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Messages - jnloar

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God, that is too funny...I was such a brat that I had no appreciation for anything so I know I did not have a clue because I was so pissed and trying to act like I was fine.  Thanks for the info about dead people - luckily I only have to go from the airport to the place but I will look out for them anyway...

jennifer loar, hopefully that does not make you cringe too much....I do know that rage and bitch were the best words to describe me there and hope you were not one I raged on too much.  I sent you an email to your .cox address.  let me know if it did not go through

yes - I went in 6-87 and graduated right before you left on 129-88.  glad you found this forum.

I am heading to Florida for Monday's meeting Sunday.  Are any Dallas people headed there?  I am hoping to see some familiar faces for support if it is available.  Email me and maybe we can try to get together before hand.  [email protected] is my email and I will have internet access after I leave Dallas and arrive in Florida.  Thanks, Jennifer

[ This Message was edited by: jnloar on 2003-12-26 19:19 ]

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / IMPORTANT: CLASS ACTION SUIT
« on: December 06, 2003, 09:23:00 PM »
thank you - thank you - thank you.....

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am fairly new and have a few ?'s....
« on: December 05, 2003, 03:56:00 PM »
I do not understand your post.  I do not know anyone PRO-Straight and yes, even if I did, I would have posted the same thing and wanted answers.  I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion - I am sure there are people who are still brain-washed by that place and my heart goes out to them but I know that when I found out that there are still "treatment" centers that operate using the same or similiar techniques to Straight that I want do what I can to help shut them down.  If I knew PRO Straight people I would expect them to oppose me but I would also expect them to respect my right to have my point of view just as I would allow them to.  I have no desire to fight with or try to prove PRO-Straight people wrong.  They are just as entitled to stand up and tell their version as I am to tell mine.  I don't know that a PRO-Straight person and I would share many like views but as long as they respect my right as a survivor I respect their right to be of a different frame of mind.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am fairly new and have a few ?'s....
« on: December 01, 2003, 01:36:00 PM »
I just found this wonderful outlet a few weeks ago.  12-9 will be 14 years since my commencement from Straight, Dallas and I have been followed by nightmares, cold sweats, guilt, regret and plenty of sorrow for following onto staff - all the things I have read here the last few weeks. It has been a freeing and cleansing time for me to find out I am not crazy and did not dream that place up - to find validation that thousands of others feel and experience the things I still do.  I have read as much as I can to try to understand the different things happening here.  Is there a lawsuit pending against The Sembler's, DFFA or any of those other groups related to Straight?  If not, is such a thing even possible since Straight,Inc per say, is defunct?  I am not so interested in recovering funds as I am in exposing places that still subject kids to those methods....when I read that in some of the posts I just seethed - I had no idea and am curious as to what action, if any, I can participate in to help in the cause of getting them closed.  A few other questions - what is WASSP? (not sure about that spelling) PURE, who is Sue Scheff and Carey Bock and are they detrimental to people finding support here or what is the deal with them?  I know I have more ?'s but any answers to these would be great as I am still finding myself sometimes lost and trying to catch up and not being able to.  Basically I think a forum for support is an awesome healing tool for all of us survivors and legal action to get copycat programs is great too - I just cannot figure out where each of these fall in regards to this forum - maybe it is both (that is my hope) and I just have not been able to find the right posts to answer that question.  Thanks for any insight and my support and congratulations to all of us survivors.

[ This Message was edited by: jnloar on 2003-12-01 10:42 ]

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am an exsafe counselor
« on: November 26, 2003, 04:30:00 AM »
another thought on Ginger's post about "confessions" of a clients FOS/confessions...I, and a good 3/4 of the people I have reconnected with, are now free to say that our "FOS" lists were what were really FOS.  I know that on day 52 after endless confrontations about my 'druggie past' that I began piecing together bits of stories I heard in group so I would have a "past" to share about.  I know that is true for quite a few of people so I agree with Ginger about coerced confessions but also want to add that many of those confessions were absolute bullshit so the client could get the hell off first phase.   ***The First Stage of the Brainwashing Process***
they have started to give up their hope of ever being believed for their truth and begin to lie, exagerate, whatever it takes to just FREAKING SURVIVE!

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am an exsafe counselor
« on: November 25, 2003, 06:36:00 PM »
I will let go of the restraining disagreement since I was not there to witness what happened.  My doubts spring from the fact that SAFE is a Straight created program and I find it hard to believe it changed that quickly and even more hard to understand why they would have quit while you were there only to resume once you left.  I find a difference between a blatant lie and what people believe to be the truth.  It is scientically proven that humans will repress things that are painful to see and acknowledge.  I was saying I thought that could be a possibility but am happy to take your word that you do not fall into that category.  I do now have a problem with your idea that the model works when applied right???  do you really mean that?  The model is, essentially to strip a kid of every right, DIGNITY and sembelance of humanness, to surrender to the group mentality.  If a kid is non-compliant, they are ridiculed, forced to withstand extreme mental confrontations and at times, physical restraint and even abuse.  The model is taken from prison camps for god's sake.  It is a modern day form of mental and psychological torture and abuse.  Once the child has completely lost any sense of soul, dignity, respect and right and wrong, he is then welcomed by the group with open arms as they are the only ones who could ever possibly "redeem" him.  It is a sick, twisted way of making group, staff and yes, the execs god-like figures.  They progress on believing that they truly are worthless pieces of sh*t who are nothing without their 'gods' approval.  Then they are cut loose into the world and find out that everything they had been taught is screwed and then really flip out and probably start using the drugs they heard about in treatment.  Even though SAFE is a kinder version of Straight as far as spitting, unending standing, severe consequences, whatever, it is based on the same model and I find it repugnant that anyone can really defend its methodology.  My interpretation is not just from my years at Straight but from SAFE material that describes its treatment model and the testimony of the survivors stories I have read here.  It is worth reading some of the parents stories here who share the pain they feel for subjecting their kids to SAFE and the prices they have each paid due to the brainwashing they bought for a time. As I said in the start of this, I was not there so I cannot hold a true arguement about the restraint policies but I can about the treatment model as I got to experience it firsthand and can read the SAFE material to know it is the same one countless others in SAFE, Straight and many other programs have been subjected to.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am an exsafe counselor
« on: November 25, 2003, 03:10:00 PM »
now I am laughing...of course only staff least that is what the paperwork for the state said.  We easily justified using clients if there were multiple restaints as no-one could leave.  Our misbehaviors would plan joint runs and damn near every phasor and staff was active in a restraint.  Obviousily SAFE was such a welcoming, warm place that only a select few wanted out enough to run.  I took a stand for you ex, as I believe we each see our reality differently but your refusal to even acknowledge that maybe you are a little off is offensive.  If you worked there nine years ago I find your claims that much more unbelievable as that was just as they were transferring from the Straight name and I KNOW how those programs worked.  It would certainly be easier for those of us who suffered the brainwashing that is Straight/SAFE/PFC, etc...if you expressed some possibility that maybe you just are using some defense mechanisms we have all employed over the years.  It would be lovely if you had some staff members to back your perception as there are clients who so disagree with you about that time frame in SAFE.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am an exsafe counselor
« on: November 25, 2003, 04:34:00 AM »
I have found this discussion so interesting.  These are simply my ideas and thoughts as I have no proof.
1)this man was an exec and were any kind of charges or suits to ever stick I truly believe it would be the execs who would be held more accountable as they allowed the abuse to happen.  They were privy to all of it and have a need to cover their butts.  I was a Jr.II paraprofession and now see "staff" as an extension of the brainwashing.  I would and have spoken about what I saw and how much of it I know today was not only abusive but illegal.
2)most people employ the coping mechanism of denial when reality hits hard.  I have experienced waves of shame and sadness reading kids accounts of staff and I was a phasor for 18 months!  I cannot imagine what happens when you read this and don't have the ability to atleast know that you played along in a system that victimized you first and you were simply following what you were told would basically be the only thing that would keep you from dying and would accept you since you were such a flawed druggie piece of trash.  Defense of ourselves is such a natural reaction and boy would I ever want to defend myself if I could not claim to be a paraprofessional who feel to the bs of the model.  I think he is an intelligent man who is trying to convince himself that there really was no abuse during his time there.
Now something I do know as fact:
1)when a client made a claim of abuse, at least in Texas, they were allowed to file and there was always follow-up.  A case-worker would come, meet with exec satff and a paraprofessional and we would explain that this was just an unhappy kid, we did not restrain, isolate unless absolutely neccesary (bullshit!) and that we would welcome them to sit in on a rap, Om ,et al. The client would come in once we had brainwashed the case worker who had no objectivity by this point.  They would listen to the client, explain that they would sit in on a rap and really thought maybe the client was just unhappy that they were not getting their way.  it was made certain they came in for maybe rules rap, exercise or if they did come in for a rap it was always made to be light by staff INSTRUCTED by exec staff to do this.  Then the case worker would meet with the client again after rap and basically say you are lying and once they left the poor kid was mincemeat back in group.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Damn...It's twisted...
« on: November 25, 2003, 02:16:00 AM »
I can only speak for myself and one person I have stayed in touch with from our time at Straight, Dallas.  We both were on staff. I was a Jr II when I left and my friend a Jr I.  You will not hear a good word, thought or idea endorsed by either of us about Straight.  I commenced in 88 and was around until 90.  My friend commenced in 89 and left staff a few months later in 90.  I was 15 when I came in for eval - also a rape and incest victim at that time although today I am proud and speak to others as a survivor.  I had maybe 8-10 drinking stories and tried pot 1x.  I was a nutcase but not becuase of drugs - my friend was opposite - will claim that he was one who could have benefitted from a theraputic drug rehab as he had done just about everything but herion.  We both witnessed physical abuse but the main thing Straight did at every program, the true evil at Straight was the mental and pyschological abuse.  You were locked in and could either comply and admit you were a druggie/addict or be on first phase which was a humiliating phase with absolutely no respect for anything human.  I finally gave in at day 52 - can remember it exactly even today.  Started making my FOS list by taking the stories I had heard in group and piecing things together - I actually wrote them down as soon as I got to second phase and kept them stuffed in my MI spiral so I would not screw them up.  By about 4th phase I absolutely believed them and you could not have ever convinced me different.  12-9-2003 will be 14 years and after many,many years of therapy I still do not have a good thing to say about that place.  I have not talked to or met anyone who can say that they have nothing negative to say or did not see things that were not abusive and just plain wrong.  my biggest issue once I finally understood what had happened to me was the shame, guilt, fear, sadness and regret that I had inflicted this kind of soul stripping on many other kids.  I still struggle with that, even understanding the way that brainwashing works and that the only way to perpetuate a system is to only allow people who have been beat down to succumb to the beliefs to be the leaders.  still want to puke when I think about it.  So to anon, this is a former staff member who can tell you that I was not a misbehavior - obviously and even today, as a successful woman who has overcome many obstacles that by far the most difficult has been Straight.  I have said to some close to me that I would do the rape and molestion over before I would ever do Straight and that is one of the strongest statements I know to make someone understand just how horrific I found that place to be. It seems to me, 1985 that you must be in the, perhaps 1% who does not feel that they suffered long term negative effects from Straight - I don't know you - but my hope is that is true while my guess is that that is a coping mechanism to not remember what really went on in those blue chairs.  

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / ,
« on: November 21, 2003, 06:08:00 AM »
I was in Straight Dallas 5-87 through 12-88.  Anything else you need just let me know.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / ,
« on: November 19, 2003, 11:34:00 PM »
It made me so happy to read many of your posts and know you are such a survivor.  I actually sent you a few emails privately through this site.  Did you recieve them?  Let me know as I had a few answers to some of your questions and a few of my own as well.  So many congrats on your recent wedding - you are more than deserving.

Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / ,
« on: November 19, 2003, 04:44:00 AM »
I am not the original poster but I was in Dallas Straight for almost two years and would be interested in communicating with you - especially if you happen to know what happened to all the client files.

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