paper the interminable restless monologue that had been running inside his head, literally for years. At this moment, however, even the monologue had dried up. Moreover his varicose ulcer had begun itching unbearably. He dared not scratch it, because if he did so it always became inflamed. The seconds were ticking by. He was conscious of nothing except the blankness of the page in front of him, the itching of the skin above his ankle, the blaring of the music, and a slight booziness caused by the gin.

Suddenly he began writing in sheer panic, only imperfectly aware of what he was setting down. His small but childish handwriting straggled up and down the page, shedding first its capital letters and finally even its full stops:

April 4th, 1984. Last night to the flicks. All war films. One very good one of a ship full of refugees being bombed somewhere in the Mediterranean. Audience much amused by shots of a great huge fat man trying to swim away with a helicopter after him, first you saw him wallowing along in the water like a porpoise, then you saw him through the helicopters gunsights, then he was full of holes and the sea round him turned pink and he sank as suddenly as though the holes had let in the water, audience shouting with laughter when he sank. then you saw a lifeboat full of children with a helicopter hovering over it. there was a middle-aged woman might have been a jewess sitting up in the bow with a little boy about three years old in her arms. little boy screaming with fright and hiding his head between her breasts as if he was trying to burrow right into her and the woman putting her arms round him and comforting him although she was blue with fright herself, all the time covering him up as much as possible as if she thought her arms could keep the bullets off him. then the helicopter planted a 20 kilo bomb in among them terrific flash and the boat went all to matchwood. then there was a wonderful shot of a child's arm going up up up right up into the air a helicopter with a camera in its nose must have followed it up and there was a lot of applause from the party seats but a woman down in the prole part of the house suddenly started kicking up a fuss and shouting they didnt oughter of showed it not in front of kids they didnt it aint right not in front of kids it aint until the police turned her turned her out i dont suppose anything happened to her nobody cares what the proles say typical prole reaction they never --

Winston stopped writing, partly because he was suffering from cramp. He did not know what had made him pour out this stream of rubbish. But the curious thing was that while he was doing so a totally different memory had clarified itself in his mind, to the point where he almost felt equal to writing it down. It was, he now realized, because of this other incident that he had suddenly decided to come home and begin the diary today.

It had happened that morning at the Ministry, if anything so nebulous could be said to happen.

It was nearly eleven hundred, and in the Records Department, where Winston worked, they were dragging the chairs out of the cubicles and grouping them in the centre of the hall opposite the big telescreen, in preparation for the Two Minutes Hate. Winston was just taking his place in one of the middle rows when two people whom he knew by sight, but had never spoken to, came unexpectedly into the room. One of them was a girl whom he often passed in the corridors. He did not know her name, but he knew that she worked in the Fiction Department. Presumably -- since he had sometimes seen her with oily hands and carrying a spanner she had some mechanical job on one of the novel-writing machines. She was a bold-looking girl, of about twenty-seven, with thick hair, a freckled face, and swift, athletic movements. A narrow scarlet sash, emblem of the Junior Anti-Sex League, was wound several times round the waist of her overalls, just tightly enough to bring out the shapeliness of her hips. Winston had disliked her from the very first moment of seeing her. He knew the reason. It was because of the atmosphere of hockey-fields and cold baths and community hikes and general clean-mindedness which she managed to carry about with her. He disliked nearly all women, and especially the young and pretty ones. It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers-out of unorthodoxy. But this particular girl gave him the impression of being more dangerous than most. Once when they passed in the corridor she gave him a quick sidelong glance which seemed to pierce right into him and for a moment had filled him with black terror. The idea had even crossed his mind that she might be an agent of the Thought Police. That, it was true, was very unlikely. Still, he continued to feel a peculiar uneasiness, which had fear mixed up in it as well as hostility, whenever she was anywhere near him.

The other person was a man named O'Brien, a member of the Inner Party and holder of some post so important and remote that Winston had only a dim idea of its nature. A momentary hush passed over the group of people round the chairs as they saw the black overalls of an Inner Party member approaching. O'Brien was a large, burly man with a thick neck and a coarse, humorous, brutal face. In spite of his formidable appearance he had a certain charm of manner. He had a trick of resettling his spectacles on his nose which was curiously disarming -- in some indefinable way, curiously civilized. It was a gesture which, if anyone had still thought in such terms, might have recalled an eighteenth-century nobleman offering his snuffbox. Winston had seen O'Brien perhaps a dozen times in almost as many years. He felt deeply drawn to him, and not solely because he was intrigued by the contrast between O'Brien's urbane manner and his prize-fighter's physique. Much more it was because of a secretly held belief -- or perhaps not even a belief, merely a hope -- that O'Brien's political orthodoxy was not perfect. Something in his face suggested it irresistibly. And again, perhaps it was not even unorthodoxy that was written in his face, but simply intelligence. But at any rate he had the appearance of being a person that you could talk to if somehow you could cheat the telescreen and get him alone. Winston had never made the smallest effort to verify this guess: indeed, there was no way of doing so. At this moment O'Brien glanced at his wrist-watch, saw that it was nearly eleven hundred, and evidently decided to stay in the Records Department until the Two Minutes Hate was over. He took a chair in the same row as Winston, a couple of places away. A small, sandy-haired woman who worked in the next cubicle to Winston was between them. The girl with dark hair was sitting immediately behind.

The next moment a hideous, grinding speech, as of some monstrous machine running without oil, burst from the big telescreen at the end of the room. It was a noise that set one's teeth on edge and bristled the hair at the back of one's neck. The Hate had started.

As usual, the face of Emmanuel Goldstein, the Enemy of the People, had flashed on to the screen. There were hisses here and there among the audience. The little sandy-haired woman gave a squeak of mingled fear and disgust. Goldstein was the renegade and backslider who once, long ago (how long ago, nobody quite remembered), had been one of the leading figures of the Party, almost on a level with Big Brother himself, and then had engaged in counter-revolutionary activities, had been condemned to death, and had mysteriously escaped and disappeared. The programmes of the Two Minutes Hate varied from day to day, but there was none in which Goldstein was not the principal figure. He was the primal traitor, the earliest defiler of the Party's purity. All subsequent crimes against the Party, all treacheries, acts of sabotage, heresies, deviations, sprang directly out of his teaching. Somewhere or other he was still alive and hatching his conspiracies: perhaps somewhere beyond the sea, under the protection of his foreign paymasters, perhaps even -- so it was occasionally rumoured -- in some hiding-place in Oceania itself.

Winston's diaphragm was constricted. He could never see the face of Goldstein without a painful mixture of emotions. It was a lean Jewish face, with a great fuzzy aureole of white hair and a small goatee beard -- a clever face, and yet somehow inherently despicable, with a kind of senile silliness in the long thin nose, near the end of which a pair of spectacles was perched. It resembled the face of a sheep, and the voice, too, had a sheep-like quality. Goldstein was delivering his usual venomous attack upon the doctrines of the Party -- an attack so exaggerated and perverse that a child should have been able to see through it, and yet just plausible enough to fill one with an alarmed feeling that other people, less level-headed than oneself, might be taken in by it. He was abusing Big Brother, he was denouncing the dictatorship of the Party, he was demanding the immediate conclusion of peace with Eurasia, he was advocating freedom of speech, freedom of the Press, freedom of assembly, freedom of thought, he was crying hysterically that the revolution had been betrayed -- and all this in rapid polysyllabic speech which was a sort of parody of the habitual style of the orators of the Party, and even contained Newspeak words: more Newspeak words, indeed, than any Party member would normally use in real life. And all the while, lest one should be in any doubt as to the reality which Goldstein's specious claptrap covered, behind his head on the telescreen there marched the endless columns of the Eurasian army -- row after row of solid-looking men with expressionless Asiatic faces, who swam up to the surface of the screen and vanished, to be replaced by others exactly similar. The dull rhythmic tramp of the soldiers' boots formed the background to Goldstein's bleating voice.

Before the Hate had proceeded for thirty seconds, uncontrollable exclamations of rage were breaking out from half the people in the room. The self-satisfied sheep-like face on the screen, and the terrifying power of the Eurasian army behind it, were too much to be borne: besides, the sight or even the thought of Goldstein produced fear and anger automatically. He was an object of hatred more constant than either Eurasia or Eastasia, since when Oceania was at war with one of these Powers it was generally at peace with the other. But what was strange was that although Goldstein was hated and despised by everybody, although every day and a thousand times a day, on platforms, on the telescreen, in newspapers, in books, his theories were refuted, smashed, ridiculed, held up to the general gaze for the pitiful rubbish that they were in spite of all this, his influence never seemed to grow less. Always there were fresh dupes waiting to be seduced by him. A day never passed when spies and saboteurs acting under his directions were not unmasked by the Thought Police. He was the commander of a vast shadowy army, an underground network of conspirators dedicated to the overthrow of the State. The Brotherhood, its name was supposed to be. There were also whispered stories of a terrible book, a compendium of all the heresies, of which Goldstein was the author and which circulated clandestinely here and there. It was a book without a title. People referred to it, if at all, simply as the book. But one knew of such things only through vague rumours. Neither the Brotherhood nor the book was a subject that any ordinary Party member would mention if there was a way of avoiding it.

In its second minute the Hate rose to a frenzy. People were leaping up and down in their places and shouting at the tops of their voices in an effort to drown the maddening bleating voice that came from the screen. The little sandy-haired woman had turned bright pink, and her mouth was opening and shutting like that of a landed fish. Even O'Brien's heavy face was flushed. He was sitting very straight in his chair, his powerful chest swelling and quivering as though he were standing up to the assault of a wave. The dark-haired girl behind Winston had begun crying out 'Swine! Swine! Swine!' and suddenly she picked up a heavy Newspeak dictionary and flung it at the screen. It struck Goldstein's nose and bounced off; the voice continued inexorably. In a lucid moment Winston found that he was shouting with the others and kicking his heel violently against the rung of his chair. The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but, on the contrary, that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp. Thus, at one moment Winston's hatred was not turned against Goldstein at all, but, on the contrary, against Big Brother, the Party, and the Thought Police; and at such moments his heart went out to the lonely, derided heretic on the screen, sole guardian of truth and sanity in a world of lies. And yet the very next instant he was at one with the people about him, and all that was said of Goldstein seemed to him to be true. At those moments his secret loathing of Big Brother changed into adoration, and Big Brother seemed to tower up, an invincible, fearless protector, standing like a rock against the hordes of Asia, and Goldstein, in spite of his isolation, his helplessness, and the doubt that hung about his very existence, seemed like some sinister enchanter, capable by the mere power of his voice of wrecking the structure of civilization.

It was even possible, at moments, to switch one's hatred this way or that by a voluntary act. Suddenly, by the sort of violent effort with which one wrenches one's head away from the pillow in a nightmare, Winston succeeded in transferring his hatred from the face on the screen to the dark-haired girl behind him. Vivid, beautiful hallucinations flashed through his mind. He would flog her to death with a rubber truncheon. He would tie her naked to a stake and shoot her full of arrows like Saint Sebastian. He would ravish her and cut her throat at the moment of climax. Better than before, moreover, he realized why it was that he hated her. He hated her because she was young and pretty and sexless, because he wanted to go to bed with her and would never do so, because round her sweet supple waist, which seemed to ask you to encircle it with your arm, there was only the odious scarlet sash, aggressive symbol of chastity.

The Hate rose to its climax. The voice of Goldstein had become an actual sheep's bleat, and for an instant the face changed into that of a sheep. Then the sheep-face melted into the figure of a Eurasian soldier who seemed to be advancing, huge and terrible, his sub-machine gun roaring, and seeming to spring out of the surface of the screen, so that some of the people in the front row actually flinched backwards in their seats. But in the same moment, drawing a deep sigh of relief from everybody, the hostile figure melted into the face of Big Brother, black-haired, black-moustachio'd, full of power and mysterious calm, and so vast that it almost filled up the screen. Nobody heard what Big Brother was saying. It was merely a few words of encouragement, the sort of words that are uttered in the din of battle, not distinguishable individually but restoring confidence by the fact of being spoken. Then the face of Big Brother faded away again, and instead the three slogans of the Party stood out in bold capitals:




But the face of Big Brother seemed to persist for several seconds on the screen, as though the impact that it had made on everyone's eyeballs was too vivid to wear off immediately. The little sandyhaired woman had flung herself forward over the back of the chair in front of her. With a tremulous murmur that sounded like 'My Saviour!' she extended her arms towards the screen. Then she buried her face in her hands. It was apparent that she was uttering a prayer.

At this moment the entire group of people broke into a deep, slow, rhythmical chant of 'B-B! ...B-B!' -- over and over again, very slowly, with a long pause between the first 'B' and the second-a heavy, murmurous sound, somehow curiously savage, in the background of which one seemed to hear the stamp of naked feet and the throbbing of tom-toms. For perhaps as much as thirty seconds they kept it up. It was a refrain that was often heard in moments of overwhelming emotion. Partly it was a sort of hymn to the wisdom and majesty of Big Brother, but still more it was an act of self-hypnosis, a deliberate drowning of consciousness by means of rhythmic noise. Winston's entrails seemed to grow cold. In the Two Minutes Hate he could not help sharing in the general delirium, but this sub-human chanting of 'B-B! ...B-B!' always filled him with horror. Of course he chanted with the rest: it was impossible to do otherwise. To dissemble your feelings, to control your face, to do what everyone else was doing, was an instinctive reaction. But there was a space of a couple of seconds during which the expression of his eyes might conceivably have betrayed him. And it was exactly at this moment that the significant thing happened -- if, indeed, it did happen.

Momentarily he caught O'Brien's eye. O'Brien had stood up. He had taken off his spectacles and was in the act of resettling them on his nose with his characteristic gesture. But there was a fraction of a second when their eyes met, and for as long as it took to happen Winston knew-yes, he knew!-that O'Brien was thinking the same thing as himself. An unmistakable message had passed. It was as though their two minds had opened and the thoughts were flowing from one into the other through their eyes. 'I am with you,' O'Brien seemed to be saying to him. 'I know precisely what you are feeling. I know all about your contempt, your hatred, your disgust. But don't worry, I am on your side!' And then the flash of intelligence was gone, and O'Brien's face was as inscrutable as everybody else's.

That was all, and he was already uncertain whether it had happened. Such incidents never had any sequel. All that they did was to keep alive in him the belief, or hope, that others besides himself were the enemies of the Party. Perhaps the rumours of vast underground conspiracies were true after all -- perhaps the Brotherhood really existed! It was impossible, in spite of the endless arrests and confessions and executions, to be sure that the Brotherhood was not simply a myth. Some days he believed in it, some days not. There was no evidence, only fleeting glimpses that might mean anything or nothing: snatches of overheard conversation, faint scribbles on lavatory walls -- once, even, when two strangers met, a small movement of the hand which had looked as though it might be a signal of recognition. It was all guesswork: very likely he had imagined everything. He had gone back to his cubicle without looking at O'Brien again. The idea of following up their momentary contact hardly crossed his mind. It would have been inconceivably dangerous even if he had known how to set about doing it. For a second, two seconds, they had exchanged an equivocal glance, and that was the end of the story. But even that was a memorable event, in the locked loneliness in which one had to live.

Winston roused himself and sat up straighter. He let out a belch. The gin was rising from his stomach.

His eyes re-focused on the page. He discovered that while he sat helplessly musing he had also been writing, as though by automatic action. And it was no longer the same cramped, awkward handwriting as before. His pen had slid voluptuously over the smooth paper, printing in large neat capitals -






over and over again, filling half a page.

He could not help feeling a twinge of panic. It was absurd, since the writing of those particular words was not more dangerous than the initial act of opening the diary, but for a moment he was tempted to tear out the spoiled pages and abandon the enterprise altogether.

He did not do so, however, because he knew that it was useless. Whether he wrote DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER, or whether he refrained from writing it, made no difference. Whether he went on with the diary, or whether he did not go on with it, made no difference. The Thought Police would get him just the same. He had committed -- would still have committed, even if he had never set pen to paper -- the essential crime that contained all others in itself. Thoughtcrime, they called it. Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed for ever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you.

It was always at night -- the arrests invariably happened at night. The sudden jerk out of sleep, the rough hand shaking your shoulder, the lights glaring in your eyes, the ring of hard faces round the bed. In the vast majority of cases there was no trial, no report of the arrest. People simply disappeared, always during the night. Your name was removed from the registers, every record of everything you had ever done was wiped out, your one-time existence was denied and then forgotten. You were abolished, annihilated: vaporized was the usual word.

For a moment he was seized by a kind of hysteria. He began writing in a hurried untidy scrawl:

theyll shoot me i don't care theyll shoot me in the back of the neck i dont care down with big brother they always shoot you in the back of the neck i dont care down with big brother --

He sat back in his chair, slightly ashamed of himself, and laid down the pen. The next moment he started violently. There was a knocking at the door.

Already! He sat as still as a mouse, in the futile hope that whoever it was might go away after a single attempt. But no, the knocking was repeated. The worst thing of all would be to delay. His heart was thumping like a drum, but his face, from long habit, was probably expressionless. He got up and moved heavily towards the door.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / biting the bullet
« on: May 21, 2005, 01:26:00 PM »
i bit it in half already. can't bite no more.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Animals, I am NOT Satan
« on: May 21, 2005, 11:42:00 AM »

but thank you for the compliment.  :em:

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / hi Animals
« on: May 21, 2005, 11:32:00 AM »
where you been at?

smoked any good weed lately? i have.  :smokin:

hey maybe if i ever come down that way i will  :eek:  share a joint with you. hand rolled. i'm gettin pretty good at it.

Let It Bleed / Need the lowdown on the Anti-Piracy warning
« on: May 18, 2005, 02:57:00 PM »
so i got the new Jack Johnson cd, and a friend of mine pointed out the Anti-Piracy warning on the back. he was saying something like that means you can't rip it or copy it. uhm, so far i have ripped it into my music thing, and made a copy or two for people. i never listened to the copies the whole way through, but they seemed to have all the songs on them. as for the music program i play my music with, it does seem to be fucking up a little bit when i play it, like there is one song it gets to and starts, then it skips to another song, then another. but i think some songs it plays fine.

left to my own devices, i will try ripping it again & see if that fixes things, but my friend said maybe you can only rip it or burn it a certain number of times...

i guess i understand the motivation behind it, but come on Jack Johnson, people like to pass music around. that's how you get heard. people aren't going to buy every cd that comes out but if their friends turn them on to it they might buy the next one.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / the Govt & the CIA are watching us
« on: May 16, 2005, 07:17:00 PM »
i just wouldn't doubt it. the US Govt tests Nuclear Weapons after all! of course they would be interested in one of the weapons of the enemy: thought control. am i accusing the Govt of setting up and perpetuating Straight, Inc? maybe maybe not, but i think they would like to know what the after effects are.

scratch that, they definitely perpetuated it.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Intake day
« on: May 16, 2005, 12:07:00 AM »
they sent me home with two big girls. i can imagine the executive staff talking about it -- "she's a flight risk, for sure." did they derive pleasure from making certain that the first house i went to, the car drove into the garage and the garage door closed? two big oldcomers? i think someone's mattress was pulled in front of the door. the window would have been locked and alarmed. me a caged animal.  :eek:

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