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Topics - Hell on Wheels

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CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / How To Skate at CEDU
« on: June 28, 2004, 10:28:00 PM »
Develop MONO, it worked for me, I stayed in my bed for 2 months, lost 30 pounds, but didn't have to go to raps, nor did staff give me shit. Of course I was seriously sick, but I got jello and good shit.

Know who to run over and who's ass to kiss. Often times kids would fuck with the wrong staff. It is not a one time thing, you have to carefully choose and decide on your course of actions, because they will follow you your entire tour. Believe me, me and one certain staff went at it for 2 years. On the bright side, it was a public war, and if you got a reaction out a staff in front of everybody, you were doing it right.

Remember that you will always have enemies, make good friends.

Do not buy in more than you can get out. Mainly meaning don't lose yourself in CEDU's bullshit. Going along with some of it is the secret to self preservation.

Fuck your parents, you've lost them, so why give them the time of day. Then after a bit, suddenly come on strong in the program, make amends with the parents, and voila, staff come to give you a plane ticket, life is good. Remember, you have to be doing "good" to pull this little stunt off.

Sneak shit in, doesn't matter what, pot, cigs, food, clothes, music, books, it's all good.

Be a winner, it is a game that nobody wins, but if you keep your head above water, it will be easier to bear. You get down, you do dumb shit, and it goes real bad.

I got nothin'. I'll keep thinking of shit. Anybody else has anything, please add.

Oh, wait, apparently there may be therapists that hook you up with some fat shit, checking out good tunes and enjoying something nice to eat. Bwahahahahhaahhahhhahhahhaha........wahahahhahahhhhahahhah....heeheeheeheee......hiccup.....harharhardeeharhar......snort, sniffle, wipe eyes....hohohohowahahahhahahhahhoooo
But if it makes ya feel better, sometimes I lie to myself to make me feel better too :grin:

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Ideas
« on: June 13, 2004, 12:18:00 AM »
Hey, just to figure out how people are feeling, I think it would be kinda cool if people would post something they hated about CEDU, and then how they would change it into something better. Keeping in mind that you cannot simply completely overhaul something i.e. remove commissary and instead shop at A& that is too far out there.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Staff???????
« on: June 05, 2004, 03:04:00 AM »
John Aaron and Tony got the axe huh???? well I guess I sure did get a little good news today. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA although Bryant Gumbel did not tell me that. And there is no longer fighting in Lebanon. Ohoho, it is time for News and Goods, my dear friends who are through the I and Me...... hahhah, boy that little exercise was way wacked.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Anonymous Staff
« on: May 28, 2004, 12:51:00 AM »
I know that this forums main bag is anonymity, that is what I like about it, but these anonymous staff are pissing me off. You talk big and have all sorts of CEDU closure stories, but so far there is nada for evidence. I do know that if you post your name, you will be fired, that much I do know, but should that matter?? should it matter if you get fired from an abusive program?? I don't think it should, maybe you could take your fake college diploma and get a job somewhere else. Actually should is the operative word here. You should quit. Immediately. It just seems like there are a lot of mixed messages being sent. For instance former RMA staff person gets a little CEDU in his/her/it's writings on here. Telling me that you buy into the program just a little bit too much. But I don't know. If you had real balls and were important enough in the system, you could make a difference. But if you post on here about how you hate it and then go to the school and treat kids like shit because that is the status quo, that is some bullshit. I don't know, but hey, I don't have to look into your mirror in the morning, or have you deluded yourself to the point that you feel like superman when you pull up in front of the lodge to begin work??

Not to change the subject from the good news or anything, but I have a valid point to raise.

We all agree that CEDU is evil and bad and all that jazz. CEDU, Casa, Monarch (new in Montana run by ex-CEDUites, and a phsychiatrist that I hate is a big influence there also, I'm sure that Maximus knows of him, and is as fond of him as I am.) And all these schools are the wrong place to send your child. That is no shit.

But I have thought this through, and it goes a little something like this..... Where do you send a child?? Huh? where in the hell do you send a child that you love dearly, but is a menace to himself or others. Who is resentful towards any type of authority real or perceived. Who cares nothing for others, and is headed down the road to prison or young death.

Answer: Any place that promises to help him/her. Because from experience I know that 99% of the kids, me included did not like going to see a shrink, or psychologist, hated it with a passion.

Now a good plenty of CEDU kids, especially at RMA, were there because mommy and daddy had a little disposable income and just needed a place to stuff their kid during the teenage years. A lot of what I saw at RMA was kids trying to reestablish a relationship with their parents. I did see that at BCA also. It was a little different with me, I just didn't care too much about a relationship with my parents or family. Many kids did not have a good home, situations where if a parent would have spent a little time and love and attention, instead of money, it would have gone a long ways.

But for some kids, me included, we were the problem, not anyone else to blame. Oh sure there is plenty to blame, but as far as upbringing and all, it was fine and normal. We were just bad kids and troublemakers.

To make a long story short, stories like the ones we write on this board is educating parents. Without counseling or any bullshit. But it is not my parents fault that they never pulled me. I blamed them for years afterwards, and in the past two years have let it go. I still blame them for not truly listening to me when I was there, trying to convey how horrible it was by tone of voice and mannerisms when I was around them (because they were monitoring phone calls....wasn't that a cute, fascist touch)

Maybe what I am trying to say is this..... People that were not students, (and this time I am not slamming therapists) will never truly know the unrelenting pain and pressure CEDU puts upon one as a student. I'm just a little tired of people patronizing students. Blaming everything but them. After all it was my actions and big mouth that got me sent away. CEDU never solicited me or my parents. If I were my parents, I would have sent me away too. But they couldn't have known what was in store, the internet was nothing like it is today, just a few bbs things going on, but nothing more, so this wealth of information that we have today was not available. Ex-students of these programs had no place to tell their stories. And now with the possibility of a school closure looming, we still need to talk. Because these types of schools are still a popular commodity. And fo rme, the closure of one school is still not closure, it is great news, but it is not closure. I want to see the headstones of every prick that ever worked at CEDU... And I want to see all those who were good people at CEDU find a school that does the right things.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Don't be fooled by my take responsibility talk, that is important, and I am not giving CEDU any props.

Cedu sucks, it sucks so fucking bad that sometimes at night I can still feel it sucking. It is the same feeling young men and a few women felt in the sixties, as the Freedom Bird cleared Tan Son Nhut airspace without being shot down. And for many of them the war was not over. And for me, it is not over and will not be for as long as I can see. It ebbs and flows, good days and bad days. But as long as certain songs still affect me, and flashbacks occur and leave me standing still for a moment to get my bearings, it isn't over. There is not a day that goes by that I would not go back to fight again, it has that pull on me, that if I could take the place of another, I would do it in a heartbeat. But that is impossible. That place steals souls and puts out the lights in children's eyes, they will pay for what they have done, that is my one wish in this world.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Cedu Kicks Ass!!
« on: May 18, 2004, 12:03:00 AM »
Whine all you want but CEDU kicks some mean ass. And I will prove it.

 It's better than being held as a POW, or in the iraqi militants case pseudo-POWs. It is better than being shot to death, eating rat poison. It is better than slowly filling up with shit and then painful death. It is so much cooler than being Bubba's bitch. And CEDU is preferable to being drawn and quartered in the town square at noon. I like to call my stint at CEDU "Fantasy Land," or if I am in a particularly jovial mood
I like to call it "SURVIVOR Down on the farm" because after all it is muchos better than eating shit naked in a field of turnips (although I've seen that on the internet, obviously not CEDU folk) I mean come on, where else could a thirteen year old boy get so much direction in his life?? It was fucking great!! having to dredge shit up in front of god and everybody, I mean I felt so small it was amazing!! I could have fit on the head of a pin, just like a disney movie. And what was more, they had these people called staff there. Now these people were so cool, they would order you around and threaten you wow, what a trip. The best part about them was that often times after work, they would smoke pot and get drunk, just like we wished we could. It was like we were living vicariously through our staff people. The coolest was that these staff were not so high and mighty towards us, in fact many of them didn't even have college degrees. And some didn't even have high school diplomas, what a riot. Oh before I forget we used to go through these things called propheets. We would sit in a circle for hours verbally beating down our fellow students in a super fun rap thingie. And what was funny was when they would bring up say a girl getting raped, and the staff would use it against her. Sometimes you would have to stand up in front of the group and get berated for everything you did wrong, and that was cool, it was like god was radiating wisdom down upon you. Oh speaking of god, they only let one religion be practiced openly. And that was so much fun for the rest of us to see them treat some kids special. It just made my heart warm to see someone else getting hooked up with fatty priviledges. We did get to play spades and card games all the time, to better prep some of us for a life in prison. But by far the neatest thing I ever saw was these things called bans. If you were hanging out with someone too much, they would put you on bans, where you could not talk or even look at the person. It was so cool, because it made you look for new friendships, with freaky people. Wow how neat.They would use anything they could against you, and I was like wow, how did you know I did that. Man I tell you, if you have never tried it, just do it dude, CEDU rocks and that is all there is to it. I will talk more about this later.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / I found this!
« on: May 06, 2004, 09:45:00 PM »
I was rummaging through my stuff a couple days ago and found a poem that I wrote when I was at BCA. Being on this site made me truly wonder and question what had happened to me at BCA. It made me wonder if I had been turned by the staff into a power student. If staff used my power and abilities to help them. It made me wonder if maybe I was only in it for me. And especially I wondered if I really knew I was in hell. Well this piece of work pretty much sums it up for me. I wrote lots of other things, but I think I lost them, but I do remember writing this one. I was 2.5 months from going home when I wrote this so I was definitely upper school by then. I may have been on my goofy full-time, but I'm not too sure. Here it is.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / What I miss most
« on: April 27, 2004, 11:05:00 PM »
When I talk about CEDU, and remember stuff, the bad stuff takes second place to my friends. That is what I miss the most. Cause when you were there, there was no democrats, no Republicans, no big burning political issue, no bills, no fancy cars, Just you and your friends. Hell if there was a big argument, it wasn't about whether or not war is justified, it was about sports, or I guess sometimes about how tough someone was out in the real world. Friends would help you through tough times, and keep your head up when shit was going wrong. Raps were entertaining and fun sometimes, but sometimes they were a good place to get help from the kids. you weren't fighting your personal battles alone, there was always someone else who knew how you felt. Not necessarily any of the brothers keeper propheet junk, just another kid rising above his own demons and giving you a hand. There is so much bad talk here about CEDU ruining lives, well that is true, but through my own hard work I got my family back, and I watched people grow up too, with none of the force fed shit. Years later I turned my own back on my family, but that is for wholly different reasons. CEDU made me grow up, probably a little too fast, and I probably heard a few things I really didn't need to hear. I also heard a few things I needed to hear. A few of the staff treated us like the real world, I didn't like it at the time, but years later I can relate. Come on, no one here can tell me that every kid was an angel, I sure as hell wasn't, I did plenty of thigs that were as unacceptable there as it would have been out here. I got my ass chewed plenty of times. And there was times I took a bum beef, I haven't forgotten about the slights and bad times, but I can't look at some of my relatives that smacked me around as a kid without wanting to hit them with a pipe. It is life, I've had a few failures outside, but I've had an awful lot of success. And giving props where props are due, I think CEDU left me with a bad case of little mans. With every success I have I kick CEDU in the teeth. I don't forget how far down I was when I was there, I won't ever forget the feeling that I could not control my life when I was there, looking over your shoulder, living a fucked up life to please the man. Someday I want to look down on CEDU and all the things that they do, and piss all over them. Not every kid will be sucessful in life as nice as that would be. Some kids were just plain shitheads who were born to fuck up, and that's what they did. I'll never blame CEDU for that, I'll blame parents. Spoiling their kid rotten and never asking anything in return. Letting their kid run over them.....all this has nothing to do with CEDU. Having Flash backs, feeling like someone is standing over your shoulder, That is CEDU all the way however. But so many kids when I was there had to learn responsibility, and it is a motherfucker of a lesson to learn. Kids had to learn reward/consequence which is another hard hard lesson. Of course there were some kids that already knew that shit so it made CEDU a cakewalk in general areas. Unfortuneately instead of being yelled at to simply do chores, we had to jump right into thinking up disclosures, or staff found other ways to give us hell. It was a game, which so far the clock has not stopped at least for me. Shit, there was times you would be on top of your game, really kicking ass, bulletproof, and then the rules would change, the favorite rule change was bans. They would suddenly throw you into a situation where you were gonna screw it all up, they would put you on bans from your friends, "getting you out of your comfort zone" then it was bring on the work assignments, cause I will talk to my friends. I used to think it was a lot like war, but now I know better. More like Prisoners of War. Only difference is that when you are a POW, you know you are within the enemy. CEDU looked good on the outside, and the enemy would change from day to day. I had very few people that were steady at being at my throat.
DO NOT let this take away from our POWs, their trials and tribulations make our stays at CEDU seem like a warm spring day. The brave men and women in the armed forces that spent quality time in the stalags and labor camps, Bataan, China and Korea, Vietnam, Iraq. NONE of us here are fit to even carry their lunch, and that is no shit. But when you read POW stories, it seems as if CEDU has modeled their system after them.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Websites
« on: April 26, 2004, 10:45:00 PM »
Hey, just for a good time I logged onto the various CEDU affiliates websites....and Laughed my ass off. I know it's not funny, but the smoke and mirror action is so strong, it is ridiculous. It just seemed that they had forgottten a few key parts of the experience. If some computer genius would get the websites up to date a little bit, maybe a bit more "real" that would be fantastic. Although LaTresa's last name has made me laugh for years now. Pemp.... now if that's not living up to a name, I'm not sure what is. hahahhahhahahhaha  You guys should check them out, all kidding aside, because it is truly sad and funny and remarkable that CEDU even fools itself.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / GOOD MEMORIES ONLY
« on: April 24, 2004, 10:52:00 PM »
Hey all this bitching and griping gets me pissed off. It is good to talk about that stuff, but I remember the good times also, whether it was funny shit in dorms, raps, sitting around the house, whatever. Because I know good and damn well there were some good times. Just like war vets, who remember the bad times, but they also remember getting drunk and outrunning MP's.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Just some dudes
« on: April 18, 2004, 02:18:00 AM »
[ This Message was edited by: Hell on Wheels on 2004-07-11 00:43 ]

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / All BCA Stand up
« on: April 12, 2004, 12:35:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: Hell on Wheels on 2004-07-07 19:35 ]

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Just read this stuff
« on: April 11, 2004, 11:05:00 PM »
Hey, sit back and read this stuff, and try to put it into some semblance of order, try real hard because you can't. Any school or program should be able to be made sense of, not this one. This stuff is so fucked and wacked out, no one but those who have seen the elephant can relate. (which means everyone who has left cedu who can see it for an evil entity). that is a problem that must be solved, people must know in plain talk what the hell is happening up there, that it is not just "Problem Kids", yeah we have problems, but fixing abuse issues with abuse isn't a real genius solution, although they have done it for years. Part of the problem is that people who leave simply feel good enough to be out, and just want to run instead of battling, which is perfectly okay. I don't know, I guess I'll never know........I still firmly believe that CEDU Mentally rapes you, repercussions of their treatment of you is a lot like a rape victim. Stockholm syndrome, Chinese brainwashing in the Korean war, all the same. Some people compare it to the Army, which it is so not. Sure the army breaks you down physically, and tunes up your attitude, turns you into a person with the ability to kill (not a killer) but they do not take your ability to think and reason for yourself away, because they need you in your own state of mind when the shit hits the fan. Other militaries in history have owned people body and soul, but usually by fanaticism (Hitler, Communist, japanese stuff) I am wandering so badly here I will quit typing for now, but my god this stuff pisses me off so bad. But here we sit on our duffs in front of our computers, because the people that are really supposed to look after us have their heads up their asses with Brown schools paying them off.....apparently justice is blind and clothed (thanks John Ashcroft) I always wonder if Ashcroft has ever beat off, he should try it sometime, it might surprise him. He could practice for a while, then go for the real thing. what a weirdo.

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