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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Hi Concerned Mother,
Do not let anyone make this decision for you.  It is no one else's child but yours.  The people on this board offer a great deal of wisdon and experience from programs that GT has spawned from (ie THE Seed, STRAIGHT,LIFE etc...). Many of the practices that were utilized in these programs are also utilized in GT, however I think modified somewhat.  Knowing what I know about such programs, I believe that GT is a kinder and more gentle place based on my own experience.  My Daughter has been at GT for sometime now and I believe she has benefited greatly from her experience.  Do I agree with all of their tactics...no.  But if you ask me if I think that they played a part in saving my Daughter's life, the answer is yes, without a doubt.
I respect the opinions of the people who post here frequently and maybe they will offer their wisdom and experience to you as well as some interesting reading.  Again, I must emphasize that this decision is yours and yours alone (as well as your spouse).  Get the facts and make up your own mind.  My experience has been very good.  Everyone is different.  It is important to get both sides of the story and then make your decision.
Whatever it is you decide I wish you the best.  I understand your frustration and fear.  Good luck to you.[ This Message was edited by: DC on 2005-02-24 07:03 ]

Hello all,
I appreciate your concern over my wherabouts.  I know you are thinking about my daughter.  I have been given alot of information and I am going over it all and discussing it with my wife.  While I realize that most posters here have had negative experiences in similar type programs (not so sure of the similarities any longer), I am having a difficult time in understanding some of the mind control issues which you all have spoken about and have also provided links.  I am evaluating this information and seeking other avenues of understanding.
Thanks again for your thoughts.

Sara,
I really did do everything.  i was at my wits end.  We were in family therapy for a year and it didn't change a thing.  I switched thrapists, i did it all.  Rehab was the last option.  
Your questions have all been good ones, I appreciate the time and thought put into them.  I am sorry for being combative.  I was frustrated.
Thanks for all your help.

Thanks Greg, I know that what you said is sincere and I appreciate it.
I cannot say what I will do at this point, but you all have raised some very valid points.  I still believe things a bit differently than you, but maybe now I have some good references to start looking up.  yes, I saved the links to my favorites and have begun to read a few.  So I can honestly say that I have an open mind.
I know that you have in mind to disuade people from making the same choice as your parents as well as maybe something theraputic, so from the heart I do appreciate it.

I appreciate your 4 cents, I really do.  The things that you mention are all sound ideas.  What if i told you that I hid everything, all the time, and still money and items came up missing?  What if I told you I had daily progress reports set up with her teachers and she still continued to cut class and fail?  That she didn't care anymore.  What if i told you that I did work on assignments with her and try to help her with her grades?
These problems are all associated with behavior related to taking drugs.  I am saying that I had her seeing psychologists and psychiatrists, took her to group therapy, damn near did everything I could.  I can't think of anything I didn't try, and I still failed.  
She is not afraid to talk about GT, we have had many discussions.  I even told her that I would pull her from the program if there was anything she felt she couldn't tell me, she understands this.  She is adament that there is no abuse.  She has no bruises, she doesn't come home upset, but more like the little girl she used to be before the drugs.  This program is close, there would be talk about things going on, but there is none.
I guess I am asking the wrong people.None of you believe the things I believe (regarding the disease of addiction).  through my observation of GT, I was curious to see why you all felt the way you do.  My conclusions are that none of you are addicts, making it impossible to understand the concept.  And also that you were put in your programs against your will and now still hold on to the grudge.  I will also say that I do believe that in the times that you were in these programs they were probably a bit different.  That maybe they did abuse you, I'm sorry about that.  No child should be abused.  i do not see the point that I am in fact abusing my daughter, I see it as saving her life.
Thanks again

First of all, that was not me that posted as "anonymous" today.  You must agree that I cannot be the only one who disagrees with you.  I am here to respond to questions raised by "jjpinks".  Sorry, but i don't know how to use the quote system, so I copied and pasted the questions:


On 2005-02-01 12:50:00, jjpinks wrote:

"I just have couple of questions (and I know that there are a few that may have already been asked, but I am sure that they haven't been answered by you yet)





1. Do you really, in the depths of your gut, believe that teenagers singing childrens songs is helping them become productive adults and helping them to get over whatever "addictions" that you think that they may have

 





2. Do you think that not having any contact with their families helps bring the kids closer to their parents  



3. Don't you think that maybe the reason for alot of your daughters problems stem from you being a "victimized addict with a disease" (your words, not mine)  





I am not trying to attack you, I am just really interested in hearing your answers. "
 




You never answered these questions for me DC.

I would love to hear your response.

Thanx!
N





I am not trying to attack you, I am just really interested in hearing your answers. "
 




You never answered these questions for me DC.

I would love to hear your response.

Thanx!
N

The answer to question #1 is no, I do not believe that singing children songs benefits nor harms the kids in any way.  The only value I can see that may come from it is that it may reintroduce them to the wholesomness of childhood.

The answer to question #2 is that in the beginning, yes, I think that in the beginning, once a kid goes to GT, the parents are upset and the child is upset.  That removing a kid from close contact with their family may help, as long as it is for a short period.  Do I believe that long extended periods of time is good for family & child, the answer is no.  This is not my experience.  My daughter made 2nd phase in a month.  Did I miss her, yes I did.  My daughter was never beligerent, never threw fits, but she did steal money, stay out all night, steal from her friends, get raped by a supposed friend and used many different and dangerous drugs, etc...   By the time we decided on GT, she knew that she needed help.  She had been in AA and had a sponsor for a year before her relapse.

The answer to number 3 is that I don't remember using those words.  I don't think I ever called myself "victimized". If I did, then I would like you to show me.  If I did, then you probably took them out of context.  What I do believe is that alcoholism is a disease (don't everyone laugh).  I am entitled to my belief.  It is shared by many professionals, and I don't think it neccessarily means that they are all in it for the money.  This industry is abused just like all other industries.  Saying that, I also think it can be inheritated.  While many times it manifests itself not with the use of alcohol or drugs it can be food, sex etc...  I think my daughter was predisposed genetically.

I hope these answers satisfy you.  I have been honest to the bone as to how I feel and what I think.  Gt has not harmed my child in any way.  She is on an upper phase now and I speak to her about these issues all the time.  Whether or not they have harmed others, I don't know, maybe.  But I can tell you this, there is NO physical abuse going on there.  I seriously doubt that there is any abuse going on at all.  I think that with the past investigations and other things that may or may not have happened that this program has been cleaned up.  Do they use questionable tactics?  Yes.  Are they illegal?  No.  I am very satisfied with my daughter's progress.  Sorry you don't believe the way I do, but thats ok.  I was too harsh in my initial posts and probably came across as combative.  But I also didn't deserve alot of the harshness that was thrown at me.  I guess there are two sides to every story and sometimes it is frustrating to try and articulate them by pen, especially when trying to work at the same time.  I am willing to forgive and forget, hopefully you all will feel the same.

FUCK YOU HAPPY GIRL
YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE AND I'M SICK OF YOUR NAME CALLING
GO TO HELL YOU PATHETIC FUCKING LOSER
ROT IN HELL BITCH