Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - Lolita

Pages: [1]
Who Am I Discovery/Whitmore / I gave a supportive deposition, but...
« on: February 02, 2009, 05:41:59 PM »
I was required to give a deposition for the Sudweeks' case, but since I was still a minor (barely 17 at the time) I was scared to death of being sent back to that hell. Of course I lied. My mother was there. If she heard me saying negative things, she may have emailed Cheryl what I had said and you know what her answer would have been... "SEND HER ON BACK!!! She's not yet fixed!!" I lied and I lied and I lied. So many lies...

Well, I really hated to do that... but the fear of returning or being sent to a similar facility for telling the truth was simply paralyzing. I'm sure the other kids from Whitmore who are still around here know just what I mean. After years of emotional, mental, and physical abuse, my life was finally normal; just the thought of it all being ripped from me once again was unbearable.

So, my question to you is this... is there anything I can do to correct what I said? I am no longer a minor and cannot be sent away, and I am afraid no longer. I'm worried that now that since the trial is over, I cannot right my wrongs and they will not be punished for what they did. I have tons of evidence... copies of emails, letters, photos that were not allowed to be posted, group newsletters that were not allowed to be posted... all of it saved. All of it here. Can I do anything with this, or is it all simply useless?

I choose not to reveal my name for fear of repercussions from those still inhaling that Kool-Aide...

I do want it to be known however, that I believe I have the most correct account of events that went on in Whitmore as I was 'in the background' most of the time... they simply assumed that my quiet, apparent conformity meant I believed every word, did everything as I was told, etc. My innocent demeanor is very misleading. I believe at some point, for a few months or more at a time, every single one of the other kids were 100% under their control, with the exception of Joey who was not there long enough for brainwashing to occur. I never was - I maintained individual thought, did what I wanted (quietly, of course - and very sneakily), and did not let their bullshit penetrate the concrete wall I set on the boundaries of my mind. I kept a secondary journal, 100% secret from both Cheryl and the students, written in a code I designed myself, containing what REALLY happened that day. The others are correct in a lot of instances, but forget to mention certain important facts or events. If anyone has ANY questions for me whatsoever, please reply and let me know. I want to help. I want everyone to understand exactly what went on there, and why we are all traumatized (or still under their control) and will be for the rest of our lives.

I still have nightmares. I know some of you do, too.


Pages: [1]