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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Saying " I love you "
« on: September 03, 2009, 03:23:44 PM »
I just had to see if anyone else out there has a problem verbalizing intimate feelings for others. I sat in Straight for a year and a half telling people all day long that i loved them even when I despised them. I mean, how many times a day did we have to yell in unison " luv ya" so and so. Probably hundreds of times a day. Once I got out I just couldn't hardly say it anymore. Or every time I did I felt inside like I was just lying. It has made me question myself as to whether or not I even know what love is. It seems like I knew it instinctively before I went to Straight but somehow they took that away from me too. I am determined to take it all back. It may not be entirely possible but I want back everything they took. At least I would like to be able to say "I love you" without feeling like a fucking lying scumbag.