Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Che,

I'm aware of the wrist locks.  No, I don't think it is fun for anyone who has been placed in such a hold.  I'm fully aware of what is involved.  I trained in martial arts for over 20 years and have been put into these holds literally thousands of times.  I've trained military, IRS armed field agents, Chicago Police, firemen, security, lots of professionals.  I'm fully aware of the pain that can be inflicted,  especially from novices that have not been properly trained or execute it poorly.  I don't condone it, I don't like it and yet I have mixed feelings about it in certain circumstances.

I understand that some individuals need to be restrained if they become violent.  I also understand that some staff members at CALO enjoy the power trip as well as inflicting pain on kids.  Do some kids need to be restrained, absolutely.  Do most kids at CALO need or deserve to be restrained, no, I don't think so.  I think most of these kids can be talked down.  However, many kids at CALO truly believe they are tough guys and come off that way to staff.  But it's just all an act.  Most of them are not real offenders and are just frightened, overindulged or confused kids that don't want to play by the grownups' rules.

From what I've seen at CALO, certain staff, not all, look for any reason to employ the joint locks.  I've even seen staff rough-housing with the kids and the kids thought they were just playing around, when the kids touched (not hit mind you) the staff, the staff got pissed and immediately took the kid down.  Remember, many of the staff are just kids themselves, not much older than the children.  You and I went to school with these types every day.  CALO has an incredible double standard when it comes to this type of behavior.  You and I both know if I did this to an adult, I'd go to jail for it.  However, the rules are different for minors.

While I've seen the double standard, I have not witnessed staff purposely and maliciously inflict pain for no reason.  But then again, who would in front of the parents.  I think this would be a very dangerous practice for the staff.  With that said, are you implying or telling me that pain is inflicted just for the sake of inflicting pain at CALO?  Also, do you know if the practice of restraining minors in a setting such as CALO is illegal in Missouri?  Moral issues aside, I don't know if there is really any legal thing that can be done about the restraints, unless you know something I don't.  If you are aware of some law or if someone is willing to come forward and testify that CALO routinely and for no reason inflicts pain on the children as part of their program, I would like to speak with them.  I am also of the opinion that there are much, much bigger issues at CALO other than the wrist locks.  While I do not like this practice, I just don't know what can be done about it.  But I am willing to listen and take action if you have a solution.

Being realistic, pain happens to people every day.  Part of life involves learning how to manage a certain degree of pain.  This is how small children learn not to touch hot stoves.  I've never met an individual that hasn't had to deal with some type of pain in their life.  I just don't think it is reasonably possible to insulate someone from the pain that life throws us, for their entire life.   Somewhere,  Somehow, Someone thought pain was a useful part of life, a necessary evil, kind of like the mosquito.  Again, I don't like it, would rather not have it in my life, and believe me I've had more than my share, but I don't know what you or I could ever do about it.  Sometimes there is good that comes from pain, if nothing else, something can be learned from it.  But then again, we are back to the 800lb gorilla argument.

Do I think Tom was scared shitless of CALO? I don't know.  Fear is an incredibly personal thing, some things I consider routine, scare the crap out of some and vice versa.  All I can say is that CALO reminded me of summer camp with a little extra trimmings.  From what I've seen and experienced, I believe hockey camp is a much tougher program, alot more pain, infinately cheaper and actually acheives its goals.

My issue with CALO goes way beyond the wrist locks.

Che,

Yes, we are hoping he chooses the right path because if he continues down this one, things will only get worse for him.   Things are not so bad right now that they can't be fixed.  But he needs to WANT to fix them.  That is unless he continues to make these mistakes.  People right now are still willing to forgive and I can virtually guarantee some flexibility with the people in charge.  They won't be so willing, soon, if they are continuously spat in the face.

We are hoping he comes to his senses before it is to late.  It may seem cool for the youth to fight authority, as evidenced by some of these posts, but we all know they are to young and haven't learned the right balance between liberty and order yet.  But they will all to soon.  If they push to far and piss off the wrong people in charge, you know what happens next, the 800lb gorilla comes down and smashes you flatter than hammered shit.

We can help repair this, but we need Toms help as well.

Sean

All I can confirm at this point is that we didn't have a say in the matter, somone else did.

I have a good guess at several resons why he ran, but only he knows for sure.

As far as "guest" I really don't care about his/her comments because I understand how many morons and idiots live in this world, and I stopped trying to figure out or negotiate with this kind of low life years ago.  But what I do care about is if this person has contact with Tom or if Tom does follow this idiots advice and he or someone else gets hurt in the process, guest will have to answer for that.

As long as guest knows the rules, consequences and what they might be in for, I can tolerate the dissent.

My 1st priority here is to locate Tom and get him home safely.

By the way, I've seen many postings where people use "guest" or some other anonymous name.  Do you have a way to track the ISP or email so if someone does actually post something that results in harm, they can be located?

Sean

Oscar,

OK I understand.  Please correct your information though.  Tom did not run while at his grandmothers address.  Tom ran from CALO when his grandmother came to Lake Ozark for a visit.  They were off campus though, but not at his grandmothers address.

Thank you,

Sean

My name is Sean, I am one of the legal guardians of Thomas Victor Riley.

Tom ran away from CALO on 6/7/09 while on an offsite visit with his grandmother.

If you have any information on his whereabouts, please contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children - www.missingkids.com or 1-800-THE-LOST.  Reference case number NCMC1131313,  or contact the Camden Co. Sheriff's office at (573) 346-2243.  Poster/picture is available on the above site.

Tom, if you are reading this, we love you, miss you and hope you are safe.  Please contact us and let us know you are OK.