Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I would happily participate in working toward reforms and such.  Things have to change- at least at MMS.  
Commenting quickly, Mercer and Mike Finn were the two founders I found to be extremely abusive- though I believe Mike is no longer there.  Gary Kent would occasionally expressed dismay at their tactics through physical expression, but never did I hear him address Mercer or Finn verbally.

So, what can be done?  Things have to change... Is it true that music is prohibited.  It was regulated while I was there, but at the time was my only source of comfort.

I also relate to what 'Antigen' said about joke/private reality check.  Being so duplicitous is so straining and made me feel crazy. Lying and hearing those lies repeated back to me conforted me in the sense that it kept the sense that this was all a fictional experience (in a way) b/c it was as I was not developing.  I was hiding and repressing my core.  Out of everything, that was the worst aspect of MMS for me.

I attended MMS, I am 26 now.  I found the methods used to push for change were coersive at best, abusive verbally and emotionally- even physically if you include all the labor at it's worse.  

Education was sorely lacking- it has taken me many many years to catch up with my peer, although perhaps I would not have attended school anyway- left to my own devices, unless sent to a place, perhaps like 'New Haven' someone mentioned- sounds nice....  Things went from bad to worse after I 'graduated.'  From what I have heard from friend that attended MMS, some it was a learning experience, for others it has not. ( I think a lot of this also has to do with transitional period b/c MMS and the real world- going from being so isolated to living at home after only a few visits is a terribly difficult adjustment to make.)  
At MMS they pushed the AA thing, and pushed students to 'admit' they had been abused and drug problem.  truthfully I often would lie about things just to tell them something so that during group they would lay off.  
During my time at MMS I was also dealing with gay issues, so that's another point that I felt was important to have addressed if the aim of the school was in fact to be helpful, but that was ignored and it was suggested that this was displacement of feelings, as if this desire to act out was like the desire to do drugs.  Most things were considered displacement of feelings, actually.  I was often told I was too f**ked up, that's why you're hereand that my own mind couldn't be trusted.  Took about 7 years to get over that one...
The counselors were often so condescending I never felt understood or like I was allowed to question anything I felt was questionable, often downright objectionable.  That was considered being resistant and would have extreme consequences. So, intimidation play a huge role in maintaing cotrol.  Essentially I played dumb the entire time.  I repeated word for word whatever they told us to believe and after 2 years began to almost believe it- I became a very good liar, unfortunately...  
Like everyone else has posted, the work is brutal- chopping wood for all the counselors to enjoy as 'consequnece'/punishment, 'intervention' was awful, being cut of from friends whom you love is extremely traumatic, the pressure to go along with everything is unbearable...Funny, someone mentioned Colleen called them and they felt intimidated as they did while attending MMS- yea, she called me too a few years ago, I s'pose after I posted all over the web how awful and ineffective I thought the school was.  At first the wave of fear washed over me, for a moment I turned 13 again and had been caught doing something I wasn't supposed to- expressing my true feelings and criticizing this program.  I even began thinking, maybe I'm wrong and perhaps it's only me who doesn't think this program is  harmful... then I thought, damn- i must be nuts, it's been 10 years since this experience and yet the feelings of it still linger. . . I returned the call but never heard back. And, I stand by what I feel.  Too much time has passed for me too feel intimidated and for this to be anything less that a carefully considered representation of my position on MMS.  I think this school and probably many others need to be better regulation.  Years ago I would have liked to file criminal charges, but now I would like to just move. I feel strongly that their methods should, if it they are not already, be considered criminal...
 EdCon need to keep their eyes open and watch for regurgitation of words feed to the student day in and day out- the words may sound good, but I remember when they would visit us at MMS I would pray they would see the desperation I felt inside despite the bs coming out of my mouth- but nothing...

Thankfully, however, the educational consultant I dealt with will not recommend MMS anymore, Jill Porter of La Jolla after she saw that the program did not work for me and another student who was sent there by her. We both left worse than when we arrived.
Needless to say, I would not recommend this school.
I can't resist mentioning that at about 70k a year, could be- probably is- more, these couselors are make a killing off desperate parents...esp considering upkeep, maintanance is done by students. When I was there we chopped wood for the counselors personal use and built paths along the campus, not to mention daily upkeep was all done by the students.
ON a slightly positive note- I did enjoy the outdoors, learning to winter camp and x-country ski, but think I could've gotten that out of a better program at a cheaper price.