General Interest > Open Free for All

When dose No mean No?

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Anonymous:
You need to get out of there ASAP.  It is NOT your fault that he is hitting you.  It sounds like since you allowed it to happen it may have changed his boundaries with you.  You need to leave, maybe tell him if he gets help and completes a program you would consider dating him again, if and only then.  And if he ever hits you again you'll be out of his life forever.  Easier said then done, but do it, you'll never regret leaving because it will either change him and free you, you'll always regret staying.  Don't ever let anyone abuse you again ever, have more respect for yourself.

Anonymous:
Listen, I got out of an abusive marriage after five years. I left after the first year and went back. After I went back, I got pregnant and felt trapped and also felt like I deserved what I had coming. Things only got worse as I lowerd the standards of expectations not only for him, but for me. I ended up having a nervous break down which was the physical evidence that I needed that my situation was literally making me sick.

In your case, 20 years is a long time. You might feel like you invested too much to simply walk away. But think about how you feel now. How are you gonna feel after 21 years? 22? 23? 24?  It's not gonna get better.

Leave, and find some ways to rebuild your self esteem.  There is no excuse for the way he treated you. At the same time, we teach people how to treat us based on our acceptance of it. Teach him that his standards for behavior are low by walking away.  YOu will also be telling yourself you deserve better by doing it.

Anonymous:
Thanks! I have got my point across now that when no is said it means no. I have moved in the other bedroom but at this point he drinks every night. I have to be careful  what I  say and just remain quite. I don't have any where to go and lived out on the streets for most of my childhood. what do you do when you are to old to start over. Where do you go?

Anonymous:
As horrible as it may sound as being your option, I suggest you leave and go to a DV shelter.

Everything you have is material. You can always get more. What you can't get back is your life.

If you leave, do it quickly as possible and do not let him know you are leaving. When a woman leaves an abusive partner she is most at risk of losing her life. I know from working in this field and I know from experience firsthand.

groovy1634:
no means no....plain and simple.....my heart goes out to you....leave his ass...it's alot easier than your mind/heart think it is...get out while you still have your soul.

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