On 2005-10-22 14:57:00, Antigen wrote:
"Forced, tricked, what's the difference? Never mind the austensible message (which was consistently contradicted by their actions), pay attention to the other side of it for a moment.
"If I leave here and go back to the streets[sic], I'll be totally misserable cause my addiction[sic] is right outside the door doing push ups!" That can be potent a self fulfilling prophecy. I don't think it would ever have happened if you hadn't been so thoroughly indoctrinated w/ the idea.
It's NORMAL for a 14yo kid to be averse to growing up, damn it! It's NORMAL for a young teen to want to sample the goods and try a little of whatever other, older kids are doing.
Thom, you got bad directions from the Seed. I think the reason why you've had souch a rough time 'working your program' is because it just doesn't work very well in the real world.
Besides, you never would have been able to keep w/ the no sex/masturbating rule for very long. So it's probably all for the best.
Ging,
This is not the first time you have made mention of your perception that I have trouble working my program. You make it sound like I've been in this life-long battle for abstinance. This has not been my situation at all. in the early '70's, I worked the program, and got results. Then I stopped working the program, and stopped getting results. I did that twice during that time period.
From the period of around '75-'91, I worked no program, and drugged and drank as much as I wanted to. From '91 to the present, I have worked the program, and gotten my desired results. Abstinance from alcohol, drugs (including nicotine) and cut way back on caffiene. I have no problem with the real world stuff today.
I understand that if I smoke, I increase the risk of cancer, heart disease, emphysema, etc. So I choose not to smoke because I don't really want those things.
If I drink/drug, I increase the risk of liver, heart, kidney, brain, relationship, legal, employment, etc. problems. Again, these are not things I want, so I don't drink/drug.
I see no problem here. Why manufacture one? Is it because of a need of your's to use sensationalism and exageration to somehow try and distort my experiences into something more supportive of your agenda? It's an anoying habit of yours, and I do wish you would try to refrain from it. I don't feel you are any more qualified to psycho-analize my behavior than Art is. Or...did you visit the paper mill too?
Not quite sure why you saw fit to through in the comment about sex/masturbation, but I'm glad I was not under that rule. That guy's story the other week was hard to hear. Must have been tough. When I was in the Seed, it was strongly suggested to me that I avoid a 'guy/girl' relationship during the first year. Makes sense to me today, as I was not mature enough to handle all the dynamics of a healthy relationship until I was about 40 :grin: . I could do the sex part, but had trouble with real intimacy and being responsible. Nothing about masturbation was mentioned to me at the Seed.
[ This Message was edited by: Thom on 2005-10-22 21:42 ]