Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

On 2005-05-11 08:46:00, GregFL wrote:

"Pirate, hit the Quote button
                                                                                             
"let go or be dragged"."

 
    i have a good freind who's an old timer and rather a poetic drunk who says "the bird has wings to fly but the real trick is in the letting go of the branch 'cause that tree's just too dang heavy.
      Thanx, Greg,...i think it worked, but how do i surround the quote w/my own words and what if i want to quote multiple times in one reply.  Maybe this is obvious or something and i'm just not seeing it. Here let me show you what i mean; this is how i wanted to respond:

          Thanx, Greg,
               Now let me see here..."pirate, hit the quote button", i think it's working

               
..."let go or be dragged".              
               

           i've got a good freind, he's an old timer and a rather poetic drunk who says "the birds' got wings to fly, but the real trick is in the letting go of the branch, 'cause that tree's just too dang heavy"
            - slightly perplexed by technology.

Right on brother, thanx for representing.  i will put together my case and e-mail it to you.  Best of luck.  Rock on.

Hi Geoff, good to hear from you.  You're right i don't remember you or the story you refer to of some guy who got busted w/a bowl in the med cart.  Are you trying to tell me that someone actually had a pipe in group?  i can't believe it.  Anyway i hope your doing alright 'n' such.  late.

            -agana

Yo - Tampa Survivor,

      I hear ya, i mean the whole thing is just a mess.  As phasers we didn't have a whole lot of options, and i wasn't there by my own choice.  If i'd 'a' been 18 i would 'a' signed myself out in a heartbeat.  As it was i did everything i could to resist.  i managed to cop out off 1st phase on my 64th day, but a bunch of 7-steeppers/(ex)staff hunted me down after 2 days, they physically had to grab me off the street, i mean they abducted me and threw me into their car and sped away.  i struggled w/them and even pulled a knife out and held it up on the drivers' throat and threatened to bleed him if he didn't let me out.  i was in the back seat w/1 7-stepper/(ex)staff on either side of me, 4 of them altogether in the vehicle.  Well i really wasn't about to cut the kid.  i was just hoping the threat would be enough but it wasn't.  Some "druggie freinds" of mine had been in pursuit of the vehicle i was in and ther was a high speed car chase down Braddock rd.  Suddenly the clutch burned out in the vehicle i was in.  My loyal and devoted "druggie freinds" caught up to us at that point and tried to free me but the 7-steppers/(ex)staff just kept me inside the vehicle w/the doors locked 'till the cops showed up.  i told the cop i wanted to be emancipated.  the next day i was brought back into group.  This is only 1 chapter in a long history of personal resistence.  i mean there were times when i sat w/my hand down for months at a time, i was on all kinds of consequences, and once i was kept in an intake room for a week because staff was afraid of my influence on the group.  my point here is that i did everything i could think of not to participate in the injustice that was all around me.  eventually though i decided that i had to play along if i ever wanted to get out.  i habitually played along 'till 3rd phase and then i would run on my 1st day back to school.  i copped-out and was brought back 4 times, so phasers i can easily forgive, we were all in the same trap together.  The staff though is a little different.  Some of them weren't so bad and some even seemed compassionate at times but there were definately some who were on sadistic ego trips.  i am tempted to name names but that would only be a little bit of revenge and not justice.  i was groomed for staff myself, but knew all along that once i graduated i would want nothing more to do w/the straight gang rape.  So i do think staff has something to apologize for but i'm not holding my breath.
        Wether you decide to forgive or not only effects you; why live in meanness, why perpetuate your suffering? Here's some rock-n-roll wisdom for you, i hope it helps: "...so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key..." -The Eagles (Already Gone)
         Anyway the real challenge for me was forgiving my folks, i guess i'm still working on that. Best of luck, freind, i feel ya.                                                       -starry-eyed pirate

_________________
If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.[ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed pirate on 2005-05-09 15:22 ]

i have been isolated from my former comrades for a long time.  i had to get away from there to try to leave it behind me.  It sorta helped in a way i guess but straight was and continues to be an experience that is part of my conditioning as an individual.  
     Now i would like to re-establish contact w/people who were there when i was there.  Connie S***m*n can u hear me?  Nick D*ri** where are you old freind? Mike R***le? Rachel S**e*tz? Mike P***st? John K*la*d? Michelle Wi**i**s? Can anyone relate?
                 -todd eck**be*g*r,drug war p.o.w. (3/15/85-2/14/87,springfield,VA)[ This Message was edited by: agana on 2005-05-05 17:29 ][ This Message was edited by: agana on 2005-05-08 17:13 ]

...uh... i'm kinda new around here n'all and as i 've been perusing the various postings, the last 2 days i see a lot of righteous indignation being expressed as well as some folks saying, well, you know just quit your bitchin' and move on and such, and that point is taken. living in the past is a form of self-delusion and only serves to perpetuate the injustice.  However, the injustices committed against me were grievous and systematically intentional.  the brainwash that i was forced into was intended to have a permanent grip on me and it does.  Almost every day i struggle w/fear,anxiety and paranoia.  I am hyper aware and hyper sensitive to the world around me.  My skin was drastically thinned by my experience in straight.  To survive in there i had to adapt to a cult-like intimacy.  I learned to communicate in very specific terms.  I learned to psycho-analyze everything in extreme detail.  I learned to interpret the symptoms of psychological conditions in myself as well as others.  i feel like i know too much, like a door has been opened that was better left shut.  i have trouble dealing w/people who don't share the same sensitivities.  it's extremely difficult for me to even keep a job.  i feel like the friends that i still have from straight and i are on a whole 'nother level.  i feel like i'm too honest but i don't know how to manage that kind of responsibility in the outside world.  i'm fucked-up.
        On the other hand these are the very skills which are cultivated by seekers of spiritual insight.  People spend their whole lives trying to gain such awareness. My friend who was there in straight w/me and shares the same general prespective says it's a gift and i see that it is, but i feel like it's a real heavy weight to carry.  Everything is so intense and dynamic, i feel everything so deeply.  i'm touched, i'm blessed
         At the same time i still harbor anger and resentment towards i'm not even sure who. it's just anger.  i'm angry that i was held captive against my will for 2 years of my life and subjected to mind-control and psychological blackmail at such an impressionable age.  So many things were taken from me that i can never get back. Friends were lost, time i should have had w/ my brother and sister, a normal high-school career; my right to self-determination was stolen from me and not just by some shady thief downtown but by an entire system of adults.
          It's ironic but when i was growing up i learned to sing all kinds of patriotic songs in elementery school: "your a grand ol' flag, my country 'tis of thee" etc., and i was taught the pledge of allegience.  As the son of a military officer i was taught that i should be glad i lived in America and not in the Soviet Union because in the Soviet Union people didn't have rights and weren't free.  Citizens of that oppressive government could be arrested in secret by unkown operatives and taken away to secret prisons where they could be tortured and brainwashed and held indefinately.  This is basically what happened to me right here in America.  Now they want to know why i won't wave the flag.  i say FUCK authority.  Authority wants to keep you in fear and use you to perpetuate oppression.  When people are just to one another and no longer treat each other as commodities or as a means to some end, real freedom will come to be and government will be obsolete.
         O, don't get me started, i can go off....PEACE
                   :skull:  -starry-eyed pirate  :skull: [ This Message was edited by: agana on 2005-05-05 16:02 ]

yeah, i want to get it together.  i have alot of emotional drive to expend on this situation. exactly what do u have in mind. i am new to this whole discussion forum scene but yeah, i do want to get organized.  i would like to see a reunion of survivors from springfield.  you know i never really had much of a high school experience, instead i spent my 17th and 18th years of life incarcerated illegally in a brainwash gulag.  let me know what u r thinking, fka - todd(starry-eyed pirate)[ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed pirate on 2005-05-09 15:28 ]