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Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones => Topic started by: lifeboat on October 10, 2010, 01:51:52 PM

Title: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on October 10, 2010, 01:51:52 PM
The lifeboat experience was very hard for me.  I would never wish for anyone in my peer group to die.  This experience made me very sad.  I would never want to say goodbye to friends if I were dying.  I did not like to sort out in my head whether people should die or not.  I have a special compassion for people.  I don't believe that anyone should have to die.  When I had to say goodbye to people like my grandmothers, sister, brother, friends, and put a rose on my mother's grave and one on my father's grave, it shows how much  I love people.  I was also thinking about Shiela's little girl when I went around to her, I don't like thinking like that at all.  I began to think that when the boat was drowning it is was my turn to go to sleep and wonder if my mother felt this way when she died.  I now understand her, I think just from experiencing this exercise.  This exercise is a very important lesson because it teaches me that I have to tell people how much I love them.  I felt small when I was done sharing for one minute why I think I should live.  Because I kept on babbling the same thing over a few times.  There should have been more reasons why I should live - why I felt small.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on October 10, 2010, 04:36:33 PM
Quote from: "lifeboat"
The lifeboat experience was very hard for me.  I would never wish for anyone in my peer group to die.  This experience made me very sad.  I would never want to say goodbye to friends if I were dying.  I did not like to sort out in my head whether people should die or not.  I have a special compassion for people.  I don't believe that anyone should have to die.  When I had to say goodbye to people like my grandmothers, sister, brother, friends, and put a rose on my mother's grave and one on my father's grave, it shows how much  I love people.  I was also thinking about Shiela's little girl when I went around to her, I don't like thinking like that at all.  I began to think that when the boat was drowning it is was my turn to go to sleep and wonder if my mother felt this way when she died.  I now understand her, I think just from experiencing this exercise.  This exercise is a very important lesson because it teaches me that I have to tell people how much I love them.  I felt small when I was done sharing for one minute why I think I should live.  Because I kept on babbling the same thing over a few times.  There should have been more reasons why I should live - why I felt small.


http://www.secretprisonsforteens.dk/for ... t_workshop (http://www.secretprisonsforteens.dk/fornitswiki/index.php/Propheets_%28CEDU%29#The_summit_workshop) - The summit workshop - The life boat +
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Anne Bonney on October 10, 2010, 04:40:45 PM
Exactly my point about fucking LGATs and the goddamn damage they do.  It's so sad and I'm so sorry you had to go thru it.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Son Of Serbia on October 12, 2010, 10:03:21 AM
Quote from: "lifeboat"
The lifeboat experience was very hard for me.  I would never wish for anyone in my peer group to die.  This experience made me very sad.  I would never want to say goodbye to friends if I were dying.  I did not like to sort out in my head whether people should die or not.  I have a special compassion for people.  I don't believe that anyone should have to die.  When I had to say goodbye to people like my grandmothers, sister, brother, friends, and put a rose on my mother's grave and one on my father's grave, it shows how much  I love people.  I was also thinking about Shiela's little girl when I went around to her, I don't like thinking like that at all.  I began to think that when the boat was drowning it is was my turn to go to sleep and wonder if my mother felt this way when she died.  I now understand her, I think just from experiencing this exercise.  This exercise is a very important lesson because it teaches me that I have to tell people how much I love them.  I felt small when I was done sharing for one minute why I think I should live.  Because I kept on babbling the same thing over a few times.  There should have been more reasons why I should live - why I felt small.

Wow, that's messed up.  Just another reason why I'm so glad I split and got the fuck out
of Cedu when I did.  At least this is one horrible memory from Cedu that I don't have!  I'm sorry you had to go thru that Lifeboat.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Son Of Serbia on October 12, 2010, 10:03:40 AM
Quote from: "lifeboat"
The lifeboat experience was very hard for me.  I would never wish for anyone in my peer group to die.  This experience made me very sad.  I would never want to say goodbye to friends if I were dying.  I did not like to sort out in my head whether people should die or not.  I have a special compassion for people.  I don't believe that anyone should have to die.  When I had to say goodbye to people like my grandmothers, sister, brother, friends, and put a rose on my mother's grave and one on my father's grave, it shows how much  I love people.  I was also thinking about Shiela's little girl when I went around to her, I don't like thinking like that at all.  I began to think that when the boat was drowning it is was my turn to go to sleep and wonder if my mother felt this way when she died.  I now understand her, I think just from experiencing this exercise.  This exercise is a very important lesson because it teaches me that I have to tell people how much I love them.  I felt small when I was done sharing for one minute why I think I should live.  Because I kept on babbling the same thing over a few times.  There should have been more reasons why I should live - why I felt small.

Wow, that's messed up.  Just another reason why I'm so glad I split and got the fuck out
of Cedu when I did.  At least this is one horrible memory from Cedu that I don't have!  I'm sorry you had to go thru that Lifeboat.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on October 13, 2010, 05:39:39 PM
The "Summit Workshop" writing assignments

How I cast you die votes every day
25 times I was denied love
25 times I failed to give love to others
2 pages - The importance of love in my life
2 pages on my contract "I am a gentle and accepting man"
1 page about "Rocking experience"
1 page - I slap people away everyday"
The junkyard
Broken agreements
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: psy on October 13, 2010, 08:36:13 PM
At Benchmark (a cedu clone). I "jumped out" of the lifeboat and ruined the exercise.  Staff were upset but I explained it was just a game.  Needless to say I didn't score brownie points for that stunt.  I wasn't very brainwashed at that point.  The second time I went through the workshop (I redid it), I took it much more seriously.  I can't remember what I did the second time around, though.  Much of it I can't remember.  Whether it was the sleep deprivation or...  I dunno.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Anne Bonney on October 14, 2010, 09:39:10 AM
Quote from: "psy"
At Benchmark (a cedu clone). I "jumped out" of the lifeboat and ruined the exercise.  Staff were upset but I explained it was just a game.


Niiiiice!!!  :cheers:
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Samara on October 14, 2010, 10:48:30 AM
I'll bet Psy caught holy hell for that. At CEDU, your life would be tortured to submission for jumping out of a life boat.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on October 15, 2010, 03:55:46 PM
Quote
The "Summit Workshop" writing assignments

How I cast you die votes every day
25 times I was denied love
25 times I failed to give love to others
2 pages - The importance of love in my life
2 pages on my contract "I am a gentle and accepting man"
1 page about "Rocking experience"
1 page - I slap people away everyday"
The junkyard
Broken agreements

Other writing assignments

"Dear mom and Dad"
- Example:  I want to forgive you for *****
Importance of agreements in my life
The funeral
The stretch
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: try another castle on October 20, 2010, 12:18:26 AM
Interestingly enough, the lifeboat model was apparently quite a benign team-building exercise that you would normally experience on something like a ropes course. In its uncompromised form, it is a vehicle for problem-solving, and involves none of the bullshit hyperdrama guided imagery fest that we experienced in lifespring/summit. My therapist said he did something like that at camp, if memory serves, and he was pretty surprised to hear about the version I went through.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on November 08, 2010, 01:27:21 PM
The costume party - notes

Winnie the poo  

Boys bathroom
Gentle and Loving Bear
Brings a home made gift for everyone

Explosive bear
Big belly, hair, Bear ears
Honey pot
Gentle and loving

Anyone who says "no" I explode, and explode all over them for 10 seconds.  I then go pout in corner and says "nobody loves me."

Bear tail
Stuff belly with pillow, arms and legs
Wears shirt that says "poos honey pot"
Wants to share honey with every one

No private areas
No old lodge, Emerson, farm
No one can know what's going on
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Inculcated on November 08, 2010, 02:01:00 PM
No disrespect intended here…but, what the fuck?! Is this ^ notes from the script for a CEDU psychodrama?
I have to ask because it reads like some ritualized seriously demented pedo grooming thing.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on November 08, 2010, 02:10:42 PM
Quote from: "Inculcated"
No disrespect intended here…but, what the fuck?! Is this ^ notes from the script for a CEDU psychodrama?
I have to ask because it reads like some ritualized seriously demented pedo grooming thing.

People dressed up as characters in the Summit workshop.  The notes were what was written in my summit notebook.  It was easier for me to write it that way in my notebook.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Inculcated on November 08, 2010, 02:12:56 PM
Understood and THX for the answer. What other kinds of characters were there? Were they assigned or selected?
Additionally: what was their stated purpose of the Winnie the pooh thing?
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Samara on November 08, 2010, 02:16:30 PM
They will assign for maximum cruelty. One of the ones they enjoyed assigning is a bathing suit-beauty role for someone dealing with weight issues.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Inculcated on November 08, 2010, 02:34:07 PM
Oh, that’s just messed up. Were these always stock characters that they assigned? If so, about how many were there and what were they?

I ask because the melodrama and psychodramas that occurred in Daytop were more subtle than what seems to have been at play in these workshops—in that the role playing played out differently (more like confront this scenerio as if you were ______ and of course scream and cry) and the costumery was reserved for LEs and the like. This was typically restricted to signs and props denoting condemnations of being something along the lines of toxic, baby, stupid etc. I do remember one group where we played what’s described above as the lifeboat thing, but I don’t remember it as a reoccurring element or an aspect of ascending from one tier to another.

How many workshops were there?
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Samara on November 08, 2010, 02:54:47 PM
I think staff could devise whatever ones they wanted. Whatever hurts the most. But many were replayed. People don't like to talk about it, and you are sworn to secrecy. Some got lucky and had a role that didn't humiliate them as much as others.  That's ok - they'd get their dish served up at other points during the 5 or 7 day summit.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Inculcated on November 08, 2010, 02:56:54 PM
5-7 DAYS?  :eek:
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Anne Bonney on November 08, 2010, 03:01:01 PM
And this is the kind of shit that passes for "therapy", even today inside programs.   ::)  ::puke::
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Samara on November 08, 2010, 03:13:09 PM
Yep, 5-7 days of experentials.

Raps were several times a week for four hours a pop. But every so often, we'd have a propheet (series of experentials in an isolated, highly manipulated environment, deprived of sleep etc.)... the propheets could be 24 hours to a week. Your last propheets were workshops lasting 3 days to a week so if you wre not sufficiently fucked up before you certainly were by the end of it. It was just endless psychodramas, experentials, brutal encounter groups and dyads and humiliating role playing.  

All propheets were enshrouded under a huge cloud of secrecy. Divulging the program would be a big a$$ no-no.  

After the torture and isolation from the rest of the school, you came back in a big joyous dance-a-thon to show to all who have not participated that you were "Saved." Hallelujah,baby! Truth was, you were just so damn happy to be out of it, you were elated.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on November 08, 2010, 04:22:38 PM
Quote from: "Inculcated"
Understood and THX for the answer. What other kinds of characters were there? Were they assigned or selected?
Additionally: what was their stated purpose of the Winnie the pooh thing?

- Indiana Jones
- Peter pan
- Cnderalla

They were assigned

The purpose of Winnie the poo was to "role play" when I was angry.  I could "take a look at myself."
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Gonzotherapy on November 08, 2010, 05:34:06 PM
Well, I won the lifeboat. I lived. So David Gilcrease can suck it. That exercise was stupid as hell. Stupid seminars...
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on November 09, 2010, 05:13:11 AM
The funeral

This was a very hard experience for me.  I could never imagine seeing my friends mourning for me the way that I saw them from outside the casket.  I started to think about my brother, sister, when I was watching my friends walk away from me.  Reading the epitat sucks to read because I had to write about how other people saw me.  Reading that made me really sad when I started reading about my grandma and the fun we used to have when I was swimming in her pool.  I was very sad when I read last messages.  Some of my best friends were on there.  Reading off the last statements made me really sad in general.  I some tears in peoples eyes that were my good friends.  I saw my cousin ***** really hurting, I saw my best friends Megan, Am****a and Alex very sad.  I saw my brother and sister at the funeral and that made me really sad because they are the only two left out of my family.  My sister was saying, "My favorite big brother died" and I got really sad when I thought about about how my brother would be screwed with.  He has seen quite a bit in his own life.  I also imagine that the casket was right next to my moms and we were talking.  I thought about her allot in the Summit workshop.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on November 09, 2010, 05:42:11 PM
http://wiki.fornits.com/index.php?title ... %28CEDU%29 (http://wiki.fornits.com/index.php?title=Propheets_%28CEDU%29)


The Funeral    

This is a follow-up to the lifeboat exercise, and is done the next day. It begins by the staff telling the students that the lifeboat sunk, so everyone drowned. The participants are then required to write their own epitaph, and read it in front of the group. After the student finishes, they go and lay on their backs on the floor. When everyone is prone, students are subjected to guided imagery that they are getting buried. This exercise in the 70s also involved the students getting covered in comforters, simulating dirt being thrown on top of them. However, too many students were panicking and vomiting, so that practice was abolished. During the guided imagery part, staff will occasionally call out names of people who have died that individuals in the peer group knew. The staff then states that the students may sit up when, and only when, they are ready to get on with their life.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: try another castle on November 09, 2010, 10:48:10 PM
Quote from: "Inculcated"
Oh, that’s just messed up. Were these always stock characters that they assigned? If so, about how many were there and what were they?

I have my summit notebook, stored away in my "box of crazy"  underneath the stereo. You can peruse it if you want, next time you come over for absinthe or whatever the poison du jour happens to be. (I still have that bottle in the freezer, btw.) The notebook's certainly got some weird ass shit in it, yo, but most of it is just sad and pathetic.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: Inculcated on November 09, 2010, 11:52:05 PM
@T.A.C. Well as you know, I’m compelled to be a bit of a Pandora when signing for some boxes of crazy. Others of my own creation are disguised as subtle little accents throughout the décor at my place. I’d be very interested to see your Summit notes. We’ll definitely have to pick the right poison for that. The Absinthe preparation was tedious --as it involved such a prolonged upper body workout. (http://http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/c/0/0/ab/4/AAAADKo_VzUAAAAAAKtMqg.jpg?v=1264794967000)

Re: The Funeral Hmmm, another interesting similarity...In Daytop we had a group where we had been asked to write and read aloud our own eulogy. We weren’t given much time to jot these down, let alone to prepare something considered. We also had to pass around a candle and blow it out in turns. I missed the point of the exorcise. Instead of writing the expected along the lines of condemnations disguised as sorrow (something like “Oh,if only she had acted as if instead of acting out blah-blah blah”) I did mine wrong. I wrote something real into expressing the probable sentiments of the “hypothetical” panegyrist’s true laments. That didn’t go over well.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on January 05, 2011, 09:00:20 AM
Quote
The I Want to Live propheet

Pillow Pounding   Students are separated into groups of 5 or 6. One at a time each student had to be up on their hands and knees with the rest of their group surrounding them in a circle. The rest of the group pushed down on their back while the student had to push to stay up. Then they placed a pillow in front of them and the student had to repeatedly "pound" the pillow.

I remember who put weight on my back 17 years later.  What are children supposed to do because they cannot split?  There were people so psychologically damaged (myself) before going to RMA, that I was susceptible to brainwashing.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: TheIntegrity! on February 23, 2011, 12:47:09 PM
The lifeboat experience was so disturbing! I wanted to tell the staff to go die. I wish i could go back to Monarch, since i am older now and let the staff know how I really feel  :twofinger: .     It sucks knowing that that the staff who ran these workshops have no trouble getting to sleep at night and view themselves as great people doing  the world a invaluable service. Tim Earle was the most egotistical bastard ever. He once force a kid in group to run in place and yell for 15 minutes in front of like 20 people. Of course, this isn't wrong because tim was just trying to help the poor kid " get into his feelings".
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: lifeboat on February 23, 2011, 10:23:25 PM
It took me many years to understand their actions were wrong.
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: drewtheemt on October 19, 2011, 12:35:56 PM
I worked at the "Monarch Hell" from Day 1 (My Picture was on the wall, arm in arm in front of the Uhaul truck) before that CEDU. First a quick Summary.....
It cost  me 2 homes ,  A marriage and years of true emotional Constipation.
I transported children for Bill Lane and Assoc. For Years as well, I used to say "I am saving lives" But that was Bullshit! I was making money period. Students and Staff know me personally. Pat , Tim ,Ron, Steve , Dave, Chuck from the Monarch Hell. As for CEDU Ascent
Brian , Larry, Trilby ,Steve and Dave(again) and Countless other educated derelicts.
These programs promote love and say to themselves "we are saving lives" truth is
MONEY! They want lots of it and pay their people (staff) as little as possible.
I used to tell the kids having a hard time "don't trade a lesser positive for a greater negative"
Meaning don't get sent away to a wilderness or lock down facilty. But really was telling myself that. I focused on building relationships with the students and stayed true to them. Even after monarch and CEDU they stayed in touch with me. Hell even had a wonderful relationship with a wonderful young lady ( she was 21) and got scolded for that....
Funny thing ..... my life didn't get better till I stopped working for these places
I changed my priorities to Family first, Work second , Me third.
And to be completely HONEST , Good bad or Ugly....

Now for all the young adults who have endured their own personal Hells....
Choices got you to these programs period. you were doing drugs, being disobiendant
And disrespectful to your parents ,so on and so on...
Now for all the Parents who their kids put them through hell.....
Step up be a parent, take time off from work( we all know your spending $$THOUSANDS A MONTH to Send them Away $$ spend time with your CHANGING teen
Discover who they are not what you want them to BE!!! And who knows you might actually start to like your Child again!!! And they might actually start to respect you again.... Sounds Simple CAUSE IT IS.........YOU MAKE IT HARD NOT THE CHILDREN!!!!!

Now for the Parents who Adopt......
This is going to hurt ........
You fall in love with the idea of a lovely little baby
Then the child grows up has issues of "Self"
You in turn can't answer their questions Honestly
Cause your to proud to admit selfishness
( you couldn't have children so you chose to Adopt so you could feel whole)
Now your Adopted child is dealing with a influx of emotions , questions like why did my mom give me up? And in their TIME OF NEED what do you do SEND THEM AWAY to emotional growth boarding school...... YOU ARE THE PROBLEM

Now as for who I am ........ You know who I am
I outfitted Every Kid At Ascent, Famous or Discreet
I've woke you at 4 in the morning and traveled cross country
You've seen my flashlight in the dark of night
I've made you breakfast for years
And made you use "coulds and woulds"

As for the Staff of all these places " the Most Disfunctional worthless people I've ever had to Endure, Everyone I ever have gotten to know through these places are Absolutely MENTAL
Even I would go as far as saying Brainwashed......






 



It came down to HONESTY live HONESTLY
Title: Re: CEDU lifeboat
Post by: drewtheemt on October 19, 2011, 12:37:30 PM
I worked at the "Monarch Hell" from Day 1 (My Picture was on the wall, arm in arm in front of the Uhaul truck) before that CEDU. First a quick Summary.....
It cost  me 2 homes ,  A marriage and years of true emotional Constipation.
I transported children for Bill Lane and Assoc. For Years as well, I used to say "I am saving lives" But that was Bullshit! I was making money period. Students and Staff know me personally. Pat , Tim ,Ron, Steve , Dave, Chuck from the Monarch Hell. As for CEDU Ascent
Brian , Larry, Trilby ,Steve and Dave(again) and Countless other educated derelicts.
These programs promote love and say to themselves "we are saving lives" truth is
MONEY! They want lots of it and pay their people (staff) as little as possible.
I used to tell the kids having a hard time "don't trade a lesser positive for a greater negative"
Meaning don't get sent away to a wilderness or lock down facilty. But really was telling myself that. I focused on building relationships with the students and stayed true to them. Even after monarch and CEDU they stayed in touch with me. Hell even had a wonderful relationship with a wonderful young lady ( she was 21) and got scolded for that....
Funny thing ..... my life didn't get better till I stopped working for these places
I changed my priorities to Family first, Work second , Me third.
And to be completely HONEST , Good bad or Ugly....

Now for all the young adults who have endured their own personal Hells....
Choices got you to these programs period. you were doing drugs, being disobiendant
And disrespectful to your parents ,so on and so on...
Now for all the Parents who their kids put them through hell.....
Step up be a parent, take time off from work( we all know your spending $$THOUSANDS A MONTH to Send them Away $$ spend time with your CHANGING teen
Discover who they are not what you want them to BE!!! And who knows you might actually start to like your Child again!!! And they might actually start to respect you again.... Sounds Simple CAUSE IT IS.........YOU MAKE IT HARD NOT THE CHILDREN!!!!!

Now for the Parents who Adopt......
This is going to hurt ........
You fall in love with the idea of a lovely little baby
Then the child grows up has issues of "Self"
You in turn can't answer their questions Honestly
Cause your to proud to admit selfishness
( you couldn't have children so you chose to Adopt so you could feel whole)
Now your Adopted child is dealing with a influx of emotions , questions like why did my mom give me up? And in their TIME OF NEED what do you do SEND THEM AWAY to emotional growth boarding school...... YOU ARE THE PROBLEM

Now as for who I am ........ You know who I am
I outfitted Every Kid At Ascent, Famous or Discreet
I've woke you at 4 in the morning and traveled cross country
You've seen my flashlight in the dark of night
I've made you breakfast for years
And made you use "coulds and woulds"

As for the Staff of all these places " the Most Disfunctional worthless people I've ever had to Endure, Everyone I ever have gotten to know through these places are Absolutely MENTAL
Even I would go as far as saying Brainwashed......






 



It came down to HONESTY live HONESTLY