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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

yeah but you ain't karen.

Duh!  :rofl:

jesus.. how stupid can 1 lady be?

 :wave:

Are you an just an idiot or did your mom drop you on your head as a child? OF COURSE THEY USE RESTRAINTS. You would not be asking this question if kid went willingly -- SO YOU ALREADY know the answer -- don't you? The real question is, what are you going to do about it?
Friend of mine was like you -- not comfortable with strangers in home taking her son -- she took him herself. Ground up fifty mg's of valium and put it in the mashed potatos-- when he fell asleep, father helped load him in the van -- next thing he knew he was at program. Simple, easy and fairly safe.
Don't let the losers here persuade you with their lies and brainwashing. This will not affect your future relationship -- my kid loves me -- the program taught him that.

My daughter cannot control her food intake. I have tried everything. I even put a bike lock on the refrigerator door, she snuck out late out at night -- sigh -- for McDonalds dollar menu items. She says ala carte items make her feel less fat. I am at witts end. She is eating herself in oblivion, and I cannot stand to watch her destroy herself for one more day. I am wondering if there are escorts and programs that specialize in behavior modification to train kids not to eat themselves to death.
My daughter doesn't need therapy, she does not have emotional problems. I think it is glandular. I am watching 'The Biggest Loser' on NBC currently, and I want something like that.
She will not go willingly though, so it needs to have boundaries and fences, and I need escorts to pick her up. Instead of picking her up at my home, I hope to meet the escorts at McDonalds to avoid a scene in front of my neighbors. Everyone on this board is so exceptional in nature, I cannot wait for your heartfelt advice on this sensitive matter.
My daughter would kill me if she knew I posted this, but I want you to understand the severity of her problem.

Karen, you forgot to mention that you're going to sue.  You're slipping...

I predict that within 6 months you will be sending your son to a program. You will not be able to manage him at home, and his drug use will greatly increase. Perhaps wilderness is not the right place due to his anxiety disorder, but there are very good reasons why the kids can only communicate by letter. The family dynamics are usually a big part of the underlying problem, and need to be removed from the equation before progress can be made. Sue that, bitch.

Out of respect to the lady who actually bothered to come on here with a screen name (for what it's worth) and actually engage in some dialogue, I will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

For starters, and this makes a huge difference in my mind, did you and your son agree on wilderness camp/boarding school, or did he go under some kind of coercive threat.

Second, as for alternate solutions, while this isn't available everywhere at the moment, there is what is called a systems of care model that brings in all of the agencies that work with "at-risk" youth (probation, mental health, social services, education) and gets them communicating with each other.  Where along with input from the youth themselves, services are provided to prevent the youth from having to leave home.  If it's an issue of family dynamics and the adults in the family are at wits end, they can offer respite care, where a social service agency will either take the youth on a weekend trip, or provide "babysitting service" while the family takes a trip of their own.  It has proven extremely effective in preventing youth from having to leave the home.

So to answer your question, yes there are alternatives to placing youth in facilities against their will.  

As for the "make up year", I believe that question has already been answered.  I hope that this response answers some of your questions, and that you may have a more balanced view of wilderness programs/TBS's in the future.

Brian

Hiring escorts was one of the most "humane" things we ever did for our son. We had lost control. We could not possibly have gotten him to a program without him running from us and perhaps being lost to us forever. The compassionate, professional escorts we hired had an extremely difficult time transporting our son, but they never once gave up or abused him in any way, even when he nearly killed them and himself by grabbing the steering wheel of the car from the backseat. My son never questioned our use of escorts, even in his anger at being in wilderness and later at TBS. Today we are the proud parents of a student-athlete who is achieving his full potential.
We didn't talk to our son for 7 or 8 weeks. We received and wrote weekly letters which were faxed in both directions. I think it is better for the kids- and the parents- NOT to speak. Obviously the dialogue at home was not productive, and that dynamic can interfere with the therapeutic process. The therapist at wilderness knew when the time was right for a short phone call.
Do you not understand that for many families having the kid remain in the home is simply not an option? When the kid is violent and dangerous to himself and others and is truly ruining his or her life, a program is the only chance. Perhaps many of you were placed in bad programs. That does not mean that there are not good ones out there.

When I found a tape of my son having sex with his girlfriend, I thought about revenge. Instead, I watch it daily and masturbate to it. He doesn't come around much anymore.

Have any of you had to deal with some major "blips" in your educational path? My son got kicked out of a disastrous boarding school in March of his soph year do to a combination of factors- some his issues, some the school's. None of the issues were academic. He spent a year in a very structured boarding school with good academics and a strong support system and was admitted to a top prep boarding school in the NE where he is doing a 2nd junior year and will do a senior year. His academics were strong throughout all this upheaval. His emotional growth has been impressive, and he is regarded as a mature young man and a strong contributor to his current school. He is also likely to be a recruited runner which he will use to help him get an edge for some top schools. Everyone on this board seems so exceptional- any situations similar to ours? Thanks. Karen