Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

In the fall of 2009, the State of Oregon documented that Mount Bachelor Academy was routinely forcing youths to engage in sexual role play, specifically making young women dress in French maid outfits and do lap dances on male students as "therapy" for "promiscuity." Oregon DHS evaluated MBA's program, and determined that it fit the Oregon definition of child abuse--and they ordered the program closed.

MBA used the same program structure, supervision, and staff training as other Aspen facilities, and this is not an isolated incident of sexual abuse of children in programs.

Can you all assist me in developing a list of incidents of sexual abuse in programs? This might include anything from sexual assault, to peeping on students, to forcing students to discuss sexual experiences (especially in group settings).

If this topic raises distressing memories or makes you anxious, please take care of yourself and talk to a friend or skip reading this thread. I do not want to hurt anyone by asking these questions. It worries me that the trolls will try to de-legitimize this issue, and may launch personal attacks. I hope they will conduct themselves with more decency than that.

Auntie Em

Abuse is the harmful exercise of power.

In programs, staff have power over every aspect of the teens’ lives:
* Food, clothing, shelter
* Youth not permitted to leave campus
* Physical and mental health
* Education; intellectual freedom
* Religious/spiritual practice
* Books, newspapers, television, radio, Internet
* Relationships and sexuality
* Work tasks—chores, physical labor as punishment, or part-time employment—and earnings, if any
* Access to communication with family or advocates
* Civic involvement and political action
* And approval to graduate and leave

This is a recipe for the abusive exercise of power. For child molesters and bullies, this is a dream job.

Auntie Em

LOL. I didn't suggest the parents were getting the nice cash bonus--that goes to the fat cats at the corporations who run the programs, cracking a nice bottle of bubbly and toasting the multi-billion dollar profits they rake in from this industry. The parents, sadly, are getting fleeced.  

So what did your parents pay, Suck It?

Thank you for defending me, Ursus.

You and I know her experience was not a one-off. For example, the experience of the other youths in her boarding school was similar (though not all parents were as fear-stricken and gullible as hers). And I have personally spoken with at least a half dozen young people from various programs whose families were torn apart for a similar period of time and for a similar highway-robbery price tag.

As with so many of the cases, the parents were first persuaded to buy in to a short-term wilderness program--only a few weeks. Then that program referred her to a boarding school, which was only to be for a few months. Every few months we were told the program was working very well and she would be coming home soon--this spring, next fall, before her birthday, after this school year, very soon... In this manner, a few weeks' stay in a wilderness program grew into a 40-month marathon. No, she is not some horrible, defective person who would not work the program--she's a very perceptive girl who knew full well her ordeal was a sham.

My heart goes out to parents who are worried sick about the risk-taking behavior or poor academic performance of their teens. I understand the desire to stop the cycle of fear and find some peace, and I am deeply concerned and offended that programs take advantage of this vulnerability to stoke their fears and lift their wallets.    

Auntie Em

My niece attended a wilderness program and therapeutic boarding school 2006-2009--very "reputable" big-name programs which we were told were "the best." They did nothing to help her with her learning disabilities, and created an unusually dependent young woman who relies on her parents for every dime and nearly every decision.

Coming home was always presented as being just around the corner--this spring, well maybe this summer, no wait, maybe October, oh well she's having anger issues, maybe in the spring--and on and on and on and on and on. In the end, she was kept from ALL of her family except parents, including siblings, for more than 3 years. No letters, phone calls or visits. She was not even permitted to come home for the funeral of a family member she adored.

The experience ripped our family apart. The years of threats and accusations and resentments by her parents toward anyone who questioned them will not likely ever be repaired.

There's no "used to be bad" about these programs. They are abusive by their very design. The State of Oregon agrees with me: in October they found that program methods at Mount Bachelor Academy met the Oregon definition of "child abuse"--methods used widely in programs across the country--and they shut the program down.

Don't be a fool. Parents and teens can and do survive the teen years together, at home, all the time. Repeat: You can and will survive this if you stick together as a family. Do not let a program rush you into a decision by stoking your fears.
 
Auntie Em

Ha! They go from occasional peer ridicule to incessant staff ridicule.

Auntie Em

Sorry, DDF, I don't quite understand your post...

(BTW, that's electrolyte's post, not mine about being a mom who sent a child.)

From what you all have told me over the years, electrolyte is correct that validating that abuse took place, and the teen did not do anything to deserve it, appears to be important to "waking up."
 
Auntie Em

I think it's vital that people can search a watch list, similar to the one ISAC maintained, and find warning signs. These were so important to me when I was first learning about this industry. Our competition is good at being there when someone is searching.

Auntie Em