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Messages - BarnardlyB

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Mission Mountain School / where are they??
« on: July 08, 2006, 11:47:00 PM »
Does anyone remember lou?? cant remember her last name. she had to leave due to her mom not being able to afford the place.
Kathleen Hamelett?
can anyone help with the girls that never came back or left early??
what about karli ralphs??? crissy blalock?

Mission Mountain School / Missing Alumni
« on: July 07, 2006, 10:46:00 PM »
I have both katie and kaywins info,...both are doing quite well.

Mission Mountain School / try and look at it this way
« on: July 05, 2006, 10:48:00 PM »
On 2006-07-04 15:08:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I appreciated what you had to say Betsy even though I think my years there were equally as difficult as anyones. I hope to meet you some day."

Thank you anon, I hope to meet you someday too. Feel free to message me any time.
Emotionally I beleive all girls had the same hard time, physically 94-97 were damn hard.....

Kat, I don't try and a blindly attribute everyones being alive to there experience at MMS. But everyone is alive due to the turn of events in there lives, which concequently was MMS......can you see what im saying.
We all lived through it and some of us are more worse for wear than others....thats all I guess.
I don't try to piss you off, yet that seems all I do.

you are you
I am I,
Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful[ This Message was edited by: BarnardlyB on 2006-07-05 19:50 ]

Mission Mountain School / try and look at it this way
« on: July 02, 2006, 02:52:00 AM »
"I found your post about as useful as wet toilet paper after eating soap"

Wow, that must have been quite the experience for you....

"You still failed to answer why you had to go out of your way to mention how quiet it was followed by things you knew would stir things up. I still am wondering why you made such a big deal about the silence? It makes me wonder if you have some other reason besides posting your opinion and experience with people. Do you find yourself helpful?"

The reason I mentioned the silence, was because I find it interesting. simple fact, no other reason.  I don't know if I would say I find myself helpful, but I do put questions into peoples minds and to an extend make them think possibly diffently or twice about what is being said. Maybe thats helpful, its up to how the person sees it or takes its.
I never said I thought MMS was 100% wonderful 24, 7 but I did find it helpful. I don't think many girls would be here today, fighting for regulation in boarding schools if they hadn't gone to many girls knew of boarding schools like MMS before attending MMS. I didn't. I was very very young yes, but I had never heard of a theraputic boading school. There were the few girls that had signed themselves in and were sorry later, and I did stop to think about the reality of the school at that time, but like ive said many times before,(and i know its not an exuse) I knew no other way.

I am not the girl many of you knew at MMS, yes I do have my PMS moments, but I am far from the B that you knew.
The reason I laughed at the anon post, was mostly becuase of what I have been going through with my family at the moment. I go through my life and I try not to judge others, becuase you never know what they are going through,....anon, you might want to do the same. Its been more than a painful process with my mom so be a little bit less forward when it comes to mom issues, and my reaction wont be so far misunderstood. I have been overly busy with school, and two jobs, and hopped on the site for a sec, and yes my mom has forgotten to hug me for years, thanks for asking......

I do see the purpose of this site, but I don't see the point of going over and over and over and over and over every little thing,...and turning thoughts negative that don't need to be.

We all still struggle with the 'aftermath' of an experience such as MMS, and I have had others worse since MMS,I think being raped it far worse than anything I had to go through there. I would give anyhting to have it all back if I didn't have to relive the day I was raped. Esp becuase it was my first time....
As for the 'aftermath' of MMS, I still to this day question every little thing that I do, is that good? or is that bad? who knows....
there is no handbook and rules on life, so why should there be when it comes to different peoples opionions???
Even though our opinions differ so much, I will always love each and every person that was a part of my experince, and as part of who I am as person I will never turn them down, or act supirior (see I can't spell it) to them, they need me....Im there. And that is how I am with each and everyone of my freinds to this current day.

Once again, I am not the same B many of you have known.

Mission Mountain School / try and look at it this way
« on: June 29, 2006, 10:14:00 PM »
On 2006-06-29 09:04:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I find it interesting that you,B, make the point that it is quite for a few days only to post something that is going to stir up conflict.

Do you need some attention?

Did your mother forget to hug you?

or is it that you secretly need the conflict on this board? Do I want you to keep it going in order to argue you way to feeling superior?

... just something to ponder

Oh and before you talk about people being quite and how hard it is to remain angry look back on what you posted  POT KETTLE BLACK"

HAHAHAHAHAHA, funny stuff.....
esp if you knew my history with my mom, that comment,......AAAAHHHHHHH.....ahhhh good stuff. Thanks for the laugh, my side hurts now.....

Mission Mountain School / try and look at it this way
« on: June 29, 2006, 12:32:00 AM »
Ill try one more time....
I find it intersting when people have nothing to say for a few day....its get tiring being so angry huh.
Well, heres my view and please feel free to say what you want.

I know MMS wasn't peaches a cream, I know we all had a hard time. Esp those of us that were there in the beginning.....I almost think more so, my generation than any.
But, seriously girls, where would you be without having had the MMS experience?? Try and forget all the bad for a second.
Would you really be here today fighting for the things in your life that you find very important and necessary??
Kat youve said many times you were ready to kill yourself before MMS and look at you now. Your trying to change the world and make things better for the people in your life and for people you don't even know. Would that have happened if you didn't have that drastic turn in your life??
Girls are doctors, running there own buisnesses, lawyers, and bakers, (WHO HOOOO).  But seriously, is there truely nothing to be greatful for?? Was it really THAT bad, and did it all turn out to truely be shit??
Okay im ready....but please, just think about.

Mission Mountain School / wikipedia
« on: June 23, 2006, 11:31:00 PM »
On 2006-06-23 17:55:00, Anonymous wrote:


On 2006-06-22 23:50:00, Anonymous wrote:

"this made me laugh."

 ha ha ha tee hee.  love it! that's great!!! classic.  now we have some truth going."

Please, get over yourselves.

Anywhoo, anyone actually remmeber PNAIS...god those days were sooo boring but i remember being happy  we didn't have to do our daily activites, was something new .....

Mission Mountain School / Addie Harris???
« on: June 11, 2006, 11:02:00 PM »
Many of us agree with you anon,
I see where you are coming from and hear your point in a general, overall experience.
Yet, many girls had a good time at MMS and their experience was very different from yours.
As babylove asks over and over, why treat the girls who you dissagree with, with the same view and attituide you blame john for??  why critize and ridicule us the same way you believe John treated eveyone, esp you????

We all have our own views and im personally willing to do what it takes to make this even.....
even if it means running backwards laps... :lol:
I don't know where to begin but I can find a way and im willing.
I didn't think this site was supposed to be about 'im right your wrong' but if it has to be...lets do this.   No one here is right and no one is wrong.....each of us wants the other to see all points and views...lets ALL try and do that.
I personally feel connected to all the girls I went to MMS with, even the ones I interned with, no  matter what we all have that connection.  Lets not let a simple thing as a different view split us all in half....

Mission Mountain School / Get together?
« on: June 06, 2006, 10:42:00 PM »
Now i really have to come out there and see you.
hope all else is well.

Mission Mountain School / Get together?
« on: June 03, 2006, 08:50:00 PM »
would love to go shayna,
Im in California and I know a TON of other girls are too.
When, where and how. Also ive tried you email address and its not working.....maybe i have big fingers   :lol:

anywho, im down to do whatever just let me know.

Mission Mountain School / secrecy and annonymousness here
« on: June 01, 2006, 07:26:00 PM »
"id like to think i'm someone important!!"
I didn't mean that in a mean way. I thought maybe youd be a name that is like a sentor or something!!!!

"Legal like becuz of confidential legal issues  but i dont think anyone else is in this position so I thinkits weird that people are so secretive dont you think? "
I do agree with you that is odd people are so secretive. I do understand when it comes to some of the older, older students becsue only very few of us would know them.

If this is who I think it Is CM. Once again. I want to once again, aplogize for anything that I did to you that still haunts you today. I hate the idea of you being in pain because of me. I am very differnet today than who I was back then.
I still love you, always did, you were one of the girls who i admired and truely thought is beautiful.

Mission Mountain School / secrecy and annonymousness here
« on: May 31, 2006, 08:44:00 PM »
Legal reasons?? Are you someone important or are you raging war on the school. If it is for legal reason, I would suggest not posting at all.

I guess alot of us alumni, many that I know have come to this site, have seen the reaction to many posts people have written and have decided against posting.
They feel this website is hateful and not helpful in anyway. Some have posted once or twice and that was the end of that.
Why put yourself out there to be ridiculed and judged, looked down upon and talked down to, if you don't have to. Why take the risk of being belittled (like many of you talk about having happened to you at MMS)  by the girls who once supported you and loved you?? Its the same type of judgement and treatment you ALL express having happened to you at MMS....why repeat it. Isn't this supposed to be a supportive forum??

Mission Mountain School / Stephanie Smith??
« on: May 31, 2006, 12:35:00 AM »
dear anon,
I remember steph, please let her know that. I was a new student as she was graduating.
Let her know im thinking of her and wish her nothing but goodness. I have thought of her often over the years, as I have many girls.
I would love to get in touch iwth her if shes interested.
my info is [email protected]
I also have Katies info if shes interested, i could email it you, after I ask katies permission first of course.
Please pass this on. Thanks

Mission Mountain School / for anyone who care......way off topic
« on: May 30, 2006, 01:30:00 AM »
So,  As I sit here and look over the girls pics at Myspace, I wonder, what ahppened to us.
Many of us promised to keep in touch, promised to love eachother when we left, promised to be there and be around.
I have about 4 friends from MMS that I still keep in contact with on a regular basis. I have found others who I was once close with and seems to all be fading away.
 My life is nothing of what it was. I look back to my time and I wonder where she went.
I was strong, (physically) and now im a bundle of blob.
25 year old and to I was my greatest at MMS.
My parents constant struggle to tell me they know who I am but I beg to differ.
I fight a stuggle daily in my soul and its not pretty.
Was it all a lie?? did we just love eachother becuse we knew no other way? yes life moves on, yet I feel as if im the only one who feels such a strong bond with all the girls and most are mad at me for my stand and don't like me becuse of it. that hurts the most. who cares about staff approval but if you girls don't approve, that was and is always a big thing for me.

How could life be so simple yet seem so hard. We struggle and work to make ends meet and at the end of the day, what for. People don't change much, everyone seems old and set in there ways. who are we to tell them different.
why is my glass half empty when to me its full.
I fight a fight that Im not even asked to fight and looked down apon for.

Its overwhelming to me now. I have no idea where to turn. wil it work out or will people always tell me a better way.
I remember being so scared coming home from school and not wanting to drink, or smoke or have sex, even though i never had. and now, a drink after work is at times, what  I look forward to. Im sad, worn down, and am tired of proving myself to people. Im angry again and im angry that im angry. I hurt again and I hate that I hurt.
a bad and hurtful past and people don't even beleive me. A year after MMS I had a terrible experience and my parents still to this day don't believe me. if pictures are truly a pathway to the soul are all the girls truely happy and so carefree???
Ive never been overly school smart, and never been attractive, so i take what i can get. But is that really what life is all about?? looks brains, what about just being decent and alive.
Im angry again, im lonley again and on the out side my life is not ideal but im happy, is that enough??

sorry, a some what tipsy post.
don't be mean,.....just rambles.

you are you
I am I,
Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful[ This Message was edited by: BarnardlyB on 2006-05-29 22:32 ]

Mission Mountain School / Addie Harris???
« on: May 29, 2006, 02:18:00 PM »
"If you had spoken to Blaire, for instance, who recenly killed herself about MMS,"

Just for everyones info.
Blaire, who yes had a ton of issues about MMS.
DID NOT, I repeat DID NOT set out and kill herself on that day specifically about MMS. Have you talked to Chris Kat?? On that day, MMS was far from her mind.

you are you
I am I,
Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful[ This Message was edited by: BarnardlyB on 2006-05-29 11:22 ]

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