Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

Seeking the Truth

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katfish:
Hey Hannah,

Compared to what what?

Regarding to credentials, pressumably you would like to know my educational background?  I have am working on my Ba in POLSC & SOCIO.  I work with foster kids and as a counselor to 4th graders in a school in a not so nice area in Brookly...(and you guys think you had attitude- you haven't been around 4th graders in the 'hood- they're tough!)

I attended MMS when it first opened up, it was still co-ed when I arrived.  This was in 1992-1994, I was 13.  My dad was a very manipulative man and my mother was extremely unstable both were neglectful and I was an only child.

At 12 I had begun drinking, not often, but I was certainly using it to drown out my misery. I was sent to a non-theraputic school that I think some of you may have attended- Grier. At that time I began also to cut myself frequently and ultimately (superficially) slit my wrists during winter break- at the time I just new I was not wanting to live all that much, in retrospect I was ultimately reacting to lack of adult supervision and guidance in my life, lack of feeling valued or cared for at all. So then came MMS. With the techniques used at MMS I found myself not feeling comfortable to draw myself out, so I withdrew.  Essentially I played dumb, not conscionsly really- just a defense machanism and regurgitated everything back at the staff.  At the time what was popular with the staff was getting the kids to enter into a disassociative state and let them 'free write' to allow memories to reveal themselves.  I played along with that giving what I now realize false memories. I really just did what i felt i had to do to get by.  I did address some issues like with my folks, but nothing was really pressed that much.  Nothing real anyway- nothing I felt that was real... Like I said, don't think the qualifications were there to help in this instance.  It wasn't until my final month that I was given an IQ test and I was confronted with the results that were higher than anyone had expected...things became clear to the staff.  By then I had been there almost 2 years and they let me graduate.

When I left MMS I went to boarding school, struggled with being gay, as I had at MMS (another problem I had that was experessed but I think they were not qualified to deal with as it was ignored). I was on honor roll for a bit, but things fell apart for me and I dropped out of school after 10th grade.  I moved back in with my mom at 16 for the first time in many years.  My mom had become a Jehovah Witness- that was too much to handle so I moved out and started doing coke and heroin.  Got waaay out of control and again became very depressed, so moved out at 16 to NYC where I had a cousin.  Got my own place,  struggled with recovery, with work AA, depression, relationships and drinking when I got here.   Got my GED, got into college, realizing AA not for me, (I disliked the implication that you need to continously be a part of the program to 'recover' and remain sober) started learning about alternatives to AA like 'smart recovery' (see smartrecovery.org ) and found myself slowly becoming more self reliant and better at developing relationships that are based on mutual respect- through trial and error mostly I figured out a great deal through my own dealings with different professors, work, school, volunteer work, etc.  Learned many valuable lessons.  In a nutshell that's about it- in my free time I play drums with a local jazz band, walk my dogs or hang out with my girlfriend of 6 years.  And everything is perfect now- no j/k I'm happy with where I'm at though.  

Additionally, I don't think it's unfair to focus on mistakes made by MMS, after all this is a forum to discuss MMS.  they did some things that were damaging and the bottom line is that those things should be brought to light.[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-10-05 16:54 ]

katfish:
:tup:

for u ginger

katfish:

BarnardlyB:
Hannah...
Check your private messages.

I think were alot alike in the sence that MMS for both of us was better than any given day at home.

Please, Don't let Kat get to you. Shes been doing this for awhile. I feel your frustration.
I do however respect Kats ability to be stable in her feelings and response to others regarding the school.

Feel free to contact me...also read mine, and others response to many of these posts.
hope to hear from you.

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