Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I know I should know better than to give a response to this person but enash, whoever you are, if you hate scientology why do you support it so lavishly with your tax dollars?  Don't like Islam either?; well tough because your money supports it.  All churches need to do is become legitimate non-profits and they can have all the "freedoms" granted therein as well as the obligation to open their books.  If they don't want to do that, if they want the "freedom" to preach politics from the pulpit, fine.  Just pay their taxes and they can do what they want.  People died for that freedom; the least the church can do is pay their taxes for it.  As of now they have the "freedom" to collect untold amounts of cash, live lavish lifestyles and not pay a dime of tax on it.  Nor do they have to disclose how much or where it comes from; a "freedom" no one else in this country has.  For each dollar they collect they have a dollars worth of buying power, far more than you will ever have.  And hey, if you like North Korea so much I have a ticket in your name.  I'm sure most people on this forum would welcome the opportunity for you to sample North Korea's "freedoms", which, hopefully, do not come with internet access.

Now let the abuse begin.

Its a lot more complicated than just "pulling down your pants" and viola you know what gender you are.  I know of many people who were born with the genitalia of both sexes; eventually one atrophies and one takes over.  I worked at a hospital where this happened several times; as the child matured many timed the name and sex had to be changed on their medical charts.

Sometimes this phenomenon is not as apparent; it is more a part of the sense of who you feel you really are. I think it would be hard to "induce" transgendering" if a person has no doubts; I would like to know what that nurse was basing her remarks on.

One more thing:  if the lady does not want to face what she went through because it would hurt her parents then I hope she will write and tell us exactly how that program helped her.  What specific "treatment" helped.

Dear Torn,  I am so glad you decided not to send your daughter away.  Not only would it be damaging but you would miss the most important years of her growth and you can never get that back.

She is showing how motivated she can be when she has internalized certain knowledge like seeing for herself there are certain steps needed to be taken in order to get what she wants: school/job.  That is something she had to learn from experience, not from being told.  It is good that you are in therapy but be really careful because there are a lot of incompetent or just ineffective ones out there.  As a mother of three grown kids looking back I can say without a doubt that each time I took an "expert's" advice against my own instinct it was disasterous.  Conversely each time I ignored the experts and external pressure and followed my instincts it turned out to be the exact right thing.  You, not the experts, have to live with your decisions so let them be yours.

It may be time to ease up on the "help"...psychiatrically speaking...for your daughter because the more you try to help her that way the more she interalizes the feeling that something is wrong with her that needs fixing.  Something both her parents find so wrong that not even they can fix like they used to when she was little.  This  can be depressing because she can't fix it nor can the experts.   The more experts that are involved with their varing and sometimes conflicting advice, the less faith and more resentment she will have  as well as the feeling that she must be really bad if even the experts can't fix it.. Also do not tell yourself or anyone else, especially your daughter that think you have failed as a parent.  We all feel inadequate and know we can do better but when we guilt ourselves then it is our children who feel like a defective product of our faulty parenting.  I used to do that; now if it comes up I always tell my kids I must have been a great parent because they turned out so wonderful.  I find whatever positive trait I can and focus on that. Of course it has to be sincere and honest to work.  Ask her to teach  or show you something; bring out the mentor in her so you have something honest to praise. I also found what worked for me is to lighten up and find the humor in things.  We get so intense we forget to have fun and laugh with our kids.  Many annoyances and challenges can be minimized with laughter.  I find that laughing at myself and my own foibles eases the tension.  It is very hard not to relax and enjoy being with someone who makes you laugh; it really is the best medicine, espcially when it seems like there is nothing to laugh about!  

Good luck.  Trust your instincts above all. When at a crossroads follow the path of unconditional love, it, not societal expectations, will take you where you really want to go. You sound like a good person   I hope things go well for your family.

Well, now we all know how far Whooter will go: he'll go at least as far as derailing a thread about invalidating abuse victims.  ..suprised his little  :shamrock: hasn't jumped in to his defense yet.

page not available.  'Sup with that?

Give it a "one" on the trollometer

It might help to go after those publications that let TBS and WWASPS buy advertising.  Sunset Magazine is a good one; they have quite a few ads in the back of the mag.  If anyone has money it would be good to buy some space for an ad attacking the WWASPS.  Just a thought