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Feed Your Head / Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« on: September 23, 2010, 05:08:27 PM »
Opinion piece on CNN about this situation: ... tml?hpt=T2

Don't punish dad for defending daughter
By Ruben Navarrette Jr., Special to CNN
September 23, 2010 1:22 p.m. EDT

San Diego, California (CNN) -- Free James Willie Jones!

The world is upside down. The act of children bullying the vulnerable has become so common that many adults no longer seem to notice or care, much less do anything to stop it. But when a video clip on YouTube shows a father defending his daughter from bullies, some people go ballistic.

What used to be considered unacceptable is now thought to be normal, and what used to be normal is now unacceptable.

Jones is facing two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function. He was released from jail after posting a $2,000 bond.

It's all because, three weeks ago, the 42-year-old father from Lake Mary, Florida, stormed onto a school bus and -- in a screed captured on video -- threatened the bus driver and some of the students with bodily harm.

"Now everybody sit down; sit down," Jones says on the tape. And then, addressing his daughter: "Show me which one. Show me which one." The girl points in the direction of a group of students, which Jones then approaches. He told them: "This is my daughter, and I will kill the [expletive] who fought her." He also threatened the bus driver.

Jones obviously behaved badly. But he was trying to do the right thing. He didn't board that bus to bully students as some have suggested. This isn't a story about a grown man terrorizing kids for the fun of it.

He was there to defend and protect his 13-year-old daughter, who had been terrorized by real bullies who -- according to what Jones told deputies -- teased his daughter, spat on her, poked her, pushed her, smacked her on the back of her head, twisted her ear and shouted rude comments at her.

They even threw a liquid-filled condom at another girl, and fragments hit Jones' daughter. According to the sheriff's report, this abuse eventually drove the girl, who has cerebral palsy, to have an emotional breakdown and threaten suicide.

Meanwhile, the officials at Greenwood Lakes Middle School have taken a break from PE and PTA to do a little CYA. School spokeswoman Regina Murray Klaers told The Associated Press in an e-mail that Jones did not share with school administrators any concerns about his daughter being bullied. Jones' wife, Deborah McFadden-Jones, told the AP that she left messages with a school guidance counselor but that she never heard back.

As the father told Kiran Chetry, co-host of CNN's "American Morning," when he learned of the abuse, he acted on instinct.

"She finally opened up and told me what was going on," Jones said. "And from there, you know, being a dad just loving my daughter ... and just loving all my kids, you know. ... [At] that point, my heart broke when I [saw] her standing there ... [she] wasn't going to get on the bus crying. And a dad is a dad. And I was going to be her protector that day."

That's what this was: A father protecting his daughter. And if that little girl couldn't rely on her dad to protect her, just whom in this world is she supposed to rely on?

At an emotional news conference this week, Jones acknowledged that his behavior was wrong and apologized for it.

"If you see the tape," he said, "I feel like I was backed up against the wall as a parent. I just didn't know where else to go."

Yet, Jones said, parents should not follow his example.

"We definitely don't want to promote that," he said. "We don't want vigilantes going on buses, threatening kids, because kids have rights too."

Oh yeah, as Americans, we have rights. We know all about our rights. We assert our rights. We don't think twice about hiring lawyers to defend our rights. But what we have trouble with is the other half of the social contract: responsibility.

That includes the responsibility to treat one another with dignity and respect, and not prey on those who can't defend themselves. And the responsibility of parents to raise good kids who don't get their jollies from causing classmates mental and emotional anguish. And the responsibility of school officials to take seriously the idea that they act in loco parentis (in place of parents) and that our children's safety rests in their hands.

Jones' attorney has said she is hoping to get the charges against him dropped. She has even offered to have her client give speeches against bullying as a form of community service.

The attorney is half right. The charges in this case should be dropped -- immediately. And I'd like to see charges filed against the teenage bullies. In an ideal world, we'd also charge their parents for bungling the job of raising these kids.

But Jones shouldn't waste his time giving speeches about bullying. Instead, he should lecture audiences about something that is really important to our society and that a lot of people don't know how to do but that he seems pretty good at: parenting.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ruben Navarrette.

In my facility, the mantra was dead-or-in-jail. Maybe because the "insane" was already presumed to be true.

It's been hard for me to recognize this mantra as being an untruth. After all, many of us were already almost dead, and some of us had already been in jail. That's what made it look like a fact.

I can see now how it was used to manipulate us. But I was wondering: how have other people dealt with this mantra as adults?

How have you been able to get it out of your head, away from your expectations for yourself and for the other kids who were in programs with you?

Open Free for All / Offa!
« on: September 20, 2010, 02:48:57 PM »
Since this is a section for randomness as well as freedom of speech,

I just have to tell you guys that typing in the password gives me the tiniest bit of joy.

I always think, "Offa!" as an exclamation of joy, like the Greek "Opa!"

Just wanted to share.



The Melting Pot / 248
« on: September 19, 2010, 03:29:30 PM » is a blog written by couple in Kuwait.

Three Springs / Re: My experience at Three Springs New Beginnings
« on: September 19, 2010, 02:58:00 PM »
Yes, there are two isolation rooms.

When you entered the New Beginnings facility, you entered the main office portion. I don't remember that place much, because I saw it under 10 times on my way in and out from passes. When you entered the first alarmed door, the cafeteria was on the right. You walk down a long hall to get to the second alarmed door. This door opened into the "dayroom."

At the back of the dayroom, there was the staff room in the center, with two rooms on either side. (While I was there, the rooms on either side were either used as classrooms, or as bedrooms for people with Pledge and Honors level.) The rooms where the kids slept were down hallways perpendicular to the dayroom (shaped kind of like a T), and there was one isolation room by each of the halls where kids slept.

You could choose to go into an isolation room, or you could be forced into the isolation room, or you could be restrained in the isolation room. (You could also be restrained and tied to the board in full view of everyone in the middle of the dayroom...)

I was never forced to go in there, or restrained, thank goodness. (The time I was beaten was not in the context of restraint, like most of the kids.) I was depressed, and I was pretty good at following rules - that kind of physical "acting out" behavior was never my style.

My "fondest" isolation room memory is being forced to clean up a group member's shit that she smeared on the walls, when the staff ignored her multiple requests to go to the bathroom. Ugh.

The Melting Pot / Re: What are you munching on?
« on: September 18, 2010, 01:44:56 AM »
Bran flakes and soymilk with honey.

Three Springs / Re: My experience at Three Springs New Beginnings
« on: September 16, 2010, 02:05:53 AM »
Hey, what the heck, I'll post another poem. I've written a lot over the years, but this isn't my blog, I'll keep it to a couple.

This is to the staff member with the itchy fists.

I disagreed with you, Mr. BW, and I know you
hated me for that. I had with you a conflict,
an intellectual conflict, and like the others,
this one too was mostly in my head.
My disagreement with you was an ethical
one. I could not remotely fathom how you
could justify:
there was a girl who was nearly
septic from the huge number of
staples she had inserted
methodically into her skin
and we came upon her as a group,
and you said to ignore her.
There she sat with a sharp object
of some kind
(even in our sterile environment
her eyes were so keen and ever
searching the carpet for tiny pieces of metal or
glass that no vacuum cleaner could have
bleeding from a newly opened wound
and you said to ignore her.
I stood there with the group with my
head about to explode and I
mustered only one sentence to you
(as you intimidated me so much):
“But she’s Hurting herself!”
You had us go back to the day room,
Counting as we walked through the door
“One sir.” “Two sir!”
(I learned to convey my emotions through
our two allowed line-words, muttering just
so you could hear or
spitting it at you or
shouting it defiantly or
whispering it sadly)
And you said to ignore her.
And I couldn’t.
People could say I identified too strongly with her.
In her I saw myself, who I was back when I was
sick too. Ignoring her was ignoring myself and I
couldn’t do that any more. I couldn’t ignore the
life-pulse in me and by g-d, I couldn’t let you
ignore the life-pulse in her too. I could see it
there, I could see it in her poetry and in her jokes
and in her eyes when you abandoned her while she
was strapped to the Board. I could see it there,
but not you.
Not you, never you.
If you had seen the life-pulse,
you would have seen how it
diminished after you beat them.
If you had seen the life-pulse,
you would have seen how it
lay behind her eyes and how it
begged us to stop her.
I cannot believe you ever saw it,
because if you had, you would
have left that place long before
you were forced.
I disagreed with you, Mr. BW,
and I know you hated me for that.
I just stopped caring.
2:00 PM  7/28/03

The Melting Pot / Re: What are you munching on?
« on: September 13, 2010, 06:50:34 PM »
Honey nut Chex mix.

(What do you mean, Chex mix is not an adequate meal?!?!?)   :lala:

Three Springs / Re: Three Springs Documents
« on: September 13, 2010, 05:04:09 PM »
"The Cycle" was the Negative Behavior Cycle. I've found a document where I wrote out an example of my "behavior," but haven't found an original either in my papers or on the Internet.

The setup is History ---> Trigger ---> Negative Behavior Cycle, where "The Cycle" is an a circle...

Will keep looking.

Three Springs / Re: Three Springs Documents
« on: September 13, 2010, 04:48:45 PM »
There are a few formats for this: The Reflection Log

The general format was to write your name, the date, your goals for the day and whether you accomplished them, and what norms you broke.

Sometimes there was a form to fill out, too. It looked like this:

Date _________________

My overall mood:

Today where have I been in the cycle:

Today in school I:

I was confronted by ____________ about ________________ and I feel ____________ toward that person.

Stinkin' thinkin' today:

What have I done today to work on my problems (sp) areas?

Tomorrow I'll try to:

Three Springs / Re: My experience at Three Springs New Beginnings
« on: September 13, 2010, 04:02:19 PM »
Please try not to judge this poem; I was 14 at the time. I was in Three Springs less than one month when I wrote it. Laura was a girl who got beaten the most.

I listen to Laura

I listen to Laura,
and cringe as she screams;
I rock back and forth
as the sweat on my forehead gleams.
I listen to Laura -
she's in so much pain.
What do they think she'll learn
when they daily restrain?
I listen to Laura,
and I can feel everything she does.
I can feel it when she cries
at the mention of the gloves.
I listen to Laura
getting put on The Board.
It makes me so sad,
so I pray to the Lord.
I listen to Laura
and along with her, I cry,
because the way she's screaming,
it sounds like she might die.
I listen to Laura,
and I want to tell her so much.
I want her to listen,
and feel my caring touch.
I listen to Laura
and I don't know what to do.
I'm just counting the minutes
until this episode is through.


Three Springs / Re: Three Springs Documents
« on: September 13, 2010, 03:28:49 PM »
I used this document when I was outlining the abuses at Three Springs, explaining how they had broken every part of their own creed.

Three Springs Creed

We believe that every person, regardless of age, social standing, sex, education, or race, is a person worthy of respect, and whose dignity as a human being should be considered at all times.

We believe that every child placed in our care has a goodness and strength to be found, regardless of the problems or unacceptable behavior.

We believe that the physical and emotional health of our residents is paramount. In no case should they be subjected to undue risk or emotional damage because of our actions.

We believe in discipline based upon love and care, and that decisions affecting those in our care should never be made in anger or haste.

We believe that growth and maturation comes by doing, and our residents should never be demeaned by having things done for them that they can do for themselves.

We believe that each person involved in our treatment program, be they parent, child, social worker, probation officer, counselor, or friend is a part of a cooperative team, and that little can be accomplished without the valuable contribution of each team member.

We believe in truth, whatever the potential embarassment.

We believe in fairness, knowing that decisions are never fair to all people all of the time.

We believe in building bridges, rather than burning, and developing friendships based upon understanding and care of others.

We believe in goals, and commitment; for without them our lives are undisciplined and non directed.

Three Springs / Three Springs Documents
« on: September 13, 2010, 03:05:25 PM »

I have a file, about two inches thick, of documents from my time at Three Springs. I'm going to go through them, and post things here that I think might be relevant to other people.

This is the Application for Community Membership.

Application for Community Membership
(Use additional paper and answer each question listed below.)

1. Introduce Self
Where you are from:
Why you are at Three Springs:

2. List the crimes or inappropriate behaviors you have committed:

3. List the victims of these crimes or inappropriate behaviors by name:

4. What was the effect of your crimes or inappropriate behaviors on each of these victims? List each victim and the effect. Be very specific.

5. What has been the effect of your crimes or inappropriate behaviors on your family?

6. What is the current effect of your crimes or inappropriate behaviors on you today? What have you missed out on or lost as a result of your crimes or behaviors?

7. What are the responsibilities of a community member? List them.

8. What is the Positive Peer Culture?

9. Why do you want to be a Community Member in the Positive Peer Culture?

10. What can you bring to the PPC?

11. State the Three Springs Creed or as much as you can. State what these statements mean to you and about you while you are at Three Springs.

12. Be prepared to list specific norms to your group.

The Melting Pot / Re: Cybernations..
« on: September 13, 2010, 02:20:11 PM »
I'm in!

I loved this game in college.

 :tup:  :tup:  :tup:

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