Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I'm sure this will come as good news to some of you, that I have decided that I am no longer going to post here, this is my last post, and I will not be responding to any responses in this thread.




 There are a few reasons I have come to this decision. Back when I first got to fornits we were not required to sign in, and so I never really had a username. Sometimes I would agree with the pro program people, and sometimes with the anti program people. Not having a username makes it easier to post your true opinions without having to worry about how you will be perceived in the future, or be quoted indefinitely by others in an attempt to prove you wrong with your own words. Back when you could post as a guest without an identity, ideas spoke for themselves, and nobody really knew for sure who posted what. I thought that made fornits a very unique, and very enjoyable place to post, and read and respond to different ideas.

But since we have been required to sign in, and post under an identity, and now specifically only one identity, I find that fornits has dwindled down to a small group of people who spend more time attacking each other's character, and back story, and quoting them from months or years ago, rather than debating ideas. Having to sign in has caused a division in posters and cliques have been created, because basically everybody who posts here knows each other's position on most aspects of this industry. I think the requirement for everyone to sign in and create identities has resulted in a forum filled with ego battles and really has nothing to do with programs.

Another reason I choose not to post here is the realization that posting on fornits is done for ourselves and nobody else. I know people here like to think we post here for other reasons, but that's just not true. For some reason we are compelled to remain caught in the program past and talk about it, and I don't think I want to remain in that past, I really have nothing left to say on the subject. I've posted my feelings and experiences, and so all that left is to argue about stuff with people I don't even know. I think this is not a good use of my time, and causes unneeded conflict in my life, when it really is not necessary.

Yet another reason I no longer want to post here is the spirit of fornits is dying. I actually agree with the people here who say fornits was better a couple years ago before all the new rules like having to sign in, and now the rest that are so draconian it's just not that enjoyable to post here anymore. Being told to stay on topic, having my threads moved, this all shows me that fornits, as it was ,is now dead. What made fornits unique was that it was a place you could come and post any idea anonymously, no matter how outrageous, and people could respond however they wanted. This resulted in a lot of interesting confessions, debates, program stories, and connections. This is not that place anymore. I also do not do well under authority, something I"m sure other people here who have been in programs, jails, hospitals, can relate to. So the idea of an overseer deciding whether my thoughts are on topic, or rude or whatever, makes me not want to post here.

The last and most important reason I will no longer be posting here is I'm over it. I just don't feel the need, or desire to speak about my experience in programs which was several years ago. Thanks to forntis I have been able to talk about it, debate it, and hear other people's opinions about what i think, and learn about their experiences. I'm grateful for that, because I don't talk to people regularly in my everyday life about programs, or AA or sobriety.

I know that bad things happen in programs and I believe the people here who say this. But I also know some good things happen, my experience was not all black, neither was it all white. The experience was grey, it had its goods and its bads. I look back on the program with a sense of distant nostalgia, and question some things about it, but also look fondly on some parts of it. I know this is seen as perverse, by some here. Or people thinking I might be brainwashed. But this is just me being honest, without a political slant or agenda, I'm not trying to push programs, or shut them down, I just want to talk about what I saw and experienced, because it is out of the ordinary, and made a big impact on me. At this point I've said all I want to say about this time in my life, and I'm ready to move on. To do this I can't be a part of this forum discussion anymore.

I also want to be honest here, and admit another reason is that I think delving into this tumultuous past does not help with my own sobriety. I haven't been sober in a long time, I still use, and every once in a while try to stop and go to NA but it's hard, and I haven't been able to get a significant amount of sober time ever since I started using before the program when I was a teen. So to me NA is a good thing because the people are always welcoming, and they are still there willing to help even if you keep relapsing. So I don't feel the need to debate AA and treatment and stuff like that. I am about to attempt to get sober again will be returning to NA and see if I can pull it off this time. I think this is a big part of why I like this forum is the discussion about AA actually, because people are intelligent here and oppose AA I want to see if I can be convinced that it is bad, and won't work. But it doesn't work, it's not convincing enough to me, and my own experiences outweigh the criticisms I read here. I don't know if this makes sense, but I wanted to be honest. Since I won't be posting here there is no reason I cannot be now.

So I will be shedding this online ego that is Maximilian, and in doing show will be retiring from posting on this forum indefinitely. One last thing. I want to take this last opportunity to apologize to anyone I offended. I mean that sincerely. I think you are all good people and believe what you are arguing, and that makes you passionate and that is a good thing. I understand what you are doing here, and hope you keep up the fight. I acted immaturely here and insulted many people, I know that. I apologize for it. I hope my leaving makes you happy, if I have made you angry, please take solace in my departure. The program I was in, is closed. It no longer has kids in it. I just thought I'd leave that there for the people who keep wondering where I went. Where I went does not exist anymore, except in the memories of those of us who were there. I've enjoyed fornits and sharing these memories but now they must return into my head and there they shall remain forever.

I want to thank everyone for making such intelligent and impassioned posts, and that goes to everyone here. This is a unique forum and I hope that it can continue to be as successful as it has been in the past. Thank you fornits and everyone who made it possible, it really made an impact on my life and I am grateful. To prove that I am serious I am giving the admin permission to ban me, and ban me in the future if I should return under another username or IP. Goodbye forever, fornits.

When you were in a program all those years ago, or decades ago (for some of you), did you ever think you'd spend so much time obsessing over that experience on the internet, basically conversing and getting into emotional debates with complete strangers you will never meet? Well a lot of you were in programs before the internet existed, hell many of you were in programs before personal computers even became mainstream. So you probably never thought this would be possible, right? But here you are, all these years later, obsessing over people you don't know and will never meet. Getting upset at people who have nothing to do with you or the program you went to. I can imagine this scared little kid sitting in the program, crying themselves to sleep at night, looking forward to the day when they can get back at programs by arguing about it on something called the internet. It was a vision of the future, and the future is now.

People here complain a lot about Whooter. Well if you look carefully the person who stalks Whooter day and night is a ex program employee, weighing in at over 250 pounds, the hired program thug, Mr "I sleep with a shotgun under my bed" Dysfunctional "Troll" Junction. The people who out parents and make porn sites about them and claim they are doing the work of the cult here, are people who never even were in a program. The admin here is an adult who went to a treatment center on their own will, and could have walked out at any time. If only survivors of underage youth programs were allowed to post here, all of these problems would be solved instantly. No more Whooter. No more staffers. No more fake survivors who went to treatment as adults. I think it would improve the quality a lot around here, I think we should consider it. Also I think we should require all survivors post the dates of when they were in programs under their username. So when somebody starts claiming all programs are abusive, we can tell that they were in a program 40 years ago, and know that their experience is pretty much irrelevant at this point. If you agree with this, then please email your local fornits representative and lets see if we can get this passed. If we work together we can accomplish a lot. lets do it!

Now that the new version of fornits has existed for a little while, I'm interested to hear opinions on whether you think the introduction of moderation and rules has made fornits better, or worse.

I think it's interesting that so far, the only people who have been banned are anti -program posters.

Do you prefer this new version of fornits, or the older, free for all unmoderated version of fornits?

My favorite thing about programs is how nice all the other kids were. I made a lot of friends in the program, and that experience will stay with my for a lifetime. Post your favorite thing about programs in this thread!

I am wondering what people think about using medications to help stay sober. I remember when i was coming off of drugs, I was given some medications that were supposed to help prevent "urges" but I don't think it ever really worked much. I also know there are drugs that make people who drink alcohol get sick, and so they take a pill in the morning and this prevents them from drinking or else they get very sick. There are people who think it's a good idea to combat addiction with anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs. I think it might be easier to come off drugs and alcohol this way, perhaps, but I also wonder if it's a good step to replace one addiction for another. I was prescribed to Xanax and that was very addictive and made me feel kind of high all the time actually, so it seemed kind of strange to use such strong medication when I was trying to be sober.

Do you think medication should be used if you want to remain sober? Or do you feel like it's trading one chemical dependency for another?

Do you believe in God?

Why, or why not?


I've never been able to believe there isn't some sort of God, since I was a small child. To me the idea of Atheism doesn't make any sense, I believe we are surrounded by evidence that the Universe exists for a reason. I don't think it's possible to comprehend what God really is, or the reasons or explanations why things the way they are, I think these are our own human interpretations of the Universe, and I think our viewpoint is somewhat limited to come to a conclusion on what we are currently experiencing while alive. I believe there is much more to the world than we know or see. When I get in trouble I ask God for help and forgiveness when necessary, I believe in the power of prayer. Various religions have formed their own interpretations of what they believe God is, and how we must obey God. In the long history of human beings, spirituality has played an important role, and all civilizations have some sort of God or Gods that they worship. I believe in a single, all powerful, and united God force, my best way of describing how I feel is that God is everything, and anything that ever will be. I have read several books on near death experiences, after one of my parents explained their own near death experience and decided to share this information with me. Their sincerity in the experience, and learning about all the people who have similar experiences is what I view as solid proof that there is life after death, and that we are in fact immortal souls.

I am wondering what people's opinions are on this. Do you feel that juvenile hall is a preferable location for a troubled teen, than them being placed in a program?

Let's say a parent knows their teen is using drugs, and knows the teen is stealing from the neighbors home to support their drug use. What should the parent do?

Should the parent call the police and have their own teen arrested for burglary and drug possession?
Should the parent ignore this behavior, and hope it gets better?
Should the parent confront their teen and attempt to control the situation themselves?

But what if the teen is caught by the police. The judge gives the parent a choice, six months in a juvenile hall or state run boot camp, or the parent can send the kid to a private program instead. What would you suggest this parent do?