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CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / blownawaytheidahoway
« on: November 05, 2007, 11:51:34 PM »Quote from: ""try another castle""
None of the others really correspond, I found. With the exception of maybe the first circle. But you have to really dig for it.
Seriously, think about it. The summit is the culmination of how extreme we can betray each other. In there, we are asked to do things far worse than any of the previous propheets, even the i want to live and the brothers keeper. We were ready and willing to slap our best friend in the face. We fought like dogs for four stupid plastic chairs, looking like one of those cartoon fight clouds from something like andy capp. We told each other we were takers. We told each other we trust you, we don't trust you or we don't know if we trust you. We looked in each others' eyes and fucking told each other to die! I said that to one of my best friends. I still don't know why I didn't give her a "you live" vote. And the worst of all? We betray ourselves, because nobody gave themselves a "you live" vote. The staff point it out and shame us, despite the fact that the whole thing was set up to make you feel like you don't deserve a live vote.
Telling your best friend to die? I dunno. You can't get more traitorous than that.
Man, that just brought a huge flashback rushing back in. I think that was the turning point when I realized I wouldn't be talking after graduation to a lot of the assholes in my peer group. I must've had that selfish a group, most of them saved a vote for themselves. I never would've begun to think about doing that. I was really broken up and crying during that. I kept saying to Rudy, "I'm not God. I don't get to decide these things." With a couple exceptions, the rest of them were numb and blank. Actually, not blank. They looked at me with disgust. I was "weak" and taking things too seriously. It meant more to me, it really struck home in too real a way, deciding the fate of others. Throwing people out of a lifeboat. That was my big moral split with them. I kept it to myself like everything was still normal afterwards, joking around in the weeks leading up to graduation, but I pretty much knew I was surviving and escaping on my own, with no help from the assholes through this whole period of my life.
The slapping and the mad scramble for the chairs, man, don't get me started...