Show Posts
1
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / What Kids Say
« on: March 22, 2004, 01:37:00 PM »
What you say makes sense though I have never heard of the Stockholm Syndrome. You are right when you say that the staff began to replace the place of my mother. We really had no choice since all communication with the outside world was controlled by these same staff members. Every telephone call that we made was monitored. When I returned home and began telling my mother what went on there she was outraged. Her next question to me was to ask why I never told her any of this from the beginning, during our telephone conversations. This question seems to be typical of people who are looking at these institutions from the outside. They don't understand that all communication is monitored (both telephone calls and letters). It was easier to tell her that everything was going well than face being punished for telling the truth. The other part of not telling the truth is that after a while the truth seemed to change. I know this will sound strange, but being in an oppressed situation became a way of life. We new nothing else and so came to expect nothing better. There was the flip side of this as well. The staff for the most part were extremely nurturing. You have to understand that most kids in the school came from families that were often too caught up their professional and social lives to give much thought to their children. Most of us went home everyday to a house void of parents with only some sort of domestic staff to fill that void. So to be in a situation that gave us more attention than we had ever known was sort of nice. We finally had someone in our lives that seemed to replace that nurturing we were not receiving at home. I guess what I am trying to say is that there was a feeling of family at this school. It just wasn't unconditional. You were always aware that the tormenting and abuse were right around the corner.
Melissa
> Melissa,
> I am curious about your statement saying
> that you developed a dependency to the staff.
> I have read about kids who are in abusive situations
> developing something called the Stockholm Syndrome.
> This is what they say Patty Hurst had. You bond
> to the abuser and try to please him. Lots of these
> behavior modification schools try to make the
> children detach from their parents by cutting
> off all communication and belittling them. They
> break them down to build them up. Unfortunately,
> with children, they remain broken down. The abuser
> then becomes like a parent. Having been in a situation
> like this, what are your feelings? Have you heard
> of this? Do you think there is any validity to
> this theory. No one knows better than a past student.
> Some call it brain washing. I don't know what
> to think.
> Donna
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Responses
(There are no responses to this message.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post a New Response
NOTE: To post, you must enter your full name (first and last names) in the "Your Name" box below, and your email address in the "email" box. Posts made without a name or email address will be deleted without comment or notice. You are welcome to identify yourself as a representative of an organization, but you must also enter your full name. We invite discussion and differing opinions, but only by parties willing to be responsible for those opinions.
NOTE: We have recently deleted many posts that did not conform to this policy, and will continue to do so. Please help us out with this. Thank you. Your Name:
E-Mail Address:
Subject:
Message:
> Donna,
> What you say makes sense though I have never
> heard of the Stockholm Syndrome. You are right
> when you say that the staff began to replace the
> place of my mother. We really had no choice since
> all communication with the outside world was controlled
> by these same staff members. Every telephone call
> that we made was monitored. When I returned home
> and began telling my mother what went on there
> she was outraged. Her next question to me was
> to ask why I never told her any of this from the
> beginning, during our telephone conversations.
> This question seems to be typical of people who
> are looking at these institutions from the outside.
> They don't understand that all communication is
> monitored (both telephone calls and letters).
> It was easier to tell her that everything was
> going well than face being punished for telling
> the truth. The other part of not telling the truth
> is that after a while the truth seemed to change.
> I know this will sound strange, but being in an
> oppressed situation became a way of life. We new
> nothing else and so came to expect nothing better.
> There was the flip side of this as well. The staff
> for the most part were extremely nurturing. You
> have to understand that most kids in the school
> came from families that were often too caught
> up their professional and social lives to give
> much thought to their children. Most of us went
> home everyday to a house void of parents with
> only some sort of domestic staff to fill that
> void. So to be in a situation that gave us more
> attention than we had ever known was sort of nice.
> We finally had someone in our lives that seemed
> to replace that nurturing we were not receiving
> at home. I guess what I am trying to say is that
> there was a feeling of family at this school.
> It just wasn't unconditional. You were always
> aware that the tormenting and abuse were right
> around the corner.
> Melissa
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you'd like to include a link to another page with your message,
please provide both the URL address and the title of the page:
Optional Link URL:
Optional Link Title:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you'd like e-mail notification of responses, please check this box:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: By clicking either button below, you are agreeing that you
have read and understand the rules and guidelines of this board.
Melissa
> Melissa,
> I am curious about your statement saying
> that you developed a dependency to the staff.
> I have read about kids who are in abusive situations
> developing something called the Stockholm Syndrome.
> This is what they say Patty Hurst had. You bond
> to the abuser and try to please him. Lots of these
> behavior modification schools try to make the
> children detach from their parents by cutting
> off all communication and belittling them. They
> break them down to build them up. Unfortunately,
> with children, they remain broken down. The abuser
> then becomes like a parent. Having been in a situation
> like this, what are your feelings? Have you heard
> of this? Do you think there is any validity to
> this theory. No one knows better than a past student.
> Some call it brain washing. I don't know what
> to think.
> Donna
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Responses
(There are no responses to this message.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post a New Response
NOTE: To post, you must enter your full name (first and last names) in the "Your Name" box below, and your email address in the "email" box. Posts made without a name or email address will be deleted without comment or notice. You are welcome to identify yourself as a representative of an organization, but you must also enter your full name. We invite discussion and differing opinions, but only by parties willing to be responsible for those opinions.
NOTE: We have recently deleted many posts that did not conform to this policy, and will continue to do so. Please help us out with this. Thank you. Your Name:
E-Mail Address:
Subject:
Message:
> Donna,
> What you say makes sense though I have never
> heard of the Stockholm Syndrome. You are right
> when you say that the staff began to replace the
> place of my mother. We really had no choice since
> all communication with the outside world was controlled
> by these same staff members. Every telephone call
> that we made was monitored. When I returned home
> and began telling my mother what went on there
> she was outraged. Her next question to me was
> to ask why I never told her any of this from the
> beginning, during our telephone conversations.
> This question seems to be typical of people who
> are looking at these institutions from the outside.
> They don't understand that all communication is
> monitored (both telephone calls and letters).
> It was easier to tell her that everything was
> going well than face being punished for telling
> the truth. The other part of not telling the truth
> is that after a while the truth seemed to change.
> I know this will sound strange, but being in an
> oppressed situation became a way of life. We new
> nothing else and so came to expect nothing better.
> There was the flip side of this as well. The staff
> for the most part were extremely nurturing. You
> have to understand that most kids in the school
> came from families that were often too caught
> up their professional and social lives to give
> much thought to their children. Most of us went
> home everyday to a house void of parents with
> only some sort of domestic staff to fill that
> void. So to be in a situation that gave us more
> attention than we had ever known was sort of nice.
> We finally had someone in our lives that seemed
> to replace that nurturing we were not receiving
> at home. I guess what I am trying to say is that
> there was a feeling of family at this school.
> It just wasn't unconditional. You were always
> aware that the tormenting and abuse were right
> around the corner.
> Melissa
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you'd like to include a link to another page with your message,
please provide both the URL address and the title of the page:
Optional Link URL:
Optional Link Title:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you'd like e-mail notification of responses, please check this box:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: By clicking either button below, you are agreeing that you
have read and understand the rules and guidelines of this board.