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« on: July 23, 2008, 03:38:24 PM »
shanlea123, I also have communication problems with my Mother. By the time, I was sent to RMA she was, thankfully, not my custodian. I donot harbor a grudge against my parents for sending me to RMA, nor for creating the situation that made a place like RMA a possibility for me. They did the best that they could with their limitation. Neither of my parents had any business having children. On a superficial level, I really enjoy both my parents. They are well-read, witty, great conversationalist, and occasionally brilliant. I talk to them 3 - 4 times a year max., and see them maybe once every two years. The last time I saw my mother was when my grandmother was dying. At one point, I said to her "Mom, let's keep this pleasant and talk about something else". My mother was emotionally unavailable for the rest of our time together after that comment, and it was really just as well. My grandmother helped to raise me, and after she died I was left feeling like a homeless orphan.
On the same trip, a group of us were sitting at the dinning room table when one of uncles or aunts asked about RMA. I was floored. I graduated in 87 -- 20 years later someone asks. I mentioned the riots at NWA: The kid who hung himself: The many of my peers that have committed suicide or have been incarcerated: The fact that it is closed: It is a cult. It was built on synanon, and that movement came out of torture techniques developed in the Korean war. I was on a soap box for about 5 minutes. I loved every moment of my soliloquy. I closed the conversation with I'd prefer not to talk about this again. I had no desire for them to ask questions that would just bring on more nightmares, or upset me. I could see no benefit in hearing what they had to say about the subject.
Thank you for writing about your dream. Its reassuring to know I am not alone.
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