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Messages - sarahf

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Mission Mountain School / Questions for John Mercer
« on: May 17, 2005, 04:56:00 PM »
this is sarah fontana.
all i am saying is that there is clearly some anger and resentment behind some of the questions being asked and how they are being asked. because i don't have any negative feelings toward mms or the people there, i don't want the assumption made or the idea created that everyone has jumped on this anti-mms bandwagon.
i think whoever has questions for john or whoever, should ask them, just don't make it look like we all have the same questions or concerns.
i wasn't being sarcastic.
thanks.

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Mission Mountain School / Questions for John Mercer
« on: May 17, 2005, 10:03:00 AM »
i would rather you didn't sign this email to john and colleen on behalf of all mms alumni which is how it reads.
it's unfair for you to presume that we all feel the same way.
thanks.

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New Info / HAS ANYONE HERE EVER HEARD OF THE AMITY SCHOOL IN ITALY?
« on: May 13, 2005, 12:45:00 PM »
i was at amity when it closed too. to say that a riot broke out is a bit of an exageration, but it was nuts.
i am sarah fontana there in the last 5 months the school was in existence in 1994.
who are the rest of you?
especially anyone i might have known.
[ This Message was edited by: sarahf on 2005-05-13 10:12 ]

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i understand what you're saying kat. it's hard for me to hear such venom being spit at a place and people i care so deeply about and i feel a little protective over them. i am willing to accept that there are girls for whom the program didn't work out and who were unhappy about their experience there.
i guess when i found this forum last night i was totally taken aback by all the anger and resentment i read and many of my comments have been reactionary.
i am truly saddened that there are women who felt mistreated and "abused" at mms. i think that the people at mms (or those there when i was) are good people that are doing their best to help a group of troubled girls emerge with more self confidence and self-esteem. mms did that for me.
i have read a lot of back and forth between women discrediting each others experience. and unfortunately i've jumped right into the mix and done the same thing. i'm sorry if i invalidated anyone's feelings about their time during and after mms.
i know it was positive for me, but i also do have nightmares about being sent back. i haven't had one in a while, but they are scarry. i think those dreams have less to do with mms itself than with a time in my life where any control i had was taken away from me. getting "locked up" is not something i would wish on anyone because i do think it has had lasting traumatic effects, even if the experience itself ended up being positive.
-Sarah

5
i'm not happy all the time, that's not what i'm saying. all i'm saying is that there is a lot of bitterness in this forum and while i think that it sad, i think putting all the blame on a program that helped lots of us is uncalled for and unfair. i looked at the web site for the Straight thing, and i thought it was a joke. i forwarded the link to some of my friends. if that place is real then it is total insanity. comparing mms to that place is absurd.

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so, because i disagree with you, I am just another brainwashed mms flunkie?
i do think that mms is a great place. i don't think it was abusive, i think it was tough. it was supposed to be. i understand that for some people it wasn't a positive experience and that is really sad, but just because some of us had wonderful experiences there doesn't mean that we don't have minds of our own. like i've said before, i don't think it is or was a perfect, but the good far out weighs the bad.
women writing here may not have specifically said that they are unhappy, but spending all this time logging complaints on to a forum, doesn't exactly scream happy and well-adjusted.
i just happened upon this sight and was excited because i thought it might be a way to reconnect with people i had lost touch with. what i've found instead has made me sad. not sad for me, but sad for some of you, so trapped in bitterness that you can't or won't move on.
[ This Message was edited by: sarahf on 2005-05-12 14:01 ]

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Mission Mountain School / so so confused
« on: May 12, 2005, 03:36:00 PM »
as much as i love mms and am grateful for my experience there.  i also have dreams of being sent back. usually in my dreams i am going to visit and they tell me i can't leave. i try to protest sighting my age, sobriety and success, but it still isn't enough.
i think that getting "locked up" is an incredibly traumatic experience, but i still don't think that it's the school's fault.
i don't have the dreams very often anymore. but when i do i wake up scared and sad. i left mms almost 10 years ago, but it still remains one of the defining times in my life. i think both the growth and the scars of that experience probably won't go away.
i'm not sure if that's good or bad.

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Mission Mountain School / For Colleen Harrington
« on: May 12, 2005, 03:28:00 PM »
i seriously think yall are fucked up venting at colleen this way. for whatever it's worth i truly love john and collen, and mike and deb most of all.
they gave me the tough love and support that my spoiled, fucked up ass needed.
if you hate them, then why are you giving them so much of your energy?!
MOVE ON!!!

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Mission Mountain School / Where is Ron?
« on: May 12, 2005, 02:49:00 PM »
i thought it was you, but with all the anonymous nonsense in this forum I didn't want to reveal your identity. i'll email you my phone #.
how the fuck are ya!

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Mission Mountain School / Where is Ron?
« on: May 12, 2005, 02:35:00 PM »
jen-n-juice?
which jen are you? I was there from 94-96 too. This is Sarah Fontana.

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To quote the great (and yes I mean great) Mike Finn, "Fair only happens in Pomona once a year."
If any one files a law suit against MMS I will be on the front lines on their behalf.
While I don't think that it is or was a perfect place, I am hear writing because of it. I cherish my time there and my life after it. If you hate MMS so much then move on and forget about it. They are not responsible for you misery. You are.
I am probably sounding really harsh, but MMS was as difficult as it was rewarding and I have spent the last 10 years since I left working my ass off to have a successful life. Not success as they define it, but success in feeling happy and saitsfied that I am making the right choices for me. If you've made poor choices and feel guilty or unhappy that is not the school's problem.
Things that I have been descirbed in these pages as abuse I think is way off. I was forced to eat food I hate, and made to perform all manner of physical labor against my will. But that was the whole point. It wasn't about the food or the task, but about relinquishing control and changing. Again to quote Mike, "The best you could do got you there," so if you think that you would have been better off without MMS I think you are probably wrong.

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