Fornits

General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: Froderik on January 23, 2011, 11:38:16 PM

Title: Introduction
Post by: Froderik on January 23, 2011, 11:38:16 PM
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: none-ya on January 23, 2011, 11:56:24 PM
Quote from: "Froderik"
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.


Sounds like your typical midwestern upbringing to me.
Title: fucking spam motherfuckers
Post by: Froderik on January 24, 2011, 10:05:29 AM
I can't complain..
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: seamus on January 24, 2011, 11:44:49 PM
The original post is so .........bizzare.....and so random that im just .....dumbfounded......and amazed :eek:
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Froderik on January 25, 2011, 10:27:17 AM
I don't know, i think I had a relatively normal childhood.

 :spam:  :rasta:  :beat:  :jerry:  O0
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: none-ya on January 25, 2011, 06:47:25 PM
Fourth time reading it and still LAUGHING OUT FUCKING LOUD!!!
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Anonymous on February 27, 2011, 01:29:43 AM
Quote from: "none-ya"
Fourth time reading it and still LAUGHING OUT FUCKING LOUD!!!

none-ya it's past your bed time moron.  STFU
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Botched Programming on March 24, 2011, 09:15:56 AM
Quote from: "Froderik"
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

You go Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.... LMAO :seg:
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: D. Bryan Odd on May 08, 2011, 06:27:31 PM
I am not Brian Dodd.
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Anonymous on May 17, 2011, 11:23:24 PM
.
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Botched Programming on May 29, 2011, 12:19:49 AM
:bump:  Just for another laugh!!!!  :seg: