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Topics - katfish

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76
For those of us who have struggled I felt it would be good to unify us a little bit.
If you want to meet like-minded alumni and no longer hide and remain annonymous please contact me at [email protected]

There's a group of us that are pretty cohesively united, but the more the merrier. Certainly linking some more former student together who feel MMS was harmful has been so helpful, especially for girls who have somewhat recently left MMS and still feel that fear and intimidation.  I can't express to those of you who understand how much of a differnce it can make to have even one girl say, 'yea, i felt the same way.'  Now imagine 5, 10, 20...It's a sight to behold!!  
 :nworthy:

Best to you all,  

Kat

77
Mission Mountain School / past forums
« on: April 30, 2005, 02:21:00 PM »
Hello everyone  :grin:

In case you all haven't seen these posts about MMS, they are kind of hard to find, here's a link to the forum, just do a search on 'Mission Mountain School' or MMS, lots of older alumni have posted and have some interesting perspectives to share. (including myself).

If anyone wishes to contact me, please feel free to do so at http://www.strugglingteens.com/cgi-bin/ ... ch_forum=6

Also see pages 2 and 3 esp.

http://www.strugglingteens.com/cgi-bin/ ... t_point=25

 :eek:

Interestingly the 'Alumni Perspectives' of the forum linked above has become 'read only'.  Not only that, on the parent forum mention of specific programs is not allowed.  
I know the moderator, Kristie Woodbury, who attended MMS at the same time I did, is an MMS alumnus who feels strongly the program was a success for her, as does her father, Lon Woodbury, who runs the entire site. I wonder why they shut down one of the few forums that allowed alumni the freedom to express and share their experiences.  Hmmm...  
Can anyone say, censorship?  
I am so thankful for this board!!![ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-04-30 13:03 ]

78
Mission Mountain School / Safe forum for support
« on: April 29, 2005, 09:12:00 PM »
E-mail [email protected]

Hi all,

I've created a forum that I thought might be useful for those of us that actually feel that MMS was not all that helpful for the purpose of offering one another support and care that perhaps we felt was lacking when we left.

MMS was such a unique place, few people can understand and certainly the nuances of John Mercer and day to day life there are not understood by anyone who has not experienced it. (In my experience)  I hope that those of you who want some support will write me so that you can sign onto this board and feel comfortable posting in a safe environment.

Best to all of you-
kat

[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-05-02 17:32 ][ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-05-02 18:05 ]

79
Mission Mountain School / MMS poll: Helpful or Harmful
« on: April 29, 2005, 08:58:00 PM »
http://fornits.com/wwf/polls.php?show=44

 :question:  :question:  :question:

80
Mission Mountain School / For Colleen Harrington
« on: April 29, 2005, 08:35:00 PM »
I hear Colleen likes to check up on these posts and even received a phone call from her several years back when my posting where much more frequent and descriptive of my experiences at MMS on the strugglingteens.com forum  In anycase, this is directed at her, in part.

Hi Colleen, I received your phone call and returned it, but never heard back.  I expect after reviewing my many posts you have a pretty substantive understanding what my position is on MMS.  In a nutshell, I found it an abusive institution, and to address you directly, I too found you to be abusive and at best, passive enough to allow your husband, John Mercer and Mike Finn, especially to become meglomaniacs  and run young women ragged to the point of emotional melt down.  Only to secure redevelopment according to Mercer and Finns ideals.  Strange association to some perhaps, but the heirarchical structure, domination, intimidation, isolation, all is, IMHO, contrary to growth and positive change.  The change sought seems to grow only out of an individuals own volition, not forceful change that occurs at MMS.  Words become meaningless and regurgitation ensues.  Minds filled with Mercer-isms.  Viola, her's your automotran formerly known as your daughter.  Until of course the real world is presented and does not fit into the picture Mercer and Finn taught you, taught me, to mimic.  And then everything falls apart, Colleen.  And you think you're doing  good to those girls who feel this way?  The ends justify the means, perhaps you think, but if only you  all of the ends, not just the one who say 'it worked!".
I would hope that one day soon the sate of MT recognizes the need for regulation of this 60 billion dollar a year industry- this is big business now- as a society we fail our children and send 'em away for others even less qualified to deal with them.  At 150,000/year/child at MMS- that's what, 1.5 million for 10 kids, you have 30-40 there approx. 4.5-6 million million a year coming in, I guess that's the right industry to be in, for a man to head a school with a Masters in Ecology, no PhD, nuthin'- I'm wondering what kind of crazed world we're living in?  It must be double the luxury having the kids do all the work to fix up the school, chop would for your own persoanl use, etc. sure the list goes on and on.  30 girls at your service...
That kind of money coming in really makes me ill.  I personally would not be able to live with myself, Colleen, how do you just stand by and justify the harm done, in your own mind...You have 2 children now, how can you bear to bring them into such an environment.
I understand Mike Finn's own son killed himself.  Of course I have no way of knowing what his relatinoship was with Mike and Deb after I left, but this too is still something to consider when both were hired to care for girls, some who were suicidal and yet they were unable to provide their own son with the care and services required.---NOTE: I was asked to remove this post, but have decided to edit it instead- as several girls pointed out and I would agree, this is a point that should be considered and made known to others.
Collen, you're heart may very well be in the right place, however  you and the founders of MMS began this program and seems to me built off Cross? Creek? and other other programs, making it your own but without the qualifications.  Gary maybe had the qualifications he has a PhD I believe, but everyone else did not.  Mike has I belive some certificate to be a rehab counselor- we were not a rehab however.  We were a  school that bullied girls into change.  It also seemed to me Gary was bullied around too, he would occasionally speak up and often frown at John and Mike when they were being aggressive in group therapy, but M and J often didn't seem to give second thought to his concerns- I KNOW part of him felt this was wrong, just like Ron (the teacher) did.   None had expertise on mental illness, on issues teenagers have, does anyone there know how to talk about gay issues- as I had? transgender issues shoud they arise? Things seemed oversimlified, abuse/addiction, that's it- no societal complexities addressed- even the struggles of being a woman, simply ignored and left untapped, in an all grils school!   Was anyone really qualified (besides Gary, who was often not present during group) to be addressing abuse issues and allowing girls enter into dissociative states while free writing and have that bring up 'new'memories?  The idea is controversial in itself, even with doctors who have studied this for years and years, imagine an ecology graduate facilitating it.  While I was there about 5 girls suddenly had this disassociative issue, formerly known as MPD ( multiple personality disorder), like it was contagious.  New memories popping up constantly of ritualistic abuse, even I thought I had new memories!  It was absolute madness.
Once physical labor broke us down emotionally, laying out the framework by which we all should live, without hesitation and unquestioningly?  for the sake of creating independent women and thinkers? Would you say that, as independent logical individuals, that imposing your own will onto others is a good thing?  See, I'm thinking that is not exactly helpful therapy.  Beyond that, I felt it was abusive. (I'm talking about the therpay now, some other things were useful- I learned how to ski, that was a pretty cool thing)
That said, I hope that all of us formerly 'damaged goods' can get it together and see this 'thing' through-that is, tell our stories so that this issue we all feel so passionaltely about is addressed.  MMS should be regulated- it could only help- and reforms need to be made, as should other schools like MMS. A couple of stories told and I can't imagine the public believing this is entirely acceptable.  We have to care for every member in our society, as the idea goes, I think that if half the girls that attended/attend MMS feel subjected to abuse, even if it worked for the other half, reforms should be made so that girls don't have to be damaged or at least so parent are aware and can then make a better informed decision on whther MMS would be good for their child.  As it is the picture painted of MMS is that it is a wornderful program that works...what about those it's damaging...  See reveiws of MMS at strugglingteens.com, according to Lon Woodbury, MMS it wonderful!!
  You know, the funny thing, as sure as I am of myself, there's this naggin feeling that I am wrong.  Isn't that crazy Colleen?  You create a place for abused kids and the kids turn into adults and still fear you?  Do you realize the safe haven was felt possibly as equally as abusive and holds just as many painful memories and carries with it an equally great sadness as the past prior to MMS for some girls?  what was lost there...very sad... I can't think of a single reason why MMS isn't willing to work to ensure that even if it doesn't help all, girls don't leave in worse condition...If the purpose is to help and I ran the program, I'd certainly be re-evaluating.  that's the problem, though, things don't change and more girls are being admitted and many continue to come out with the same complaints. My feeling is that MMS needs an intervention of it's own.

I am sad, I lost much prior to MMS.  What little remained I lost while there and was a raw nerve upon my return to reality.  I hope at minimum if you read this you can consider your methods, John can get educated, things need to change.  I am angered that our gov't does not regulate these schools, but it is what it is, for now.

Katfish[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-05-04 10:09 ]

81
Mission Mountain School / What about Tanya? I agree about Ron
« on: April 29, 2005, 07:25:00 PM »
Anyone remember Tanya, who was a MMS- what, intern?  Just one of the younger assistants like -G-eoff and Bill, ya'll remember Bill?  Sara and I can't remmeber, Carla, cayla, some lady (bitchy lady) name began with C- all were early to late-twenties.  I think most were disturbed, esp Tanya, and I know Ron was disturbed with the abusive treatment at MMS.  Very interesting...

82
Mission Mountain School / unity and battle
« on: April 02, 2005, 01:49:00 AM »
I would happily participate in working toward reforms and such.  Things have to change- at least at MMS.  
Commenting quickly, Mercer and Mike Finn were the two founders I found to be extremely abusive- though I believe Mike is no longer there.  Gary Kent would occasionally expressed dismay at their tactics through physical expression, but never did I hear him address Mercer or Finn verbally.

So, what can be done?  Things have to change... Is it true that music is prohibited.  It was regulated while I was there, but at the time was my only source of comfort.

I also relate to what 'Antigen' said about joke/private reality check.  Being so duplicitous is so straining and made me feel crazy. Lying and hearing those lies repeated back to me conforted me in the sense that it kept the sense that this was all a fictional experience (in a way) b/c it was as I was not developing.  I was hiding and repressing my core.  Out of everything, that was the worst aspect of MMS for me.

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