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Topics - velvet2000

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Pictures
« on: December 16, 2007, 11:24:23 PM »
If you have any photographs of/in AARC please PM me. I'm looking for pictures of the building itself or of Dean Vause. No pictures including victims (such as graduation photo's) unless it is yourself and you are okay with your image being used publicly.


Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / In Loving Memory
« on: November 22, 2007, 03:41:01 PM »
The following is a list of former members of AARC who have taken their lives. Feel free to share memories of these lost lives here. Please share with us if you have any information on their relation to AARC or the reasoning behind their deaths.

Brian Neal (Brian was a client in Kids of North Jersey and later worked as staff in AARC. He reportedly broke into AARC before taking his life).

Andrew Mazur (Former Client)

Devon Newson (Former Client)

William LeBaron? (Graduate. Known best as "Steve" LeBeraon)

If there are any other AARC related deaths I am unaware of, please post them here with links (obituaries, news articles) if possible.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / AARC Related Death's
« on: November 07, 2007, 03:35:43 PM »
Could everyone list the first and last name of former clients who have committed suicide?

Do we have an official cause of the "sudden" death of Steve LeBaron now?

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Survivor's Stories
« on: October 22, 2007, 09:28:52 PM »
My name is Mylitta and I was in the Alberta Adolescent Recovery Centre (AARC) for a little over one year. My mother's aunt and uncle had put their child through Kids of North Jersey, and even though she was freed from "Kids" by the police her parents continued to support the program. When Miller Newton tried to bring his program to Canada they offered their help, and began holding "Rap's" in their basement, which were run by Dean Vause. This is where AARC began until they were given funding to buy a building in the industrial area of Calgary.

When I was 13 I smoked pot about 30 times (probably less) and took LSD about 10 times. I did this because I attended the high school with the highest drug population in Canada at the time and drugs were "normal" there. After using drugs for almost a year I became bored with them and I had negative effects from LSD, so I stopped entirely. When asked "why did your parents put you through AARC" I've come to understand that I was in AARC because of Munchausen by proxy (MBP), which is what my mother had.

My mother claims that the 9 months she spent in a psychiatric unit after slitting her wrists was the "happiest time" in her life. She claims to have been cured of schizophrenia while in there. I'm aware that she has a head injury from childhood which caused her brain damage, but not aware of any diagnosis she was given in the psychiatric unit. I do know that she moved to another country and changed her first and last name, and I believe that there is a possibility that she was under Witness Protection. After much time questioning her I've come to suspect that she'd slit her wrists while on LSD which was her "schizophrenia" and also why she focused so much on me having taken it.

When my father began seeing other women, the only thing that would bring him home was if my sister and I were very sick. So I spent most of my childhood in hospitals and she even pulled strings to make me the poster child (literally) for a disease. I was heavily medicated for reasons I don't understand and on a weekly basis I was coaxed into situations with doctors where she would tell me what my symptoms were and if I were "good" I would tell the doctors. I was even burnt and cut as a child to go to the emergency room. I was lead to believe that they were accidents. Even as a small toddler if I had a bad dream my mother would tell me it was a hallucination and drag me to a psychologist where she would tell them I had schizophrenia.

When I was 14 my father was spending the mortgage on prostitutes. My mother spent time with the aunt and uncle involved with AARC, and soon decided that she needed to send me there. Her and my mother both spent time in Calgary attending meetings at AARC, which I was unaware of. When they returned they were increasingly crazy. It was summer time and I was spending a lot of time with my friends, hanging out at the beach, coffee shops, etc. I was not using drugs, being promiscuous, or doing anything "at risk". I was emotionally struggling, but that is a given considering my home situation. Once they began attending AARC they made a rule that I could only leave the house for 1 hour a day. They didn't chose a home with a bedroom for me, so my home was under the dining room table. After a week of only exciting the dining room table for an hour a day I began running away from home, often being dragged back (physically) by police or my parents. As a run away I spent most of my time in friends home, and met a woman who began fighting for legal custody of me, but unfortunately I spent a small time homeless because my parents were knocking on the doors of my friends homes and threatening their parents. During this summer my mother had me physically restrained and taken to a rehabilitation center in the states. I was soon released and social services (I learned years later) decided to watch me and arrest my mother if she continued with this.

Eventually, after my "normal" life was being torn to pieces, my parents told me that they'd found a foster program in Alberta that had space for me and that they would be willing to let me go if I chose to live with that foster family. I said yes, believing it was the only way to stop the fight with my family. Two days later they took me to the center where I'd supposedly meet my family, and I was in AARC.

Being this the most bizarre experience of my life it will be hard to keep the explanation of AARC short.

At the time the industrial garage AARC was in was mostly cement walls and floor, with some areas having painted gray walls and gray carpets. The only decorated part of the building was the front portion where staff had their offices and curious parents learned about AARC. Also everything beyond the front of the building was not heated during the winter and the air conditioning was turned up in the back during the summer. We weren't allowed to wear our coats in Rap's and only allowed one sweatshirt or sweater and a few t-shirts, so I was always freezing and had cold sweats. The blinds were shut so that we didn't get any sunlight, and we were not allowed any outside stimulation such as newspapers or any literature for that matter that was not AA literature, or any contact with people not directly involved with AARC. When I left AARC I was unaware of major events such as the Oklahoma bombing.

Many of my civil rights were violated. I wasn't given the right to partake in ceremonies of my own religion and I was even forbidden to speak of my religious beliefs because they differed from AARC's. Mail that friends sent to my mother she'd hand over to AARC and they would open them and read them, but not tell me about them. I discovered this as an "Oldtimer". I had no way of contacting anyone for help because I wasn't allowed to use a phone, have computer access, or write letters. The only time I was allowed to speak to my parents was with Oldtimers and staff monitoring us.

AARC staff told us that legally they could keep us until we were 16 and could sign ourselves out. Anyone who attempted to leave while under the age of sixteen was physically restrained by staff and Oldcomers, including being sat on for long periods of time.

The process of rap's was traumatizing. What had an even worse long term effect on me was being denied time to be silent in between Raps. I had to be busy and talking at all times between Raps, otherwise I'd be accused of thinking something bad.

Clients had to tell "incidents" during every rap, so I don't know what was made up for the sake of an incident, or what was real, but I heard awful stories of incest, sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, things that at that young age (15) I was unaware of and did not want to be forced to hear extreme details of every day for hours at a time for one year. "Girls Rap" was intended for purely sexual discussion. It was usually run by a man and it was held in a room built with a viewing room behind a one way mirror which continues to disgust me. I remember Girls Rap's where girls told stories of being raped, and instead of being counseled to understand that it was not their fault they were told that their "disease" lead them to it. One 14 year old girl was told that because she�d attended a high school party unconsciously to search out alcohol and feed her disease, so therefore she�d set herself up to be raped. There were child prostitutes (as young as 13) who had been court ordered into AARC and even though these girls were recruited by gangs, drugged and raped, they were still taught that they became prostitutes to support their addiction. Anyone who had homosexual thoughts was told that it was because of their "disease" and they could not progress to the next level in AARC until accepting this and changing their behavior.

All of us spent time undergoing "blast raps" or being the "target" of regular raps, which involved everyone (staff and clients) calling you names, telling you that you're a worthless druggie, for hours and hours at a time, and the only way to make it end is to agree with them which is called "accepting powerlessness". If you didn't accept powerlessness for a long period of time you were put on "The Zero Club" which meant that an Oldcomer was assigned to control even your basic functions, meaning that you had to ask permission for each spoonful of food you were given and the Oldcomer was allowed to deny you. You had to ask for one square of toilet paper at a time, and again the Oldcomer could deny you.

Undergoing this caused me to being having altered states. I had to have a private place to go to where they could not reach, and I had to have a personality that was acceptable to them. I bounced in between these at all times and by the end of AARC I could not control bouncing in between the real me as a 15 year old, and the AARC me. When I "graduated" I behaved in a perfectly acceptable way to AARC people, but to the rest of the world I was totally out of place which the more I tried to merge into the real world the more obvious this became.

I wasn't eating enough to sustain a healthy weight during my first half of AARC and therefore was in pain all over. Normally clients were taken to a doctor who was a friend of Dean Vause's when first in AARC. Their visit was supervised by staff and the purpose was to check for STD's, lice, and scabies. I wasn't given this doctors appointment, probably because my poor health was too risky. When I became an Oldcomer and had a Host Home my mothers MPB became beneficial. She found that I had a cyst forming from spinal tissue, which needed to be operated on. I was operated on and quickly escorted back to AARC where home nurses visited me 3 times daily to care of the open wound, which soon became infected. A "Clinical" once told me that the home nurse had told her that I was making it all up and didn't need any help, therefore she was no longer letting the nurses in. Meanwhile I could barely walk and had a two inch long open wound and infection in my spinal tissue. My mother found out about this and quickly had the situation changed long enough for me to heal up.

I Graduated AARC by doing my best to abide by the rules and change myself to their ways. I would have been in AARC for much longer than year if it weren't for one staff member who was dedicated to standing up for me. She helped convince the others that I was one of them, even though I think she knew I never would be.

Immediately after AARC I found a wonderful therapist who helped me start to recover from AARC. She reminded me that I could have my own opinions and that all of the things done to me and the other kids were not for a good reason. It was still a few years before I cut contact with AARC because I continued to bounce between the real me and the AARC me, and I was afraid that maybe outsiders really were evil, and maybe I really would be "dead insane or in jail" (as we were told) if I separated from AARC. I also continued to support my mom and her MBP until I turned 18, at which point I felt free legally that I couldn't be dragged into a rehab, hospital, or cult. I moved away and limited contact with my immediate family.

The most surprising things to have learned about AARC for me were first of all that the rule of turning 16 and signing out was false and that AARC at the time did not have the legal right to keep me or restrain us, which means that I was actually kidnapped and illegally held. Also we had called Dean Vause "Dr. Vause" because he claimed to have been a psychologist to us, while professionally to the outside world he referred to himself as "clinical director". I was shocked to find that he is not a psychologist and had undergone his training at Kids of North Jersey. Also I began reading about cults and cult recovery, and it feels to me that AARC's program is so alike all descriptions of what makes a cult, that it's possible they designed the program intentionally around the makings of a cult. I could not believe that these books about cults worded exactly what I went through.

At 20 I had gotten my dream apartment and had married my husband who helped me put things into perspective. I'd still say some AARC things or refer to myself as "sick" in the way that both AARC and my mother would, and he'd ask me why on earth I thought those things. I realized that I was not ill throughout my life mentally or physically. At 22 I'd moved even further from my family and researched my mothers history where I was able to fill in some blanks. I felt safer to have a clearer understanding of my life. Around that time the MBP became clear. Living in fear of AARC, or "deadinsaneorinjail", seeing myself as a bad or dangerous person was gone. I was able to be a woman with her own life, her own values, and no more bouncing in between who I was and who I was told to be. I'm now 25 and lead a full life, although it has been much harder to get here then it is for most people.

When I listen to my friends talking about their lives I am always amazed at how different our stories are. I am often jealous of students who were able to stay with their parents while attending school or who have a safety net if they can't make their rent one month. I've had to do everything while working overtime, and I've never had that safety net to fall back on (until in laws came along). At 19 I was exhausted all the time, working around the clock to make it, knowing that if one little thing went wrong, like if I got a sick and had to take a week off, I might not be able to pay my bills and I'd be on the streets. Also, I am always aware of how much someone can torture an innocent person, which is something I know that most North Americans don't live with every day. The pain that my parents brought is very minimal in comparison to the traumatic effects that AARC had on me, and I lost any innocence because of it.

I saw my family recently. My mother is now unable to care for herself, I don't know exactly what the reasoning is. She is starving herself and so underweight that she could probably die any second. I don't think she is doing it for the sake of vanity, I think that now that she doesn't have someone to make sick, she has to do it herself. She typically sees a doctor once a day, and again I don't know why.

From what I hear about AARC these days they have dressed the building up and worsened the situation for its clients. I don't believe that there is any way to improve AARC. The amount of violence engraved in the staff members is too powerful to cure. I'd tell you that the only people who should end up in this place are the worst of criminals or rapists, but I remember a situation where a boy had raped one of the girls in AARC, and he did not have to "make amends" to her while she was being taught she was the problem. I feel that there are probably many kids out there who were abused enough in AARC to press criminal charges, but they are either too afraid or too confused about what happened to talk about it. Most of the victims I speak to are working so hard to change their lives and get away from anything involved with AARC that they simply say "I just can't deal with it right now."

I will always live with the knowledge that I lost one year of my youth during one of our most developmental years. When freed from AARC I heard about a local man I'd known who was arrested for sexually assaulting his 2 daughters (both under the age of 12). He spent only 3 months in prison where he was allowed all civil rights, time to himself, and outside contact. Meanwhile everything had been taken from me and I wasn't even allowed to speak about the people I'd loved before AARC. I strongly disagree with any �treatment program� that does not offer a fair trail before sentencing someone. But I also strongly disagree that AARC or any of its like programs should continued to be called "treatment". "The AARC Family" is a psychological/religious community, and should only be seen as such.

Mylitta (Mel).

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / About the AARC Survivor Forums
« on: October 22, 2007, 09:15:48 PM »
I started the AARC Survivor forums as a place for former members of AARC to connect with one another and share their stories. Many victims of AARC fear coming out and telling their story for many reasons, and I hoped that online could be a safe getaway for graduates and escapee's to unite and speak comfortably.

immediately after creating the forum AARC staff members and current members began posting, and leaving verbally violent posts towards survivors, sometimes evening threatening them. These members are still the most active members of this site, as you will see when reading through the posts.

Today these forums have done more than I could have asked for in terms of helping AARC victims. Survivors connect through posts and private message and have created support for one another. While at the same time, AARC staff shows the rest of the world what their behavior is like, and a hint towards what undergoing an AARC "R.A.P" is like.

I do not actively moderate this site and I allow all threatening, violent,and disturbing posts to be made, but I hope that Survivors will continue to feel welcome and safe here.

It's my personal recommendation that any survivors seek outside help of some kind. I also suggest reading about thought reform. Some helpful books I've discovered are:

"Captive Hearts Captive Minds" by Madeleine Ladau Tobias and Janja Lalich.

"Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steve Hassen, and

"Recovery From Abusive Groups" by Wendy Ford.

If you know of someone who has been placed in AARC and you can not contact them, please contact the Calgary police. If you were in AARC against your will or have witnessed a crime (such as someone being restrained or strip searched), please report it to the police. There is no time limit on reporting these crimes.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding AARC feel free to private message me.

News Items / A Stunning Example
« on: December 30, 2004, 01:14:00 AM »
This is a lovely example of how "serene" a male AARC grad can "recover" to be. Here's the link to a thread started and kept going with "rage" from your Big Joshua: ... 2&start=10

So what exactly are you encouraging in those boys raps? Clearly it's been shown on our boards verbal hostility and threat, but I guess rape too. Wow what mother wouldn't want a son like this?

News Items / Question About Hazelden
« on: December 24, 2004, 04:50:00 PM »
Someone here went there so I thought this would be a good place to ask!

I met someone today who's daughter went through Hazelden for 24 and under in Minnesota as well (Plymouth?). She said that Hazelden was good but after a month the girls have to go to "Hazelden extended" if they want more recovery and so her daughter was going to some other state to stay in rehab. She also made a comment of something along the lines that boys get to stay longer and have full treatment but girls don't. When she described "Hazelden extended" she said they can't have any music or books and that they can't be left alone without being escorted by someone on a higher level. She didn't know too much else about it. There was a real name for the "extended" but I can't remember what it was. Does anyone know anything about this? She also told me that since her daughter got out of Hazelden she's been having anxiety attacks in crowds and she'd never had that before, and some other things which sounded strange. However this girl's been in a long strong of rehabs in a row so she may just be acting antisocial because she's been isolated. books and that they can't be left alone without being escorted by someone on a higher level. She didn't know too much else about it. There was a real name for the "extended" but I can't remember what it was. Does anyone know anything about this? She also told me that since her daughter got out of Hazelden she's been having anxiety attacks in crowds and she'd never had that before, and some other things which sounded strange. However this girl's been in a long strong of rehabs in a row so she may just be acting antisocial because she's been isolated.

News Items / Just Felt Like It!
« on: October 30, 2004, 01:20:00 AM »
Looks like there's a lot of AARC staff posts! If things look a little different it's because I changed a couple of titles and deleted a few posts. Nothing important or anything that changes the converstation, just the usual staff posts. No messages were edited, with the exception of one which explains that it was a reply to a deleted post. Don't want them thinking if I let this thing go they'll have a voice here!

Have a great Halloween weekend everyone! Bundle your kids up and take them door to door, none of that mall trick or treating crap!

News Items / AARC Dream
« on: July 06, 2004, 01:18:00 AM »
I had a dream last night including AARC. I was driving, and a white SUV swirved out of it's lane and I couldn't get out of the way in time. After he hit me we got out of our cars and talked. It turned out that they were AARC staff and had to get back to the center. I told them I was a graduate and went back there with them while waiting for someone to drive me home. The center was a huge palace, but still just as cold and dull inside. Everyone including Dean invited me in and we sat at a large dining room table talking as if it were my first time talking to them since grad and they were happy to have me back. I asked them all about what they've been doing. The male staff were all quite wired and crazy. They went on angry tangents. The women, (all of which were girls I knew and who are still a part of AARC to this day in real life) were very quiet. They all looked exactly the same except older and heavier. They were dressed just as plain and had the same hair styles and colors. I felt very sad for all of them and didn't want to tell them about all the things I'd done since I'd left in order to not make them feel bad. So I stood up and said goodbye to all of them, and asked Jen (C? I forget her last name. She's been there practically from the very beginning) to walk me to the door. At the door I put my hand on her shoulder and looked at her wearing the same glasses and all and I said "There's a whole life out there. Don't be afriad to go live it". I didn't want to encourage her to leave AARC because I knew that she never would, but I hoped she would be inspired to do at least some things that required thinking outside or AARC's box.

News Items / AATN. Shy Survivors
« on: July 30, 2003, 04:49:00 PM »
This is a message for all of the quiet or mostly quiet survivors out there. Right now is a crucial time and there is a lot more valid support in Calgary for AARC Survivors than there was a couple of months ago. Many of you want to maintain your privacy but still want to make a dent in the AARC situation and that is fine. Of course if you don't worry about your privacy that's great too. Either way right now a lot of people are interested in what you have to say, so if you need a mediator please PM me, or email [email protected]. Please send us some of your story with AARC or whatever information you feel is valuable. If there is anything you feel needs to be investigated you can also suggest that, or suggest a name of a contact. Your information my change a lot of peoples lives for the better.

I hope all of you are doing well,
Take care,

News Items / Dinner in Scuzzy Surry
« on: April 02, 2003, 09:58:00 PM »
Would you like the chance to tell the supporters of AARC how you feel? Would you like the chance to stop a second branch of AARC from being formed before children are abducted and abused? Well now you can, for just the small price of $300!!!! Yep, for just $300 you can not only eat, but PLAY GOLF with the fundamentalits...I mean...good vitoms...I mean...people who are fundraising to start the Vancouver Adolescent Recovery Centre. The best part about all of this is that for once in a lifetime not only Republicans are supporting this chain of Synanons, but now Canada's New Democrats have joined in too.

This lovely event will be held on May 15'th in Surry British Columbia. For our American friends who don't know, Surrey (best known as Scurry) is a large suburb of Vancouver with some of the worst crime in Canada, and I guess a nice golf course too. This will be a perfect place for an event of such because the streets of Surry are filled with young Hoochie Moma's which irritate everyone, and therefore encourage Canadians to feel that Canada must be overrun with 15 year old Hoochie Moma's who need to be imprisoned...I mean...Treated. Not that Hedy Fry or Gordan Cambell will actually be walking the streets of Surry.

Copied and Pasted from a post made on my AARC forum (not by me).

" Ok ready for some honesty? Here goes. I was a member of Stright/Phoenix Institute for adolescents during 92-94. I was put on a setback during second phase, I think that was a standard practice if you didn't 'misbehave'. That way, sice most people are full of shit anyway, they can make you think they can 'sense' the guilt or something. So, since I actually thought I had a problem and wanted assistance, I did exactly what they told me to do. Which as you all know included sharing many intimate details about myself. Many of which were horribly degrading sexual acts. Was I happy, probrobly not, but I was in a place where I wasn't dead. All that talk struck a chord with me because I knew I was at the brink of suicide and had told my parents that I needed to get away from them and get help somewhere before I was dead. That glimmer of infantecimal hope had been extinguished, I knew I would never make out of life what I wanted. I tried to be courteous and friendly, even to my abusive captors. I mean I was still alive right? There wasn't too much else to be happy about in my life at that point. On one day, as hope seemed to be entering back into my life, I must have been smiling too much or something. In goal setting at the begining of the day a rude little bitch called Camile decided to say I had to be dishonest because no one could be as happy as I seemed to be in Straight, and I needed to 'get real' and 'get honest'. Camile If you read this... Fuck you! Well this seemed to catch on like wildfire, because 'Tom' a snaggle-toothed redneck child abuser had taken me as hit pet because I came in trying to 'work the program'. This is probrobly the reason that accusation caught on like wildfire. I had just skipped off of 1st phase in 2 weeks or close to it. I was confronted relentlessly for 2-3 weeks for anything I may have held back or not disclosed. My parents were even told by my second phase leader that I said my dad had sexually molested me, when I had said nothing of the sort. I had actually been relating a childhood memory that I remembered him carrying me near the woods in the darkness and had been crying to go back. They kept wanting to know what I was holding back, so there was nothing, day after day, after day, after day.... Then I came up with it! There could have been only one thing that I was dishonest about. You see I was a charismatic and extreemly likeable person before I came to treatment. I didn't make it a habit to call people on their crap and accepted lies as mere embelishments, and I lied plenty myself as well at that time. Perhaps I was being torn apart on my inside from the flashes of sexual abuse I tried to block out, but I was still charasmatic and had a large network of friends. Well, that was it you see, I didn't like treating people like crap. So that's what I got honest with. The only other newcomer I ever yelled at was a kid called Nick, and that was because he threatened me with a poolstick and spit in my face. He's lucky I didn't kill him in the back window of the 'host dads' car. I had just told the host parent and all the other phasers I would knock the hell out of them and see them in jail if they tried to stick their fingers up his ass, because he said that he had a pen shoved up it. As repayment for me always being non-intrusive with him and letting him sit in silence if he wished he had spat in my face, when I was the only one that prevented him from being sexually molested. Course ADD kids have never cared for me in the least for some reason. So that was my one 'mistake' after 'getting honest'. Now, that I've examined the proverbial mote in my own eye, time for the 'gnat' in yours. There were plenty of people that would tell me out of group, man I think it's really great that you made a stand like that. I really agree with you man and the like. These same people would go back to the build ing and host homes and yell and scream at their newcomers. One of them even found great pleasure in having one of his newcomers ask to pick up and play with his turds. No, don't worry he was only put on a setback that lasted half the time of mine, and even though he started working the program far after me graduated months ahead of me. I would stand up to the staff members when they threatened to 'call days in'. Tell them I would still not confront viciously because then I would be breaking the 1st most important rule. Which is honesty for all of you that have forgoten. I also found out the honesty thing was just a joke when I graduated. That everyone had been holding 'something' back. Oh if I would have known, all the things I wouldn't have said...

Now it seems that those who aren't dead and are all doing fine. Well not me. I can rarely get up enough desire to ever leave my home. I am depressed and miserable. I have recurring dreams where I am back in school in treatment and I cry uncontrollably for myself and without end, and I wake daily/nightly from whichever sleep schedule I'm on today in soaking sweat. I am terrified to go to seek any sort of counseling, all my counselers have screwed me over. My first psychologist told my parents never to reveal my IQ scores, of couse it was fine for my brother to know his, so I grew up thinking I was retarded but had learned to learn in my own way so no one would know. Another family counselor would recommend 'Straight' to my parents, of couse he never saw me. My psycologist in PIfA told me he was going to turn in the center for the string of abuses that I suffered at their hands. Of course instead he took a salary and 'guy's group' became 'Greg's group'. I stayed the course through terrible emotional torture to graduate. I didn't want the program to be a crutch for me. Didn't want to ever look back and say, "you know, my life could have been different if only i'd graduated PIfA". Of course according to all your sites that I've seen so far there was no abuse that occured there. They just changed instantly from their ways. If anything was kinder and gentler in that place it was because I insisted upon it.

So when I want help I've looked here. You're all so critical of 'Stright'. Whining about how they're all out for money. Well what about you all? Am I supposed to be happy people were winning suits against the place I was imprisoned in while I was imprisoned? I've seen no money, but it looks like this Straight recovery thing is turing into a booming busines. Why I even found that I would only have to pay a psychiatrist $100 for the first half-hour! How wonderful! Especially when I can't even hold a job, because I can't lie and falsy stroke people's ego, and that's the way life is. Everyone lies. I used to be able to lie, to be charasmatic, to get along with people. Now, just like this post, everything is an argument. I have problems reading for long periods of time and I used to love curling up with a good Stephen King book or some other horror and reading most of the day. I don't think I've been able to finish a book since I left treatment, or finish school, or work...

So what is my point? It makes me angry that you were all able to abuse the hell out of your newcommers for no other reason then you were told. You are all no better then the Nazi's in Germany during WWII that were 'just following orders'. I watched at least four child molesters walk out of that place free. Perhaps some of you who are 'doing fine' now are them. You must have your new young thing at your side or something. Even if not, it irritates me to no end how as soon as it wasn't called Straight you all think the abuse stopped, and also that you feel fine. I'm sorry but I don't think 'child abusers' should ever feel 'fine'. Of course I guess psychiatry is the new church, pay enough money and they'll brainwash you into having peace of mind. Even though you don't deserve it. I hope and pray to the one and only god, Science, will soon crush your false religion to."

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / "What Can I Do?"
« on: January 27, 2003, 01:21:00 AM »
This was posted on my forum accidentally and the original poster asked me to copy it to here.

"My husband feels hopeless against the overwhelming physical and emotional problems he incurred during his torture at the Phoenix Institute of Atlanta '92-'94. He is hopelessly depressed and does not feel like a functioning human being and really wants to. I dont know what to do and need help. Please if you have any suggestions let me know."

[ This Message was edited by: velvet2000 on 2003-01-26 22:23 ]

News Items / What a Voice is For
« on: January 10, 2003, 07:15:00 PM »
Do any of you remember the first time and oldcomer or staff member told you all of the ruls to your Synanon? Maybe even a "RAP" session was held to tell you about them all? I remember it like it was yesterday. The majority of the rules were based on what you could NOT talk about, and what you HAD to talk about. What a strange form of control to take a persons right to voice themselves away. Esepcially when you are a person who really knows how to use your voice, that is, to understand the power of your own words and to use them wisely. To think before you speak instead of just rambling out words. To only use hurtful words when you accept the consequences and know that indeed they do come back to you so you must think first. Or to only bother preaching to the people who are open to hear it in the first place. I guess some people don't understand the term "wasted words".

Today I'd just like to give a little reminder to some people about taking voices away. How do you handle it? To you try to squeal louder, or look before you leap?

[ This Message was edited by: velvet2000 on 2003-01-11 16:54 ]

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / In response to all...
« on: December 04, 2002, 04:58:00 PM »
Don't you see the way that you reflect AARC even worse here? Don't you see that when there is a board about recoving from metnal abuse, and you come in and call everyone here "morons" or "bozo's" or "flunkees" for not being in your program that it is slightly rediculous? Do you really  believe that you are being productive this way? Do you think that if you say the same things over and over again that it makes it true? I guess you do. I remember the first "mini vause" saying that "If I tell you that you're stupid over and over again, one of these days you'll believe me. That's how Kids worked." And obviouisly it's how you guys hope to work too.

I realize thatr you try to engage me in a "rap" by asking over and over again if I'm educated so I can just answer you frankly that yes I am educated, not that it makes any difference here anyways! After all, I'm not claiming to be a psychologist like some might.


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