hi tom,
I can relate to what you went through with suicide attempts. I have been struggling with depression most of my life.. that I cannot blame on Straight Inc. since it stemmed up before I even went into that facility.
Once I was being rebellious and got sent to a room (was thrown on the floor) the tile was cracked inside this room (in the facility) and pieces of it people peeled off from this room.. I tried to take one of the pieces and tried to slit my wrists.
The oldcomer being "aware" of me didn't notice me for 15 minutes, and then she asked "are you slitting your wrists?" I didn't answer her, she raised her hand during a rap session at the door of the room. The person doing the rap session didn't call on her for 1/2 an hour! By that point I was tired of crying and I was nearly asleep.
I was thrown into another room by staff and talked to by a councellor.. I told them I was tired of being yelled at for things that seemed very petty. They told me "it's something you need for your recovery, you need to stop being a druggie and listen up!"
I felt like there was no hope.
I cried all that day and felt like nobody was there for me to understand the pain and suffering.
I went to my host home that night and read the bible. (some oldcomers actually allowed us to do that). I found peace and a bit of comforting in that and I knew that tommorow would be a better day if I just kept doing what I was told "one day at a time" (and I thought to myself, yeah, then I can finally get out of here!)
