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Messages - grapeape

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Dear Former PCS kid:  your feelings are normal. and make perfect sense.  Even though your mom not  be open right now to face the enormity of what she and your dad did to you at least she has learned enough to stand up for your brother (although maybe as part of the divorce drama she is opposed to anything he does; i.e., if he wanted to keep him out maybe she would want him to go to the school).  When parents are caught up in their drama the kids pay the big price.  Remember that most parents are pretty narcisstic and in their minds everything is about themselves.  That is why some pretty shitty decisions are made that have nothing to do with what is actually in the kid's best interest (been there; done that and learned from it).  Please support your mother's decision to keep your brother out and maybe little by little she will come around to understanding the affect it had on you.  I am sorry you had to go through that as a child but now you have to be more mature and intelligent than your mother has been in the past.  She is so eaten up with anger, resentment, fear and guilt that there is no room for much else.  I hope she can get through that with therapy or whatever so that one day she will be able to really listen to you.  Good luck!

Aspen Education Group / Stone Mountain School
« on: July 29, 2006, 03:03:36 PM »
I found a most interesting book called Rumspringa.  Rumspringa is little-known rite of passage among the Amish community.  Now you would think the Amish being religious and all would be more strict than the average community.  This particular right of passage not only allows but requires that when a kid turns 16 they "run around", i.e., they have no restrictions on drug and alcohol use, sex, using modern conveniences, partying etc.  The purpose is for them to exercise have the experience to make a choice whether or not to commit to the community or be in the world.  Interesting that this highly religious group acknowledges a person's inante intelligence and that being forced into compliance is not a "choice"; that "commitments" made in an absence of choice are meaningless.  Different perspective, huh.  The require kids to do exactly what thousands of others are getting locked up for.  Reminds me of a family in town who allowed their girls to do exactly what they wanted; no restrictions on anything.  Result: all the taboos lost appeal and focus.  Today grown up they are great young women who have made much better choices then their peers whose parents were overinvolved in their kids "choices".

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