Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

[ This Message was edited by: ? on 2005-06-15 00:54 ]

[ This Message was edited by: ? on 2005-06-15 00:51 ]

sometimes doing what is right is opening our mouth to shine light into dark areas, not to point fingers, for we all are guilty in some ways of offending and causing others to stumble, but to speak the light/truth,  so as to help others see better and discern between what is safe or unsafe. If we have been doing this to the best of our abilities, God sees it and knows it, and he is glad we are out to shed light into the dark places and expose the evil for what it is, and help set others free with the truth.

Shooting the wounded---- Wounded hearts cry, and the wounded tend to cause the most discomfort to those of us who want to help but feel powerless and therefore want not to hear the hurt.

[ This Message was edited by: ? on 2005-06-15 00:58 ]

http://samvak.tripod.com/trauma.html

this is an interesting piece that i have been chewing on, the process of healing and grieving in a world that does not know how to respond in a way that will be productive to healing.

I paste in some of what it says:

We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu.
It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the traumatizing events - society demonstrates a diametrically opposed progression. This incompatibility, this mismatch of psychological phases is what leads to the formation and crystallization of trauma.

PHASE I
Victim phase I - DENIAL


The magnitude of such unfortunate events is often so overwhelming, their nature so alien, and their message so menacing - that denial sets in as a defence mechanism aimed at self preservation. The victim denies that the event occurred, that he or she is being abused, that a loved one passed away.


Society phase I - ACCEPTANCE, MOVING ON


The victim's nearest ("Society") - his colleagues, his employees, his clients, even his spouse, children, and friends - rarely experience the events with the same shattering intensity. They are likely to accept the bad news and move on. Even at their most considerate and empathic, they are likely to lose patience with the victim's state of mind. They tend to ignore the victim, or chastise him, to mock, or to deride his feelings or behaviour, to collude to repress the painful memories, or to trivialize them.


Summary Phase I
The mismatch between the victim's reactive patterns and emotional needs and society's matter-of-fact attitude hinders growth and healing. The victim requires society's help in avoiding a head-on confrontation with a reality he cannot digest. Instead, society serves as a constant and mentally destabilizing reminder of the root of the victim's unbearable agony (the Job syndrome).


PHASE II

Victim phase II - HELPLESSNESS


Denial gradually gives way to a sense of all-pervasive and humiliating helplessness, often accompanied by debilitating fatigue and mental disintegration. These are among the classic symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). These are the bitter results of the internalization and integration of the harsh realization that there is nothing one can do to alter the outcomes of a natural, or man-made, catastrophe. The horror in confronting one's finiteness, meaninglessness, negligibility, and powerlessness - is overpowering.


Society phase II - DEPRESSION

The more the members of society come to grips with the magnitude of the loss, or evil, or threat represented by the grief inducing events - the sadder they become. Depression is often little more than suppressed or self-directed anger. The anger, in this case, is belatedly induced by an identified or diffuse source of threat, or of evil, or loss. It is a higher level variant of the "fight or flight" reaction, tampered by the rational understanding that the "source" is often too abstract to tackle directly.


Summary Phase II

Thus, when the victim is most in need, terrified by his helplessness and adrift - society is immersed in depression and unable to provide a holding and supporting environment. Growth and healing is again retarded by social interaction. The victim's innate sense of annulment is enhanced by the self-addressed anger (=depression) of those around him.


PHASE III

Both the victim and society react with RAGE to their predicaments. In an effort to narcissistically reassert himself, the victim develops a grandiose sense of anger directed at paranoidally selected, unreal, diffuse, and abstract targets (=frustration sources). By expressing aggression, the victim re-acquires mastery of the world and of himself.

Members of society use rage to re-direct the root cause of their depression (which is, as we said, self directed anger) and to channel it safely. To ensure that this expressed aggression alleviates their depression - real targets must are selected and real punishments meted out. In this respect, "social rage" differs from the victim's. The former is intended to sublimate aggression and channel it in a socially acceptable manner - the latter to reassert narcissistic self-love as an antidote to an all-devouring sense of helplessness.

In other words, society, by itself being in a state of rage, positively enforces the narcissistic rage reactions of the grieving victim. This, in the long run, is counter-productive, inhibits personal growth, and prevents healing. It also erodes the reality test of the victim and encourages self-delusions, paranoidal ideation, and ideas of reference.


PHASE IV

Victim Phase IV - DEPRESSION

As the consequences of narcissistic rage - both social and personal - grow more unacceptable, depression sets in. The victim internalizes his aggressive impulses. Self directed rage is safer but is the cause of great sadness and even suicidal ideation. The victim's depression is a way of conforming to social norms. It is also instrumental in ridding the victim of the unhealthy residues of narcissistic regression. It is when the victim acknowledges the malignancy of his rage (and its anti-social nature) that he adopts a depressive stance.


Society Phase IV - HELPLESSNESS

People around the victim ("society") also emerge from their phase of rage transformed. As they realize the futility of their rage, they feel more and more helpless and devoid of options. They grasp their limitations and the irrelevance of their good intentions. They accept the inevitability of loss and evil and Kafkaesquely agree to live under an ominous cloud of arbitrary judgement, meted out by impersonal powers.


Summary Phase IV

Again, the members of society are unable to help the victim to emerge from a self-destructive phase. His depression is enhanced by their apparent helplessness. Their introversion and inefficacy induce in the victim a feeling of nightmarish isolation and alienation. Healing and growth are once again retarded or even inhibited.


PHASE V

Victim Phase V - ACCEPTANCE AND MOVING ON

Depression - if pathologically protracted and in conjunction with other mental health problems - sometimes leads to suicide. But more often, it allows the victim to process mentally hurtful and potentially harmful material and paves the way to acceptance. Depression is a laboratory of the psyche. Withdrawal from social pressures enables the direct transformation of anger into other emotions, some of them otherwise socially unacceptable. The honest encounter between the victim and his own (possible) death often becomes a cathartic and self-empowering inner dynamic. The victim emerges ready to move on.


Society Phase V - DENIAL

Society, on the other hand, having exhausted its reactive arsenal - resorts to denial. As memories fade and as the victim recovers and abandons his obsessive-compulsive dwelling on his pain - society feels morally justified to forget and forgive. This mood of historical revisionism, of moral leniency, of effusive forgiveness, of re-interpretation, and of a refusal to remember in detail - leads to a repression and denial of the painful events by society.


Summary Phase V

This final mismatch between the victim's emotional needs and society's reactions is less damaging to the victim. He is now more resilient, stronger, more flexible, and more willing to forgive and forget. Society's denial is really a denial of the victim. But, having ridden himself of more primitive narcissistic defences - the victim can do without society's acceptance, approval, or look. Having endured the purgatory of grieving, he has now re-acquired his self, independent of society's acknowledgement.
________________________________________

(((((((((((((((Rebekah Sisters Survivors))))))))))))))



holdin you in my heart, here and caring...

it matters , it simply matters, YOU matter....
they matter, we all matter.

GentleStormi

Hi


I had put that stuff up on here, cause i see its need to be displayed,

had you had been given such a listing and information of these things before you went to palmers or during your stay there, you would have been given a ticket to emotional freedom from tyrant palmer.

knowledge empowers us to break free of the tyranny of the Oppressors. All cults greatly dislike freethinking and searching for knowledge, and they control how much thier victms hear, and what they hear, it is the controlling of information, that along with the tight control of behavior that is the same thing that happened to POW's in Korean War. It was termed "brainwashign" in September 1950, for the first time. By Edward Hunter in the Miami DailyNews.

Although studies have proven that this form of brainwashing may through coerciveness alter behavoir in victims, these studies have shown that it is ineffective in changing inner  convictions deep in the heart and psyche of individuals. i.e. studies prove that coercive controlling of victims does not change the persons inner convictions, and that POW's who survived, only altered behavior until they were free, and then went back to behaving in congruency to thier inner convictions.

i hate what he did to you, and he did it in the name of God. i guess that is what makes me the most upset. That they make it all seem like God was in on these things. I am glad you are a true survivor and are free of the tyranny from palmer...



Gods Peace to you

a friend,


  ::cheers::

Check out webpage below in www link:
[ This Message was edited by: GentleStormi on 2006-02-08 12:06 ]

http://www1.umn.edu/humanrts/instree/k2crc.htm


Convention on the Rights of the Child, G.A. res. 44/25, annex, 44 U.N. GAOR Supp. (No. 49) at 167, U.N. Doc. A/44/49 (1989), entered into force Sept. 2 1990.
---------------------------------------------

http://www.freethechildren.org/youthina ... tified.htm

This is the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
   
   
195 States have ratified the Convention on the Rights of the Child. Only two more States are left ? Somalia and the USA - making the UNCRC the first nearly universally ratified human rights treaty in history!

Somalia - Ratification of the Convention on the Rights of the Child is not possible at this time. Somalia does not currently have an internationally recognized government.

USA ? the USA has signed, but not ratified.
The US position on the Convention is best summed up by the Deputy Assistant Secretary of State, who stated: "It is misleading and inappropriate to use the Convention as a litmus test to measure a nation's commitment to children. As a non-party to the Convention, the United States does not accept obligations based on it, nor do we accept that it is the best or only framework for developing programs and policies to benefit children."

The US holds the above position on the Convention for a number of reasons:

Parental Authority - It is believed that the convention will undermine parental authority, interfere with parents' ability to raise and discipline their children, and make the rights of children more important than the rights of parents. In reality, the convention repeatedly refers to the importance of the parent-child relationship, and requires governments to respect the rights and duties of parents.
The Death Penalty - The Convention prohibits the use of the death penalty for offenses committed by persons under the age of 18. However, twenty-five U.S. states allow executions of juvenile offenders, and as of July 1, 2001, there were eighty-five juvenile offenders on death row in the United States. In the last five years, eight executions of juvenile offenders were carried out in the United States.
Issue of Rights - Traditionally, the US has recognized civil and political rights (such as the rights to expression, assembly and due process), but not economic, social and cultural rights (such as the right to education, health care and an adequate standard of living). The Convention includes both.
Issue of Jurisdiction - The US argues that many of the issues addressed by the Convention lie primarily within the jurisdiction of the states, rather than the federal government. For example, in the United States, individual states are responsible for education, and for setting laws related to the administration of juvenile justice. Federalism in the U.S. should not necessarily be an obstacle to ratifying the Convention. Other countries with federal systems have ratified the Convention, including Brazil, Germany and Mexico.
 
================================================

On December 10, 1948 the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted and proclaimed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights the full text of which appears in the following pages. Following this historic act the Assembly called upon all Member countries to publicize the text of the Declaration and "to cause it to be disseminated, displayed, read and expounded principally in schools and other educational institutions, without distinction based on the political status of countries or territories."
http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html


concerning foriegn children too:
http://www.amnestyusa.org/children/index.do



[ This Message was edited by: ? on 2005-06-15 00:49 ]