Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones => Topic started by: Anonymous on January 22, 2007, 09:37:22 PM
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I am a former ceduite, and contrary to what the person said about me a few posts back (and i appreciate you using my full name for all the world to see) i have not diappeared. i am not terrible. ia m actually a very well and healty human being with a beautiful 5 year old son. sure i had a hard time when i was there, and when i ran away, and when i got kicked out and after id left.... but you know what??? i am fine. i overdaosed 3 times, got in hella trouble, but thru it all, at least i knew there were other options. i knew that there was a different kind of life that i could live. i do not hate it (altho im sure i did when i was there). i am not f***** up because of it. i dont think it was a cult (but who am i talk, right? im LDS) but i am actually grateful to have had the opportunity to find out who i am, things about me that i never wouldve known, like that hey...I CAN CLIMB A FRICKEN MOUTAIN!!!! who wouldve thought? i am not all pro-cedu, but some of us had no other way out of the mess that we had gotten ourselves into before cedu. and for me, it was the ONLY way that wouldve worked. and i know this was a good place for Kim too, even tho she did have her own path in life and made some undesireable choices....WHO WAS MY BEST FRIEND, whom by the way is dead and I DONT APPRECIATE YOU USING HER FULL NAME ON THIS SITE. but i just think that CEDU was for certain kind of people with certain personalities, and not for others. but it was an experiece, and like any other life experience, you may or may not like it. but you had it. so stop whining and complaining about how you were made some kind of a victim and get off your lazy butt and do something about your life. its not anyone elses fault that you got yourself sent there. no one beat you up there or molested you or hurt you. it was a safe place. and by the way, a lot of the theorys there were based on actually psychological principals and exercises developed by great doctors thru time. so dont blame cedu. and it also sounds to me like your main problem is learning how to move on..let go....maybe a possible case of OCD?????maybe you need some anger management.....and some therapy to work on your hostility and inability to take any responsibility for yourself. maybe you need to figure out why you feel like such a victim of everything and everyone else-except yourself.
forgiveness dude.
look it up.
God Bless yyou sir, and i pray that you may find Peace within yourself and with your experience there.
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Well, thanks for the pep-talk, there, maynard.
I could go into the same old song and dance argument like all of us have done on this site at one point or another about the whole "get over it" shpeal, and argue on a point-by-point basis about how detrimental the program is, its history, etc., but I have a more important question for you...
but i just think that CEDU was for certain kind of people with certain personalities, and not for others.
Would you mind elaborating on this? It's a very curious statement.
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. and by the way, a lot of the theorys there were based on actually psychological principals and exercises developed by great doctors thru time. .
Wrong. Start here to see that CEDU is a direct descendant of Synanon, a documented, dangerous cult.
http://fornits.com/wwf/search.php?mode=results (http://fornits.com/wwf/search.php?mode=results)
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Being in an environment that used abusive verbal barrage as a tool to promote "emotional growth", that included emotional ambushes, a re-write of my personal history through staff coersion, a prolonged hijack of independent thought, and extensive , destructive exploitation of my feelings, fears, vulnerabilties, and personal truth had one big impact when I got out. Don't trust anyone or get close to anyone again in any real, meaningful way, because they will exploit you, "misunderstand" you to their benefit, or try and control you in some way. Another was that I looked at every situation polemically. Thus, sub consciously, I was judging people on the outside by whether they were "in agreement." I didn't know I was doing it at the time. But it made it impossible to accept anyone by CEDU's standards, which were contrived and unrealistic.
I also saw my emotions so exploited, that at the end of my stay, I deadened access to them, so I wouldn't have to display them and the possibility of them being violated. In fact, sensitive person I am, I became numb. Even during CEDU, I found the emotional process so inauthentic that I could not cry. I really, really tried, because it seemed so important that I cried and screamed my way to salvation... Prior to that, I used to cry at AT&T commercials.
Last, I had some real issues that needed to be addressed. None of them were ever addressed at CEDU because one, self esteem was destroyed there, and two, they weren't equipped to deal with emotional growth on any level at all. Three, they weren't even dealing with what was real. They wrote a script for me, badgered me until I adopted it, but most of their perspective of my history was completely false. Even the truth, like, that I had slept with one boyfriend and was raped was reconstituted in such a way that I was treated like a slut by the staff. I'd never even been promiscuous. In fact, when I got out of there, my whole sexual perspective was seriously skewed.
Basically, I left CEDU with soem of the same issues, plus more...
The fact that they lied to and manipulated my parents, lied to and manipulated me, had my parents lie to me for the first time, and crossed major ethical therapeutic boundaries contributed a deep mistrust of authority, that extended to the therapeutic community at times when I needed to reach out for help.
My trust and respect for my parents was further disrupted when I saw how deftly they were manipulated, choosing to believe CEDU over me, when my problem had never been lying...In fact, I could have learned to hone that skill better to facilitate easier transactions at CEDU. The kids who did best there knew it was a con, and knew how to play the game.
Finally, living in an isolated environment, where you see the truth terrifically distorted, watch staff members lie, manipulate, and distort reality, see students adopt an attitude toward echother similar to Hitler youth in the sense of being conditioned to rat bully, spy on, and abuse their peers, affected me in ways I can't even articulate. Not to mention, that speaking your personal truth was stamped out to oblivion to the extent you didn't even know yourself anymore.
It's been a long, long time since I've posted and I feel I've, for the most part, assimilated and made peace with it, on some level, but given the opportunity, wanted to "testify" about the realiy of this experience.
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DID YOU GRADUATE- SELF PROCLAIMED CEDU- ITE?
IF NOT, WHEN DID YOU SPLIT?
WHAT WAS YOUR LAST PROFEET?
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DID YOU GRADUATE- SELF PROCLAIMED CEDU- ITE?
IF NOT, WHEN DID YOU SPLIT?
WHAT WAS YOUR LAST PROFEET?
Which post are you referring to and WHY ARE YOU YELLING?
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a cedu ite is someone who went to cedu. dork.
you cant be a self proclaimed ceduite. you just are someone who went to cedu.
and my name is not maynard. and i did not graduate. i split in 1992 a few weeks before i was supposed to graudate. i went thru everything, all the propheets and workshops.
and yes WHY ARE YOU YELLING??????
andby the way, nice of you to defend, but i wasnt talking to you
=)
and to answer someone elses question......i think that my personality was the kind that benefited from being there because ofthe process i went thru inside myslef as a result of being taken out of the extremely self destructive environment that i was in. i think someone with a different personality, maybe like yours, someone who likes their life the way it was/is, whatever that may be, well then i dont think its for them. but for someone who wanted to change and just didnt know how, it was good.
the definition of a cult is a group of people whoall follow the same belief system or all have the same beilief in a single thing. so anyone who believes in Jesus is in a cult. and so is anyone who watches LOST religiously. and so is anyone who loves the movie THE IRON GIANT....OR ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS ANY BELIEF SYSTEM OR ANY ONE THING AT ALL.......
everthing is a cult. so then yes, CEDU was a cult.
so? who cares?
WTF?
Geton with it. now you have all created here a CULT...
a CULT of people who hate and spend their whole life trying to destroy something that DOESNT EVEN EXIST ANYMORE!!!!!
=)
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if i am discussing this with people who i once knew and loved......(and presumably still would of course)
hmm.
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Superwoman-
Which peer group were you in? (ie who was in the group- I don't remember actual peer group names except mine....)
I'm fairly certain I know you- did you go to the high school in running springs? were you in flour 5 when you split (oh that ill-fated dorm)
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i dont remeber the names of things..but i think i was in the white dorm when i ran away. i dont know what peer group i was in. (for being "brainwashed" i sure dont remember a lot of stuff about the place)
=)
do we know eachother????
curious.....
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yes, i did go to running springs. and my peer group combined with another one, so there were a lot of us.....
:)
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a cedu ite is someone who went to cedu. dork.
Kiss my ass dickhead. Duh. I know what a cedu-ite is. I was wondering which post you were referring to. The quote feature is good for that.
you cant be a self proclaimed ceduite. you just are someone who went to cedu.
and my name is not maynard. and i did not graduate. i split in 1992 a few weeks before i was supposed to graudate. i went thru everything, all the propheets and workshops.
and yes WHY ARE YOU YELLING??????
andby the way, nice of you to defend, but i wasnt talking to you
=)
We didn't know WHO you were talking to, that's why we asked. Touchy, touchy. Damn.
and to answer someone elses question......i think that my personality was the kind that benefited from being there because ofthe process i went thru inside myslef as a result of being taken out of the extremely self destructive environment that i was in. i think someone with a different personality, maybe like yours, someone who likes their life the way it was/is, whatever that may be, well then i dont think its for them. but for someone who wanted to change and just didnt know how, it was good.
::fuckoff:: ::both:: ::fuckoff:: ::both::
the definition of a cult is a group of people whoall follow the same belief system or all have the same beilief in a single thing. so anyone who believes in Jesus is in a cult. and so is anyone who watches LOST religiously. and so is anyone who loves the movie THE IRON GIANT....OR ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS ANY BELIEF SYSTEM OR ANY ONE THING AT ALL.......
everthing is a cult. so then yes, CEDU was a cult.
Definition of cult:
http://www.ex-cult.org/bite.html (http://www.ex-cult.org/bite.html)
Read up. You'll find it enlightening.
so? who cares?
WTF?
Geton with it. now you have all created here a CULT...
a CULT of people who hate and spend their whole life trying to destroy something that DOESNT EVEN EXIST ANYMORE!!!!!
=)
Ah, but the decendants do. We're here to keep other kids from having to go through the same bullshit that we did.
DUH[/b] :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Superwoman- I tried to PM you but can't find your username. email me at [email protected] (that's 2 v's, not a w!)
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i am not a dickhead and i really dont appreciate being called one. i am not one. and i am sorry for calling you a dork. but can we have a civillaized discussion without becoming ape like and carnivorous?
and as for the comment about the quote feature, well i just found this site last night while googling my name and so i am not sure how to do this. (nor am i very computer savvy)
so i am sorry for not doing it "right".
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i am not a dickhead and i really dont appreciate being called one. i am not one. and i am sorry for calling you a dork. but can we have a civillaized discussion without becoming ape like and carnivorous?
Yes, you're the one yelling and calling people dorks.
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What's going on here?
Why would someone go through the Summit and then split?
That's very wierd. Even suspect.
You appear here after 15 years posting what you posted. It might seem to you, as it does to me that there is a lot of self anger and regret there.
REGRET
sabotage.
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What's going on here?
Why would someone go through the Summit and then split?
That's very wierd. Even suspect.
You appear here after 15 years posting what you posted. It might seem to you, as it does to me that there is a lot of self anger and regret there.
REGRET
sabotage.
I just got bored and me and my friends decided to run away. we wanted a cigarette. it was not complex or confusing. very simple. we were sick of it. done. finished. all three of us had gone thru the summit already. we were gone for 3 days. f*** up the whole time. we got caught at the bus station.
the only thing i ever regreted was not finishing something. but now i have my college degree. so i have finsihed something. so no regrets anymore. wierd maybe, but suspect? what do you mean? we were legends at cedu in our own day.....i even met people later inlife from cedu who knew who i was, i was somewhat famous :)
suhweet
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To the first Poster:
I'm glad you are doing well, but there is no therapist who would advocate the principles of this program. The program was not develped by psychologists or doctors (unless they played one on TV) and was not administered by trained staff. It simply isn't psychologically sound to encourage the verbal and emotional barrage of abuse that occurred there, not to mention the coersion, contrived experientials that were designed to manipulate your psyche, and the outright lies and manipulations to parents.
Moreover, ethical therapeutic boundaries are an essential component of therapist-client relationships, and let's face it--the staff at CEDU were not complying. They were working out their shit on us, giving us a blow by blow of their "formerly" fucked up life, while we are supposed to feel safe with them. No, these elements are not conducive to promoting emotional well being. It's really not difficult to see.
Also--it's not really "over"--many of these places still exist, unregulated. Who cares what happens years ago? Maybe. But I do care still happens today.
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you know.....especially to blownawaytheidahoway......i left cedu after getting kicked out and went on with my life. i went backa nd visited dennis docksteader who i still think is one of the coolest human beings in the world....
i left and just went on with my life. glad to be home, a little sad to not have graduated with my "class" but neverthless, happy to be home.
t never occurred to me that people had such a hard time with it. it never occurred to me that it could really possibly be a cult. it never occurred to me that something might have really been wrong with the adults calling ME a slut and telling me horrible things about myself and that maybe it WASNT just me. anyway, just thought id mention it.
also, I still want to know what "suspect" means?? if youd like to know my full CEDU story id be happy to tell you.
and why do i show up here 15 years later............
i didnt even know this thing exsited until yesterday. (and its been 17 years)
and also, like i said, i just left and went on with my life. occasionally missed my friends from there, sometimes thought of strange things, random things..but mostly people...but i never even thoguht about it. not for YEARS. then i found this site. now it makes me think.
but i knew i didnt like it, but i just left after getting kicked out and just, well, lived. almost essentially forgot all about it. just knew thatit did do some good for me. but IT didnt do that, I did.
anyway, if youd like to know more details of the runaways after the summit just let me know..
id be happy to share.
THIS IS WRITTEN TO BLOWNAWAYTHEIDAHOWAY
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I wrote the post addressed to the first poster ... sorry can't get my password working here to log in.)
You know what? That's what happened to me. I never spoke about it, and 17 years later came to this site on a random google. I thought about it often, but I split, too, and was persona non grata to my former peers. (Staff saw to this.) I knew it was a fucked up experience, but I also internalized it in negative ways, and could not discuss it with anyone back home. No one would relate. (All my former friends thought I went to boarding school. A regular one.)
So--I had no one to shoot the shit with about this UFO experience, and on a lark, I was thinking about it, googled it, and came to Fornits. The earlier postings here were very intense and more analytical and disturbing (it kind of fell part to banal crap by recent graduates--sorry.) When I first came here, I was addicted... I consumed everything and it really helped validate my feelings and work through what I didn't know I needed to work through.
It was always in my subconscious and I had nightmares for 17 years (whenever I'm stressed) about being put back there. So, I'm glad I could exorcise it--discuss it with people who shared the experience and assimilate it better.
I've been MIA for over a year from this site, but its getting interesting again, and I'm doing my Master's on this, most likely.
Anyway, I recommend looking at some posts from the beginning... some are illuminative. (From a few years ago.)
Shanlea. (That's Helen to our friend, Blown.)
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Hi Shanela!! I've been wondering where you've been. :wave:
Superwoman, I know your name isn't maynard. It's a turn of phrase. Like "What's up, maynard?" "Sounds like a plan to me, maynard." Anyway, just wanted to clear that up. Didn't want you to think I was calling you out.
i think that my personality was the kind that benefited from being there because ofthe process i went thru inside myslef as a result of being taken out of the extremely self destructive environment that i was in. i think someone with a different personality, maybe like yours, someone who likes their life the way it was/is, whatever that may be, well then i dont think its for them.
So.. because you were self-destructive, you felt the program helped? A lot of teenagers are self-destructive. I know I had some self-destructive issues. (suicide attempts, can't get more self-destructive than that) and I don't embrace the program. How do you account for this? You talk about personality. What kind of personality, in your opinion, makes someone pro-program?
but for someone who wanted to change and just didnt know how, it was good.
We all changed because of CEDU. None of us can regain that. What is it about your change makes you feel that it was beneficial? I know you said you went to college. So did I. (B.F.A. with honors.) Yet I do not embrace the program. I know one thing, I certainly didn't get into college because of CEDU's crappy academics. I got into college IN SPITE of it. I got in because I was smart, and I have a suspicion you did, too. To what do we inappropriately credit CEDU with, and what do we avoid making connections about? (i.e. nightmares, sexual dysfunction, personality disorders, intimacy issues, easily startled, socialization issues, OCD, [I believe you mentioned that] etc.)
I'm not saying all of our problems are CEDU's fault. I'm saying that some levels of dysfunction can be attributed to it, and sometimes we don't realize that.
Another thing you said in your original post caught my eye.
It's the ONLY way that would have worked.
How do you know this? Are you clairvoyant? Dead, insane or in jail?
Maia Szalavitz wrote about a study on the "success" rates of programs, vs. no placement, and she found NO DIFFERENCE. (Boot camps vs. juvvie, and Synanon vs. no treatment.) The rates were similar for both. The only difference is, one group comes out with trauma and additional baggage.
You talk about overdosing 3 times, and getting into trouble when you got out. (I think that's what you meant, at least.) You justify it by saying that you knew you could have it different, and that CEDU taught you that. Yet you chose not to, which is entirely your right. You eventually pulled yourself together. Are you certain it's because of CEDU that you did this? If it was, then how come it didn't happen right away after you got out? How come you didn't "set the world on fire"? as it were. What made you descend into self-destructive behavior? What happened to your "contract"?
Anyway, I agree with blownaway. The fact that you ran away and got kicked out after the summit is interesting.
It seems, from my viewpoint at least, that there are two conflicting outlooks you have that are vying for compromise, even though they are diametrically opposed and are pretty much mutually exclusive to each other. It's almost like I hear two people talking.
I hear that a lot in here. I've done it myself.
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[
Another thing you said in your original post caught my eye.
It's the ONLY way that would have worked.
How do you know this? Are you clairvoyant? Dead, insane or in jail?
Anyway, I agree with blownaway. The fact that you ran away and got kicked out after the summit is interesting.
I hear that a lot in here. I've done it myself.
so, when i say it is the only way it wouldve worked i am talking about myself. and yes, i am quite intuitive when it comes to knowing myself...but for me, being pulled out of the environment i was in and given a chance to do some analyzing about me and what i was doing and where i was going helped. i couldve been put on any maountain at all. it just happened to have been in rnning springs......i hated it when i was there. but aftre i left, i tell you, it seemed that i learned a lot about myself. i didnt say i was pro program because it helped me. i dont think it was nice to call me a slut and hurt me in fornt of other people. BUT FOR ME, something about the harshness worked for me. however i would never do those things to another person, nor would i ever consent to my son being in that environment. no i am not dead or insane or in jail and that is not necessary Castle.
what is so different about me? i dont understand what is so two sided?
and what is so wierd about us splitting after the summit????? why do you guys think that? i knnow some poeple in the peer group above mine and they turned 18 after the summit and then left.
we were just done.
why is that wierd???
anyway........i just dont understand why its wierd...maybe it was more normal earlier (i get the feeling a lot of you guys are more newly there than i, in 1990).....
:) thanks for the conversation...
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BUT FOR ME, something about the harshness worked for me.
What do you think that something is?
As for the dead insane or in jail thing, sorry I didn't specify. That is a term programs use to convince parents to place their children. "Your kid is going to be dead, insane or in jail." Sometimes people who graduate say that "I would have been dead insane or in jail." I wasn't specifying that you were headed that way. I was echoing the mentality of thinking someone is going to be worse off without the program than with.
Maybe two sided was the wrong word, because it sounds schizophrenic, which is certainly not my impression of you. Based on what you have written, there seems to be a conflict of opinions. I guess that's all I was trying to say.
And yes, I do think it is interesting that you split after the summit. I think it is interesting when anyone splits after the summit, if they believed in the program at that time. (It's another thing entirely if they don't.) You're almost done, why not ride it out? It's only a few more months.
Anyway, you said you were from '90. I'm '87-'89. Hi.
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well hello 87-89! if i ever gave the impression that i loved being there or that i loved the program while i was there, i never meant to. its just that after been gone for 17 years i just never thought of it being so terrible. as i look back i think "oh yea, that helped me" and you ask what about it did? i dont know. i am sorry but i dont know. id have to really think about it. but like i said, i couldve been put on any mountain, it just happened to have been in running springs.
and i dont know that i believed in the program so to say while i was there, but what i do know is that i was thrumy summit, hella dirty, more was expected of me and i couldnt live up to it, and we were all popping off in our dorm and then we decided we needed a cigarette. so we left. 11pm. crawled thru the woods into town. got some scary freak to buy us some cigs and take us to his house. we were gone for 3 days. "they" the men in black, found us at the greyhound station.....brought us back. we were all locked in a different room for a da or two, then we were all shipped off. sent home. it had nothign to do with anything. and it wasnt even months until grad, it was WEEKS!
yea, go figure.... bratty kids.... need everything right when they need it. those damn cigarettes!!
:)
thanks 87-89!
i bet i know who you are bu the way. i was there in 89...for 10 months of that year.
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I was at RMA, so we never would have known each other.
I seem to be really lousy at wording things, because I didn't mean that I felt you embraced the program entirely. I felt that your opinions about the "pros" were... interesting.
The whole: "Hated the place, yet felt like I learned something. Don't know why other people aren't over it like I am." That thing.
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.I CAN CLIMB A FRICKEN MOUTAIN!!!! who wouldve thought?
Anybody who had ever met another human being. Just ask any Bolivian you may chance to meet.
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and i know this was a good place for Kim
WHO WAS MY BEST FRIEND, whom by the way is dead and I DONT APPRECIATE YOU USING HER FULL NAME ON THIS SITE
So then...what's the problem?
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Don't trust anyone or get close to anyone again in any real, meaningful way, because they will exploit you,
Is that so wrong? I mean, really... to trust someone one inch further than that would be to place them above you. And that's not trust, that's just plain old, garden variety intimidation. Only equals can treat.
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and by the way, a lot of the theorys there were based on actually psychological principals and exercises developed by great doctors thru time.
yeah, I sort of half believed that too when I had to. But it's been decades. You haven't been curious enough to chek? Still???
Butch up!
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Butch up!
What an excellent turn of phrase. That's going in my own personal lexicon for sure.
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I hope you are not someone whom i knew and loved at one point, because i dont like you very much. why cant you just let other people have their own opinions and views and feelings and experiences? why do we all have to think and feel and see like you for you to be nice to us?
i understand your bitterness and resentment, but seriously, arent you an adult?
cant you just state your opinion and view on here without having to put other people down and tell them they are wrong or stupid for having their own experience?
just curious
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When I first found fornits.com, I was not comfortable thinking that I had been in a Cult. I had been fine for ten years. No one here knew what they were talking about.
But I like to get my own answers.
All I know is my own experience. And truly I know what I went through, and the people around me went through. I am describing it, and I haven't exaggerated or been biased in the content of my project. I have a good idea of what they were TRYING to do in the "program", and maybe for some people it was a "succesful transformation" done BY methods time- tested to do the kind of mental manipulation that could MAKE/ coerce most people/you to do anything. (manchurian candidate)
That didn't occur for me.
I didn't get a lot of the positive messages. I got the opposite, that was what was the pervading atmosphere for me when I was in RMA. I learned how to hate myself. I learned to feel guilty and express my anger at the world inappropriately, and to take responsibilty for things that are NOT my problem. A lot of things.
And I have posted about many things at this forum. Read up. Take your time, and see the program and how the normal outlook of the world and politics and economics in relationship paradigms was changed by raps, propheets, and personal internal functioning and thinking during the program stay.
The awesome thing that I am realizing is that CEDU has wanted me to do this. The Summit gave me the knowledge that blownaway (the Idaho way) is why I finished and graduated. It was represented to me in the Values propheet and in Challenge Night, and the Summit. I do say what I want. Maybe I don't want what YOU want. What is the best solution? How can I help accomodate voices to be heard? Intelligent discourse about the issues of Therapeutic Boarding Schools and programs that bill themselves akwardly as Behavior Modification Schools is the only that will promote change. I DO believe that changes are needed, as do most thinking people.
Ergo: if change is needed in the "troubled teen" industry, AND Cedu Education is, in my mind, known for using numbing mind control techniques to employ a treatment that is unwanted by the subject to MAKE him want it- and I'm supposed to write what I think about it, then that, my friends, is what I'm going to do.
Have a great day.
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What would be the problem of using somones full name if they are dead.?...and Ive always wonered why people who suposedly have loved ones who DIE so young (not a typical thing) who go to cult-gulugs which they proclaim even if tormenting were no big deal dont make certain connections...
I think a certain thing about programies and cult-gulug mentality in general is that a certain EMPATHIC quality is damaged in them. This enables them to abuse others in program without feeling bad about it...and never feel" for the damage inflicted on themselves or others
(though you can tell they are damaged...look at the weird anger by someone whos in her 30s?...over something thats "no big deal"?)
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yes i'm back to visit you wussies. empathy ?
I get mad every time I think of that place. How could that kind of shit existed? What a creepy fucking joke. I ain't forgetting good times. There just wasn't enough to cover up the bad either.
fuck even the good counselors stoopid part of the matrix, make you believe by any means. and rights? please! there were none. any person disagree? you would be that asshole in a rap. I throw you around like a frisbee you say different. FUCK CEDU.
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Everybody's entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts.
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I'm with abouttosnap...sort of. I won't throw you around like a frisbee if your disagree with me, but that's about all we differ on. I love my friends from that place. I love the good times we had, of which there were many. but both of those combined just don't outweigh what that place did to my mind.
my parents always tried to counter my hatred for bca by telling me the same story. how the deal they struck with my original high school and the local police was that I would be sent to bca instead of being arrested for a variety of charges. for years I accepted that story, because hey, bca couldn't be worse than juvy, right?
wrong. I wish life had just taken its course. I wish I had been tossed in juvy and gotten this shit kicked out of me. would've been so much better than the alternative...
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Yup. I spent a few weeks in juvy in the course of getting legally free of Straight. I've never been so pissed off in my entire fucking life! If I had knownthen what I know now I would have beat the piss out of Miller Newton the one time he came within arms reach of me on my intake. Ah well, if wishes were fishes.
Anyway, I was going to search up some of my dear brother Thom's posts as an example, but I don't really have time now. My brother is one of them there lifelong practitioners. He went into the Seed when he was 14 and hasn't really checked back for messages. The man absolutely hates me. Used to spend considerable time tag teaming me along with his good buddy, "Ft. Lauderdale", who's a former Seed staffer. They hate me because I'm an apostate to their religion. The Seed line of programs were tied more closely w/ Stepcraft than CEDU, I think. So it's been pretty easy for bro to find reenforcements to cling to. So far, he's been through AA, NA and GA (gambling) Not sure what's up, but I heard it through the grape vine that he's just lately on bad terms with his latest coven. Can't wait to see what he finds to be openly anonymous about next.
But I think the hostility and sanctimony among ppl like that are owing mostly to the fact that they don't know they're brainwashed. A major part of the process has to do with the group identity supplanting the person's real identity. So when I criticize the program, he takes it very personally because he truly doesn't know anymore where the program ends and he begins.
I miss him sometimes. Then I reload. Kidding. I really do miss my big brother, but I know he's not ever coming back. He's damned near 50 now. it's been around 35 years, well over half his life.
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google: Soul Murder
http://shrinkwrapped.blogs.com/blog/200 ... rk_ha.html (http://shrinkwrapped.blogs.com/blog/2007/03/the_new_york_ha.html)
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Yup. I spent a few weeks in juvy in the course of getting legally free of Straight. I've never been so pissed off in my entire fucking life! If I had knownthen what I know now I would have beat the piss out of Miller Newton the one time he came within arms reach of me on my intake. Ah well, if wishes were fishes.
Anyway, I was going to search up some of my dear brother Thom's posts as an example, but I don't really have time now. My brother is one of them there lifelong practitioners. He went into the Seed when he was 14 and hasn't really checked back for messages. The man absolutely hates me. Used to spend considerable time tag teaming me along with his good buddy, "Ft. Lauderdale", who's a former Seed staffer. They hate me because I'm an apostate to their religion. The Seed line of programs were tied more closely w/ Stepcraft than CEDU, I think. So it's been pretty easy for bro to find reenforcements to cling to. So far, he's been through AA, NA and GA (gambling) Not sure what's up, but I heard it through the grape vine that he's just lately on bad terms with his latest coven. Can't wait to see what he finds to be openly anonymous about next.
But I think the hostility and sanctimony among ppl like that are owing mostly to the fact that they don't know they're brainwashed. A major part of the process has to do with the group identity supplanting the person's real identity. So when I criticize the program, he takes it very personally because he truly doesn't know anymore where the program ends and he begins.
I miss him sometimes. Then I reload. Kidding. I really do miss my big brother, but I know he's not ever coming back. He's damned near 50 now. it's been around 35 years, well over half his life.
thats so sad. Just remember if yu love him, and he didnt hurt you too badly. the important thing is that hes happy
He sounds like a victem more than you. The idea some poor man becasue he spent his childhood being abused now spends his life abusing himself- i mean GA AA ...Is he addicted to something. Does he just think hes addicted
the most obvious and horrible thing is, the teenage years are when you lestablish what you are. You play the piano, you spend time with freinds, you play sports -you become a musician a freind a teamate
So whats wrong with the morons that they dont understand forcing a teenager so spend their formitive living the reality they an addict, worthless, insane (if the kids dont completely rebel against their mentors and habbits) that is precisely in some form or another, what they will become
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Thanks, I appreciate that.
Why? Well, you want a serious answer? I think we're still fighting the Revolutionary war and still in the throes of the Enlightenment. I've been recommending a book lately called the Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto. In it, he gives a great deal of detailed history on the original thinking and purpose of what is now our public indoctrination system. It ain't at all what you think.
The troubled parent industry is the market's government subsidized answer to kids who just don't like what we have planned for them, even if they're acting entirely on gut w/o the ability or the true history to articulate why.