Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I cannot believe the posts I'm reading! It burns me up these places exist and I went to one! (Although I think Straight sounds like the worst.) Greg--did you father ever make amends with you? Did he ever realize his mistake?

That was me posting Ottawa, and I think I can delineate what is real.  I never thought you were a "spy."  Basically because I generally believe what people tell me unless proven otherwise. You said you were a parent who had a good experience.

My problem with you is that you seem to be totally desensitized to the very real, integral problems that existed at CEDU and the pain it caused.  Your letter to Tiffany was the first post to show any measure of compassion. Yet, you still view her experience as an isolated incident rather than a systemic one.  It was rampant.

This is our safe haven to vent and be proactive about our experience. For you to deny it is not only insensitive but actually, cruel. It would be different if you listed your positive reasons and then moved on. But to continually discount what happened to us and to the people around us is wrong. Remember this didn't happen to Joe schmo we don't know, this happened to US. I really hope you don't treat your future clients this way.

Before you start to cast doubt on my ability to grasp reality, maybe you should enlarge the scope of yours.  I haven't made a single comment about whether or not your son's experience was positive. I have never met nor spoken to him.  

But I do know that CEDU was not only the wrong placement for me, but that they manipulated my parents and myself in an unethical manner, that they used emotional and verbal abuse in the raps and propheets, that their school (at that time) was embarassingly sub standard, that the staff had inadequate training and expertise, and that the school inculcated an atmosphere of fear, anxiety, and bullying.  

Also, from my own experience, I know that my past was purposely misconstrued and exaggerated by the staff.  I know that they often didn't resolve the real issue but fabricated or honed in on a lot of trivial miscellany. I know that medical issues were often mismanaged.  It happened to me and it happened to others.  

If it makes you feel better to think we don't know what is "real" than perhaps that is an issue that you need to explore.

OK. I guess the problem concerns objective truths. I think there are subjective truths and objective truths. If there were no objective truths, there would be no way to have a relatively safe, orderly society.  To me, a place run by cultists (I realize that you don't agree with this definition)who aren't honest and are verbally abusive and encourage this in their "therapeutic" group sessions lack baseline ethics and moral fortitude.  If you think the way these raps are run are subjective, then there is no point in discussion.  I mean, they think its ok to kill women who have been tainted by rape in other societies, so I guess I can say that is their subjective truth.  If I were to apply this "subjective truth" to every evil/unethical action in the world, we would be in deep s*&^.  

The other thing is that after CEDU, even if you split, you are often still CEDU-fied.  THe experiences there are so intense, you can't just shake it off. Even though I split, it was years and years before I ever disclosed fully (even to myself) why I left, because it wasn't to go back to screwing up.  Instead, I over focused on the positive for me (this really entailed the hard physical labor, wilderness, forcing myself to deal w/disability -- not by the staff or by therapeutic measure by by the circumstances there) and suppressed the utter fear and anxiety of the raps and propheets, the falsehood propagated in these forums, the bullies at the school, the isolation and manipulation from and of my parents, the inability to question any part of the very flawed system, and frankly, the dangerous pasts of a few of the students. I know for a fact that it was too scary for most kids to EVER say how they felt about the program to parents, staff, visitors because of the ramifications later...your life would be a living hell. What happens is that this becomes so conditioned that you still follow this code even after you leave.  

On another site some people admit that if you asked them on their graduation day how they felt, it would be more positive than after they are reimmersed in the real world and have time to process it away from the insularity of CEDU. Various people have said they have nightmares ten, fifteen years later.

The other thing is that if you had any history with drugs or low self esteem, you get conditioned to believe you can't beat it without CEDU and see the place as your savior.  Many kids did not have real  drug problems but were conditioned to believe they did or would. I guess if you really did have a drug problem then you might see CEDU as a savior, especially with those tools given to you that don't always seem to work in real life.  

All in all, there were too many kids there who were parked there by their rich parents who never dealt with their real issues because the staff both recklessly mislabled and mishandled you.

These kids get out of school thinking they are OK and then end up swept by a tidal wave when they realize they have to deal with the same, unresolved issues.

Shanlea

Former Cedu Therapist, I understand your appeal. Homophobes, racist and other vicious remarks only deter from the purpose of this site. I came to this site to get perspective/closure/and activism on the topic, CEDU.  In my personal life, i would not choose to hang out with a bunch of racist, sexist, homicidal moronic a-holes and it really turns me off this site. I know it turns other people who want to discuss CEDU off, too.  In fact, some no longer visit this forum for this reason, which is sad because it defeats the better intentions of posters trying to raise awareness.  On that front, it would be great to kick 'em off.

But it's probably not gonna happen here.  Some of the other sites are worse. Hey Ginger, if you are reading this thread, what is your philosophy in this regard? Is there a line that shouldn't be crossed?

What are the 7 steps?

(I'm not a seedling or straightling. I went to CEDU, but all this stuff is building my awareness. I am getting my grad degree in education and I want info in case parents who are having a hard time with their teenagers ask for guidance.  It's good for me to know about these programs so I can help make people more aware of these so-called help industries.)

I'll be waiting for the story! Thanks

Another thing: Don't threaten other families and other children.  That is inhumane. You can blame CEDU for hurting you and scarring you but not for your own inhumanity.

Ottawa, I don't think--based on my experience--that there is much that is downright fanciful. Some of the alleged acts that appear on the site seem so outrageous and repulsive to non students I would have never believed unless I went to that school.