Every time I hear this song from Husker Du's Zen Arcade, I think of kids who've been slagged off into programs. I wish their parents weren't too "mature" to be listening to the Huskers. Rod Stewart's Pop Songbook, Vol. 69 ain't gonna give them a reminder or a clue about how fucking hard it is to be a teenager.
I think of my step daughter, mostly. Her mature, successful bio-father with his perceived "standing in the community" (Most people in town know he's a vile alcoholic prone to lunacy...except him, of course) threw his own flesh and blood into a violent cesspit, then turned a blind eye to the vicious, gang assault-style restraint that left her bloodied and broken, and the long periods she spent in complete isolation. Fuck "tough love". The concept of tough love started in AA - it can only be provided by people who do indeed love the troubled friend or family member. It means not enabling them to self-destruct, cutting off the flow of support and cash that keep them from hitting the bottom. You can't cast a kid into the care of a program and call it showing "tough love". The fucking staff and counselors in these shitholes don't love the kids, these program parents are too fucking stupid to realize they're running from their kids, abandoning them to the tender mercies of a desensitized goon squad. Call it what you will, but it's certainly no form of "love".
It's obvious I'm in a vile mood about some program issues, huh?
"Whatever"
He lives in his imagination, with those friends of his very own
He doesn't get along with the outside world, he'd rather be alone
Sometimes, when it's late at night, he starts to wonder why
(The plans he made can never happen, so all he does is cry).
His parents, they can't understand why their son, he turned out wrong
He runs away from all the pain and forgets them when he's gone
He'd rather be all by himself because his plans, they seem the best.
He finally gets the nerve one day and now life becomes a test.
Mom and Dad, I'm sorry
Mom and Dad, don't worry
I'm not the son you wanted, but what could you expect?
I've made my world of happiness to combat your neglect.
Program parents shouldn't be surprised when the lyrics to this next Husker Zen Arcade song describe their post-program relationship with the kid they betrayed. My step daughter understands the sentiment, it's her relationship with her bio-dad now. What a terrible price to pay, but in his mind it's her fault, never his. There's a special place in hell for him, after his hell on earth rattles to an unnoticed halt.
"Never Talking To You Again"
There are things that I'd like to say
But I'm never talking to you again
There's things I'd like to phrase some way
But I'm never talking to you again
I'm never talking to you again
I'm never talking to you
I'm tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you
I'd put you down where you belong
But I'm never talking to you again
I'd show you everywhere you're wrong
But I'm never talking to you again
