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CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / rma 90-93
« on: May 29, 2006, 09:40:00 PM »
Well, I appreciate your response, and I can see how some people may feel that way. However, POINT-BY-POINT:
1. I developed extremely strong friendships while I was at RMA that were completely void of any judgements or "terms". That is in stark contrast to the friendships I had before where my "friends" were the cause of more problems than they helped me with. I couldn't EVER share actual feelings with someone in high school (I'm sure that would quickly get you labeled "fag" or something along those lines). Furthermore, while I can't speak for anyone other than myself, I NEVER verbally abuses, bullied, humiliated, or spied on my friends. I have no doubt that there were those who did those kinds of things, but I can honestly say I wasn't one of them--which is probably why I can also say that my friendships were as strong as they were.
2. As to your third sentence of this paragraph, a word of advice: stick to what you know from your own experiences rather than basing your beliefs on what someone else is telling you. But to answer your points, I can agree with some and disagree with others. There were definitely some staff who were way more fucked up than any of the students and probably shouldn't have been let within a mile of any school, let alone act as counselors. On the other hand (and I hope you can at least admit this), there were some other staff that honestly and truly cared very deeply about the students, and it was from them that I took what I could. The others I pretty much ignored as much as possible. I never had a staff regale me with stories of fucking animals or raping girls or rubbing shit all over themselves, so I can't really respond to that one. I can tell you that I have a degree in psychology, and I know plenty about "basic tenets of therapy".
I agree that many students probably felt that they needed to make up or exaggerate their past. I don't agree that they all did that for the same reasons. Some did it to "fit it". Some for acceptance, as weird as that sounds. Others to get the staff off their backs. And some people really DID have that much fucked up shit in their past that you can't help but think, "this guy's GOTTA be making this up". That doesn't mean it wasn't true. For my part, I had issues that I had no idea how they had impacted me until I took an honest look at them MYSELF, not because I was trying to look good for the staff. And when I did, I realized how those things had affected me for years without knowing it. This wasn't the staff telling me this, this is what I found out for myself.
As for those who are still living with some label years later, I truly feel sorry for them. Whether that's the program's fault or their own for holding onto it, I can't say. And I really don't think you can, either.
3. See point #1 above: I really don't feel that I ever participated in putting people down, badgering, swearing at, haranguing, and humiliating others. I'm certainly not going to try to tell you that it didn't happen--but then again, that goes on at every single school across the country every day, doesn't it? You ever see high school (or even worse, middle school) kids today??? You think the treament at CEDU is bad? Are you serious?
But to answer your point, yes, I did learn to communicate better.
4. I felt no shame, so I don't really have much to say about this one.
Now, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: I'm not on here to defend CEDU or the staff or any of the things that went on at the schools. As I said in my last post, I think it seems obvious that the place started to get pretty fucked up. What I am saying is that it's a pretty poor argument to cover ALL of the staff, ALL of the students, and ALL of the schools with blanket statements. It's clear to me that some people did not benefit from their experiences there (but again, I wonder how much better they'd fare at some of the public schools I've seen). But I think it's very closed-minded to not be able to accept that there were many others who were able to get something positive. Again, I'm not "Mr. CEDU" here. I had lots of disagreements with the way some things were handled and some of the ridiculous rules, and numerous other things that I could talk about. However, I choose to not dwell on that shit. Why would I want to go through my life thinking about negative crap that really isn't important anymore? As with anything in life, take what from it what you can and what can make you a stronger, better person, and forget about the rest. It really is that simple.
1. I developed extremely strong friendships while I was at RMA that were completely void of any judgements or "terms". That is in stark contrast to the friendships I had before where my "friends" were the cause of more problems than they helped me with. I couldn't EVER share actual feelings with someone in high school (I'm sure that would quickly get you labeled "fag" or something along those lines). Furthermore, while I can't speak for anyone other than myself, I NEVER verbally abuses, bullied, humiliated, or spied on my friends. I have no doubt that there were those who did those kinds of things, but I can honestly say I wasn't one of them--which is probably why I can also say that my friendships were as strong as they were.
2. As to your third sentence of this paragraph, a word of advice: stick to what you know from your own experiences rather than basing your beliefs on what someone else is telling you. But to answer your points, I can agree with some and disagree with others. There were definitely some staff who were way more fucked up than any of the students and probably shouldn't have been let within a mile of any school, let alone act as counselors. On the other hand (and I hope you can at least admit this), there were some other staff that honestly and truly cared very deeply about the students, and it was from them that I took what I could. The others I pretty much ignored as much as possible. I never had a staff regale me with stories of fucking animals or raping girls or rubbing shit all over themselves, so I can't really respond to that one. I can tell you that I have a degree in psychology, and I know plenty about "basic tenets of therapy".
I agree that many students probably felt that they needed to make up or exaggerate their past. I don't agree that they all did that for the same reasons. Some did it to "fit it". Some for acceptance, as weird as that sounds. Others to get the staff off their backs. And some people really DID have that much fucked up shit in their past that you can't help but think, "this guy's GOTTA be making this up". That doesn't mean it wasn't true. For my part, I had issues that I had no idea how they had impacted me until I took an honest look at them MYSELF, not because I was trying to look good for the staff. And when I did, I realized how those things had affected me for years without knowing it. This wasn't the staff telling me this, this is what I found out for myself.
As for those who are still living with some label years later, I truly feel sorry for them. Whether that's the program's fault or their own for holding onto it, I can't say. And I really don't think you can, either.
3. See point #1 above: I really don't feel that I ever participated in putting people down, badgering, swearing at, haranguing, and humiliating others. I'm certainly not going to try to tell you that it didn't happen--but then again, that goes on at every single school across the country every day, doesn't it? You ever see high school (or even worse, middle school) kids today??? You think the treament at CEDU is bad? Are you serious?
But to answer your point, yes, I did learn to communicate better.
4. I felt no shame, so I don't really have much to say about this one.
Now, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: I'm not on here to defend CEDU or the staff or any of the things that went on at the schools. As I said in my last post, I think it seems obvious that the place started to get pretty fucked up. What I am saying is that it's a pretty poor argument to cover ALL of the staff, ALL of the students, and ALL of the schools with blanket statements. It's clear to me that some people did not benefit from their experiences there (but again, I wonder how much better they'd fare at some of the public schools I've seen). But I think it's very closed-minded to not be able to accept that there were many others who were able to get something positive. Again, I'm not "Mr. CEDU" here. I had lots of disagreements with the way some things were handled and some of the ridiculous rules, and numerous other things that I could talk about. However, I choose to not dwell on that shit. Why would I want to go through my life thinking about negative crap that really isn't important anymore? As with anything in life, take what from it what you can and what can make you a stronger, better person, and forget about the rest. It really is that simple.