Fornits

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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Che did you even read my post?... I agree with you NOT ALL parents are abusive and corrupt. However that argument is invalid because no one stated that ALL parents are subject to this judgment. Just in my opinion, a parent who would send their child to a program for smoking weed and lol being seen in the same parking lot as some alleged gang members.

Do you seriously only have one argument, let alone a complete lack of an intelligent one?

Aaron Bacon's mom is not your mom.

Stop projecting your issues with your mom onto his.

What's funny is that MY mother has nothing to do with this. My mom is honestly the sweetest most loving person I know and I really look up to her. My mom may have exhibited some signs of the "control issues" I spoke of, but honestly that doesn't make me hate her. Just the same I don't hate Aaron's parents either. My personal experience has nothing to do with the proven psychological issues of a society. My mom either could or could not be included in the group of people I am referring to (neither could the bacon's) however that is an irrelevant point as to why this common issue has surfaced in this particular situation. The fact that there are exceptions has always been taken into consideration. I never said ALL parents who have ever sent their kids were mentally ill and I especially don't believe mine was. However, I do believe this psychological issue is the root cause of tension between parents and their children, which in the worst cases leads to the unethical imprisonment of the child at the parent's request.

You have failed to see the difference between projecting issues and expressing an educated theory. Basically you are telling me you would prefer I don't share my opinions simply because you don't hold the same. It also sounds like you are defending program parents as a whole on the account that a few truly remorseful parents exist. Here's the thing, I have already said that remorse is something that will allow me to set aside my judgment and I encourage everyone else to forgive their parents at some point. HOWEVER I do not agree with the excuse that ALL parents are conned, because as I have seen in many parents that I have worked with, it is their control issues and lack of respect for their kids that cause them to seek out a program. Not to mention that most times this is the main issue that drives their kids to act out in the first place.

Case in point, I know a mother who is at this moment looking for a program (or military school) for her child. The problems in the family mostly stem from the parent's lack of patience, pride and control issues. You might assume at this point that its a 50/50... maybe the kids doing some things that he shouldn't be doing, why else would he be deserving of a program in his loving mother's eyes? This child is 8 years old, intelligent and well behaved there is nothing an 8 year old could possibly be doing to deserve a program. This parent is the problem, not the child. Now fast forward 8 more years of this torment and this kid will most likely have developed the problems this parent needs to see in order to back up her intentions she has always had to GET RID of her child. It's very unfair, but this is often how these stories play out.

BTW to the person who asked how I know about these things, and if I have raised children: YES not only have I worked with children since I got out of the program, but I have studied child care, psychology and social work extensively. I am in fact, currently working on my degree. I have also been a nanny to a family since the birth of both of their children and consider myself VERY involved with raising them. I also believe that I have been very successful in my approach to working with children, and even teens.

Not a drug user. I drink on occasion, socially.

But honestly I think "doing drugs" can be kind of a gray area. For instance would "doing drugs" automatically prevent you from being a responsible, respectful and successful adult? What about those who have mastered the art of moderation? What about those who only use "drugs" medicinally and futhermore what about those drugs that have no negative side effects and really SHOULD be legal in the states?

Does the fact that someone "does drugs" really determine if they deserved to go to the program?

My opinion is that NO CHILD should be sent to a program for using drugs. I really don't think its very possible for a teenager to be abusing drugs, experimenting yes, using yes but abusing? that takes time, money and an adult sized addiction. I think that the few and far between teenagers that are TRULY in need of an intervention should get professional medical help, a rehab possibly but this needs to be THEIR choice. I also think it is possible for a parent to help a kid get off drugs, and encourage them to find a reason not to continue to use. What I'm referring to would be the fabled "Parenting Technique"

Heres my public apology:

Aaron Bacon's family has suffered enough, and It would be vindictive of me to try to further their pain. That is not my intention. They are not literally "pieces of shits". They WERE simply exactly like every other over dramatic, selfish, insensitive and irresponsible parent that finds any reason to get rid of their kids. The troubled teen industry has never offered help to "problem teenagers", they offer a temporary fix for the parent's "teenager problem".

We dont have to directly blame Aaron Bacon's parents, it seems they have remorse and that is all can be asked of them. For the fact that they have decided to get involved with this cause makes them alright in my book. Honestly, the only point I was making is that at the time, Aaron Bacon's parents had the same lack of trust and respect for their child as most parents do today.

I must also agree that the lack of information should not be an excuse. There have been red flags since the beginning. But the fact that there is so much information today only means that EACH AND EVERY parent that sends their kid to a program today IS a piece of shit.

But it really doesn't matter. Regardless of what you do your child will mature without you doing anything. Every single person have a certain amount of greed. They want jobs, they want success.

That really says it all right there. It doesn't matter if you steal some time from your child's adolescence by placing them in lock down facility (be it hell hole or not so bad) they will still in their own time mature. That is my main issue with people who are pro-program, they all say "its saved her life" or "if it weren't for the program she would be dead" which are completely illogical statements. Not only are the statistics for deaths under age 18 proof of that theory's idiocy but the fact that teenagers since the dawn of time have been rebelling and then growing up makes giving the program any credit for that very ignorant.

Every program parent, and program supporter I have spoken to all have the same excuses... and that's all they are, excuses. When I say things like, "What about Aaron Bacon and Martin Lee Anderson and the many many kids who have committed suicide?" and they say, "That happens in public schools". I say, "Do you really think your kid deserves the abuse that I went through?" they say "That school was a bad apple, they aren't all like that". I say things like, "What if you pick the wrong one, as many do, and your son comes back worse off then he was before" and they say. "At least that's better than letting him destroy our lives too, besides by then he'll be 18 and he can leave my house"

BINGO. Parents are so willing to send their kids away because they do not want to raise a struggling teenager, they do not want that child in their lives. That is why they choose to believe the obvious lies and manipulations of the program staff because this is what they need to believe in order to keep their child away. If they were truly concerned for their child's welfare they would have much more of a problem with the way the program operates. (ie not allowed to have direct unscheduled phone contact, not allowed to visit, not allowed to have their own things, not allowed to see their own doctor and many other obvious red flags) Overall, these parents aren't sold by the program, they are sold by their own desperation to believe that it is possible to get the thing that is stressing them out, out of their lives. They enjoy the thought of having their freedom back that they took for granted before they had children and for most that means they get a second lease on life for only $2000 a month. They might care for and love their children, but they love their life WITHOUT children just a little bit more.

As well, the reason that parents call this the "last resort" is not because they exhausted any other options, it is because ALL other treatment options that are operated morally and responsibly are unwilling to hold a child against their will and force them to change into an obedient robot. No legitimate treatment program would have your child kidnapped, stripped, corralled and controlled. However this is exactly what these parents are looking for. They find these programs hoping to punish them, so that they will come home and be grateful for what they have at home and when these kids finally do arrive home, the shock of it all does have that effect. Fortunately that doesn't last long, and the kid usually go ape shit again, and soon enough these stupid parents realize they've wasted their money.

someone should have forwarded this to Aaron Bacons mum

OK. it may be slightly unfair for me to automatically assume Aaron's parents were one thing or another, however I am of the opinion that sending your child away for smoking weed is not only highly illogical but indicates a lack of trust and as I stated respect for your child as a person.

So, I think I should stand by my statement.