Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

oi not everyone, Ive locked horns with TSW several times - I speak to him privately and lock horns with him there, but on the whole he is a good bloke really

i think alot of staff go in trying to make a difference to these kids only to have the system stop them from doing so, then there are the jerks who just want that power trip

Let Puck speak, he deserves a chance before you decide which he is.

yar *nods*

Unless you posted them on billboards....just dont get caught

I agree on the give them praise, I wasn't quite sure how to go about it without embarassing the hell out of them, teens somehow feel really humiliated by being praised up lol

So what i did was go through the stuff they brought with them, and said the usual stuff like, 'thats really nice, cor that was a bargain, where did you get that from?' it was more down to taking an interest in what they'd actually used their money for than giving this big show about it

They then asked if they could go out (ASKED? WTF??) I said yep, course and told them I was really proud of them for not only being trustworthy, but also for their financial skills - I then gave them the change, which they gave back to me because I said I neded to go do some shopping myself and they decided I needed it more than them *THUD*

Today, tomorrow, next week or next month they'll do something to make me want to strangle them, but that's then, this is now, I am very proud they've managed to get this far, maybe they are finally growing up!

The principle will tear it down in a second, and the student who put it up would be punished for inciting a rebelion

Adults do not like kids thinking for themselves, it makes them difficult

When I first came to Fornits, this was my main beef, the lack of help, there simply isn't anyhting out there, no-one cares, no-one wants to know, they just want to shove your problem (your kid) from one department to anohter

The fight I've had over the years to demand help, I've paid too many taxes over the years to not get it, only to hit a brick wall every time

When I finally managed to get soem help, I felt like a weight was lifted, it wasn't anyone taking responsibility from me, I just felt a new release of energy and was able to cope with doing this alone, because the support was lingering in the background when I needed it, something I've never experienced in my life
BIG MISTAKE!!
The second things started to turn around, due to the fact that i was coping so much better, the quicker the supports gets withdrawn - lol - I feel like I'm back to square one now, things have changed round here for sure, there's no questioning that, but me, personally, I feel alone again and unable to cope

You're all missing the key point, the support does need to be there, it does, it's crap - but it needs to stay in place until everyone is fully in control of what they are doing and have full understanding of what the family as a unit needs

I was slammed, abused, got every bit of shit you lot could find to throw at me when I came here with my story, but I ploughed on because I had to have that understanding for the sake of my family - just like abusive programs, it's taken the death of a child to listen to what is actually needed - no-one ever fucking listens

Now I feel better, thankyou, rant over  :roll:

Thank you. It is a serious community problem that is fueling the numbers of kids in RTC, and will continue to do so until these kids get earlier help. It costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to get them through the school system, which is exactly why I was denied services for my son. In home TBS services should be available for any family who needs them, even if they are white middle class families with autistic children. There is a huge hole in the system for these kids. fortunately parents of kids with autism learn to be really strong, they have to fight for every hour of services they get. Early diganosis and intervention would have helped my boy.

OMG ain't that the truth, yes those who have troubled kids in any way shape or form are the stronger ones - tose who never had to live with it really ought to before pointing the finger at the parents who are at a junction that leads them to nowhere.

I fought for years personally to get help, oh yes I got it in the end, now that my son is 14 next month, he has been diagosed with ADHD, Depression, cognitive behaviour disorder, slight low scale ebnd autism and many other problems! Al the ones I picked up on when he was 5 or 6 years old - would anyone listen to me? The mother? The expert on this person? No - they al knew best, I was just a drama queen mum, right o.......k so now what? Oh yer he's filled with Ritolin with NO back up therapy as there is no money to support that, social services were involved after a long hard battle to get someone to listen, that's short lived, they've decided to withdraw their 'support' for what it was worth after a few short months because they believe I am strong, I've coped all these years

BOLOCKS, I have not coped, I have let my children down because I did not know what to do! I didn't know what was wrong or how to help them, I have a little more insight nowadays but I stil don't cope well, I just cope better than I did.......where is the prevention for children who are getting out of control, where is the help? There is none, something bad has to happen first

Read the Jamie Bulger story and find out exactly what happens to children who need help, they only get it after they have killed or are in jail  :flame:

No it's not how poor you are, or what area you live in - there seems to be no pattern to any of it, the kids come from all backgrounds, rich poor, nicer area's, well known bad areas, some turn out to be top lawyers despite the fact they live in a really bad area, others turn out to be hole digging, but honest decent human beings, the same applies to wealthier areas where gang culture is just as rife.

It just seems to be 'cool' to adopt this way of life, that and kids are terrified to turn down very quickly established gangs, I don't know what is going to be done about this, simply because they are now established, they just suddenly 'sprung up' - the wall of silence is there and the police can't bring anyone to justice without evidence, and none of these kids are going to give evidence against someone who is willing to kill an innocent 11 yr old in cold blood, what would you do in their place?

Guns are illegal and believe me the sentencing for anyone caught will be tough, really tough.

I don't think we blame rap or any other time of music, we tried that with the punk rockers and mods etc - most of them turned out okay despite their troubled teenhoods, it's time to look at society as a whole

1stly scrap the children's right charter, it has caused more harm thean good, kids spend their lives satying "you can't touch me, I'll sue you" this means they can hit, punch, swear, treat their parents, teachers, police or anyone else in authority how they please, knowing there is nothing these ppl can do to protect themselves because they are right, there is nothing we can do without ending up on an assault charge

we need to go back to basics!

this is JMO - families don't go out for the day together anymore and visit the zoo, kids dont go to army cadets or join chess club, they don't even sit down to eat together anymore,  it's just not cool, they'd rather be hanging the streets with their friends smoking weed and putting a stamp on their status.

The devil - hmmm, do you know what I think the devil is? The internet......how many children only ever see the back of their parent's heads? with the odd mumble at them as they try to concentrate on their msn conversation? that's why i haven't been here very much, I wait until the kids are out paying, or in bed asleep, unles I'm working of course, then I set aside time for that which they know I have to do - in return I set aside time to go swimming or something they might enjoy

I'm nowhere near where I want to be with either of my boys, not even close, but for now, they are out of immediate danger of becoming gang members *Knocks on wood* and are beginning to realise it's not okay to continue their behaviour, they still do even though it's not okay but it's getting less & less thankfully and they are even considering their future careers etc, but i wouldn't say that would work for every kid either, it certainly hasn't worked for the eldest.

I don't have the answers, all I can say from personal experience is get to know your children for the poeple they are, not the people you want them to be has got to be the way to go - then draw on that

And you're right, I am still Exhausted - but I'll survive that one  :wink:

Why doesn't someone set up an Irc chat room so you can all talk away from the public board?

I'm sure no one would mind it being hosted via here?

I'm sorry i can't do much other than write e mails and letters from here.....