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The Seed Discussion Forum / Portrait of Art
« on: October 22, 2004, 10:47:00 AM »
OK, so all of this discussion is really making me have some strong memories of Art. I think probably all of us are Art experts, because we relied upon his moods and approval for our own self worth. So, I'll share a few:
Art was about 5'7" tall, barrell-chested, with a kind of cocky, ball-of-the-feet walk, like a boxer, but also light on his feet like a dancer - which he was. He had thinning, sandy-colored hair that he wore in a 'Caesar' cut, brushed forward, and he would nervously comb this with his fingers. He had kind of a confident FDR smile, and that image was reinforced by the cigarette holder he used. He had very brilliant, blue eyes, and they did in fact twinkle. His complexion was kind of ruddy, outdoorsey, with crows feet at the corners of his eyes. He wore a heavy gold chain, a pinky ring, and had an old tattoo on his right forearm, probably from his military days. He typically wore a pastel shirt, I remember in particular a light-blue short sleeved shirt he favored, and invariably his socks would match the shirt (something all male staff copied). He wore slacks, and often wore white shoes with a matching white belt (a look that would later be called "full Cleveland"). His voice was pleasant, a little raspy, with an old-fashioned Brooklyn accent. He could play the ukelele, dance a softshoe, sing a little bit, tell a couple of jokes. He was athletic and competative, and had a quick, hot temper that he seemed to get over quickly. He was bright, but no intellectual - you got the impression he'd scanned a few books without ever reading anything deeply. He was 55 years old when I first met him and about 62 when I left. The general impression was of a confident, charming guy, with a military bearing, well-dressed, fatherly, maybe a bit cocky - kind of like a good, mid-level salesman.
In general, a very appealing guy, but an enigma too - what was this guy doing hanging out with a bunch of teenagers in a warehouse in Florida?
When Art would lead a rap, it was pretty general and impressionistic. He'd talk a bit about his past, growing up poor during the depression, serving in World War II, becoming an entertainer. His alcoholism was reduced to a couple of sentances about ending up living in his car and having no friends left, and considering suicide. I never felt very touched by this, a bit sad but other staff had way more dramatic stories. Plus it was hard to see Art as a drunk. Then - the AA story, working with he actor Art Carney, a fellow alcoholic, and working at Belleview in New York, working as a comedian at the Playboy Club. Beginning the The Seed, maybe on the old yacht he'd bought, was described as "AA saved my life, but I wanted to take things further." It was pretty quick, vague and then - time for songs and jokes!
He was married to Shelley, a pretty, completely shy woman 20 years younger. She spoke very little, and usually in a Marilyn Monroe-like whisper - kind of spooky. I thought there might be something wrong with her, like a social phobia. It seemed to kill her to be in front of the group, though she smiled gamely. They would sing a duet together, "Making Whoopie" (she couldn't sing at all, part of the joke I guess, in addition to the song being about "Making Whoopie" which none of us were supposed to even be thinking about!)
Art was always surrounded by staff - he'd jump in, jump out of things and they'd do the work of leading the raps, playing the tough guy, the day to day. Staff were loyal, and mirrored Art's moods - if he had a bad day, they'd come into a rap loaded for bear, and look out. If some kid did something a little off, and Art would crack a grin, maybe this kid would get a bit of a break. Being called into the 'Back Office' was the worst thing. It never happened to me though so I can't tell you. The worst I got was a "don't do that anymore" or "get your head out of the gutter." At least until I wanted to assert myself, then just being told "no" was bad enough.
When Art was mad, staff would protectively group around him and then fan out on attack mode, mirroring and amplifying his anger.
The heirarchy thing was weird, because it was very strictly followed but was not explicit. Even among senior staff, some were more senior than others. And junior staff would change from time to time - if you were a regular member of the group but not part of the inner circle it was a constant guessing game of who was up, down or sideways and so trying to figure out who to listen to was difficult. However if Lybbi told you no, that was it. She was Art's surrogate wife since Shelley basically faded into the woodwork. Other staff of my time there roughly fit this family metaphor - Ginger was the funny, scrappy younger daughter, Ken and John were like the favored older sons, Bob W. and Cliff were like rivals for number two or three spot, with Bob being the mean one and Cliff the pushover nice guy. Evy was the cute, shy but loyal one - look out if you did something she thought would hurt Art. Cookie was the A student, Laura the reformed bimbo, Ray K. the redneck, Bob K. the pretty-boy (but look out if you crossed him).
Everbody was completely pidgeon-holed by the group. This is something that is also said to be typical of disfunctional families - you've got the hero, the slut, the nerd, the rebel, the jokester, and if you ever try to step out of that role the whole group would look at you like you were crazy - what do you mean, you want to go to school, your the lawn-guy, right?
Personally, I was dying for Art's approval. I wanted nothing more than to be elevated to staff - that was my highest ambition. Actually, my highest ambition was to like and love myself, but I thought I was so unworthy of that that I believed approval by Art and the group would convey worth on me I couldn't find myself.
Despite Art's professed gift of "instant awareness," I felt he looked right through me and failed to see the person that I was. So ultimately, I was locked in the same struggle that I'd had with my own father, who was a distant and angry man when I was a kid. Art used to say, "The opposite of Love isn't Hate, it's Indifference" and ironically, I felt he was fairly indifferent to me. For anyone who actually who was subject to Art's approval in a strong way, that must have been a powerful force. The lack of that allowed me to leave at a time when the Seed was desparately hanging on to graduates and jealously keeping them apart from the world and the lives they might lead.
Now that the Seed has split up, with some still on Art's side and some who have fallen away, the whole thing is a sad reflection of a family with an aging patriarch. It would be a parody except for the genuine compassion and loyalty which is involved, and the tragedy of lost dreams and wasted youth and all of the elements of drama.
No doubt, the Seed had an influence on a lot of lives and some of that was positive, some negative, read these posts to get your own impression. But Art the man, is still an unknown, a guy who really didn't talk a lot about himself, and maybe really he was just lonely, after all is said and done, and he created his own family which at one time was unbelievably supportive and committed to him.
Art is now aparently very ill with Parkinson's, and a few former Seedlings (ironically not the one's most favored at the peak of things) keep in touch and treat him kindly. He was a surrogate father and it's kind of like the favored children have broken all ties and left and the black sheep have returned to comfort the old man in his last years.
I don't see this as a blame or shame game in any way, it's just the way the world is and we need to look at it honestly and understand it. I'm still not sure where the Seed came from or where it's going, it has spawned abusive programs like straight and it has no doubt helped some people live better lives (arguable point, but I am going on the testimonials on this site). Art failed in his dream to create a 'Seed Army' and drugs and alcohol are still with us, probably for ever.
I really think the Seed was a great story if nothing else and we can learn a lot by telling it.
_________________
Wally Gator[ This Message was edited by: cleveland on 2004-10-22 07:58 ][ This Message was edited by: cleveland on 2004-10-22 09:57 ]
Art was about 5'7" tall, barrell-chested, with a kind of cocky, ball-of-the-feet walk, like a boxer, but also light on his feet like a dancer - which he was. He had thinning, sandy-colored hair that he wore in a 'Caesar' cut, brushed forward, and he would nervously comb this with his fingers. He had kind of a confident FDR smile, and that image was reinforced by the cigarette holder he used. He had very brilliant, blue eyes, and they did in fact twinkle. His complexion was kind of ruddy, outdoorsey, with crows feet at the corners of his eyes. He wore a heavy gold chain, a pinky ring, and had an old tattoo on his right forearm, probably from his military days. He typically wore a pastel shirt, I remember in particular a light-blue short sleeved shirt he favored, and invariably his socks would match the shirt (something all male staff copied). He wore slacks, and often wore white shoes with a matching white belt (a look that would later be called "full Cleveland"). His voice was pleasant, a little raspy, with an old-fashioned Brooklyn accent. He could play the ukelele, dance a softshoe, sing a little bit, tell a couple of jokes. He was athletic and competative, and had a quick, hot temper that he seemed to get over quickly. He was bright, but no intellectual - you got the impression he'd scanned a few books without ever reading anything deeply. He was 55 years old when I first met him and about 62 when I left. The general impression was of a confident, charming guy, with a military bearing, well-dressed, fatherly, maybe a bit cocky - kind of like a good, mid-level salesman.
In general, a very appealing guy, but an enigma too - what was this guy doing hanging out with a bunch of teenagers in a warehouse in Florida?
When Art would lead a rap, it was pretty general and impressionistic. He'd talk a bit about his past, growing up poor during the depression, serving in World War II, becoming an entertainer. His alcoholism was reduced to a couple of sentances about ending up living in his car and having no friends left, and considering suicide. I never felt very touched by this, a bit sad but other staff had way more dramatic stories. Plus it was hard to see Art as a drunk. Then - the AA story, working with he actor Art Carney, a fellow alcoholic, and working at Belleview in New York, working as a comedian at the Playboy Club. Beginning the The Seed, maybe on the old yacht he'd bought, was described as "AA saved my life, but I wanted to take things further." It was pretty quick, vague and then - time for songs and jokes!
He was married to Shelley, a pretty, completely shy woman 20 years younger. She spoke very little, and usually in a Marilyn Monroe-like whisper - kind of spooky. I thought there might be something wrong with her, like a social phobia. It seemed to kill her to be in front of the group, though she smiled gamely. They would sing a duet together, "Making Whoopie" (she couldn't sing at all, part of the joke I guess, in addition to the song being about "Making Whoopie" which none of us were supposed to even be thinking about!)
Art was always surrounded by staff - he'd jump in, jump out of things and they'd do the work of leading the raps, playing the tough guy, the day to day. Staff were loyal, and mirrored Art's moods - if he had a bad day, they'd come into a rap loaded for bear, and look out. If some kid did something a little off, and Art would crack a grin, maybe this kid would get a bit of a break. Being called into the 'Back Office' was the worst thing. It never happened to me though so I can't tell you. The worst I got was a "don't do that anymore" or "get your head out of the gutter." At least until I wanted to assert myself, then just being told "no" was bad enough.
When Art was mad, staff would protectively group around him and then fan out on attack mode, mirroring and amplifying his anger.
The heirarchy thing was weird, because it was very strictly followed but was not explicit. Even among senior staff, some were more senior than others. And junior staff would change from time to time - if you were a regular member of the group but not part of the inner circle it was a constant guessing game of who was up, down or sideways and so trying to figure out who to listen to was difficult. However if Lybbi told you no, that was it. She was Art's surrogate wife since Shelley basically faded into the woodwork. Other staff of my time there roughly fit this family metaphor - Ginger was the funny, scrappy younger daughter, Ken and John were like the favored older sons, Bob W. and Cliff were like rivals for number two or three spot, with Bob being the mean one and Cliff the pushover nice guy. Evy was the cute, shy but loyal one - look out if you did something she thought would hurt Art. Cookie was the A student, Laura the reformed bimbo, Ray K. the redneck, Bob K. the pretty-boy (but look out if you crossed him).
Everbody was completely pidgeon-holed by the group. This is something that is also said to be typical of disfunctional families - you've got the hero, the slut, the nerd, the rebel, the jokester, and if you ever try to step out of that role the whole group would look at you like you were crazy - what do you mean, you want to go to school, your the lawn-guy, right?
Personally, I was dying for Art's approval. I wanted nothing more than to be elevated to staff - that was my highest ambition. Actually, my highest ambition was to like and love myself, but I thought I was so unworthy of that that I believed approval by Art and the group would convey worth on me I couldn't find myself.
Despite Art's professed gift of "instant awareness," I felt he looked right through me and failed to see the person that I was. So ultimately, I was locked in the same struggle that I'd had with my own father, who was a distant and angry man when I was a kid. Art used to say, "The opposite of Love isn't Hate, it's Indifference" and ironically, I felt he was fairly indifferent to me. For anyone who actually who was subject to Art's approval in a strong way, that must have been a powerful force. The lack of that allowed me to leave at a time when the Seed was desparately hanging on to graduates and jealously keeping them apart from the world and the lives they might lead.
Now that the Seed has split up, with some still on Art's side and some who have fallen away, the whole thing is a sad reflection of a family with an aging patriarch. It would be a parody except for the genuine compassion and loyalty which is involved, and the tragedy of lost dreams and wasted youth and all of the elements of drama.
No doubt, the Seed had an influence on a lot of lives and some of that was positive, some negative, read these posts to get your own impression. But Art the man, is still an unknown, a guy who really didn't talk a lot about himself, and maybe really he was just lonely, after all is said and done, and he created his own family which at one time was unbelievably supportive and committed to him.
Art is now aparently very ill with Parkinson's, and a few former Seedlings (ironically not the one's most favored at the peak of things) keep in touch and treat him kindly. He was a surrogate father and it's kind of like the favored children have broken all ties and left and the black sheep have returned to comfort the old man in his last years.
I don't see this as a blame or shame game in any way, it's just the way the world is and we need to look at it honestly and understand it. I'm still not sure where the Seed came from or where it's going, it has spawned abusive programs like straight and it has no doubt helped some people live better lives (arguable point, but I am going on the testimonials on this site). Art failed in his dream to create a 'Seed Army' and drugs and alcohol are still with us, probably for ever.
I really think the Seed was a great story if nothing else and we can learn a lot by telling it.
_________________
Wally Gator[ This Message was edited by: cleveland on 2004-10-22 07:58 ][ This Message was edited by: cleveland on 2004-10-22 09:57 ]