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Messages - Cayo Hueso

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1261
The Troubled Teen Industry / Teen Solutions info
« on: September 26, 2003, 10:04:00 AM »
http://www.teen-solutions.com/index.html

Hi, found this while I was surfing.  Thought I'd post it FYI.  When you go, click on a region in the US and it will give you a listing of all the programs they support in that area.

1262
The Troubled Teen Industry / Abuse Allegations Re-Surface at California Faith-Based Schoo
« on: September 24, 2003, 01:18:00 PM »
-Just a thought, if taking care of animals, enforced christianity, and household chores make one behave better how come methamphetamine is so big in rural areas?-

 ::bwahaha::       ::cheers::

I'll have to remember that...that's hysterical

1263
The Seed Discussion Forum / MY TIME
« on: September 24, 2003, 12:46:00 PM »
I was in Straight from 82 - 84.  I knew of the Seed and a guy on my street went in....Joe or Jeff Portwood, I think that was his name.  When my dad heard that he went in the Seed I wasn't allowed to spend the night with his sister anymore.  I remember the cultish The Seed Loves You crap... bumper stickers, shirts etc.  I knew of Straight very well before I went in...had a bunch of friends who broke a good friend out.  She got lucky, parents never sent her back after she told them what really went on in there.  I went to Northeast... I know the Seed was a HUGE deal at Lakewood.  At NEHI we had all heard of it and knew what it was about but there wasn't the same presence that there was at LHS and it had changed into Straight by then.   The main thing I remember about both programs before I had gone in was how everyone was robot-like and you could really feel that they were freaked out.  If you tried to speak to any of them, they wigged out and got either scared or pissed...mostly scared.  I now know that they were afraid of being reported for talking to "druggies".

I have found a really good way to kind of clear all the cobwebs after getting overwhelmed by all this stuff...take a trip to the Keys...it does WONDERS for the soul!!!! ::bigsmilebounce:: It's not a cure, but it sure is one helluva great distraction for a while.

1264
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / mental anguish
« on: September 24, 2003, 12:23:00 PM »
I was in St. Pete from 82 to 84.  My dad was considered a parent guru and he married another parent.  I married someone from the program and had two kids with him.  My parents and inlaws still believe Straight was a good thing.  Because of the influence Straight had and still has over them, and to a certain degree my ex-husband, I have had my kids taken away twice, once for 3 years and I've been dragged back into court or threatened with it more times than I care to think about.  It seems like I've never been able to leave the program behind until about the last year it finally feels like the leaving it behind process has begun.  My youngest is now 16 and my oldest 18 and NO ONE can threaten me with taking my kids anymore.  That's one of the things I'm most angry about.  As a parent I was not afforded the luxury of having my own ideals, making mistakes as every parent does, or raising my children the way that I wanted to raise them.  If I did anything that they didn't agree with, I was threatened with court.  The effects of Straight do not leave us when we leave the program.  The influences are everywhere.  12 step programs, school drug "education" programs, courts (especially locally with the powerful Straight supporters here), media.  

Straight got me at my most vulnerable years.  As a teenager you are learning how to live as an adult.  As I said before I'm also a parent of two teenagers so I have both points of view, parent and child.  During that time when I should have been able to find my way in life with guidance and support, I was pulled from school, taken from all family and friends, beaten, starved, told I was a piece of shit whore who was going to die and THEN told how much these people loved me and were there to help me live a good life.  What a mind fuck!!!  We were stripped of any identity we had, had unatainable expectations set for us, and then told to go out and be successful adults.  SURE.  I was sexually abused from the ages of 7 - 11.  It took me 6 years to finally talk about it and, stupid me, I talked about it for the first time in Straight.  I was told that I needed to focus on where MY responsibility in the situation was.  
MY RESPONSIBILITY?!?!?!?!?! ::jawdrop:: Then Ruth Ann told me that it had NOTHING TO DO WITH MY DRUG PROBLEM :flame:.  

Yeah, needless to say, Straight has infected so much of my life for a very long time.  But, in the past year reading these boards, talking with other survivors etc...I finally feel like I'm beginning to leave it behind somewhat.

1265
The Seed Discussion Forum / MY TIME
« on: September 24, 2003, 11:35:00 AM »
Hey Greg,

You're right.  I completely agree that he is entitled to his opinion...so am I.  That's all I was doing.  I don't think I was (I hope I wasn't) overly harsh.  I just took issue with being told that I needed to face reality.  I've been facing reality for over 20 years now.  I'm NOT trying to pick a fight.  I respect his right to his opinion, don't agree with it, but respect his right to express it and I"m just asking for the same.  I"ve tried very hard since I've been back on these boards to choose my postings carefully.  I backed away for over a year because of all the anger that seemed to flow and I don't want to be a part of perpetuating that anger.  If I truly offended "Anon" (and it does strike me as odd that these people who are so pro-program seem to always post anonymously) then I apologize...that was not my intent.  As I stated before, it was the "facing reality" comment that got to me.  I was just speaking with another survivor and she had a great point to make.  There are, what, a couple of hundred people that look at these boards, a lot of whom post, but some who don't, and we're not going to agree on everything.  I have no interst in getting into arguments with people over any of that.  I have only posted a very few times since I've been back because of this.  But....when I see someone that is, in MY opinion, telling us that what happened to us was brought on by ourselves or that we really needed it or whatever reason he comes up with as to why we needed to be there and is DEFENDING the abuse that happened, I take issue.  

ANON - Once again, if you truly feel that your life was saved by the Seed, great for you......but PLEASE, don't belittle MY experience by telling me to face reality.  I truly do wish you well in your life....I wish that for ALL survivors.  I was telling this person that I was speaking with that all of this is kind of like "emotional vomiting" .  It happened to me when I first found these sites a year and a half ago.  All this anger, frustration, confusion has been pent up all these years and when I finally found someone or someplace that seemed to understand, everything came out at once.  The rage, fear...all of it, sometimes in a constructive way, other times not so constructive.

Enough rambling...I hope ALL of us can find some peace finally.  I think we've ALL earned it. :grin:

1266
The Seed Discussion Forum / MY TIME
« on: September 24, 2003, 08:34:00 AM »
My friends made normal lives for themselves through the natural, normal process of growing up that they were allowed to do but which we were not.  I fully believe that if I had NOT been put in there that I would have done the same thing.  Go through a period of breaking away from parents, rebelling against authority etc. and then grow up, just like my friends did.  That also happens to be the way my daughter did it.  Help is one thing, forced adolescent treatment and imprisonment is quite another.  As I said before, great if you got something out of it, but don't tell the rest of us to face reality......we've been through enough without some self-righteous jerk comparing the military, which is VOLUNTARY, to the Seed or Straight.  VERY different animals.

1267
The Seed Discussion Forum / MY TIME
« on: September 21, 2003, 08:05:00 PM »
The three main friends that I grew up with and that were cosidered "druggie friends" are ALL doing very well and NEVER went in Straight or the Seed or any program.  They were all doing more than what I was at the time and they're all successful now...gee, wonder how that happened   :roll: .  I really want someone that is pro-Straight/Seed to explain that to me.  These people that were doing the SAME things and WORSE than me, never went to any kind of treatment and are completely successful people with businesses and families and very full lives.  I'm also a parent of two teenaged girls 18 & 16.  I've been through the drug thing from the kid side AND the parent side.  I tried something novel....I TALKED to my kids.  Not just when she got into drugs but through her whole life.  We had our ups and downs during her "troubled" period, but we got through it and she's starting nursing school now with a full scholarship.  WOW, how the hell did we manage without "The Program" :roll: ?!?!?!?!?!  Don't mistake that as me blaming my parents for whatever trouble I got into, I'm not.  My point(s) are that 1)  The relationship that parents build with their kids THROUGHOUT THEIR ENTIRE LIVES is what is going to keep them OK and making good decisions and 2)  IT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE TO ABUSE ANYONE IN THE NAME OF "HELP".   I've been through some pretty rough shit in my life but what has honestly had the most/worst impact on my life was Straight.  It was the single worst experience of my life.  I don't sit around whining about it all the time, but it sure is with me all the time.  My father refuses to speak to me because I don't continue to follow the straight doctrine and I'm his ONLY CHILD.  How the hell does that help HEAL a family.  The problems my family had had very little to do with my drug use...that was just a convenient scapegoat so they didn't have to look at how screwed up they were.

If you really feel that place saved your life, more power to you, but DON'T tell any of us that we need to "face reality".  That's YOU bud...wake up and smell it!!

1268
The Troubled Teen Industry / Latest New York Times Piece
« on: September 06, 2003, 07:56:00 PM »
who is asking?

1269
The Troubled Teen Industry / Latest New York Times Piece
« on: September 06, 2003, 06:04:00 PM »
Jail and the military don't restrict access to the outside world/family/friends for months or years at a time.  Military personnel and even prisoners are allowed to read the paper, watch the news, write or call family and friends...and by the way, the military is VOLUNTARY.

No, no one is supposed to change my life for me...I'm responsible.  The point I was making was that no matter what the actual reason for someone "not making it" in the program (I hate to even use that phrase, just because someone leaves a program doesn't mean they haven't "made it") the program people will always say it was because they didn't honestly work it, or dig deep enough or whatever, placing all the blame on the individual, not even considering that maybe there is something wrong with the program or that there may be other reasons.  It's just like the AA shit of "rarely have we seen a person fail who has truly followed our path" or however it goes.  That just sets someone up PLUS it's a load of shit.

If whatever program you or your family was in worked and your lives are better because of it, great but those of us who have been there KNOW what it's like.  I am 38 years old and STILL have nightmares, trouble dealing with confrontation, anger control and I had NONE of those problems before I was put in there.  I've seen a lot of abuse in my life but none as sinister as that of what I went through in there.  I love the way they set the kids up not to be believed by the parents...'now your druggie kid may try and play on your sympathies or make things up to try and get out of here, but don't listen...it's just they're druggie tendencies'. So, if a kid is truly being abused, as many of us were, how are we supposed to get any help???  And all this was done under the cloak of "helping the kids".  What a crock of shit.  Go read the story on http://www.thestraights.com about Lulu Corter and tell me how much of her THIRTEEN YEAR incarceration was because she wasn't digging deep enough.

Wake up

1270
The Troubled Teen Industry / Latest New York Times Piece
« on: September 06, 2003, 03:38:00 PM »
"It only works for those that are willing to change. The lawyer that thinks her son was abused, question? Did your son not choose to stay in the Hobbit? If he wasn't willing to follow the rules he chose to hide out in the hobbit and write all day. He wasn't open to working. Neither were you and it's good that you chose to bring him home. It's not for you. It was for us."

How DARE you presume to know why a program did not work for someone else.  That's fine that you say the program worked for you, but you're putting the responsibility on the other person for the program not working...that's such a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If this program doesn;'t work, it's just because YOU don't want to dig deep enough.  BULLSHIT.  This type of condescending attitude is so typical of "program people".  If someone disagrees with "the program" then they're not honest, or just resentful, or not willing to work the program".  I am so sick of that shit.  Surprise, that's another sign of a cult attitude.  Can't even conceive that there might be a flaw in their precious program.  When you HONESTLY look at the treatment modalities of these programs...they are taken DIRECTLY from known cults!!!  Isolation, repetition, control of information, peer pressure...all of it.  If you are forced into a group for a period of months or years and outside communication is severely controlled and the only thing you are exposed to are these people who keep telling you how much they care and how wonderful their lives are now that they've accepted the program day in and day out...it's almost inevitable.  They have no other frame of reference and are thus vulnerable to the brainwashing.  What is being billed as a cure is a killer and now people are finally taking a stand and saying NO MORE.

1271
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Kids of Bergen County 1986-1987 - STAFF
« on: September 05, 2003, 06:12:00 PM »
no...she finally did break away from the brainwashing

1272
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Kids of Bergen County 1986-1987 - STAFF
« on: September 03, 2003, 08:40:00 AM »
Mike Roberts is dead.  From what I hear it was an OD, but I haven't gotten any confirmation on that.

Shannon is livng somewhere in Tampa with her and Mike's son.

1273
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Straight will forever be my higher power!!
« on: September 02, 2003, 11:45:00 PM »

1274
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Kids of Bergen County 1986-1987 - STAFF
« on: September 02, 2003, 08:59:00 PM »
Does anyone from Bergen County remember Shannon Keathley or Mike Roberts?  They followed Newton to Jersey after he got run out of St. Pete

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