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Messages - 85 Day Jerk

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526
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Yelling anybody
« on: September 18, 2002, 04:07:00 AM »
Everyone remember Darren McGavin from "A Christmas Story?"  the way he would let off a stream of obsenities at the neighbors hound dogs?  I am like that with traffic.  Since I mostly drive alone it has become a real bag habit.  I was taking care of three children for a friend of mine and driving them to a park when someone in a large SUV
pissed me off and even with the kids in the car and me on my highest alert against cussing, I ripped off and yelled out "You dickless piece of shit, pussyass yuppie cock-
smoking degenerate, drive like a woman shit for brains idiot motherscratching HOMO!!!"
Lucky for me I guess that I fired these off so fast that the kids did'nt have time to learn any of them.  Their mouths hung open in awe at least!  I really really try not to ever yell, but when I do it is really kind of funny actually.  The stuff that comes out of my mouth when I get riled up is rapid fire venom that is exteremely hard hitting and devastating to whom ever it was that pissed me off.  I have absolutely no control over it.  I guess it is a good thing that I never went on staff, or I would have certainly fried a few brains and defineately expanded the vocabularies of many a Straight-ling!

527
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Yelling anybody
« on: September 18, 2002, 04:07:00 AM »
Everyone remember Darren McGavin from "A Christmas Story?"  the way he would let off a stream of obsenities at the neighbors hound dogs?  I am like that with traffic.  Since I mostly drive alone it has become a real bag habit.  I was taking care of three children for a friend of mine and driving them to a park when someone in a large SUV

pissed me off and even with the kids in the car and me on my highest alert against cussing, I ripped off and yelled out "You dickless piece of shit, pussyass yuppie cock-

smoking degenerate, drive like a woman shit for brains idiot motherscratching HOMO!!!"

Lucky for me I guess that I fired these off so fast that the kids did'nt have time to learn any of them.  Their mouths hung open in awe at least!  I really really try not to ever yell, but when I do it is really kind of funny actually.  The stuff that comes out of my mouth when I get riled up is rapid fire venom that is exteremely hard hitting and devastating to whom ever it was that pissed me off.  I have absolutely no control over it.  I guess it is a good thing that I never went on staff, or I would have certainly fried a few brains and defineately expanded the vocabularies of many a Straight-ling!

_________________
In the line of fire, you know what to say
They gave us no choices, just one shade of grey
Back at that hellhole, behind Tyrone Mall
We walked in darkness, kept hitting the walls
I took the time to feel for the door
I had been treated, but what the hell for?

[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2002-09-18 01:08 ]

528
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Open Meeting Hijinks
« on: September 13, 2002, 11:55:00 PM »
This guy's name popped in my head so I have to write before I forget.  His name was Mike

Williams.  He looked like a teenage nerd version of John Larroquette with glasses. He was funny enough just by himself, but when you added his mom at open meetings, she was a damn trip.  First time they hand her the mic, she goes and tries to have a conversation with her son like she's on Phil Donohue or something and she actually wagged her hand at Mrs. Petermann to shush her when they tried to explain the rules.  She would dress up like she lived on a Southern Plantation or something and even wear floppy hats and stuff.  Most of us thought she was crazy, but apparently she was loaded so what the hell, right staff?  One night the local punks in the area got ahold of one of them good stump blaster fireworks and threw it through the Anvil street side roll up doors.

It went off as loud as a shotgun blast and scared the shit out of everybody and caused some badly needed mayhem.  Mike Williams mom took off screaming through the parking lot "Let me live," "Let me live!!!!,"  jumps in her car, starts it, floors it, lays a bitching good corn field across the entire

front lawn of the Morgan Yacht building and half the front to Massey Tool & Mold next door and did'nt slow down until some other parents caught up with her at the light down by Burger King.  When they brought her back to the meeting, she looked like she had just stepped out of an Irwin Allen movie or something.  It was funny as hell!  I about bit a hole in my cheek to keep from laughing!

_________________
In the line of fire, you know what to say
They gave us no choices, just one shade of grey
Back at that hellhole, behind Tyrone Mall
We walked in darkness, kept hitting the walls
I took the time to feel for the door
I had been treated, but what the hell for?

[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2002-09-13 20:56 ]

529
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Sig Test II
« on: September 10, 2002, 06:34:00 AM »
[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2002-09-13 09:24 ]

530
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Signature Test
« on: September 10, 2002, 05:59:00 AM »
Wow, I just remembered something.  We had a home made PA system for open meetings and the local rock radio station sometimes bled into the amplifier signal.  One Monday night open meeting we got to listen to all of Jimmy Buffet's 'Margueritaville' and half of Ted Nugent's 'Stranglehold' before they shut the thing down and Mrs. Pete ran out with a megaphone that was donated by a Parent who was a football coach.

_________________
In the line of fire, you know what to say
They gave us no choices, just one shade of grey
Back at that hellhole, behind Tyrone Mall
We walked in darkness, kept hitting the walls
I took the time to feel for the door
I had been treated, but what the hell for?

[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2002-09-10 03:22 ]

531
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Tampa Screw-Up / Storm Damage
« on: September 10, 2002, 03:11:00 AM »
There were a lot of changes that went on once
everything had come out in the open.  A lot of atrocities went on in the foster homes of the outer fringes.  Younger sibling sisters were a part of the drug use in some of these homes and sex was involved in some with girls as young as 11 years old.  These were the people who 'vanished' from the program.
I doubt that charges were ever filed, but the girls involved were most likely damaged psychologically for years to come.  Executive Staff tried hanging on the the ones who were more or less 'Animal House' material out of simple greed and fear of losing any more of them almighty Tampa dollars, but in the end less than a dozen out of nearly 40 kids remained in the program
and I gotta give them a lot of credit for that for they were truly hated by most.  It was hard enough to trust and believe in any of the horseshit that went on in there on a day to day basis, but when people that you were supposed to trust love and look up to are doing the very things that put your ass on front row........jesus!  I dealt with it by withdrawing into myself as fast as I could
like a submarine doing a fast dive.  No one trusted anybody anymore.  We went probably 2 solid months without a "Love Rap" and there was no longer any of that bullshit grand-standing that used to go on all the time where you could only get a few sentences out while relating before some asshole gets called on and starts laying into you about nothing just to look good.  The program had finally gotten to the point where it was for real, at least in group during the day.  The older phasers for the first time were scared shitless of coming back into group after school everyday.  Even though I was no longer being a Jerk, if one of the phasers pissed me off in a rap trying to grand stand or something, I would wait a couple of days, tell a fifth phaser that someone smells like pot after they sat down behind me, when they came in from school, and watch with glee as their permission for that weekend was denied!
I would be lit up like a Christmas tree when I could pull off shit like that, because staff really took stuff like that seriously
after all the shit that went down!  Night time and open meetings were a whole nother story though.  This was a period when Executive Staff was really up shit creek and without a clue.  Scotty and Jean Cassidy withdrew their severely needed support out of burn-out and disgust, leaving the Parent Group part of the program as helpless as a teething baby chewing on razor blades after a good rubbing of NUMZIT.  Open Meetings would drone on and on with absolutely no direction and for once, I seriously began considering splitting the damn program.  I think that this is around the time that Dr, George Ross joined the program and things started to get a little better.  By the grace of God we had Halloween coming and it helped take everyones mind off the crap.  I think I can remember that we actually had Halloween type decorations and it continued in the Morgan Yacht building through all the holdiays.  Once the lessons were learned we all went through a period where the program really started helping people, or maybe I had finally became brainwashed.  I can't decide which.  All I know is that I was home and every single one of my newcomers made it through the program.  They were treated the way that I should have been treated, their MI's were not a bunch of mindless ramblings written down just so they could go to sleep and when they were in group they did not sit and rot on first phase like I did.  As I progressed more and more through my program, and became more and more a part of the group, I slowly became aware that I was no longer a part of my own family.  But that is another story with it's own nightmares.   The End of the saga of the Tampa Screw-Up...... Coming soon -  School Daze

532
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Tampa Screw-Up / Storm Arrival
« on: September 08, 2002, 03:53:00 AM »
By now it was late August in the Milton Roy Building.  Following my voicing of my opinion in an afternoon rap and catching a load of shit for it, I spent my last night in that building secluded in the small room that had been used for intake strip searchs. (for the record, we only had to strip down to underwear back then, while our clothes and shoes were thoroughly searched)  All that weekend, I must have been stood up by 25 girls at least who begged me to change my mind and stop being so disruptive and hateful towards the Tampa people.  I refused and was taken out of group for "bringing everyone down" and as a last ditch effort, they brought my first and second oldcomers to relieve the guy watching me.  Big mistake!
My second oldcomer was one of the first to be put on a refresher.  His "buddies" ratted on him anonymously that he had sex with a girl he worked with at Busch Gardens and he let me know this when the other guy went to get a drink of water.  We had a long talk and he let me know that he really respected me for standing up for my beliefs, but that it was a no-win situation and I should just forget it and play along and he would do everything he could to help me out once we
were in the new building.
     The storm of it all hit full force the first week we were in the 'new' Morgan Yacht Building thanks in part to Senior Staffer Liz Cassidy.  It happened on a Tuesday I believe, about an hour or two after lunch.  For some reason, she went with her gut, stood up the main ring leader named Logan, and proceeded to badger the hell out of him.
After screaming "What did you do Logan?" repeatedly about 5 times, he finally hollered back "Miller in the bottle!"  "Ya fuckin' happy now?"  "Reefer too, and there were girls........"  Then he was cut short as one of his buddys surged across a couple of rows and nailed the side of his face before anyone could stop him.  Logan was taken out of group laughing defiantly and it was pandemonium for several minutes.  Staff members flew out the hallway door like their hair was on fire and their ass was catching into the group trying frantically to restore order.  The 3rd and 4th phasers from all over were just starting to file in from school.  Back then you had to have your butt in the building by 5 o'clock.  Since they came in from the outside, they had no idea what was going on, but with all the guys that had been taken out of group and into intake rooms, they caught on real fast.  The sense of betrayal and the loss of the dream blew quite a few young minds that day.  The girls were the worst.  They would stand up with tears flowing and just scream like goddamn air-raid sirens loud enough to strip the paint from the walls.  Over the next few days fights broke out in group and chairs flew and I remember one of my first 'responsabilities' I ever did was to help break chairs and load them in a truck because they were no longer going to use rental chairs.  Instead, we got these tired ass wooden benches that were connected 5 to a bench and let me tell you they sucked big-time.  They would become useless piles of splinters from the constant abuse of 'motivating' and these splinters provided
the 'psychos' a valuable tool for self mutilation.  This was wear body carving got it's start as far as I know.  I'll wrap up this episode by saying that shortly after came a period of mass disappearances and mass pulloffs.  I was on first phase about to reach second when all this went down.  As a first phaser we were not given much information, and I knew what I did from being a jerk for 85 days.  I simply observed,
I mean, what the hell else was there to do?
The next installment will pretty much wrap it up, and I want to thank Chris Tyler, Mike Sherman, and Marnie Sykes for their helping me to remember parts of this I would have overlooked by myself.  End of Part Five

533
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Tampa Screw-Up / Moving to Shelter
« on: September 03, 2002, 06:04:00 AM »
Following all the refreshers and people set back a phase or two, the group went from a day-time total of around 80 kids to well over 150.  The competition proved to be too much for me to handle, so once again, I turned on the juice and became a JERK, only this time with a lot more anger and determination.  These were the final days of life in the Milton Roy Building.  There was a lot of yelling, a few good fights broke out, one intake actually tried splitting the building and wound up running straight into the group during medication rounds.  That was pretty wild, getting tackled and restrained before you are even in the damn program, but it happened.  During this time there were several other clients like myself, who highly resented the intrusion of all these goddamn Tampa people who had screwed up.  It had said in the paperwork that we signed on our intake, that if we used drugs or had sex with another client, that we were to become terminated from the program and that our parents were entitled to no refund........period.  Me and other newcomers would discuss this at the drop-off's houses in the mornings.  Drop-offs were one of the few places where newcomers could communicate freely with one another. There was a growing anomosity towards all these Tampa Screw-Ups.  The way we looked at it, they all should have had their asses kicked out of the program for good, they conned there way through once, and would do it again, and were all just wasting our time and holding us up from moving through our programs.  One Saturday morning several of us made a pact to disrupt the Tampa clients as much as possible.  We went into the building with a purpose in mind, and proceeded to cause as much disruption as possible.  Our first tactic was to loudly clear our throats or cough whenever a Tampa person was called on, so that no one could hear them relate.  This went on all damn day, until finally Liz stopped her rap and stood a bunch of us up and asked point blank what the hell we were up to.  The truth came out and all hell broke loose.  Fists flew, and several guys got punched around by pissed off "in-towners" and for a brief moment justice was served.  A new mood settled over the group. It was now clear that those of us on lower phases were more than willing to kick someones ass, if they interfered in any way with our progress through the program.  Unlike the rich, spoiled Tampa brats, we were there to get Straight, because most of us were court ordered and had no goddamn choice in the matter.  We were through having these pussy ass private school homogenized human poodles try to call the shots any more just because they had parents with fat wallets.  The look of fear in the eyes of these once priveleged

fallen angels was priceless.  After about 3 more days of scuffles, splits, and outbursts a new routine fell into place as we all got ready for the big move to the Morgan Yacht Building where even more surprises were in store.                  - end part four

[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2002-09-03 03:10 ]

534
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Tampa Screw-Up / Dark Skies
« on: August 22, 2002, 04:58:00 AM »
The first rumblings of trouble to come fell on a Sunday.  For some reason, all these people from Tampa started being confronted.  The whole day turned into one big come-down rap.  When court rap got cancelled, I knew we were in for some bad shit.  One girl was accused of leaving her newcomers alone with her father in their nightclothes so she could do homework, when she really watched t.v. or something. (he was later accused of having fondling one of the newcomer girls and these parents ended up getting divorced) The accusations and confrontations spread like wildfire throughout the group.  Suddenly, being from Hillsbourough County was not a good thing for your program.  Things got to the point where people were ready to trade blows.  Executive Staff came out after dinner and started handing out refreshers like a cop handing out speeding tickets at the Daytona 500.  It was crazy.  These priveleged assholes who had gotten rid of their newcomers and used the freedom to goof off were now newcomers themselves.  In all I think at least 7 girls were put on refreshers and about 11 guys.  Boom just like that.  The same scumbags that would dig their fingers under my collarbones to get me to sit up and pay attention were now acting like Jerks themselves, only their heart was'nt in it.  I even stood a couple up and came down on them for being half-assed spoiled little brats and giving dedicated and true Jerks a bad name.  I was admonished by Mrs. Pete for telling them they should split the program and quit wasting our time.
All the negative energy was making me sick.
Just as a hurricane has an eye, where everything is calm and you are fooled into believing the worst is over, much was the same with us that long hot ass summer.  The calm washed over the group, and we had our gong show, never realizing that things were about to get much, much worse.........end part three.

535
The last week I stayed at my Tampa oldcomers house was kind of strange.  He had a lot on his mind and would tell me a lot of personal things about his job and pressures on the long ride home every night.  One thing that was unique was that it was just me and him in the car.  Most in-town foster homes had a parent driving to and from the program.  It took permission from executive staff to be able to drive a car while on the program.  My oldcomer wanted me to know how bad the gas crisis was, so he would open the curtains to the living room window where I ate supper at a desk with my back to the TV knowing full well that I could see the reflection of the newscast.  He drove me in for the last time on a Tuesday morning and explained the gas situation. I was the last newcomer he ever had.  A few weeks later, on a Saturday, a bunch of 3rd and 4th phase guys from Tampa filed into group almost 2 hours late.  Their excuse was that there had been a bad wreck on Howard Franklin Bridge.  Liz Cassidy was leading the rap and had them all find a seat in group and the rap continued.  The guys seemed abnormally happy and were cutting up and acting out of sorts.

What really raised my suspicions was when my former oldcomer chose to sit down in my row, up near the front of the group, which was unheard of for a 4th phaser to do unless he was there to babysit a JERK or something.  I whispered to Mike and asked him why he was'nt sitting with the rest of the guys.  He whispered I'dd find out soon enough.  Then he blew my mind by saying don't ever think anyone is your friend in here, don't trust anybody.  I really did'nt understand what he was telling me, but it did'nt matter

because the storm was coming................end part two.

[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2002-08-22 01:34 ]

536
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Can I ask a question?
« on: August 18, 2002, 01:41:00 AM »
I remember a vivid film I saw in school dealing with death.  It was a French film, with very little talking.  A family went out for a picnic in the country and brought grandma along.  They even brought a large rocking chair tied to the back of the car for her to sit in.  After the picnic, they packed up everything except grandma and the chair.  They just got in the car and drove off.  As the camera panned away from the one tree, you could see dozens, and then hundreds of old people sitting in chairs under trees.  Whenever I hear my dad say "Put it in the past."  I think of this film and how he let me down at a time in my life when I needed compassion, not communism.

537
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / The Tampa Screw-Up
« on: August 14, 2002, 10:07:00 PM »
One of the darker periods of my program was the wonderful weeks that followed the Tampa Screwup.  During the summer months of 1978, the price of gasoline skyrocketed.  The folks living in Hillsborough, Pasco, Polk, Sarasota, and Manatee Counties were hit pretty hard.  One by one, families had to give up their newcomers because it cost too damn much to drive to the building every day.  They even cut some slack to the 3rd and 4th phasers.  It got to the point where they only had to attend Fri open meeting and all day Sat & Sun and that was it.  With all that freedom and no newcomer responsibility,
alot of them started messing around.  It was not long before several were back on drugs and "conning" their way through the program.
It was ludicris.  They would get baked in the car on the drive over from Tampa, hit the visine, come into group, and confront people like me!!!  I had my suspicions, but
who was going to listen to a lowly 1st phaser
on a court ordered program that had only recently stopped being a jerk?  The screw-up
first happened in May of 1978, and did not surface until September, when we moved from the Milton Roy/Silor Optical building to the Morgan Yacht Building behind Tyrone Mall.  Once the word got out all hell broke loose.
End of Part One...............

538
I am gonna see my mom and see what kind of pictures I can dig up, plus maybe get some
current shots of the old Morgan Yacht Building.  They will not allow photos of the Gandy Straight building because it is up for sale by Verizon, and they are trying desperately to hide the buildings true origins from any potential buyer!!!

539
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / NEW PICTURES
« on: August 06, 2002, 08:36:00 PM »
Could the girl in red leaning in front of Chris Cassler have been Sheryl Adkins?  I had heard from people that she had moved on to staff.  I last saw her sister Lee at Steve Andrews house when his brother Tom still lived with him.  Steve was way cool.  He had a job as a draftsman for the city of Pinellas Park and owned his own house at the age of 23.  I helped him with his lawn business when I was in between jobs and he really saved my butt!  Lee had really liked the song ROCKY RACOON when she heard it for the first time on his stereo, and later Steve picked up his guitar and we all sang it again for her.  I don't think I'll ever have freinds like that again.    -Bob

540
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / GINGER & then and now pictures
« on: August 05, 2002, 10:55:00 AM »
I know what you mean about asking questions.
When I saw Marnie's first post, I thought it was a cruel trick.  I nervously sent her an e-mail asking her to provide details of a present I had given her the last Christmas I ever saw her and she finally remembered.  Running across people from the program is like two people meeting next to the Berlin Wall in the cold war days.

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