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Messages - Fran

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The Seed Discussion Forum / Did the seed introduce us to a higher power?
« on: January 22, 2005, 08:15:00 PM »
Yes, Anon, I remember we would sing Jingle Bells, yell out "We sing Jingle Bells because everyday we are straight it is feels just like Christmas" and then close with the Lords Prayer...honestly it was the best time of the whole day for me because then we were finally leaving for the night. The energy level was always very high at that time of night because everyone was ready to leave for awhile.
I find it very interesting that Greg and Cyndi both do not remember this part. Again maybe because it wasn't important to them or they blocked it out.
Oh yeah...if I remember correctly...Anon help me was the only time that we all held hands...the guys and chicks held hands...I remember this because usually I never sat on the end but once I did and held this guys hand and all kind of things went thru my head at that point. Just another recollection that came to mind.[ This Message was edited by: Fran on 2005-01-22 17:20 ]

The Seed Discussion Forum / Did the seed introduce us to a higher power?
« on: January 22, 2005, 12:55:00 PM »
The reason I remember that we said the Lords Prayer is how we held hands when we said it...and years later when I went to church we would do the same thing and it brought back the memory of doing it at the seed.
Thank you for backing me up on this Trucker and was not a figment of my imagination.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Did the seed introduce us to a higher power?
« on: January 21, 2005, 11:44:00 AM »
No I remember everynight holding hands and saying the Lords prayer this basically closed the meetings even the open meetings where the parents came in we did this...and also we did say the Serenity Prayer. This prayer I use today without thought of the seed. Also the mustard seed was a big thing...I remember buying a necklace of a mustard seed and wearing it.
Like I said, I was there full time other then school from Jan-April 73 then I was an oldtimer for a year in half...we also said the Lords Prayer after every oldtimer meeting.
This was in Ft Lauderdale on 84....maybe after that time things changed.[ This Message was edited by: Fran on 2005-01-21 08:49 ]

The Seed Discussion Forum / Did the seed introduce us to a higher power?
« on: January 20, 2005, 10:26:00 PM »
I had always thought that a higher power was God. And I do remember everynight to hold hands and say the Lords Prayer. I do not recall talking about religion or beliefs but I also do not recall religion,God or beliefs to be put down either. But again this was in 73-early 75...I do not know what happened later on.[ This Message was edited by: Fran on 2005-01-20 19:32 ]

The Seed Discussion Forum / A few questions from a Seed grad
« on: January 18, 2005, 09:39:00 PM »
Art Barker is alive from what I know and living somewhere in Ft Lauderdale.
The seed is no longer but there are programs that are very similiar to the seed...such as
Kids helping Kids in Ohio.
I don't know much about the Cleveland Seed but there are others on this forum that will be able to help you with those answers.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Happy Anniversary....
« on: January 16, 2005, 01:12:00 PM »
I truly wish I could find some of the friends I made namely my own newcomers that came into my house. I think of them from time to time and hope that one day somehow I will find them. We all bonded and became very close and I wish them all well and a happy life.
I am not sure if I am allowed to use last names here in this forum but if I am let me know and I will name them...of course they may be married and have different last names.
I had friends from St Pete, Fort Pierce, Fort Myers, New Smyrna Beach, Daytona Beach. We had kept in touch up into about our late teens and then I got married young and lost touch with them.
Otherwise thank you for well wishes...I know we all have different views on how the seed helped or didn't help us but I thinks somehow we all need to be at peace with where we are today. It is the made us in someways who we are...and this forum has made me think about how the seed effected my first marriage and it's possible demise...I married my high school sweetheart...I remember asking him while on my first date with him if he did drugs or drank...he did not. He was of all 16 years old unfortunately around the age of 19 he began to drink beer...he never ever did drugs but once he picked up the first beer he to this day has not been able to stop drinking. During the 9 years we were married I had major issues with this because of course with my conditioning and programming that drinking was wrong and no matter what I did or said husband denied his addiction. In fact when my daughter was 18 months old and we were walking down the block together she saw a beer can and pointed to it and said "DA DA" even in her young age she connected a beer can to her daddy.This had devastated me. I of course have been a staunch advocator against doing drugs or drinking (I am not talking about an occasional glass of wine or beer etc) I am speaking of a daily 3-8 glasses of alcohol a day or illegal drug substance.
Both my kids are grown now and they are aware of my feelings...I had told them when they were little of my past in the seed...and they are aware of the possibility of alcoholism in themselves. So yes the seed did change me but in a way that I feel saved my kids from doing what I had done. And that I have to say I am thankful for.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Happy Anniversary....
« on: January 15, 2005, 05:07:00 PM »
Thank you are probably the only person in 32 years that wished me that.
Peace and Love to you too!!

The Seed Discussion Forum / Happy Anniversary....
« on: January 15, 2005, 09:19:00 AM »
For what it is worth today...Jan 15th ...32 years ago I was put into the seed. I remember it like it was yesterday.
My father very uncomfortable with the idea of leaving his 13 year old daughter but my mother who was very much for it. They paid 300.00...I was stripped searched. I remember being introduced to the group and being shouted out "WE LOVE YOU" and then sitting on the front row...the rest of the day I have no memory of.
Every Jan 15th for the past 32 years I have remembered this day like no other. It changed my youth...for better or worse.
In some ways I can now share it with you all...because no one else in my life can understand how this day affected me one way or the other...
Thanks for being here!!

The Seed Discussion Forum / to Anon with Law Degree
« on: January 12, 2005, 01:44:00 PM »
I wish I would have known them the way you did. Marcy went to the same school as I and lunchtime was a rap session with Marcy leading the sessions and her making us feel inferior and paranoid that if we said the wrong thing the seed would know about it. I never felt comfortable with her nor Robin. If I have bad feelings for the seed it was unfortunately due to those 2 people. And maybe they were that way because of their issues with the seed. At this point in my life...I will let go and realize that they were victims as I was.

The Seed Discussion Forum / to Anon with Law Degree
« on: January 11, 2005, 12:59:00 PM »
To Anon:

Obviously you must have known the Robin I have mentioned...I am sorry to hear that she passed away.

The Seed Discussion Forum / to Anon with Law Degree
« on: January 10, 2005, 08:59:00 PM »
I definitely remember the guys saying things like
"I would have used you blah blah blah" to some girls that may have had an attitude or two. Fortunately I do not remember details or particulars...I was just happy that I was never the brunt of the "come downs".
At 400pm I remember the chicks had their raps and the guys had theirs...I do not know what the guys talked about and I honestly don't remember what the chicks talked about.
But I do remember one kid that got reemed out and thinking boy do I feel sorry for him.
The thing I remember the most that I hated was that there were a few oldtimers that seemed to have an ego problem and were stroked by the staff...this one girl her name was Robin basically thought her shit didn't stink ...and her best friend Marcy (I won't put last names) boy did they feel superior and they made me feel inferior. To the point that finally when I stopped going to the oldtimers meetings I felt so free of them and the looks I'd get that made me feel guilty even if I didn't do anything. If I ever ran into them today...I think I would tell them off!!

The Seed Discussion Forum / Sorry Folks, the Seed helped me!!!
« on: January 09, 2005, 09:05:00 PM »
What scares me is that there are places just like the seed or worse out there right now!!! Kids who are in these programs that will end up like us 30 years from now trying to figure out what happened to their youth.
Like that Kids Helping Kids program...and there is nothing we can do about it.  :scared:

The Seed Discussion Forum / Sorry Folks, the Seed helped me!!!
« on: January 08, 2005, 10:53:00 PM »
That was an interesting point Greg made...ironic that most of us were not addicts going into the seed but years later at least 1/2 have addiction problems. Or addictive personalities.
I think I remember the We love Art song but I have blocked out alot of stuff and only when I read about something here in this forum does it come back faintly.
Greg..I have a question? How wealthy did Art get off the seed?
Why did we say we love you to everyone? I remember saying that constantly to the point I was saying it to strangers...weird!! At times I don't want to remember these things that come to mind yet I can't stop reading everyones comments everyday. I think in ways I was more affected by the seed then I thought...why else have I blocked it out for so many years until now?

The Seed Discussion Forum / Sorry Folks, the Seed helped me!!!
« on: January 05, 2005, 12:07:00 PM »
Middle age??? That scares me more then being put back in the seed. Just kidding!! Got to lighten things up here.
I wish Jimmy nothing but the best...I am happy for him.
I have not had the horrific experiences some had in the seed. I entered Jan 15th, 73 and I played the game and went home 2 weeks later...and graduated about 3 1/2 months but stayed in oldtimers for about 2 years or so. I stayed straight for about 4 years and then began to drink etc. on a social basis only and experimented with speed and qualudes out of curiosity mostly from what I felt I missed out on after hearing everyone elses drugs of choice in the seed but I was the one that decided at a certain point that I needed to grow up and become responsible. I eventually quit smoking cigarettes and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle. When I went into the seed I went from one peer pressure into another. Did the seed really help me? I don't know...I think it just postponed the inevitable. I was the one in the end that had to make the decisions in my life which road I wanted to go down.
But it does sadden me that the seed did hurt so many kids and even 30 years later the hurt and anger is still there.  And for others as in Jimmy's case they are happy of the time they spent there. As for me I am indifferent about is a part of my life that is over I can't change it.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Fresh blood
« on: January 03, 2005, 01:04:00 PM »

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