Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Facility Question and Answers => CALO - Change Academy at Lake of the Ozarks => Topic started by: seanc on October 02, 2009, 08:26:31 PM
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My name is Sean, I am one of the legal guardians of Thomas Victor Riley.
Tom ran away from CALO on 6/7/09 while on an offsite visit with his grandmother.
If you have any information on his whereabouts, please contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children - www.missingkids.com (http://www.missingkids.com) or 1-800-THE-LOST. Reference case number NCMC1131313, or contact the Camden Co. Sheriff's office at (573) 346-2243. Poster/picture is available on the above site.
Tom, if you are reading this, we love you, miss you and hope you are safe. Please contact us and let us know you are OK.
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Here is the direct link to Tom Riley's page: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/ ... Lang=en_US (http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PubCaseSearchServlet?act=viewChildDetail&caseNum=1131313&orgPrefix=NCMC&seqNum=1&caseLang=en_US&searchLang=en_US)
I see that he just celebrated a birthday. I am so sorry, Sean.
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To Eliscu2
What does Bump mean and who exactly are you? Do you know Tom?
Sean
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Bump means that they are trying to have the thread to remain in the top of the message board for as long as possible so others can see it.
We have updated our missing in action section (http://http://wiki.fornits.com/index.php?title=Victims#Missing_in_action) on the wiki so more can learn about his disappearance.
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My name is Sean, I am one of the legal guardians of Thomas Victor Riley.
Tom ran away from CALO on 6/7/09 while on an offsite visit with his grandmother.
If you have any information on his whereabouts, please contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children - http://www.missingkids.com (http://www.missingkids.com) or 1-800-THE-LOST. Reference case number NCMC1131313, or contact the Camden Co. Sheriff's office at (573) 346-2243. Poster/picture is available on the above site.
Tom, if you are reading this, we love you, miss you and hope you are safe. Please contact us and let us know you are OK.
Tom Riley, do not return to the "guardians" who imprisoned you at CALO. As you tell by their actions, they are morally deranged psychopaths and cannot be trusted. Once returned to their clutches, they may imprison you in a gulag worse than even CALO.
My recommendation is to contact a lawyer. Explain to him that you have ‘guardians’ so abusive, so lunatic, so monstrous that they PAID people to abduct and imprison you. Explain the conditions you were faced with at CALO. Emancipate yourself. Then sue, both your evil "guardians" and CALO.
You are entitled to compensation for your suffering.
Whatever you do, until you contact a lawyer and he gives you the go ahead, do not contact your "guardians."
Do not believe their claims you will not be re-imprisoned. Emily Graebor, a victim of abusive, evil guardians, like yours, escaped a prison similar to CALO and was promised she would be allowed to remain at liberty if she returned home, Her parents were liars and returned her to her gulag, where she was imprisoned for many more years. Bear that in mind. Also bear in mind, whether or not they love you, they do not have the right to subject you to imprisonment, abuse or torture, and it's unlikely that anyone who would do that to another person loves them in any meaningful sense of the word.
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Oscar,
OK I understand. Please correct your information though. Tom did not run while at his grandmothers address. Tom ran from CALO when his grandmother came to Lake Ozark for a visit. They were off campus though, but not at his grandmothers address.
Thank you,
Sean
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I'm a little hesitant to allow the guest post, but all considered I think its a fair warning to Tom, given the situation regarding other kids from CALO and their placements. Sean, are you aware of some of the circumstances that might have prompted Tom to flee? I've heard a couple of different things and for the sake of Tom's privacy I'm not going to speak of them in public without his permission.
To the Guest:
I'm sorry I didn't approve them earlier, someone sent me an offline telling me about your request to have them posted in instant messenger. I'll allow you a civil exchange here with seanc and anyone else, but remember.. civil means civil. Of course, this applies to everyone else as well.
kk? thanks.. I'm going back on my leave of absence.
ps. seanc, use the email address in my signature if you'd like to talk, and I have absolutely no idea where Tom is at, so I really can't help you with that one.
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And out of curiousity..
Did you place Tom in CALO or did the State make that decision?
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All I can confirm at this point is that we didn't have a say in the matter, somone else did.
I have a good guess at several resons why he ran, but only he knows for sure.
As far as "guest" I really don't care about his/her comments because I understand how many morons and idiots live in this world, and I stopped trying to figure out or negotiate with this kind of low life years ago. But what I do care about is if this person has contact with Tom or if Tom does follow this idiots advice and he or someone else gets hurt in the process, guest will have to answer for that.
As long as guest knows the rules, consequences and what they might be in for, I can tolerate the dissent.
My 1st priority here is to locate Tom and get him home safely.
By the way, I've seen many postings where people use "guest" or some other anonymous name. Do you have a way to track the ISP or email so if someone does actually post something that results in harm, they can be located?
Sean
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The only consequence is having a post deleted. We don't try to roll like CALO around here. Sorry to hear that you didn't have a choice in the matter. This matches up with some of the information I gathered earlier about the situation.
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Christ, he's still missing? Aww, man... I'm so sorry, Sean. I'm not sure if you remember me or not, but I was cool with Tom, back when I was still in CALO. I used to give him a lot of advice to get him through hard times. I remember that a lot of his guilts were upsetting you and his grandma. He also talked to me about wanting to run away before, and I talked him through it... but that was such a long time ago. I was told that he ran away... took a car or something... but I didn't know that he was still missing. I don't even know what to say... when I talked him out of running, I thought that he was done because he never brought it up again. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't have kept it from staff, but like I said... it was such a long time ago. You have my sympathies, sir, and I'll be sure to let you know if I hear anything from the inside, or from other kids that have left.
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...when I talked him out of running, I thought that he was done because he never brought it up again. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't have kept it from staff, but like I said... it was such a long time ago...
Are you saying that staff were already aware that he was a run-risk ... or not?
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Well, he'd been put on run watch a few times... but it didn't last too long. It was just a phase that he seemed occasionally to go through. He usually wasn't serious... just upset, and the staff knew that. They still took it seriously, but we always thought that it would pass...
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All I can confirm at this point is that we didn't have a say in the matter, somone else did.
I have a good guess at several resons why he ran, but only he knows for sure.
As far as "guest" I really don't care about his/her comments because I understand how many morons and idiots live in this world, and I stopped trying to figure out or negotiate with this kind of low life years ago. But what I do care about is if this person has contact with Tom or if Tom does follow this idiots advice and he or someone else gets hurt in the process, guest will have to answer for that.
As long as guest knows the rules, consequences and what they might be in for, I can tolerate the dissent.
Well. Advocating something illegal is not itself illegal*. That would prevent illegal things from becoming legal. It would maintain a tyranny of the majority. Guest's words are no more extreme than Murray Rothbard on the subject of a kid's right to run away (http://http://mises.org/rothbard/ethics/fourteen.asp), though I think his personal attacks are both unnecessary and hurt his credibility and that of his argument.
* (some exceptions, mostly having to do with imminence... starting a riot or saying "kill those people right there" rather than "that minority should be killed", which is permissable) <- not legal advice
My 1st priority here is to locate Tom and get him home safely.
I truly hope that means "home" and not another program. Give him a chance, like my parents did after they pulled me (despite the pleas from the program).
By the way, I've seen many postings where people use "guest" or some other anonymous name. Do you have a way to track the ISP or email so if someone does actually post something that results in harm, they can be located?
Ip addresses on this website are stored but are available by US court subpoena only. From there you'd have to go to the ISP and track it to a physical address.
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Student 17,
Yes, I do remember you. If I remember correctly, you were one of the voices of reason. Not afraid to speak your mind and didn't like B.S. lies and was one of the 1st people to call someone out. Correct? Also, If I remember correctly, you and I had some good discussions during one of Mike's group milieu.
Thank you for your sympathy. I truly appreciate it. Yes, Tom is still missing, we lost track of him in Kansas City, MO and are very concerned for his safety. Tom has made some bad choices in the last couple of years and we are afraid of what may happen next. We've already gone through to much death and tragedy to go to another funeral. I sincerely hope that he doesn't choose that path anymore. You probably know what I mean.
Psy, thanks for the info, understand free speech and I am a strong supporter of our rights, however you just can't yell fire in a crowded theatre. My concern is that Tom will follow some very bad advice and I'm not sure if I can take another death in the family, especially another one so young. My ultimate goal for Tom is emancipation (more like responsible independence) as well, just not in the way some jerks are calling for it. Some parents aren't monsters like kids or CALO make them out to be. Tom has no real need to fight against me or fight against doing what is right, this is learned behavior.
Ursus the answer to your question is yes, but that's all I'm going to go into here about that topic for now.
Unfortunately, we aren't the ones deciding what will happen next. Tom, at some point will have to face the truth of what was done and make amends. There is always room for forgiveness and there is always room to make things right again. He is only hurting himself more by continuing to run and hiding from the mistakes. He still has chances and opportunities to become an honorable young man and there are people that will help him. People that have always been there to help him. He needs to seek that help out rather than fight against it.
Tom is under the impression that all this will somehow magically go away when he turns 18. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I can only guarantee I will fight to protect him and help him become an honorable young man if that is what he wants. If not, I have no control over what someone else will make him do, or not do. At 18, 17 in my state, a judge won't care about anything that happened prior, they won't care about teenage angst, or a world that someone has created for themselves, or any other excuse for that matter. Harsh lesson for the unprepared. I accept that some people need to learn on their own, but it's ashame that they have to endure that kind of pain and loss when the solution is so damn easy.
Any help to locate Tom would be greatly appreciated.
Sean
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Nothing like a hate on by the .gov people to put a crimp in your style. He must have pissed some folks off before CALO. Hopefully he can get it worked out in due time without being slung back into a place like CALO.
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Che,
Yes, we are hoping he chooses the right path because if he continues down this one, things will only get worse for him. Things are not so bad right now that they can't be fixed. But he needs to WANT to fix them. That is unless he continues to make these mistakes. People right now are still willing to forgive and I can virtually guarantee some flexibility with the people in charge. They won't be so willing, soon, if they are continuously spat in the face.
We are hoping he comes to his senses before it is to late. It may seem cool for the youth to fight authority, as evidenced by some of these posts, but we all know they are to young and haven't learned the right balance between liberty and order yet. But they will all to soon. If they push to far and piss off the wrong people in charge, you know what happens next, the 800lb gorilla comes down and smashes you flatter than hammered shit.
We can help repair this, but we need Toms help as well.
Sean
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Just curious but what does he need to make amends for and what does he need to be forgiven for? Is it for running away or is it more personal?
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Probably something to do with the being sent to CALO by the state. Running from CALO would be seen the same as running from a juvie. One thing to consider for you Sean, is perhaps this isn't about being hip or cool for Tom. Perhaps he is scared shitless of returning to CALO or somewhere worst. Being thrown into a place like CALO under the conditions he endured due to the dynamics of his particular situation couldn't have been easy. Dump on the other business about being called out in public in front of the entire campus by a high level staffer makes it even worst.
Was he ever restrained? Because I've just gotten a news flash from a recent alum of CALO telling me about a restraint, or more so multiple restraint, of a student or students over refusing to wear a sweater under their jacket whilst on Green Shirt restriction. What kind of idiot jacks someone up over a sweater is beyond me but the story appears to be highly legit.
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I know he was restrained, CALO told us on numerous occasions that he was. I don't know if he was ever jacked up. When I hear that, I think about someone being punched out. I don't have any knowledge of that. If I did, there would be hell to pay.
I have considered he my be afraid, but I don't believe this is the real reason he ran. I could be wrong but I don't think I am.
As far as being forgiven, it has nothing to do with the act of running away, it's much more personal than that and the forgiveness isn't by me or for me. Let's leave it at that.
What he should be afraid of though is the fact that he is digging himself a deeper hole and continuing to make the choices that landed himself at CALO in the first place. Remember, HIS choices, not mine. Eventually he will be caught, and if he doesn't decide to make things right, the punishment/consequences will only get worse.
I understand many of you don't like the word punishment or consequences and consider them "program" words. However, they exist in the REAL world. This is something CALO has a hard time understanding and doesn't want to teach. Nothing like creating your own pretend litle world.
You know the courts don't care about that, they hand out punishment and consequences every minute of the day and don't care about what the kids, parents or the psychologists say about taking punishiment out of relationships. Courts want compliance, period. When you are in the system, you are playing in their world, not yours.
Like I said before, we can help Tom through this, we do have some small pull in this, but if people are continued to be slapped in the face, that pull will evaporate.
Sean
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You do realize that a restraint a calo involves pain compliance right? A bent wrist hold can't be fun for anyone. Why wouldn't he be scared shitless of the place?
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Che,
I'm aware of the wrist locks. No, I don't think it is fun for anyone who has been placed in such a hold. I'm fully aware of what is involved. I trained in martial arts for over 20 years and have been put into these holds literally thousands of times. I've trained military, IRS armed field agents, Chicago Police, firemen, security, lots of professionals. I'm fully aware of the pain that can be inflicted, especially from novices that have not been properly trained or execute it poorly. I don't condone it, I don't like it and yet I have mixed feelings about it in certain circumstances.
I understand that some individuals need to be restrained if they become violent. I also understand that some staff members at CALO enjoy the power trip as well as inflicting pain on kids. Do some kids need to be restrained, absolutely. Do most kids at CALO need or deserve to be restrained, no, I don't think so. I think most of these kids can be talked down. However, many kids at CALO truly believe they are tough guys and come off that way to staff. But it's just all an act. Most of them are not real offenders and are just frightened, overindulged or confused kids that don't want to play by the grownups' rules.
From what I've seen at CALO, certain staff, not all, look for any reason to employ the joint locks. I've even seen staff rough-housing with the kids and the kids thought they were just playing around, when the kids touched (not hit mind you) the staff, the staff got pissed and immediately took the kid down. Remember, many of the staff are just kids themselves, not much older than the children. You and I went to school with these types every day. CALO has an incredible double standard when it comes to this type of behavior. You and I both know if I did this to an adult, I'd go to jail for it. However, the rules are different for minors.
While I've seen the double standard, I have not witnessed staff purposely and maliciously inflict pain for no reason. But then again, who would in front of the parents. I think this would be a very dangerous practice for the staff. With that said, are you implying or telling me that pain is inflicted just for the sake of inflicting pain at CALO? Also, do you know if the practice of restraining minors in a setting such as CALO is illegal in Missouri? Moral issues aside, I don't know if there is really any legal thing that can be done about the restraints, unless you know something I don't. If you are aware of some law or if someone is willing to come forward and testify that CALO routinely and for no reason inflicts pain on the children as part of their program, I would like to speak with them. I am also of the opinion that there are much, much bigger issues at CALO other than the wrist locks. While I do not like this practice, I just don't know what can be done about it. But I am willing to listen and take action if you have a solution.
Being realistic, pain happens to people every day. Part of life involves learning how to manage a certain degree of pain. This is how small children learn not to touch hot stoves. I've never met an individual that hasn't had to deal with some type of pain in their life. I just don't think it is reasonably possible to insulate someone from the pain that life throws us, for their entire life. Somewhere, Somehow, Someone thought pain was a useful part of life, a necessary evil, kind of like the mosquito. Again, I don't like it, would rather not have it in my life, and believe me I've had more than my share, but I don't know what you or I could ever do about it. Sometimes there is good that comes from pain, if nothing else, something can be learned from it. But then again, we are back to the 800lb gorilla argument.
Do I think Tom was scared shitless of CALO? I don't know. Fear is an incredibly personal thing, some things I consider routine, scare the crap out of some and vice versa. All I can say is that CALO reminded me of summer camp with a little extra trimmings. From what I've seen and experienced, I believe hockey camp is a much tougher program, alot more pain, infinately cheaper and actually acheives its goals.
My issue with CALO goes way beyond the wrist locks.
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The death (victim) list was too long for some browsers to open it, so I moved all the missing cases to a separate page called:
Missing and wanted (http://http://wiki.fornits.com/index.php?title=Missing_and_wanted)
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Never found him, did you, fucker? He's got to be 18 by now.
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Tom was a good friend of mine, I knew him before i went to calo, he has a good head on his sholders, i trust that he has been well looked after while living on the run. We went to two programs together and knew each other two years before attending the first treatment center. If anyone has information on how i can get back in contact with him please give me the information i would greatly appriciate it. Also if anyone wants me to answer any questions about calo directly since i have attended i would be more than willing... in the best of phrases my life there was a hell hole... but if anyone wants me to eleborate ask and i will.
Jen Michael
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Thomas V. Riley died on 12-25-10. He was 18 years old. He died of an O.D.
We received a call from the local hospital approx. 6am Christmas morning. Great thing to wake up to.
To those that say that "dead or in jail" isn't an option...learn from Tom he is and was both. It is and it's real. You are all just to stupid to know it.
Ken Huey took Tom's trust money and refused to give back the funds he took for the month of June 2010, the month he allowed Tom an off-site visit against recommendations from his legal guardians and the same time-frame Tom ran away...he wouldn't even return the funds he didn't earn to help bury Tom.
To those that said they had known his mind and that he had a good head on his shoulders...where are you idiots now??? I guess you didn't know a fucking thing aftert all.
His uncle.
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Thomas V. Riley died on 12-25-10. He was 18 years old. He died of an O.D.
We received a call from the local hospital approx. 6am Christmas morning. Great thing to wake up to.
To those that say that "dead or in jail" isn't an option...learn from Tom he is and was both. It is and it's real. You are all just to stupid to know it.
Ken Huey took Tom's trust money and refused to give back the funds he took for the month of June 2010, the month he allowed Tom an off-site visit against recommendations from his legal guardians and the same time-frame Tom ran away...he wouldn't even return the funds he didn't earn to help bury Tom.
To those that said they had known his mind and that he had a good head on his shoulders...where are you idiots now??? I guess you didn't know a fucking thing aftert all.
His uncle.
I am SO sorry to hear about this, Sean! I am so sorry that your family is going through all this pain.
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Here's the closest to an obituary that I could find:
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Thomas V. Riley (http://http://www.tributes.com/show/Thomas-V.-Riley-90547859#condolences)
BORN: September 30, 1992
DIED: December 25, 2010
RESIDENCE: Wonder Lake, IL
[/list]
Thomas was born on September 30, 1992 and passed away on Saturday, December 25, 2010.
Thomas was a resident of Wonder Lake, Illinois.
Tributes received this obituary from the US Government's Social Security Death Index. No further public information is available. For more on this data source, please read our Frequently Asked Questions.
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Ken Huey took Tom's trust money and refused to give back the funds he took for the month of June 2010, the month he allowed Tom an off-site visit against recommendations from his legal guardians and the same time-frame Tom ran away...he wouldn't even return the funds he didn't earn to help bury Tom.
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What a classy guy this Ken Huey is.
Not quite sure what to say about Tom's death. It sort of feels like saying sorry for your loss trivializes it by shooting out a cliche. It's the only thing I have though. Sorry for you loss and I wish I had more I could say.
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I was in a few programs with Tom, Calo and Midwest Academy, I have been looking for information about what happened to him for a year. He ran away a few months before i did from calo, Thank You to whoever posted is obiturary, I was kept in the dark about what happened to him. He and i were close and i was looking through the cite to see if there were any updates on my parents lawsuit with Ken. Thank you again i would have not known at all if it was not for your post. I have no words to describe how much i am thankful for this cite knowing all of the information that it does and the dedication that the people who run it have. If anyone knows exactally how he passed i would like to know. Thank you.
Jennifer Michael
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I was in a few programs with Tom, Calo and Midwest Academy, I have been looking for information about what happened to him for a year. He ran away a few months before i did from calo, Thank You to whoever posted is obiturary, I was kept in the dark about what happened to him. He and i were close and i was looking through the cite to see if there were any updates on my parents lawsuit with Ken. Thank you again i would have not known at all if it was not for your post. I have no words to describe how much i am thankful for this cite knowing all of the information that it does and the dedication that the people who run it have. If anyone knows exactally how he passed i would like to know. Thank you.
Jennifer Michael
I am so sorry you lost your friend, Jennifer! I am so very sorry that you had to find out in such a seemingly removed venue!
From what I gather, Tom died from an overdose on Christmas day. You could try sending seanc (his uncle) a PM for more details, although I'm not sure how often he logs in...