Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

About girls discrediting those with negative experiences

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Anonymous:
I have read tons of posts here about how some people are angry and saying that the girls who had a positive experience are trying to discredit them and their experiences. I don't think that is ok, but in reading most all the threads here I didn't see one person saying that girls who had a bad time there are lying, or wrong in sharing their experiences. It seems like there is lots of blame being pointed the way of these several girls but I don't see anything they've said to imply that there wasn't value to different peoples experiences that differ from their own. Can anyone point out specific things to me because I didn't see anything?

Anonymous:
Here I go again trying to explain myself..

They keep on saying "well mms didn't hurt ME", "it saved MY life", "mms was not abusive TO ME",.. "it helped ME out", "I don't undertand how people can call it abusive..""

I,I,I, ME, ME, ME, (straight up from mms) atleast they could attempt to relate with us? I feel like they can not look at other girls experinces who felt damaged and try to support them. I just keep on hearing nagging voices in my head when I try to think about my own pain, and it makes me think that I am wrong for my feelings. I wish they would just listen closely because they were there too, and they witnessed a lot of these things, and in my case no one stood up for me back then, at all. I was alienated from eveyone and no one was there to understand me. John was only there to tell me how awful I was. Now years down the road we speak up and we don't seem to be heard. It would be great for me to get those who "had a great time" to stick up for what is right, and stand by my side, even though their experince were "great". They are the most valuable witnesses at my stand. :tup:

Star

katfish:
I'll post where this is located, Ill have to go through all the posts but for now I'l provide a few examples from memory- things girls w/ good experiences have written to those with negative experiences:

They are the common denominator- (note: this term used frequently at MMS ) essentially saying they were sent to MMS b/c they were fucked up and can't move on b/c they remiain fucked up, as if it's a choice to have had a neg. exp at MMS- and these grils recommend they move on.

I have frequently read girls say that girls with negative experiences should quit whining and that we all needed MMS.

That it's our problem and since we are so unhappy now that we are seeking to blame someone or something- MMS.

Those are specifice ones I can recall, I look for 'em when I have time.
All these things function to negate valid experiences.  I think they also bring up a lot of anger for some if not many b/c these things ring familiar to what we all felt or thought to some degree at some point and we all told ourselves- and perhaps some of us still feel this sense of 'mabe I am crazy'- b/c it is that MMS forced us to think this way for years and even after we graduated. So even if they couldn't completely force us to believe it, part of us did believe it for a while until some of us became suicidal, tried to supress things further with drugs or some did nothing but emerse themselves in academics until one day we all realized, it's not us that's was the problem.

Ladies, correct me if I'm wrong, I'm sort of putting words into your mouths, this has been my experience and as best I understand it, yours as well.

When I have more time I'll provide links directly to such statements- but they're out there, I assure you.  Think that is why most alumni who had such painful experiences are on the defensive.


I agree with Star, as well, beyond what I mention above, it is unreasonable for anyone who was at MMS to deny that, regardless of what their personal experience was,  we were all witness to really messed up things that happened to other girls and once hearing their stories now, clearly these things created long term damage.  To deny that is absurd, in my opinion and reveals something about their incapacity to...well, to some degree acknowledge fault in MMS.
Oh, and someone had their parent (although I'm don't believe that actually was a parent) say something like she had found that when she was abused she simply had to change and stop accepting abuse- again, assuming we are all being abused at the moment, assuming we had some power at MMS to stop what was going on, and that it is out fault anyway.

Thanks for listening/reading, ya'll!

Kat

Anonymous:
I am one of the people who has posted a thread using "I, I, I, Me, Me, Me."  I had a good experience.  The reason I'm not jumping in here and defending/supporting every person that had a bad experience is because there is no specific things being said about what bad things happened directly to you.  Most girls jsut generalize their overall experience as negative.  My overall experience was positive, so it would be hypocritical of me to bounce back and forth between opinions.
HOWEVER.
Specifically speaking, when MG had to state she was a Nazi and say it to the faces of girls who were biracial, that was wrong.  When LS, CS, or SS were made fun of for not being extremely athletic or able in sports, that was wrong.  When John forgot about AP shoveling snow on the basketball court for 6 hours, that was wrong.
I want to support you girls who had negative experiences, but I am not going to be a hypocrite.  Share your negative experiences!  And I will try and see through your eyes and support you.  I was forced to eat foods I didn?t like, but I don?t see that as abuse.  But there are some things that happened at MMS that WERE wrong and were not acceptable.  So please share your experiences? You will have my support at your side.  But a general post about how your whole experience was negative; that?s something I won?t judge, but its also something I don?t understand.  So please me more specific!!  I want to support you... Just as I want you to support me.  

On a lighter note... Do any of you remember when we would stand in front of the kitchen and sing "this little light of mine" every Sat. morning before work crew?   ::drummer::

Antigen:
Though I'm sure I'm biased in favor of girls who view MSS as abusive, I also have over 20 years distance from my own turn through a similar program. So take this fwiw to you.

I definitely noticed a reproachful "how dare you say such things!" tone to some of the pro-MMS comments. Some of the most obvious ones are topics like "Where would we all be w/o MMS" and "What I'm asking and what I want answers to." And I believe those of you who say Colleen called you up and tried to get you to shut up. No kidding! We get that aaaaalllll the time in all of these forums, bar none!

But why? That's the big question, at least to my mind. I think it's just force of habit. When you're there, you can't respond spontaniously to what's going on. And you don't get to take in natural, spontanious reactions from others. Everybody acts like whatever is going on is perfectly normal... even more, exceptionally good and right. After awhile, you come to believe it and forget that your primary motivation for responding that way is fear of consequences.

The difficult part for those defending MMS is that, if you think about it enough, you'll soon realize that these sanctimonious mother fuckers used you to enforce the abuse on the others and vice versa. So criticizm of MMS feels like a personal affront because, in a big way, it is. It's like saying "Why did you go along w/ this? didn't you stand up for me back then?" It's a tough thing to talk about. Really, I think we all understand very well why. After all, all but a rare few kids placed in that sort of environment respond in essentially the same way. So it can't be that each and every individual is just flawed somehow. By definition, your response to the situation was normal.

So the next logical step is to examine why well intended adults would intentionally place kids into such a fucked up situation.

(And please save me the riot act on foul language. It's clear to me that foul language is just okee dokee w/ MMS, so long as it's directed toward people for whom they have no respect. Grease to the geese is gravy to the gander, so my grandma told me. Sucks, doesn't it?)


The drug war places Leo in a round room and instructs him to piss in a corner.
--Antigen
--- End quote ---

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