Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

To the former parent who thinks a wimp's been writing this stuff:

Maybe your kid discovered himself there, but for others like myself, the true discovery and growth occured after we escaped from their repressive one size fits all program.

I became more outgoing and personable AFTER I left.

I discovered I was a top student AFTER I left.

I became happy and confident AFTER I left.

And by the way, I was a lot tougher, both physically and mentally, than most of the true believers there.  Believe it. :wink:

What could Hyde do legally?  Nothing, that's what.  Sue for defamation?  We're talking about an institution, not a person, and in any case, defamation has to involve false statements - not the truths being exposed on this board.  Don't fall for any legal fearmongerming crap.  They can't do a thing about the postings on this board legally.  Our statements are fully protected by the First Amendment.  Keep on telling the truth!  [ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-05 15:58 ]

I hope they ARE having a close look at what's on this board.  Maybe it'll clue them in as to why so many of their former students and parents, even those like myself who "successfully" made it through the program, won't have anything to do with the place and won't give them a dime.

I've included enough information about muyself on this board for them to figure out who I am.  What are they going to do - put me on 2/4?  If they want to inquire as to why I feel so strongly they're welcome to ask.  I do understand the trepidation those still involved with the program might have about giving out too much info about themselves.  From my past experiences, I think they're justified in worrying that the school might use it against them.  All I can say is have courage, and I don't mean the "courage" on the Hyde shield.  I mean real courage, real integrity and real leadership.

Tommy,

I, too, tried come up with something offensive.  I got a guy to accompany me with his guitar and did a passable Axl Rose imitation, screeching out the "I used to love her, but I had to kill her" song by Guns & Roses.

The faculty went BALLISTIC.  The look on Joe Gauld's face was priceless.

Of course, they made do another "audition" with a less offensive song.

They had absolutely no sense of humor. [ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-05 11:23 ]

Oh yeah, and I would've happily traded the "Sly Stallone in Rocky IV" build for the "Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption" build just to not have to perform in one of their cheesy musical productions.  :lol:

To the Anonymous guy who thinks I'm blaming others,

I appreciate that you're not really trying to rip me or pull the Hyde "you just don't get it" business as to my post.  But I do feel compelled to address a few things you said.

Punishing a bright student because they aren't a "leader" in class is downright disgaceful.  I never said I was screwed in life by the time I got to college, I was merely pointing that due to an unconscionable grading system, I had fewer options at that time than if they had graded my work simply on its merits.  And I have a right to take them to task for it.

Also, my post may have appeared rhetorical in form, but in substance, it wasn't.  I was there. These things actually happened.

Of course, the typical Hyde approach is to have  the student always blame him or herself.  In the real world, that isn't always the case.  We have the right to vent our anger when others wrong us, when an institution wrongs us.  Hey, I moved on.  I worked hard AND played hard in college (a much healthier approach than the grim, all "work" approach that is central to the Hyde experience), got into law school and made a life for myself.  I make good money and enjoy kicking the government's butt in court. I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids.  Life is good.  Believe me, I'm not blaming them for anything in my life now.

Those of use who endured that place have a right to vent, and, I believe, a moral duty to warn prospective parents.  My parents bought into their bulls*&^ and it was three years of my life that I'll never get back.  If anything good came of that, it's that I now thank god for every day I have on this earth that I can live my life the way I should - without having to share my intimate secrets with strangers, without know-it-alls trying to mold me into something I'm not.

What I'm seeing in these discussions is a lot of people like me who had terrible experiences there.  And a few of the pro-Hyde folks who respond to our anger by responding the way the school did:  you don't get it.   It's a free country and as a lawyer who fights every day to uphold the constitution, I think you've got the right to say what you want on these boards.  But understand that if you're coming on here to defend the school and in doing so, telling folks that they just don't get it, that they, not Hyde School failed, well, I have to say that you really ought to consider keeping your $.02 to yourself.  It's just not appropriate in a forum where people are clearing some of the bile from their souls.

Life is not a Hyde seminar.  And neither are these discussions.

Tommy,

They most certainly did tell my parents to throw me out on the streets.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have reported them (my parents AND the school) to the state department of social services.  I would have wound up in foster care, but I wouldn't have had to go back to Hyde.

At Hyde, they probably consider me to be one of their "success stories," but I think I did well after Hyde in spite of the place.  I did graduate with a "diploma" (only given to about 5 or 6 out of the 35 kids I graduated with, the rest got a "certificate" or a "document" - another screwed-up aspect of the program).  But by the second half of my senior year, I knew how to play their game and did so while trying to be as humane as possible to the underclassmen (I never took pleasure in making them do calisthenics at 5:30 in the morning).