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Messages - shanlea

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Hmmmm.  I can't think of a bigger waste of tax payers money than litigating that $40 million dollar blow job. 

Mean while, the current DumbAss has done nothing but blow money, waste lives, and commit other acts that can only be described as anything from irrelevant to annihilative. Then you got American voters voting for him TWICE because he gives good BBQs and manages a few macho one liners that mean zip.  He has ZERO administrative, reasoning, and executive skills.  He couldn't even run a successful company back in the day and we voted him for president?

Bring Back Bill!   I don't care whose hiding under his desk, as long as he can function presiding over it.

Open Free for All / Special Favor
« on: January 03, 2008, 12:49:11 PM »
Hey Che!

Will you please send me a post card, and perhaps a souvenir from your trip?  WTF am I saying? Everything in America is made in China anyway.

Also: consider to changing your name to Mao Gookin when you post from your trip!

Xie xie! and 旅途愉快!


CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Humbug!
« on: August 09, 2007, 02:36:20 PM »
I can tell you now that during my stay at the lovely CEDU, there were no friends who supported your real, intact self... they were all look goods, snitches, kool aid drinkers, or just trying to get by doing whatever they had to do. So, basically, my coterie of CEDU compadres did NOTHING except support the ideology, driven by koolaid or fear, or some mix of both.  We certainly had NO access to bacardi, herbs, or fun with Dick and/or Jane.

Maybe CEDU loosened up during your tenure. I was there in mid-late eighties. You couldn't get away with anything then. Back then, you could be banned from the sun, banned from books, banned from zippers. Seriously.   (Not to mention free speech/religion/thought/association/ and will.) It was completely seeped in Stepford control and ideology.


Feed Your Head / Did anyone read this week's
« on: May 07, 2007, 04:22:24 PM »
Newsweek? The article on AA? Here's a quote:

"They start isolating people, getting them away from any feedback other than their own."

Sound familiar?  

It's not a blanket indictment. It's a look at the potential for Program Thinking.

Our family counselor saw the lovelybrochure and recommended this fine, therapeutic academic program. It turned out to be none of those adjectives.

Open Free for All / "Women's town" to put men in their place
« on: April 29, 2007, 11:49:55 PM »
You're probably right. I forgot about the entrenched patriarchy in China. I wonder how many men will be making the move to Dominatrix-ville? This might turn out to be an all female society. A feminist Eatonville so to speak. Of course, there may be some uptight American/German business men who would pay these gals a visit.  -lea

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / martin weins
« on: April 09, 2007, 12:53:10 AM »
This is a great example of why that place is emotionally destructive and how it allows power tripping bullies (staff) to run amok.   Unfortunately, those humiliation tactics--emotional rape--was endemic and not limited to a few freak staff memebers.

Open Free for All / Ten Best Suicide Methods
« on: February 17, 2007, 11:55:33 AM »
I wonder how many people who tried and failed are so happy they did. I think people should have the autonomy to do what they want with their own life, but I hope more would try every other alternative first. Its an understandable option if you live with a lot of interior pain.  So far, I've managed to retain enough hope or humor to get me though challenging times, and I think both these traits are necessary.  

But there is nothing worse than the aftermath of losing someone you care about to suicide and wondering what you could have done differently...

Open Free for All / Help with Six Year Old
« on: January 29, 2007, 04:47:18 PM »
I made the original post. I love my son.The school can go to hell if they ever recommend drugging him. He's 6!  I think he's special, and unique and great, and have no plan to standardize him. I am hoping to give him a few tools to navigate better socially,and a lot of those have to do with me being more patient, and giving him coping mechanisms.   I will come up with strategies--but they won't include meds OR killing his spirit.

Thank you for all your contributions to this topic.

The Troubled Teen Industry / Update from "former" program mom
« on: April 27, 2006, 08:25:00 PM »
I don't get it. It takes a lot for Truth Searcher to come here and admit a mistake. Do you know how many parents still assert 20 years later that X program saved their kids' lives? Even as their children, now adults, suffer from all types of hidden (and not so hidden) scars?

Why attack her? She ALREADY said she was able to warn one family to think twice.  And the truth is, while anger can be a driving force, it can overwhelm the message if you sound like a fucking lunatic. I'll save that for the Ottawas, who blatantly ignore program abuses, and celebrate the programs while simultaneously overlooking the loooooong list of SPECIFIC abuses we suffered.  

Truth Searcher is exactly the kind of advocate we need.  She understands the perspective of desperation that leads to bad choices and had the humility and grace to recognize her mistake.

And the truth is: these schools manipulate the hell out of our parents.  They have it down pat. Exactly what to say to inspire fear if you even consider pulling your child out.  Parents trust them to be experts.

My parents thought CEDU would be a REAL academic environment (not even close) with accredited therapists, with supportive group therapy.  It was a place in the mountains in a bucolic setting.  They had no CLUE what was going on. It was recommended by pastors/therapists.  I WANTED help.  

When my Dad got cold feet, the school told him I was  a Coke Head which was a blatant lie--I wasn't even there for drugs! THey told him if he showed any weakness I'd be in jail or dead.... Because we were mointored and isolated it was easy to mainatin that... they also told my parents I was lying if I said otherwise... More BS!  I didn't even go there for lying! I was the kid who left notes when I snuck out and never lied to a direct question.  (I might for example try and say I was going to a slumber parrt, but if my Dad said You're not really going to a slumber party are you? I would say, you're right I'm not.)

CEDU made a liar out of me, a liar out of parents, and we won't even discuss their end of it!

So please, I think Former Program Mom has a lot to offer here in her own way.  If she can warn others to rethink their choices and research carefully, that in itself has real value.

When I had my student yanked out of my school to be sent to some whacked out religious cult with JC in it's mission statement, I didn't have a leg to stand on with the parents. (Frankly, it was risky for me to even say what I said.) But if they heard from another Mom who sent their kid there, with the same Christian values, they may have been more receptive.

We need all the help we can get.

Open Free for All / Sexual Harrasment perspective
« on: April 25, 2006, 03:36:00 PM »
When I was 16, I wanted to work with my friends, so I was hired at a local steakhouse. The manager and his friends were very good looking in their upper twenties to lower thirties... they were constantly badgering me and even offering me drugs. I was naive and not very savvy, so I just laughed it off but took care never to go to their parties etc.  I thought it was weird guys that age would bother with a sixteen year old. I found out later they were offering my friends drugs to get with me. Apparently, one was a dealer.

Not two months after starting the job, I picked up a co-worker who called me at work (who was married to a Navy guy). She was not some floozy. She was invited to a "party." The manager kept saying people would come. She passed out after only two drinks, and woke up unclothed with purple splotches all over her neck. She called me crying, but was too horrified to do anythng (this was before Anita Hill).  I quit right afterward.

After that, I found out the manager hired his girlfriend's and best friend's girl, and raped her, too under mysterious circumstances. (I went to CEDU soon after, so I don't know the outcome of the case.  I know he went to jail. )

In fact, one of my friends who started a sales job was getting all kinds of odd ball phone calls from her boss at weird hours (they were both good looking--but she wasn't interested).  It was creeping her out, so when she got a late night call from her boyfriend, she told him how freaked out she was... it turne dout it was her new "boss" pretending to be her boyfriend. She quit in a flash.  

I do agree that people take simple flirtation too seriously at times, and could just say "thanks, but no thanks."  

But I also know of plenty of stories where sexual harassment was not a misnomer. I've had teachers, co-workers, hell, even relatives hit on me at a young age, so I do believe women in general need a little extra protection.

I don't really care about crass jokes etc. if the joker is an equal opportunity offender. I don't care about flirtatiousness, although I do not like being at the receiving end of it from my boss. But I do care when you feel coerced, unsafe, or uncomfortable in what is supposed to be a professional setting.

I put off ordering it for a looong time.  I am only at page 34 and I am so sickened... So much reminds me of what happened at CEDU. Part of the reason I am so angry is that it is still widespread and public awareness is so small.  I am glad this book is out; But I would like to see it incorporated in a visual medium. I hope this trickle becomes a flood.

It is already bringing up such rage and anger toward the people who perpetrated this... And I also just realized that the program had a more traumatic impact on me then some trauma I dealt with at a young age.  That trauma was straightforward; this was insidious and made me lose sight of what was acceptable human behavior.  It basically validated abuse by making the lines unclear. If your parents and pastors send you to a place where you are psychologically, emotionally, verbally, and in some places, physically abused, and you are told it's love and therapy--how the fuck do you ever figure out what real love and therapy (which I'm skeptical of) is?

The truth is that I bear more scars from the program than from any experience prior to that. It messed up my relational boundaries in a way that I only recently discovered.  

I'm an educator now and I found out one of my students was sent to a similar program. Basically for being a normal kid. He has a wonderful attitude about life and his mistakes.  He is an involved teenaged father who works his ass off at work and school, and his religious zealot parents shipped him off to a school that uses Jesus Christ to shame him. He is already so convinced of his sinfulness (basically for having premarital sex and then doing it again!), he went away willingly...

I felt so helpless. (Just like I felt when I was dropped off for the first time.)  I couldn't, in my professional capacity, say anything overt, but I begged the parents to please look at all the fora available on this program before sending him away. But to them, anything with JC in its Mission Statement is A-OK.

I feel like I had finally put the lid on this can of worms,and they all popped out again.

The Troubled Teen Industry / Revenge is a dish best served cold...
« on: April 14, 2006, 01:16:00 PM »
My parents are pretty liberal, and they sent me to CEDU because they were ineffective, emotionally negligent parents. I wasn't "on drugs"; I never committed any criminal activity--not even petty theft. But I suffered from depression, low self esteem, and was a truant.  I loved learning but couldn't get myself to stay in school.  I didn't really do anything bad per se. In addition, a few traumatic things happened that made it worse.

CEDU was a place our family therapist recommended. (Even I was begging for help at this point.) It looked good on the brochures: bucolic, mountain setting.

My parents honestly thought they were sending me to a safe, loving environment to get the help I needed in a structured environment. It's just that we all got sucked into the machine once I stepped foot on the grounds--the lies and manipulation.

They went in with the best intentions--they felt like failures as parents and were searching for an alternative.

On paper, it all looked good.

And even though I wasn't one of those kids who lied all the time (I was the type who snuck out a lot--but I always left notes), CEDU would manipulate parents to see their children as liars in an effort to maintain control.  Fairly quickly, I realized not to bother explaining the program's defects, because CEDU (who monitored contact and isolated you) painted you as a liar out to manipulate parents.

Still, we all drank the Kool Aid--I did, too. My parents had teh best intentions, and the truth is, there isn't a lot of public awareness about these programs. Now, when I watch some dumb show on TV, where the kid is sent to a TBS and returns "cured", it makes me ill.  (Where I went, a lot of Hollywood celebrities sent their kids to the same TBS I went to.)
I can't say I blame my parents. I'm more upset by the total lack of public awareness of this issue. I think the key is to bring it out into the forefront in every way imaginable--through books, dramatizations, and news reporting. And to re-educate ed cons.

The problem with America is we don't read varied news sources;we are sucked in by sound bites (more and more important with the advent of 24/7 news); and we vote according to who would be fun to have over at a BBQ than for someone who is best able to run the country. Kerry always said that issues pertaining to domestic and foreign policy shouldn't be summed up in a sound bite--they are too damn complicated. But increasingly, we even want convoluted issues McDonaldized for public consumption. It really doesn't say much about our brain power.

Additionally, the theological aspect of politics scares the living bejesus out of me. The last thing I want is to live in a theocracy. Religion should stay out of it. Those who don't think you can be a moral and ethical person without a religious code governing your life are essentiallly too weak and deficient to have developed an internal basis of right and wrong.

The most ethical and moral people I know are agnostic or atheistic--they are generous of spirit and strive to do the right thing on an intrisic level--they don't need an external framework to direct them (and sometimes misguide them) accordingly.

Maybe I'm just venting because I live out in the boondocks with religious dogmatics.  And I see people suffering needlessly for it.

Historically, religion has been used to oppress people, keep them in line, give them a feeling of both shame and guilt AND moral superiority, and remove intellectual thinking from the process. This is helpful, because without logic and intellectual reasoning, you have little resources to fight dogma. That is why my friend's father in Iran (who advocated religious freedom) was jailed and killed-he was an intellectual and religious progressive who was charged with "thinking against the government." He was also a nonviolent pacifist--it was his thinking that drew fire.

Today, I feel we are increasingly asked to support platforms and policy based on religious grounds. This is not a healthy development.

I  don't know what it would take to get people to think more deeply on the issues, but even the powerful Roman empire fell.

The next President needs to focus on re-developing strong foreign ties (we don't live in a world where we can be the lone rangers, making unilateral decisions anymore), and keeping religious moral issues a private matter that people can attend to at home or at church or by creating programs independent of the government.  Let the government do their job of dealing with global, domnestic, and economic concerns.

Bush is far worse than a lying idiot. I mean that is such an extreme understatment. And hell,  a tree rom the wizard of oz would have done far less global damage than the jack ass we have now. So, yes, I'd vote for the tree from OZ--or any tree--for that matter rather than Bush.

And I stand by statements about the American public who voted for him. ESPECIALLY the second time!

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