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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

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Quote from: "DannyB II"

Quote from: "Matt C. Hoffman"

I wonder if there are other

residents that have successfully put elan in its properspective,  and consider themselves a success . I am willing to bet that there are quite a few  folks that don't credit any cult program with their success,(like elan)

This was one of the lost threads that I was talking about ,and I am glad the it has been found.

Anne you are most correct.( great letter btw from Shapiro to his daughter)

Peace

Matt

:shamrock:
I believe there are many. I have read there stories on various sites, talked with old friends who know of others who are doing well. They got better just like we did, we just have not met them yet. It is not all gloom and doom...lol
Danny

I think that's the key.  They're successful in spite of it, not because of it.

:shamrock:  :shamrock:
No some of the principles that Elan was trying to teach did work for me in life. I also am alive today because I went to Elan. Why? I stopped shooting dope, drinking outrageously and being a criminal. I was on my way to committing even more crimes that could have got me killed at that time in my life. Most of the staff and Directors did nothing to help your right but just being there away from my old haunts helped. Though there were some staff and Directors who helped me Wendy Freeman, Ken Steer, Rick Rosenhaus, Louie Ginsberg, Ed Friedman and most of his staff at E-5 in '75. See I have a hard time relating with alot of folks here because of different backgrounds and circumstances. Elan was actually better then juvie and my home really. So I sucked it up played the game and got out of the house as much as I could.
Very sick set of circumstances but these were the cards I was dealt at the time. Some of us had no good choices being children.
Do I  have empathy for others of course I do. I watched the horrific abuses that went on there I just tried to block it out and when they allowed me to drive, I drove everywhere and stayed out as long as I could.
Danny

National Youth Rights Association This is fascinating. Totally undercuts all the science about teen brains and overprotective parenting. http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn1 ... brain.html
Mom and dad, stop stifling me – it's damaging my brain - health - 11 March 2010 - New Scientist
www.newscientist.com
Overprotective parents don't just limit their children's freedom – they may also slow brain growth in an area linked to mental illness.
 :shamrock:

#215 Post by Guest » Mon May 17, 2004 2:34 pm

    Rumors are one thing, fact is another! And starting a rumor is yet another ... usually, for revenge. As I have had my bouts with addiction which seem to hit every 15 years or so, I make sure I don't work where I am helping others. I seek therapy, go to meetings and stop it before any damage is done to myself or others. It's something I openly admit and must live with. If you consider me abusive, that is an opinion and you are entitled to it for sure. FACT ... I have never been arrested for possesion and have never been arrested for spousal abuse. The fact is I have never HIT, HURT or EVEN threatend any woman let alone my wife. For the people that eat-up the negative comments about others on this site concerning arrest records the FACTS are easy enough to find. Any web detective check site will do the trick. If you rebel don't do it in a way where others are hurt intentialy or hurt yourself ... Only ONE soul to a customer!!! Evaluate all sides. Are you a king or a pawn? Or in this case are you just sheep?

    This is the first and last time I will read anything on this site or address anything on this site. Life is too short to entertain rumors and arguments in cyber space, or to entertain lying and the need to over defend oneself, plus it's like hanging around negative people. For the most part "You are who you hang with" at least in my situations. I've learned a lot of lessons in life by making mistakes. For those of you that have pointed out things like arrogance etc. THANK YOU, for without looking at these things and trying really hard to change them I risk a spiritual death! Life is not linier nor is it black and white. If I don't embrace the struggles that change offers I risk stagnation.

    Concerning Elan ... I never believed in the ring, having someone sit in the corner for a lengthy time or general meetings where people stand up close and yell. My opinion ... GMs should happen from one's chair where they expound on their anger and not necessarily yelling. I was one of the people that fought to have the crowd stand back at least 10ft. As for the ring, people that are violent and afraid to work in groups and be honest in conversations and confrontaions with staff and other students just don't belong there. And the corner can be affective but if the students and staff are smarter and use those smarts and compassion that situation can be avoided.

    Marc

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 :shamrock:  :shamrock:
If this in fact is Marc as his name would indicate in the end, then I would like a opportunity to challenge him on his claim that he never believed in the ring, corner, signs and GM's ect... because his actions say something different.
I spoke with Marc last in 1993 and most of our conversation was concerning Elan's discipline. How barbaric it was and how it was allowed to continue. Marc said, (not verbatim) well were still getting a lot of state kids and this is all they respond to. State kids poor white kids, African Americans and Hispanic. I was one of them. State pays primarily 100% of fee.
Now I also know ex-employees of these places go through a shift in conscious and start to realize that hey maybe I really did not want to be this way or act this way, I just went along like sheep. It can be very baffling experience to go through. Not to say oh lets feel sorry for Marc or me. No please don't read that into this.
I just wish if it was him that he would of posted more and wrote a apology letter. It seems he was just starting to set the table then he quit.
Well Marc if you read these posts like I've been told you do at times. Read this, reach down deep and help someone like you have never done it before in your life. Make amends. They do transcend.
Danny
P.S. I did not mean to say that "State Kids" were the only ones being abused with the violence or the corner. No,  you and I know that is not true. This was his bigoted perception.

I wonder if there are other

residents that have successfully put elan in its properspective,  and consider themselves a success . I am willing to bet that there are quite a few  folks that don't credit any cult program with their success,(like elan)

This was one of the lost threads that I was talking about ,and I am glad the it has been found.

Anne you are most correct.( great letter btw from Shapiro to his daughter)

Peace

Matt

:shamrock:
I believe there are many. I have read there stories on various sites, talked with old friends who know of others who are doing well. They got better just like we did, we just have not met them yet. It is not all gloom and doom...lol
Danny

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