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Facility Question and Answers / Re: Mountain Homes and Beyond...
« on: March 05, 2012, 10:47:11 AM »
Thanks for the tip on the book actually man I'll have to check it out.
What brought this back for me was a couple week ago i stumbled onto one of my journals from the program and read through a few entries... Most was just me filling pages with what I had done that day (A journal entry was required each day) Then i stumbled onto an entry that i wrote after my Therapist had failed me and it immediately took me back to being there.
last week I google'd the place and read this
http://just-another-hike.blogspot.com/2 ... chive.html
That kind of lead to "Man was it really that bad?" and I started to try to remember....
I think it was a real kick to the stomach when I read that HEAL suspected the place of being abusive, and watching the short film "Aaron Bacon" and relating to alot of that shit..... Thats when I put it together that "Man I think something was wrong with that place"
My Parents and I... well.... It's complicated. I knew they'd spent alot of money, time, stress, and more money to put me through the program. I didn't want them to feel like they'd wasted it all... So i kept alot of shit from them... I wanted them to feel like it was worth it... And I think the other thing the program banks on is, If you take someone away from people they love for an extended period of time, when you finally give them those people back your going to get a very enthusiastic short term response... I told them it had worked wonders, as not to disappoint them, A month later the fights had resumed but to alot lesser of an extremity. Our relationship really got better last June shortly after I turned 20 and I learned to accept myself, and other people for who they are.
Yes I still have course materials... Some packets and journals somewhere in the basement along with my backpack, bowdrill set, and some other stuff. I think I may be due for a bonfire pretty soon....
Interactions between students were mixed...There were never really any feuds between students, none of that "Man I'm gonna fuck this kid up" Looking back actually student interaction was probably one of the factors in us staying sane, the fact that someone else was going through the same shit you were (well more or less) was comforting, and you felt like you had something in common with these kids. We weren't allowed to talk to each other outside of earshot, we weren't allowed to touch each other at all, We weren't allowed to really tell each other much about our history. Really it was just the students trying to get through as quickly as possible and help others do the same, and the ones who didn't give a fuck.. I tried to always help other kids get their tasks for their week done, and try to counter the constant self criticism of MHYR by constantly encouraging them...
I heard three kids ran from here, broke into a home, and stole a firearm...... That tells you a bit about the level of mental and emotional desperation these kids are put through in the program..
When I first got to the program, the only thing I kept thinking was, "If I jump into that fire, you think I'd burn alive before one of the staff tried to pull me out?"
It really really puts you in a dark place man.... A dark fucking place......
What brought this back for me was a couple week ago i stumbled onto one of my journals from the program and read through a few entries... Most was just me filling pages with what I had done that day (A journal entry was required each day) Then i stumbled onto an entry that i wrote after my Therapist had failed me and it immediately took me back to being there.
last week I google'd the place and read this
http://just-another-hike.blogspot.com/2 ... chive.html
That kind of lead to "Man was it really that bad?" and I started to try to remember....
I think it was a real kick to the stomach when I read that HEAL suspected the place of being abusive, and watching the short film "Aaron Bacon" and relating to alot of that shit..... Thats when I put it together that "Man I think something was wrong with that place"
My Parents and I... well.... It's complicated. I knew they'd spent alot of money, time, stress, and more money to put me through the program. I didn't want them to feel like they'd wasted it all... So i kept alot of shit from them... I wanted them to feel like it was worth it... And I think the other thing the program banks on is, If you take someone away from people they love for an extended period of time, when you finally give them those people back your going to get a very enthusiastic short term response... I told them it had worked wonders, as not to disappoint them, A month later the fights had resumed but to alot lesser of an extremity. Our relationship really got better last June shortly after I turned 20 and I learned to accept myself, and other people for who they are.
Yes I still have course materials... Some packets and journals somewhere in the basement along with my backpack, bowdrill set, and some other stuff. I think I may be due for a bonfire pretty soon....
Interactions between students were mixed...There were never really any feuds between students, none of that "Man I'm gonna fuck this kid up" Looking back actually student interaction was probably one of the factors in us staying sane, the fact that someone else was going through the same shit you were (well more or less) was comforting, and you felt like you had something in common with these kids. We weren't allowed to talk to each other outside of earshot, we weren't allowed to touch each other at all, We weren't allowed to really tell each other much about our history. Really it was just the students trying to get through as quickly as possible and help others do the same, and the ones who didn't give a fuck.. I tried to always help other kids get their tasks for their week done, and try to counter the constant self criticism of MHYR by constantly encouraging them...
I heard three kids ran from here, broke into a home, and stole a firearm...... That tells you a bit about the level of mental and emotional desperation these kids are put through in the program..
When I first got to the program, the only thing I kept thinking was, "If I jump into that fire, you think I'd burn alive before one of the staff tried to pull me out?"
It really really puts you in a dark place man.... A dark fucking place......